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� System Failure: Issue #3 �
������������������������������������������������������������������������������
Welcome to our special ultra-spiffy con issue!@#$ I've been really lazy since
we got back from DefCon, and I haven't done one thing to the SysFail page
since then. I suck. Really, I do. This issue was really really late, but it's
all Darkcactus's fault cause he's the one who wanted to wait 3 weeks before he
wrote his DefCon review. :) Expect a major update to the page soon, and look
for System Failure #4 to be out within a couple weeks. Thanks to Toilet Duk
for the opening ASCII.
--Logic Box [8/25/97]
����������������������������������������������������������������������������Ŀ
� http://www.penguinpalace.com/sysfail/ �
� [system.failure@usa.net] �
������������������������������������������������������������������������������
����������������������������������������������������������������������������Ŀ
� CONTENTS �
� �
� DefCon 5 Review by Logic Box �
� DefCon 5 Review by Darkcactus �
� DefCon 5 Review by Pinguino �
� DefCon 5 Review by Colleen Card �
� No Hope Con Review by Pinguino, Alatar, P3nny, and Polymorf �
� The Nature of Magnetic Strips by Toilet Duk �
� Department Store Phones by RedBoxChiliPepper �
� Rights of Minors by Pinguino �
� A COCOT That Talks Back by Justine �
������������������������������������������������������������������������������
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DefCon 5 Review
by Logic Box (logic@linux.slackware.org)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Ah, DefCon. Darkcactus and I left for the hell-scorched land of Las
Vegas early in the morning on July 10th. We arrived at our destination, the
Excalibur hotel, at around 6 PM. After checking in, being really annoying at
hotel employees and guests, walking around the strip for a couple hours, and
ordering Beavis & Butt-head Do America on the hotel's pay-per-view service (we
were bored, ok?), we went to sleep and prepared for DefCon.

Day 1: Friday, July 11th
------------------------
After waking up and getting ready, Darkcactus and I headed down to the
Aladdin hotel and waited in a big long line along with the rest of the crazy
people waiting to get into the con. They let everybody into the convention
hall and told us to go buy our ID badges, then we sat around for awhile and
waited for the 303 crew to arrive.

We sat around for a few minutes, and were soon greeted by the
ever-hyper Pinguino. She took us over to where they were setting up the System
Failure table, and we met Gersh, Maq702, EightBall, and DisordeR. Pinguino
filled us in on the nifty SysFail Scavenger Hunt that was to take place, and
we stole somebody's table and set our stuff up.

After buying our ID badges and hanging up our spiffy System Failure
tablecloth on the wall behind our table, we set out the merchandise: System
Failure stickers, Penguin Palace comics, a portfolio of Pinguino's artwork,
and a large assortment of security books that we were selling for DisordeR (we
got to keep some of the money that we made off the books, which paid for our
table space).

We also did the System Failure Scavenger Hunt. A couple days before
the con, Pinguino wrote up a large list of elusive items for people to find
(such as security cameras, a security guard's badge and radio, and of course...
Andy Scott's finger). These items could be shown to us for points, and
whichever person or team reached 100 points first won. We managed to get some
SysFail articles out of it, plus this issue's cool opening ascii by Toilet
Duk, who ended up winning the Scavenger Hunt. Early on, DisordeR concocted an
evil plan to contact Telecon, who was still in 303, and have him ship all the
stuff on the Scavenger Hunt list to the con overnight so Dis could win. He
decided not to do that though.

Throughout the day, we met lots of cool people, many of whom were
Pinguino's friends from DefCon 4. Among them were Steagen (I forgot how to
spell that, dammit), Impy (he's got a thing for tying people up), Holy Cow,
Mr. YoYo, Joker, Green Eyes, Teklord, Lefty, and the TDYC guys. We were also
greeted early on by the 303 crew, which consisted of el_jefe, Zens, Shaedow,
Wedz, Pill, Paradox, Wraith, and Demonika. Later on we met Fonephuk (of
Undernet #phreak fame).

After meeting people for awhile, we watched as the infamous Carolyn
Meinel--the Happy Hacker--arrived. She runs the Happy Hacker mailing list at
shellonly.com, and pretty much everybody thinks she's a total idiot (which she
is). For some reason Pinguino had a sticker that said "Monitor port hacking is
really cool, thanks Carolyn. --SysFail" (Carolyn thinks looking over someone's
shoulder as they type is called "monitor port hackng"), and Darkcactus thought
it would be pretty funny if he stuck it on her back, so he did. Everyone was
taking pictures of her, and it took her a long time to figure out why.

After sitting through a rather boring talk on 'Hacking Vegas,' we met
up with Colleen Card and Sc0rp, and we all sat around and talked for a long
time. me, Darkcactus, Pinguino, Fonephuk, Steagen, Joker, Holy Cow, and Mr.
YoYo decided to go out and eat, and we roamed around for awhile before finally
ending up at the Luxor, where we proceeded to make a big mess and annoy just
about everyone at the restaurant. The waiter thought we were weird for writing
"PHEAR" on a dinner roll with a permanent marker. Oh well.

We all went back to the Aladdin and spent a couple hours getting
kicked out of multiple parties and being harassed by security. We ran into XBS
while roaming around the Aladdin, then everybody decided to split up and go
back to their hotel rooms. Me, Darkcactus, Pinguino, and XBS went to the
Excalibur. After dropping off Pinguino and XBS's stuff in our hotel room, we
found a soda machine on the same floor as my room. Since our feet hurt like
hell from walking all day, we filled a bunch of ziploc bags with ice and put
them on our feet.

We got pretty comfortable sitting there in the hallway, and we pulled
up a bunch of chairs and sat around and talked about Penguin Palace stuff for
awhile. After stealing all the "Do Not Disturb/No Moleste" signs off all the
doors in our immediate vicinity, we suddenly decided it would be a good idea
to sleep in the hallway. We all pulled a bunch of cushions off the chairs and
laid down on the floor and went to sleep (except for Darkcactus, who didn't
sleep at all during the con).

Day 2: Saturday, July 12th
--------------------------
Darkcactus left us to go get food at about 7:00 AM, and about 15
minutes later, we were awakened by a security guard. After showing him my room
key, convincing him that I was a guest of the Excalibur, and being escorted
back to my room, we headed out to find Darkcactus. After roaming around for
awhile, we found him, and Pinguino and XBS left to go change clothes. Me and
Darkcactus did the same, then headed back to the Aladdin for day two of
DefCon.

When we got to the convention hall, we found Colleen Card and Sc0rp at
our table, selling PLA hats and tapes. I bought a hat and tape, then we were
forced to move our table into another convention room. Pinguino arrived after
a little while, and we all sat around. Colleen held a raffle for the last PLA
t-shirt on the planet, which XBS won. We also met B187, who we knew from
#rock.

At around 1:00, we were approached by a newspaper photographer from
the San Jose Mercury News. He wanted some pictures of us doing cool stuff, so
he agreed to take me, Pinguino, Impy, and Mr. YoYo trashing. We didn't get
much, but he got his pictures dammit. We got back to the con, and we were then
approached by the Voice of Mercury, a pirate radio station from New York (I
think), who were gonna be broadcasting in a few hours from the Aladdin. We
went to their hotel room and did a nifty interview.

After roaming around with Pinguino and Gersh for a long time, we wound
up outside the Aladdin again (with a bunch of other people too, I think), and
we were interviewed by a guy who was doing a documentary on cyberspace for TV.
Pinguino rambled on and on and on a lot, cuz she was pretty tired. Afterwards,
the four of us went to eat dinner, the me and Darkcactus went back to our
hotel room, and I slept. On the way back, we met a guy named Flex, who was
also in town for the con. He was pretty cool.

Day 3: Sunday, July 13th
------------------------
I overslept, and Darkcactus woke me up and told me to get ready or
else. We rushed off to the Aladdin once again, and got there at 12:30. When
we arrived at the con, we witnessed THE event of DefCon 5: the Happy Hacker
panel.

