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~tetris

[About Work and Passion]

I like the idea of separating work problems and home life in a physical manner, and tend to have separate public identities tied to different code projects in this way.... but sometimes (read: often) during work hours I will solve a home issue that requires my immediate attention. It therefore feels a bit hypocritical of me not to make the reverse gesture of solving an immediate work problem when I'm at home.

[About commuting]

This I've experienced recently. A recent train strike meant that I had to rely on the bus more, and I found that I was more reflective and more productive in home matters than for work. This is a good thing, and I should definitely nurture this idea of switching off during the commute, since it saves me some extra "brain time" in the evenings.

[About attention]

So indeed, it is disrespectful to converse with someone whilst staring somewhere else -- but on the flip side of this, it's also disrespectful to walk into a room, say something, and immediately expect the other person to drop what they are doing to converse with you. Often that person (read: me) will need a few moments to pause what they are doing at a good spot, and then when ready, look to you to have a proper conversation.

I do like the premium attention time you describe though, there's a peaceful rhythm to the activities you talk about which I think is what I was striving for with my evenings with her (me: on laptop, her: with sketchpad). I see now that our attentions were on different things during these times, making them less than premium.

This is definitely something I can build on. Thanks for your reply

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~ew wrote:

but on the flip side of this, it's also disrespectful to walk into a room, say something, and immediately expect the other person to drop what they are doing to converse with you.

:-)

This is when I reply "What planet are you currently on?"

I am optimistic, that you will find a path forward.

~ew