💾 Archived View for thurk.org › blog › 362.gmi captured on 2022-04-28 at 17:33:03. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-03-01)
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Just earlier, I sent a message to Christián telling him that he is a *ego-stroking megalomaniac*. I enjoy poking at him about his self-absorbed attitude often. The reason for my *abuse* is not so much that he really is a *ego-stroking megalomaniac* but that he is sensitive about it. Jayson told me many times that my greatest *talent* was making those around me introspect. I've always had problems when people around me did not notice their own actions and especially the way they projected themselves onto others. My observation has always been and still is that people in general lack self-observation.
I'd not like to think as myself as also a *megalomaniac*, but I am certainly *ego-stroking*. I muse to myself many times a day during intellectually idle instants that I'd rather return to activities that make me happy. Activities that stroke my ego. I dislike ego projection and call it megalomania. Introverted ego-stroking is very fecund, however. Were I not to spend many chunks of time every day in pursuit of my own happiness, I'd break down.
And I don't want to break down. Whatever I can say about my mental fragility, supportive or contrary, without following my own possible footsteps I always see receding into the distance, I'd be truly wandrering in limbo. Another discussion that has passed between myself and other denizens of my life is how relationships encircle and prevent one from stepping outside to follow said footsteps. That circle tightens and tightens and finally one loses sight forever of those mythical prints.
Most people inhabit that circle in the name of security.
Never.
Fuck um.
@flavigula@sonomu.club
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