The Happy Hacker panel was a discussion panel regulated by Carolyn
Meinel (at least she THOUGHT she was gonna regulate it... heh heh heh). Its
purpose was to discuss whether newbies should have help handed to them, and so
on. There were several people on the panel, but the only two I can remember
are Carolyn and DisordeR.

Carolyn kept trying to tell us that we should ask for someone's
permission before hacking root on their machine ("excuse me, sir, can I hack
you?"), and that we should always ask stupid questions ("how do I hack
webpage?"). Dis ran the show, humiliating Carolyn several times and making
her look stupid no matter what she said. After daring her to give out her root
password in exchange for the root password to sekurity.org (Dis's domain), Dis
publicly challenged Carolyn to hack his system. As the panel went on, a copy
of "Secrets of a Super Hacker" was passed around the room and signed by
everyone. It was presented to Carolyn at the end of the panel.

After watching Dis make fun of Carolyn for 2 hours, we all had lunch
at the buffet. We went back to the con, and we were bored for the next several
hours, then we all started roaming around the Aladdin and taking lots and lots
of pictures. After saying bye to Colleen and Sc0rp, a bunch of us went
wandering around for a while... we rode on a roller coaster and made lots of
fraudulent phone calls, then later that night we went to room 308 (Mr. YoYo's
room) for a couple hours. Joker kept trying to order a stripper, but Mr. YoYo
decided that was just plain wrong, so we didn't get to order a stripper.

A bunch of us got bored, and we decided to go watch Men in Black.
Pinguino's car was scheduled to leave soon, so we said goodbye to her, as well
as XBS, Steagen, and Holy Cow, and made our way to the movie theater. After
watching Men in Black, we all ate at Denny's and met a really cool waitress
named Lenore. She was really nice, and let us take some pictures of her
holding one of our stolen security radios. Darkcactus, delirious from lack of
sleep, left her a $20 tip, and we went on our merry way.

We ran into Pinguino as we left Denny's. Her car was delayed till the
next day, so we all decided to go back to Mr. YoYo's room and waste more time
staring at the walls. We were stopped by a really dickfaced security guard on
our way in, who refused to let all 10 of us go to Mr. YoYo's room for some
reason. After making sure Mr. YoYo was a registered guest, the guard let Mr.
YoYo, Green Eyes, and Pinguino go to the room, while the rest of us waited on
the bottom floor and annoyed the security guard alot.

He called another security guard to escort us to Mr. YoYo's room so we
could "get our stuff that we left there" (i.e. sit around and talk to
everybody). This security guard turned out to be pretty cool, and he let us
take some pictures of him. We all got together for a few final group pics,
then me and Darkcactus said goodbye to everyone and went back to our hotel
room to sleep. Woohoo.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
DefCon 5 Review
by Darkcactus (darkcactus@hotmail.com)
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Ok all you shiny happy people, here's what Darkcactus did at DefCon 5.

Me and Logic Box got to Las Vegas Thursday after 10 hours and a couple
hundred miles on the road. We basically wandered around aimlessly for a while
before going to sleep. I will add right now that was the last time I slept for
the rest of DefCon.

Friday, lets see... When we got to the Aladdin, there was a long line
to get a pass. We stood there, and we waited, and waited, and finally we all
were let into the convention hall.

We eventually met up with Pinguino and Maq702 and some others at about
10:30 or 11:00. We set up our table for System Failure. I met some more random
people, including Gersh, Steagen, Holy Cow, CancerBoy(Swick), Fonephuk,
Bob/Adam Weishaupt and a whole array of others.

I'm sure you have either heard about this from people who were at
DefCon, orabout it wherever, but I am going to tell you about the "Carolyn
Sticker" incident.

Pinguino made up this sticker saying "Monitor port hacking is really
cool. Thanx Carolyn. -SysFail". Well, I took it upon myself to place the
sticker on her person. When she was engrossed in a random conversation with
some people, I walked up to her and placed it on her back. I would have placed
it on her ass, but I didn't want to touch her in that of all places. I walked
back to the SysFail table and just smiled. Everyone was suprised i could do it
with out her noticing. Some people start taking pictures, including me, and
everyone that notices has a laugh at her expense. Oh, Carolyn, if you are
reading this, How's it going sweetie baybie?!?!?

The rest of the day was pretty boring. I went into the woman's
bathroom with Pinguino, and she told a perplexed woman that I was her son and
that she needed to help me go pee. Oh yeah, when I was away from the booth for
a few minutes, I got into a conversation with a person that had just gotten to
Vegas. He still had his suitcase. He eventually left to go to his hotel, and
he told me to tell someone that he was pissed at him for something. Hey! It's
been a month, so sue me for not remembering either person's name or the
message I was supposed to convey. Oh well, better late then never, right?

That evening, I left to drop some stuff off at the hotel right at the
start of the TCP/IP drinking game. I was told later that I didn't miss
anything. When I got back,was the heated competition of Hacker Jeoprady that
was keeping everybody entertained. Well, at least all the people who were
drunk.

A bunch of us decided we were hungry, so me, Logic Box, Pinguino,
Fonephuk, Joker, Holy Cow, and CancerBoy (Swick) all went out for a late
dinner. We went to New York, New York. Damn that place is annoying. It is all
cluttered to make it look like New York and it is really easy to get lost in
that. We eventually ended up in the Luxor, and we caused utter havoc there,
from harassing the waiter and other customers to writing PHEAR on a dinner
roll to spilling hot water on my shirt (thanks Steagen). I even kept my menu.
I "absentmindedly" put it under my flannel. I later used that and a pickle
that Logic didn't eat to threaten people all the way back to the Excalibur,
where me and Logic were staying. I was shouting at the top of my lungs at
random people, "This is my pickle, and this is my shield! I will slay thee
now!" while holding the pickle as menacingly as possible and protecting myself
from whatever may attack with my menu. I dropped off the menu back at the
Excalibur. As for the pickle, Joker took a big bite, so I threw it into
oncoming traffic when we got outside.

After that, me, Logic Box, Pinguino, Fonephuk, and Joker met XBS, who
had just gotten to Vegas. We wandered around the Aladdin looking for parties.
Fonephuk left us to go back to his hotel, and the rest of us eventually ended
up at 7-11. We stayed there and babbled about nothing in particular. We headed
back to the Aladdin and I somehow got seperated from the others. I don't know
how, I just did. One minute they are right behind me, then I turn around, and
they are gone. Well, eventually found them, minus Joker, as they are walking
out. They didn't think it was at all curious that I wasn't with them for a
little while.

We went back to the Excalibur. We stayed up for a couple of hours and
talked about whatever came to mind. XBS was the first to doze off. Then
Pinguino fell asleep, and Logic dropped. I stayed up and wandered around for a
while. Tried to get on the roof, knocked on doors, took some Do Not Disturb
signs off doors, caused chaos with those white phones you can call rooms with.
It was 5 or so when I did this. "Hello, sir, this is your morning wake up
call." "I did not order a wake up call this early in the morning you damn
idiot." "I do not appreciate your rudeness sir, yes, you did order one for
this early." "Ok, what is my name and room number?" "Um... that isn't relevant
to this conversation, sir. I say your ordered one for this and this is when
you are waking up, so deal with it." *click*

I ended up in my hotel room. After a shower and a change of clothes, I
told the rest of the group I was gonna get something to eat. When I got back
to the elevators, they were waiting for me on the ground floor. Apparently, a
security found them after I left for breakfast. Lucky me, huh? We then went to
Broadway so they could eat breakfast and so that Pinguino and XBS could
change. Me and Logic left for the Aladdin without those two.

Pinguino and I had the idea to change an electrical sign to say
"SysFail Owns Vegas," or something to that effect. Well, I took it upon myself
to find out how. I heard from some people that the controls for the Monte
Carlo sign was on the roof of the hotel, so me and Bob/Adam Weishaupt did some
reconnaissance, but didn't get on the roof because we saw a sign on that said
something about the door setting off security alarms. So we went back to
DefCon. When we got back, a whole bunch of peopl were telling us how to get
into the system to change what the sign said. When we left, all of about 10
people knew what we were planning to do, and when we got back about 2 hours
later, about a quarter of the people there knew. We also heard some people who
attended previous DefCons that they went on the roof of the Monte Carlo
without security giving them problems.

Well, a little while after I got back from the Monte Carlo, I met
these radio people who do a show called "The Voice of Mercury" that wanted to
interview me and the rest of SysFail. So I brought them over to Pinguino and
we set up a time of 7:00 at the Broadway. Maybe it was 8:00, I can't remember.
During the interview, I said all of two things, "Darkcactus" when we were
doing a roll call, and "anarchy" when we were asked about aspects of the zine.
Oh well, at least I can say I was on the radio.

We were supposed to do a TV interview at 9:00 back at the Aladdin, but
I guess it fell through because we didn't see any camera crew by 10:00 or
11:00, so we left. While Adam and I were out at the Monte Carlo, Logic,
Pinguino, Impy, and Mr. YoYo went trashing with a photographer for the San
Jose Mercury. Well, we were supposed to go again that night, but that fell
through too.

It ended up with me, Gersh, Pinguino, and Logic going out to eat. We
ended up at the Monte Carlo. I wasn't that hungry and apparently Gersh doesn't
eat on a daily basis, so we only wanted something small, whereas Pinguino and
Logic were in the mood for something more to digest, so when we got to the
food court, me and Gersh went to get ice cream, and Pinguino and Logic went to
go get pizza. They were all out of frozen yogurt, so after ranting at them for
a couple seconds about hot chocolate frozen yogurt, I settled on vanilla,
which was what Gersh also had.

We sat around and slowly ingested our food while talking about nothing
in particular, and Logic got all bent out of shape about making a call. I
finally gave him the last cc # I had and told him to make the call short.
Well, thirty or so minutes later, he came back and just sat back down. When
Pinguino went to use the bathroom, I once again followed her in, but this time
I just waited inside the doorway.

While Logic was away, I told Gersh and Pinguino that we should go on
the roof. They too liked the idea. When Logic got back, we all went up to the
door to the roof, and I opened the door. No alarms, nothing. Pinguino and
Gersh stepped through, Logic started whining about needing sleep and how he
will probably fall off it because it was so dark. I found out later from
somebody that there is a retaining. So we went back to the 32nd floor and
opened the door to get back inside. Well, we saw a security guard at the far
end of the hall coming our way, so we ended up sprinting down 6 floors. We
opened the door on the 26th floor and went to the elevators after we made sure
there are no security guards around.

When we got outside of the Monte Carlo, we seperated from Pinguino and
Gersh. It was about 1:00am and we headed back to the Excalibur when we met
Flex. I don't know what compelled me to started talking to some random guy
walking near us, but I did anyways. He was someone from DefCon, but I didn't
know that so I started talking to him. He was headed to the Luxor. Logic
wanted to sleep in, so he slept until about 11:00, whereas I stayed up and
watched TV.

When we got to the Aladdin at 1:00pm, we didn't do much. I said bye to
Adam because he was leaving early, and I signed a book that was eventually
given to Carolyn Meinel. I wrote something like, "How did you like the
sticker on your back? --Darkcactus". Then we met up with Pinguino and Gersh
and we all watched DisordeR bash Carolyn during their panel discussion on
whether people who hacked should be given help in starting out, or whether
they should just have to fend for themselves. That was fun to watch. We had
lunch at about 4:00 or so in the buffet at the Aladdin. It was me, Maq702,
el_jefe, Lefty, Pinguino, Logic and some random person that went. When we were
getting our food, Gersh saw me and just walked in without paying. I don't
think he intended on eating, but he ended up eating a plate of fish crackers.

What happened until about midnight is sort of a blur. I remember
wandering around with Toilet Duk, Logic, Mr. YoYo, Lefty, Pinguino, Phreak of
Nature, Joker, and I think's all, but if I forgot anyone, I'm sorry. We ended
up at New York, New York and thought about whether we should ride the roller
coaster. It ended up being everyone but me and Toilet Duk going on it, so we
had a little fun while they were in line for an hour. We were tired and wanted
to sit down, so we just sat in stools at a stupid contest booth where you win
a piece of crap prize, but the attendant told us that the seats were for
paying customers only, so we harassed him for a few minutes. I had found a
ticket on the ground next to me, so I picked it up and handed it to the
attendant and said that I had proof of purchase, and that I was able to sit on
the stool, but he didn't buy it. Then I got a picture of Toilet Duk
"assaulting" a change machine (if you wanna call it that).

They finally came out and we went to the phones because Nature and
some others wanted to make calls. Pinguino went to the bathroom, so I of
course followed her, but this time, as we were leaving, a female security
guard came in. I just looked at her and smiled as I walked through the door. I
heard her say into her radio, "Some guy just left the ladies' restroom." I
didn't stay any longer than that, apparently she had called for backup, or
whatever, because we saw some more guards in the area as we were leaving.

We went back to Mr. YoYo's room in the Aladdin and hung out there for
a while. It was about 10:30 or 11:00pm and we basically messed around.
Everything from making a hole in the wall of the room to me being led around
by Pinguino with a leather belt like a dog on a leash to everyone throwing a
bunch of ice on me when I came back into the room for leaving for some
unapperant reason.

Nature had some liquor and was making fireballs by holding a lighter
to his alcohol and spitting it out. I decided, what the hell, might as well
give it a try. I took a small swig and innediately spit it at the wall. Damn
that stuff burned. After going to use the sink in the bathroom and getting a
drink of water, I tried again. I had the lighter to my mouth and I spit, but
somehow, I missed the flame that was in front me. The stuff went on the floor
and over my backpack and flannel. My backpack still smells of liquor.

We decided to go see Men in Black at at midnight at the movie theater
down the street, so me, Logic Toilet Duk, Phreak of Nature, Mr. YoYo, Green
Eyes, and Joker walked there. On the way there, guess who we met? Flex! So I
grabbed him and said, "You're coming with us. We're gonna see Men in Black."
So he came along too. The movie ruled. It had the coolest special effects.

After the movie, we went to Denny's to have a late dinner, or an early
breakfast, whatever you wanna call it. We got a waitress named Lenore. She was
cool. We got lots of cool pictures of her. I was hitting on her almost the
whole time. Hey, I hadn't slept in days and had stayed awake the whole time by
keeping myself full of caffeine, I think it's understandable why I tried to
hit on an attractive waitress. When we were paying our checks, Logic had no
money, as per usual, so I had to pay for him. All I had was 20s, so I gave her
a 20 and said keep the change. I basically gave her an $11 dollar tip. Someone
had a problem with their check, so me, being Mr. Nice Guy and all out of it
from lack of sleep, decided to pay for that check with another 20 dollar bill.
That was a tip of about $15 dollars. Lenore was more than happy to take my
money. As we are leaving, Pinguino mysteriously appeared at the door. I don't
know why she knew we were there, but oh well.

We headed back to the Aladdin to go back to YoYo's room, but were
stopped by some security guard. Pinguino, YoYo, and Green Eyes were allowed
in, because they had keys, but the rest of us had to be escorted in by another
security guard. As we were waiting for that guy, we harassed the guard that
stopped us. We asked stupid questions, and basically got him all pissed at us.
We were supposed to be in the room just a few minutes, but it ended up being
twenty minures or so. The security guard that was sent with us was all right,
for an old person. He was patient with us when we wanted to take pictures of
him and have him take pictures of the whole bunch of us. We finally left and
got back to our hotel room at about 5:30am, and we were leaving at 6:00, so we
just slept all the way home.

And that's what I did at DefCon. Some parts may seem farfetched, but I
assure you, none of it is made up. If you don't believe me, you can contact
anybody I mentioned to confirm what I said is true. You will have to find a
way to contact these people on your own, because I don't wanna make your life
easy. So there! Well, that's about all... bye, see ya, praise Allah, and all
that kind of jazz.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
DefCon 5 Review
by Pinguino (pinguino@connectnet.com)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Idlers and IRC kiddies alike meet once a year at a convention that
hotels have come to fear: DefCon. Where else might a girl be duct taped and
led around by an operator's headset? Only in Vegas, in 113 degree heat, where
the DefCon attendees come out at night and wreak havoc upon the strip. This
year's victim was the Aladdin hotel, who was tricked into letting the con
happen.

Shaedow, el_jefe, Wedz, and I left 303 on Wednesday in Shaedow's car,
caravanning with Pill, Demonika, Dox, and Wraith. Stopping first at Denny's
and 7-11 (JOLT!), we loaded up with an aerodynamic arsenal for the trip (phear
the peanuts scattered in Pill's car). Nothing really interesting happened on
the way there. We stopped in Utah to look at the sky.. it was incredible. You
have never seen so many stars. There was no moon, and the Milky Way streaked
boldy across the sky, smattered with shooting stars every other minute.

Thursday morning we stumbled into the Boardwalk hotel. Wedz checked in
and we tried to sleep. After a 30-minute gigglefest, I left to explore the
area and attempted to call a buncha people to find Logic Box and Darkcactus. I
wanted the System Failure crew to get together before DefCon. A few hours
later I wandered upstairs and slept for like 2 hours.

We then went on a pizza hunt and ended up in the Monte Carlo food
court. We met Maq702 and Sc0rp there.. Maq702 seriously looks like el_jefe.
It's weird and cool and stuff. We beat up Sc0rp and he liked it, and then I
got yelled at by an attendant at a gas station for flinging water at people.

Our next stop was the Aladdin. I met a goth guy named Bret who seemed
really cool, and searched for Logic Box and Darkcactus again. EightBall ran
into us there. Me and el_jefe went to page them on the intercom, but to no
avail. Then, we looked for our crew and figured out that we were lost. Not a
good feeling, but since we were "arrRRrrr"ing all day, we decided to trek down
to Treasure Island.

The 303 crew was there gambling. Sc0rp gave me money to gamble with,
so if I turn into a compulsive gambler at age 21, it's all his fault. ;) We
found a place called Captain Morgan's lounge, and el_jefe made someone walk
the Plank. Arrr~!@#

We went back to the Monte Carlo for fewd, and me and EightBall went to
the 26th floor. Remember how easy it was to break into the maid's room last
year? They installed card key locks on all doors leading in. Grrr. Me and 8
snagged a dining tablecloth instead from a cart in the hall. I really needed
a sheet to use as a backdrop for the booth, and the tablecloth was smaller and
worked a lot better. The food stains on it weren't even noticeable a day
later. ;)

Maq702 took me, Sc0rp, and EightBall to his house. I proceeded to
smear glowing alien spew across my arms and then we fell asleep (4:30am) only
to awaken at 9:45 to get to DefCon for setup.

It was Friday and DefCon was in chaos. Our tables weren't even there.
We waited forever for that, then set up. I was given books to sell from a
friend, and those went immediatly (1/2 off the cover price). Logic Box and
Darkcactus were there, then my friends from DefCon IV showed up; Steagen and
Holy Cow. Teklord wandered in with Plucky, and tons of people dropped by:
AcidJazz, The Dawg, people from mtn-raves, D1s, Rage, Gersh, The Public, Zens,
Skinflower, Lefty, Knarf, AychBee.. it totally ruled. The scavenger hunt
started.

The scavenger hunt was a System Failure thing. I wanted me and Maq702
to make novelty and fake IDs, but nobody would lend me a color quickcam or
digicam. In desperation, I thought of a game so we wouldn't be bored. I made
a list of a ton of weird stuff that people could get usually by trashing or
networking, and some of the wall filler items. Each item was assigned a # of
points and your group of 5 or less needed 100 points to win. People were going
for the weird stuff, like the 60-point security camera, or the 20-point live
duck. The guy who won the contest, Toilet Duk, actually counted as a live
duck. He won that same night. TDYC entered and ripped out their hotel room
wall to get free long distance. ;) They brought me up to another room and
showed me a bathtub with shit in it.. I was like "Umm.. okay, gross, what is
that?" Then they pulled the curtain back and "quack" there was a duckling.
They won second place (you might want to think of it as 1st place of the
second game). BTW, System Failure will be at CuervoCon, with a new contest and
a new item list. ;)

I met Carolyn Meinel from the Happy Hacker mailing list and pointed
her out to my crew. A few days before, I had a sticker made that said `"Thanks
for the Monitor Port Hacking Info Carolyn" -SysFail' with wishes to put it on
her car. Darkcactus grabs it, flys by her and slaps it on her back. She
doesn't notice. AychBee nabs my camera and takes pictures of her back, and
other people start doing the same. She didn't notice for like 3 hours. heheh
=)

At 3pm, I had a business lunch scheduled with uix.com (Centronix). We
went to the Round Table Buffet at the Excalibur.. awesome fewd. Check them out
next year. Anyways, it was me, Centronix, Teeleton, and another guy (a DJ but
I can't remember his name right now but he was cool). We talked about like
raves and stuff, contract graphic work, Xcon news, and I learned about some
busts that happened to 817 to some of mrmadness's friends.

We watched some of the TCP/IP drinking game, and I got bored with
shining a laser pointer all over the place. By this time I'd met Green Eyes,
Mr. YoYo, XBS, and Impy. We decided to throw a mini-rave in Green Eyes' room,
#308. Our table had some music and a CD player that Darkcactus had brought. We
invited everyone and left. Around this time, AychBee gives me the key to the
TDYC suite as part of the scavenger hunt. Me and Lefty go to the Aladdin to
get showered and stuff, and played with ham radios. We made obnoxious
screeching noises at people and confused them.

Me, Logic Box, Darkcactus, and XBS wandered around for a while hitting
various parties. 30 minutes before our party was gonna start, I really felt
like getting a Dr. Pepper. We hiked to 7-11 and ended up kicking it there for
a really long time cuz we were tired and my feet were all beat up. We cruised
by the Aladdin and someone told us about a party going on in room 308 so we're
like, "Hey that's our party." We went in and a few minutes later so did Mr.
Sekurity Guard. Impy was going outta his mind trying to get people to quiet
down, but the room was mainly 30 drunk hackers so that was pointless. The
System Failure crew left and went to the Excalibur. We went to Logic's floor
and drank sodas all night, and put ice on our feet. We snagged cushions from
the chairs and talked about Penguin Palace and System Failure all night.
Somehow we fell asleep, and a security guard found us. We got escorted to
Logic's room and followed to the entryway elevators. Deciding it was a good
time to leave, we walked down to the Boardwalk for breakfast. It was like 7am.
We called OCI (1-800-288-2880) and harassed them for 30 minutes.

Me and XBS went upstairs to shower, and then we traded clothes. We
ended up at DefCon and met Colleen. Since we were outta material and were
waiting on stuff from Gersh (who slept all day), Colleen got to sell PLA hats
and tapes. She held a raffle for a shirt she brought, which XBS won. This time
our table was moved to a smaller room.

Saturday was cool because System Failure got a lot of publicity. There
was a photographer from San Jose Mercury News who wanted pictures of people
doing stuff for the scavenger hunt (Toilet Duk had won the day before), so he
took me, Logic Box, Impy, and Mr. YoYo trashing at Lucent. We got into a truck
and stole a trash bag outta there, and found some k0des, cabling, invoices,
and other stuff. A big group of us went to eat at the Luxor, then we came back
and me, Logic, and Cactus got interviewed by the Voice of Mercury.

The Voice of Mercury is a pirate radio station from Long Beach.
They're highly involved with the California Car Caravan and broadcasted at
DefCon. The interview went smoothly, despite my exhaustion. We got interviewed
by some guy putting together a documentary on cyberculture and hacking, but by
then I was completely wasted and just rambled incoherently.

I couldn't find anyone from 303, and I was exhausted, so me and Gersh
went with Logic and Cactus to eat at the Monte Carlo. We wanted to sleep on
the roof, or at least chill there, but right after we made it up and checked
the entrance to the roof, we saw a security guard coming. We RAN down 5
flights of stairs and got outta that hotel real fast. Logic and Cactus parted
our company and Gersh and I went to the Boardwalk. I figured someone would
prolly stop by the hotel room for something, so we sat down on the floor and
waited. Unfortunatly we fell asleep and a security guard woke us. I had meant
to wait 15 minutes and then knock on Lefty's door, but it was too late for
that. The guard told us not to come back, and then like 2 other guards
followed us out all the way to the street.

We walked to the Aladdin and nobody was in room 308 or the TDYC room.
I walked by room 206 and Zero and Bret recognized me. I got invited in and
Zero gave me his room key and said I could sleep there. We started talking
about comics, then XBS and Mr. YoYo came and got me. We went to a quiet-room
party in room 323 where they had drug-ABC going (name drugs from every letter
of the alphabet). Mr. YoYo did my nails (green with sparkles) which was really
cool of him. We wandered to room 308 and I fell asleep on Impy while getting
a foot and face massage.

Sunday I woke up and Gersh was next to me (scared me, cuz I thought
Impy was sleeping there). It was 1:30 so we dashed downstairs to hear the
Happy Hacker panel. If there was any reason to pay to get into DefCon, it
would be to hear this panel. It was about newbies, and if they should be
taught or be left to fend for themselves. Even though other people were there,
it was mainly D1s vs Carolyn, the person who runs the Happy Hacker mailing
list.

Carolyn is dumb. She has some weird concepts, like you should ask
someone first if you're gonna hack them to learn new systems, and she's the
one that says you can hack a monitor port (found out later she meant shoulder
surfing). She thinks she's such a cool hacker or something.

DisordeR (D1s) is from 303, so EVERYONE from 303 was there supporting
them and laughing at Carolyn. His zine is Fucked Up College Kids (FUCK). He
runs sekurity.org and has a lot of respect in the scene. He pretty much took
over the panel.

El_jefe and Zens started asking her questions and getting her riled
up, then The Public stands up and totally goes off on her about something. It
was really entertaining. D1s told Carolyn that if she gave him her root
password, he would give her the one to sekurity. Rage-303 did NOT look happy
about that one. She gave us the pwd, "photon," which is to her personal home
computer not on the net. (She has www.shellonly.com). D1s is making her a
mail account on sekurity.org and dared her to hack him and edit his
i.hacked.sekurity.org. and add her name to it. At the end, Shaedow presented
her with a gift from everyone, a signed copy of "Secrets of a Superhacker." It
was a copy that D1s underlined a bunch of stuff in, and everyone in 303 and
in the room got to sign. I was the second person to sign it (the picture of
the Grand Nigger thanking her for Monitor Port Hacking Infoz, and the silver
sig of Pinguino on the back). Her daughter Val was given "Computer Security
for Dummies."

After the panel, we cleared out the booth and went to dinner at the
Aladdin buffet. Lefty wanted to know if he could leave and come back real
quick, and the waiter said "Gimmie 20 pushups and you can." Lefty held up his
arm and the waiter was like, "Oh, alright, 10." This was also the same time
that Gersh paid $7 for a plate of goldfish crackers. Um okay.

We wandered around and said our goodbyes, and took a lot of photos.
We then headed over to the New York, New York. I went on the rollercoaster
with Lefty, and Darkcactus went into the girls' bathroom with me, then we
headed back to the Boardwalk. Apparently The Public and Nekid Amy left without
Zens and Skinflower, so that confused a buncha people.

We went back to the Aladdin and said goodbye to Lefty, then chilled in
308. There was an ice-fight and Cactus stuck ice down the front of his pants
(umm you worry us sometimes), then wanted to strip for us while wearing his
belt around his neck. Everyone then went to see MIB and I checked back over at
the Boardwalk.

I found out that my car wasn't leaving til noon, so I went to hunt for
Mr. YoYo and some other people. I found them at Denny's as I was walking past,
so we went back to 308. On the way the security guard stopped us and would
only let me, Green Eyes, and Mr. YoYo into the hotel (we had a pack of like
10 people, as usual). We went to sleep right away and got up at 11:30. I
stumbled to the Boardwalk and we went to Denny's for a few hours.

We drove back to Colorado, stopping in Beaver, Utah. We also saw a
sign for Penguitch, Utah. A billboard had a big snake and "Pornography is just
as deadly." This inspired a wish to put a billboard up behind it with a naked
chick and "Snakes are just as deadly" and to fly over the Mormon church with a
buncha Vegas p0rn. To top that off, we saw a sign that said Brian Head. It was
for a resort. Shaedow wanted to write "give" over it and watch for a line of
people at the border with shirts that said "Hi, My name is.." ;) As we were
leaving Vegas, here's a quote from el_jefe: "If a bag of ice asked me to marry
it, I'd say yes."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
DefCon 5 Review
by Colleen Card (colleencard@kracked.com)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I really don't know if DefCon itself was any good but Las Vegas was
pretty cool. There was more boobs in that city than in all of AOL! I spent
most of my time being a tourist and doing very touristy things with Sc0rp who
was very gentlemenly and opened all the doors for me and lugged my 30 pound
PLA back pack with him. Sc0rp didn't want to do touristy things, but he didn't
have a choice because I 0wn him.

During the first day I was was met by Maq702 & Sc0rp at the airport.
Maq drove us around for a little while and we needed to wear our seat belts
because I thought we were going to die. I guess they don't make you take tests
to get your driver's license in Nevada.

That evening for dinner, Sc0rp & I went out to Chineese food which was
very yummy but they gave us too much food. So we had them put the extra food
into containers which we brought back to the hotel for Maq702 & El_jefe. Too
bad nobody ever showed el_jefe how to eat because he spilled sweet & sour pork
all over the front of his shirt. So for the rest of the evening he was taunted
by drunken DefCon people asking what the hell he did to his shirt which made
him pretty mad.

On Saturday I got up early, took over System Failure's table since
Pinguino wasn't there yet, and sold almost all of the PLA merchandise I had
brought with me. I then raffled off the shirt that I'd promised to give to
IAmOne in Chicago. Too bad he forgot to meet me at the airport.

After that Sc0rp and I went to see a movie and left Logic Box in
charge of my goods, too bad he left also and our my absence Mr. YoYo decided
to take money from me. Only problem is he also forgot to tell me he took it
but at least the movie was cool.

During the brief time I'd spent at DefCon so far, I'd been trying to
track down the elusive Major (CoTNo) who owed us a DefCon 4 t-shirt that we'd
arranged to trade him for a PLA t-shirt over a year ago. I did find him later
that evening at the bar two seats away from the legendary t-shirt salesman,
erikb himself! Major had to tell el_jefe to shut the hell up because he kept
saying, "G-G-G-G-G-Gogggggganzzzz..." But no t-shirt from major, dammit.

Sunday finished raffling off the very last PLA shirt in existance
which was won by XBS who only entered the raffle one time as opposed to Logic
Box's 200 entries. (I'm exaggerating.) During raffle time I was also joined by
Agent Zero, Grifter and some other guys. I don't know who they were but they
were pretty cute so I let them stay.

I took off at noon after giving Dark Tangent a PLA hat and did even
more touristy stuff. During the day, I called home to RBCP to laugh at him for
being stuck at the house with Emily all weekend. I met alot of neat people who
I still don't know who the hell they are like Lefty, Cancerboy, Darkcactus,
AdamW, Fonephuck and some guy with a third eye in his forehead. I also met the
cool B187 (from V_P) who stole the door off of a GTE van but I already knew
him from IRC.

All in all I had a great time because Dark Tangent ruled so much and I
cried on the airplane because I never got to ask erikb about his LOD-MOD
t-shirts and I didn't get my picture taken with him.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
No Hope Con Review
by Pinguino (pinguino@connectnet.com)
Alatar (alatar@leper.org)
P3nny (lamer@tacd.com)
Polymorf (polymorf@hotmail.com)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"In the woods, no one can hear you scream..." -P3nny
..xXx..
Darkness engulfed our senses as we stood in the moist chilled air.
Sparks flew past our eyes as Pill sparked a lighter for his cigarette. A
flashlight bopped around in the corner of our eyes. We froze, then screamed,
"Ka0!!! We're saved!!!~@#"

No Hope Con was definitely an experience unlike any other convention.
Booze, caves, booze, hackers, booze, no computers, booze, fire, booze, guns,
booze, naked chicks, booze, out of town hackers, booze, and the Captain were
all involved. So were the cops, innocent christian 11-year old girls, mooning
ministers, and bombs. Can DefCon really compare?? And what about all these
reports that HOPE was totally and completely boring? People went halfway
across the country to some crappy con when they coulda waited a week later and
chilled in 303 (Denver, CO) to have an experience they would live with forever
(when they see scars across their arms and legs).

Pinguino, Polymorf, Gersh, Alatar, and Nate (also known as "the
hippie") all rode up a day later (after the guns and bombs took place). We
were cruising on I70 when we saw two white buses. We first thought, "Werd,
it's a few short buses full of people just like us." It turned out to be a
youth group van full of small girls who we all decided to corrupt with our
gang signs, middle fingers, tongues, and asses. Actually there was one little
boy in the girl's van, so he must've been a fag or something. Poly jumped over
everyone in the back seat and mooned the van. I'm sure these kids are all
gonna go home and try to find elite Poly pr0n now cuz they got to glimpse some
skin.

Then, we got to the campsite. We didn't really get lost; Alatar was
reading the map upside-down. Hey Ka0, thanks for the directions. I heard
Apok's car died cuz of them not being able to find the campground in time,
plus P3nny, Apok, and $400 worth of booze were all at stake. What's up with
that?

Firewood was called for, so we started up a new sport called Log
Hacking. Poly had problems chopping, then he pretended the logs were Z3ns and
then there was just sawdust all over the place. Oh yeah, the main concept of
No Hope Con was to make us get away from the computer all weekend, so we
couldn't bring any tech-related stuff with us, or really talk about computers,
TV, toasters, or hacking. This was violated a few times.

Gersh Tossing was another pre-planned event that happened. It was so
popular that there was a party here last night and we tossed people all over
the place. Shaedow and Apok did the tossing at No Hope, and Gersh flew into a
small creek with a buncha rocks in it. He prolly still has a purple knee from
hitting rocks. Apok let Gersh piggy back ride up to the campsite after the
tossing.

Next, there was Wetback Riding. P3nny actually picked up Apok and
carried him on his back across the campsite. Everyone was shocked into silence
for a while from that.

Sack the Mac was out cuz we didn't break into orci.com to get Gersh's
mac, so the next event was "Beat Ruth." Since Gersh was tossed, he was
supposed to beat Ruth, but he declined. Like 6 people all jumped Ruth, who was
screaming, "Not the Face, Not the Face!!@$"

As the sun went down, so did Pill's chair when el_jefe sat on it. Apok
took the cue to redesign Vampy and Maq's cooler with his ass. Food was cooked
and booze was drunk, then 14 people decided to drive to the cave. Most of
these people were drunk. Pinguino, Alatar, P3nny, Polymorf, Rage, D1s, Ka0,
Pill, Shaedow, Wedz, Nate, el_jefe, Ruth, and Maq702 all walked two miles
straight up a mountain to the cave entrance. About eight people actually made
it inside the cave. Ka0, Pill, Pinguino, Alatar, Rage, Poly, Ruth, and P3nny
went inside the cave to explore.

When you think cave, you usually think of some dry hole in the side of
a mountain with some bones and indian paintings. This cave had a long, metal,
super-narrow tunnel about 40 feet down, with a slippery ladder. Next, you had
to hold onto a rope and slide another 40 feet to the rocky landscape below.
Flashlights started dying at that point (we weren't smart enough to bring
extra batteries on the hike; they were in the cars). We hiked through the
ledges and tight crevices of the slimy finger numbing caverns, then halted at
a natural mineral waterfall.

Drinking the water was unforgettable. It was the coldest, best-tasting
water ever imaginable. Pill and Pinguino had their feet in it while everyone
but Ruth turned back to the entrance. Ka0 and Rage had to lead.

In that time span, they nearly drove themselves insane by singing
every obnoxious song known to man. Lights started flashing both from above and
below, increasing the intensity of the experience. Ka0 and Rage came through
and we took a different route back.

We prolly scared a second group of cave explorers as we slipped and
slid in the near darkness. We went every other person with a light, since most
of the flashlights went dead. At one point there was a section of rock where
it was just easier to slide down mud to reach the bottom. Did I mention that
Pinguino was wearing a completely white Jedi-looking karate outfit through
the caves? It was a scary-looking grey after that slide.

We met up with Alatar and climbed back up the tubing. The hike down
the mountain wasn't that bad, since it was almost all downhill. We had to stop
and look at the landscape, which was intensly luminated by the full moon.
Imagine a valley, green with pines and shrubbery, highlighted by a dull yellow
tint exposing every leaf.. you can't really record moments like that with
cameras.

The caving experience was the best part of the con.. especially the
stop halfway down the mountain. That's what made it worth however many miles
you drove to get there.

After caving, there was more booze and marshmallows and other stuff,
then one by one people passed out. It started raining; poor TP (The Public)
was sleeping outside by the fire in a sleeping bag..

In the morning, Pinguino and Alatar decided to sacrifice her karate
uniform to Eris (see the Book of Ruth). Flames lept towards the sky as the
uniform crumbled into flying ash. Lights flashed, and the cops surrounded the
campfire, asking about gunfire. "Guns? We shot some cans with a BB gun, that's
all, officer.." 90% of the crew was fully armed. The cops told us to clean the
place up, so we did, filling two hefty bags with bottles and melted
marshmallow chunks.

Don't miss the next No Hope Con! Everyone who comes will move to 303
and be assimilated! It happened to Alatar, Polymorf, Maq702, and Vamprella;
just ask them.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Nature of Magnetic Strips
by Toilet Duk (mongoose@wired2.net)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Most metropolitan areas have some form of rapid transit, usually a
rail system or subway-type system. Some of them use paper or cardboard
tickets, with cheap magnetic strips on them. If it's a good system, the
magnetic strip data will be coded redundantly, vertically. So, if the contents
of the card were "2.45" then the card would be encoded like:

,'````````````',
| 22222|
| .....|
| 44444|
| 55555|
| 00000|
| 00000|
| 00000|
`,............,'

So if you sliced the magnetic strip down the center, you could have
two strips that were both worth $2.45 because of the redundancy in the
encoding. This method only works to duplicate one strip, but certain public
transport systems contain the required mechanisms to add fare to a cut ticket,
and issue a new ticket, which can then be duplicated using the previously
described method.

Using this technique you can travel anywhere locally for little or no
money. Of course, if you wanna shell out the extra bucks, you can get a
magnetic strip encoder/decoder and just make them by the dozen, but this
method requires no overhead. And besides, it's more fun this way. :)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Department Store Phones
by RedBoxChiliPepper (bac@bright.net)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Department Store Phones. They're everywhere. Well, okay, not everywhere but
they're in department stores like K-Mart, Target, Venture, Wal-Mart, Fred
Meyers and they're even popping up in grocery stores now. These phones can
provide an individual with hours upon hours of good clean-cut entertainment
and the only draw back is that in the end it usually ends up making alot of
other people extremely miserable. This shouldn't concern you, though.

Choosing Your Phone:
-------------------
The phone you choose should be in the most secluded place in the store you
can possibly find. Preferably in an isle that very few store employees go to
and a phone that doesn't have a security dome on the ceiling staring down at
you.

In some stores, such as Target, they encourage their guests to use the
courtesy phones so you don't even have to hide yourself so well. Alot of
employees that see some kid using one of their phones will think nothing of
it but other employees like to pretend that they're important and will ask
you what the hell you're doing to which you should reply with a swift kick
in thier groin.

Free Calls:
----------
Of course you can almost always get free phone calls from these phones. In
most cases you merely have to punch "9" to get an outside dial tone and from
there you can place local calls and 800 toll-free calls. Sometimes you have to
dial "0" and ask the store's operator to give you an outside line or dial an
outside number. If they ask who you are, just say you're the new guy.

At most stores, the operators will connect you with their store in another
state if you have a need to talk to them. Let's say you want to call the
DefCon Voice Bridge in Utah. All you have to do is ask the store operator to
connect you to a ficticious city in Utah.

YOU: Yes, I need to be connected to the Wal-Mart in ChiliPepper, Utah.
HER: Okay, and who am I speaking with?
YOU: My name's Chris. The employee here in sporting goods said I could have
you call this store because I need to talk to them about delivering an
item to that store for my parent's birthday.
HER: Okay...Hmmm, I don't see a ChiliPepper, Utah listed here in my
directory. Are you sure we have a store there?
YOU: Yeah, positive, I used to work there. Actually, I know the phone number
there. Want it?
HER: Sure.
YOU: Okay, it's 801-855-3326.
HER: I'll go ahead and write that in here. Hold on and I'll connect you.

The protection against long distance calls on these phones suck. The store
owners try to instruct their phones to disallow all customer accessable phones
from dialing anything that will cost, but unfortuantely for the store owners,
they don't read underground publications.

Most of your average store owners have never heard of an AT&T Alliance
Teleconference. When you get an outside dialtone, just dial 0-700-456-1002,
enter in the size of your "conference" and then dial the first number you'd
like to have on your conference. Then hit "#" a couple times to talk to
whoever you just called. You can dial any number in the world through
Alliance. If you want to be really brave, start an actual teleconference from
the store and stay on for a few hours.

You can also sometimes dial long distance by dialing "9" then "0" and asking
the Bell operator to give you AT&T and ask AT&T to call the Netherlands for
you. Also, on some phones, the LD protection is actually in the phone you're
using, meaning you can bypass it just by using a Radio Shack tone dialer.

Employee Pagers:
---------------
In some stores, the employees will carry a beeper or a walkie talkie around
with them. I've seen them wearing beepers at both Target and Fred Meyers and
at Target, you can use any of the red store phones to talk to an employee on
one of these beepers. The employee will hear a beeping noise, then your
voice will come out of the beeper very loudly.

At Target, all you had to dial was "4" and then the three digit beeper
number. After that, you'd hear a steady tone, then silence where you'd leave
your 10 second message to them. To find out the employee's beeper number, you
can either ask the employee or ask the operator OR try to look at the
employee's beeper. With a little imagination, you can have alot of fun sending
obscene messages to everyones' beepers to the horror of nearby customers.

All-Store Paging:
----------------
In most stores, the "all store page" button is marked clearly on the phone
because store managers know that nobody in their right mind would pick up a
store phone and say anything rude for the whole store to hear. Or would they?
This is actually a useful thing to know because if you're with a friend and
you get separated, you just pick up a store phone, hit "PAGE" and say,
"Attention K-Mart Shoppers, would Chris Tomkinson please return to infants."

Anyway, here's a few announcements you might wanna make once you've figured
out how to get on the intercom. You shouldn't do more than a few each day
because after awhile, they're going to come looking for you. Always be as rude
and obnoxious as possible when doing this and try to offend as many people as
you can.

"Attention K-Mart shoppers! HA! I always wanted to say that!"
"Customer service to anal lubrications..." (repeat a few times...)
"Pop quiz asshole...A local Wal-Mart with approximately 85 shoppers and 21
employees has armed the building. If the amount of people in the building
drops below 100,the building will go off. What do you do? What. Do. You. DO?"
"Attention K-Mart shoppers - we have a blue light special in the women's
clothing. Everything in women's clothing is 95% off!"
"(hushed voice) Just listen to me, Joel, when you turn on the store's music,
you turn on this subliminal advertising machine that will trick all the
shoppers into buying into our rip-off sales. Now I'm the manager and you
need to- shit! You left the goddamned intercom on again! ...(click)"

All-Store Paging From Home:
--------------------------
Some systems will allow you to phone the store from your home and ask the
operator or an employee to transfer you to the all-store page or just an
extension that is the all-store page and they don't realize what they've
done until it's too late. This used to be most common at Fred Meyer but for
some reason they've began closing that little loophole. But see if you can
figure out a way to be transferred to the all-store paging from your home.
It's been done many times before...

Answering Calls:
---------------
This is one of the funnest and least-riskiest pranks to pull on a store. Find
a phone and look at the display. If it's a modern store phone, you'll see a
row of about five buttons, each numbered and each having a light over it.
These are the store's separate lines. If the light is on, that line is in use
and if the light is steadily blinking, that line is on hold. If the light
blinks rapidly for 2 seconds at a time, that line is ringing.

Pick up the phone and press a button of either a call on hold or a line that's
ringing. If you've picked up a ringing line, answer with the store's greeting
such as "Thank you for calling Fred Meyer, how can I help you? .... You want
the hardware department? Well, this is hardware..." And if you've picked up
a line on hold, just say, "Who are you holding for? Oh toys? This is toys..."

If the phone doesn't have any fancy modern lights & buttons on it, you'll have
to learn how to answer a line. At Target, you'd pick up the phone and dial
either "35" or "36." At other stores, you'd simply dial "1" or "2" and at
other stores, you have to dial a three or four digit code. If all else fails,
call up the store operator and ask how to pick up a line. You can also listen
to the overhead paging. When you hear the store operator say, "Housewares,
you have a call on 173..." run over to a phone and dial 173. Here are a few
examples of some of the fun we've had answering calls in the past few years:

ME: Who are you holding for?
XX: Electronics.
ME: Oh, that's me. What do you need?
XX: I just need to see if my film is ready. The last name is-
ME: Uh, listen, I'm really swamped back here right now so you're just going
to have to wait. Can I put you on hold for about 20 minutes?
XX: Welllll, I could just call back I suppose.
ME: (acting pissed) Well, you don't have to be a fucking smartass about it.
All I said was that I'm in the middle of playing Super Mario Karts and
I don't have time to walk across the fucking counter and check on your
film so just deal with it, you stupid bitch. Okay? (slam down the phone.)

An interesting phenomenon here is that as soon as you hang up, about two
seconds later another line will light up... Weird. So you pick up the phone.

ME: (in a different voice) K-Mart, this is Big Bob.
XX: (very irritated) Yes, I just called Electronics at your store there and
the boy who answered the phone was extrememly rude to me and I'd like to
talk to the manager there.
ME: Well, I'm Bob the assistant manager. The real manager is asleep right now.
Would you like me to go to his office and wake him up?
XX: Well, I think somebody needs to talk to the person in electronics. I asked
if my film was there and he started screaming at me and using foul
language.
ME: Ma'am, that's just the way our employees are. In order to cut down on
stress in the workplace, we encourage them to releive their frustrations
on the customers. If you don't like it, you can take your fucking film
somewhere else. (slam)

The trick is never to let them have the last word. You'd probably have a good
laugh now by going to the Service Desk or operator's desk (aka fitting rooms)
and listening to her call back and yell at the operator for a bit.

ME: Thanks for calling Wal-Mart, how can I help you?
XX: I need the toy department.
ME: Hold on... (different voice) ...Toys.
XX: Do you guys carry the new Christmas Barbie?
ME: Which one? There's two of them. One of them she's got a Christmas wreath
stuck up her butt and the other one she's holding a penis in one hand and
a whip in the other hand. Anyway, yeah, we got 'em both but they're going
quick. They're both $17.99 apiece.
XX: Uhhhh...
ME: Would you like me to hold one for you? I can take your name and hold it
for 24 hours.
XX: (click)
ME: How rude...

ME: Hardware, how can I help you?
XX: I need the housewares department.
ME: Well, you got hardware. So how can I help you?
XX: Well, I doubt that you can help me because I asked for housewares.
ME: WELL, obviously the lady at the service desk is hard of hearing because
you've been transferred to the hardware department so how can I help you?
XX: ...Okay. I need to know if you have any of those blenders left that were
advertised in Sunday's paper.
ME: How the hell should I know anything about blenders. You've got hardware
here.
XX: Could you please transfer me to housewares?
ME: No, I can't. Maybe instead of a blender you'd like to buy a nice circular
saw or some acrylic paint.

ME: Garden Center.
XX: Yes, do you have any of tho-
ME: No, we don't.
XX: You didn't let me fini-
ME: (click)

Secret Departments:
------------------
If you have the time, you can sit at a store's phone and manually scan for
other "departments" that aren't listed on the phone or even known to most
employees and managers. In the past, I've found the extensions to different
phones in store rooms and offices around the store, I've been magically
transferred to other offices in different states (speed dial?) and I've gotten
lots of weird sounding noises and computer carriers and fax tones. I've also
been thrown out of alot of stores.

Figure out what the extensions are for most of the departments in the store.
Most stores have them written on the phone or next to the phone. If not, just
call the operator and ask for the extensions. Using all the extensions you've
gathered as sort of a template, start making up similar extensions and see
what you can find. Then start dialing totally random numbers and see what you
get. Continue to do this until you see an angry store manager standing behind
you.

In some stores, the operator will notice that the phone you're using keeps
going on and off. This will either make her suspicious or drive her crazy and
in both cases, she'll send someone over to investigate. Really, though, the
worst thing that could happen is that you'll get kicked out of the store. Oh
darn. But even that's pretty unlikely. Just tell them you were trying to
figure out how to get some help in that department, then ask if they have any
Tickle Me Elmo dolls left.

LRT Guns:
--------
Okay, so this is totally unrelated to courtesy phones, but this is still a
cool way to spend an evening in a store after you've been kicked off all of
the phones. Sometimes you'll see employees running around with little lazer
guns with a 5x20 display and a keyboard. Usually they'll set these down while
they go to help a customer which is when you snatch it up and run off to a
different department with it. The employees use these guns to

* Scan UPC bar codes which gives them a product
description and price
* Inventory items on the shelves and maintain a
list of items to be taken out from the storeroom
* Print price labels to stick on the shelves.
* Do credit checks on instant credit applications.
(only the service desk usually knows how to do this)

At Target, they have a "gift list" program where you come into the store and
take one of these LRT guns around the store and scan the bar codes of things
you want for your wedding or baby shower. When you're doing this, the LRT is
in a different mode, but it can be reset to normal mode by resetting the gun.
This is usually done by holding down the "FUNCTION" key while pressing
"ENTER." When you take one of thse guns, they want you to leave a driver's
license as collateral. You could easily give them someone else's driver's
license and walk out of the store with their LRT. It probably wouldn't work
too far from the store, though, since it's controlled by the store's computer.

If you borrow an LRT from an employee, just get far away from them, then
either take the gun into the bathroom and play with it, or set it on a shelf
by alot of other stuff so you can type on it without looking too conspicuous.
If a little kid stands next to you to see what you're doing, growl at them.

While in normal operation mode, you can actually get a DOS prompt on these
things by pressing CONTROL-C. I've only been able to play around on the D:
drive, making directories, deleting directories and stashing dumb text files
all over for them to find. Even though it seems to accept all normal DOS
commands, I never could figure out where the ":" key was. Since the keyboard
is compact, each key has several different characters on it, depending whether
you press a "control" or "function" or "shift" along with it. I tried every
possible combination and couldn't find the : key which is what I needed to
get to the C: drive. You cannot surf the web on these terminals. Oh darn.

If you just want to feel cool and go around scanning bar codes, from the >
prompt type "UPC" and ENTER. While in this mode, if an employee approaches
you and says, "Hey, give me back my thingie." you can point the lazer at them
and blind them for life. (Well, not really but it sure pisses them off.) The
only other command I can think of is "DPCI" which isn't very interesting. A
bit of playing around with their menu should yeild some interesting results.

K-Mart is the store who used one of these guns to do an instant credit check
on me. She entered in all the information from my application into the gun
which took about 3 hours at her speedy 13 WPM. The result is not an entire
credit report flashing across the screen, but simply a "approved" or
"denied" answer. (In my case, "denied.")

Do You Work Here?:
-----------------
Ever walk into a K-Mart and accidentally wear a pinstripe shirt and a red vest
with ivory pants and light colored shoes only to find every other customer
asking, "Do you work here?" Well, uh, neither have I. I would never wear my
red vest with my ivory pants. That's tackey. But it can be alot of fun to
dress very similar to employees and go around answering dumb questions for the
customers. You can even slap on your McDonald's name badge and the customer
will never notice the difference.

It's best to do this on a really busy day because the understaffed employees
won't even notice an imposter running around, misdirecting their customers.
If you're not afraid of getting punched in the mouth by some customers, you
can be just as rude as you were to them on the phone. But if you're a wimp
like me, just lie to them alot, point them in the totally wrong direction,
make up information about how great a product is and send all the customers
to Lane Seven for whatever they're looking for. Whoever is working at Lane
Seven will get very irritated.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Rights of Minors
by Pinguino (pinguino@connectnet.com)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Every kid dreams of turning 18 to "become an adult." They wanna be
able to tell their parents, "Yeah? Yeah? Fuck you, I'm moving out, bitch!"
They want to buy cigarettes and pr0n mags without getting carded. There are
certain advantages to being a minor that can be exploited and used to your
advantage.

Minors can't sign valid contracts. Apparently some guy in Congress
thought kids were too stupid to think for themselves, and that can be used to
your advantage. This is called the "incapacity to contract" and affects
minors, people who are retarded, and people who are drunk.

This was created to protect minors from older, smarter, and more
experienced individuals. On the flip side, minors have the right to disaffirm
their contracts, or cancel them. Only the minor may disaffirm the contract;
adults involved will screw the process up since they are supposed to watch
over the kid.

Think of the possibilities. I've heard of gangsters who've managed to
scam cars using this law to their advantage. Most dealerships won't sell to a
minor though, and most minors can't afford a car right off the lot. It works
easiest with rental leases and other intangible goods. It's important to
disaffirm as soon as possible, no longer than a year for this to work. If not
done during a "reasonable" amount of time, the contract is said to have been
ratified.

For example, you're 17 and lease an apartment for a year. After three
months, you want to move somewhere else. You can't be penalized for breaking
the contract, but you still need to pay for those three months.

The only exception to this law are contracts dealing with real estate.
This is to protect children who are heirs to deceased parents, and their
survivors want to take advantage of the child's gift.

Under law, minors must return the property they have gotten from the
adult involved with the contract. Conflicts occur when that property is no
longer in their posession, or the other party is unable to pay them back. This
is where if you think real hard, you can come up with another scam.

If you represent your age, and the other person can prove you did it,
there's no way you're going to win in court.

I hope that this article helps and inspires some of you out there. I
wish I knew about some of these laws when I was under 18, but I learned about
most of them at college (Business Law class). If you come up with something
and it works, email me and tell me about it. =)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A COCOT That Talks Back
by Justine (62010@telis.com)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If you're a dork like me, chances are you like COCOTs. Compared to
your masculine Bell payphone, with its straightforward weakness and honest
lack of secrets as well as its square, rugged no-frills build, a COCOT is
seductive, mysterious and alluring--feminine to the extreme. They come in many
exotic shapes, styles and sizes, and each possess their own specialized
abilities in pleasing their owners who are the only ones who can use these
powers to their advantage. I touch the body of the COCOT, feeling its curves
and worshipping its mysterious power...

...Ahem, excuse me for that. I really don't feel that way about those
payphones, but I AM the kind of loser that faithfully gets the numbers of any
new `breeds' of COCOTs and calls them from home with a terminal program to see
what happens. I've had no luck, of course... no one ever does (but if you
have, dammit, you better fuckin' e-mail me right now about it!). This last
summer, though, I found a new breed of COCOT that will talk to me. Her voice
is soft...

This sort of payphone is actually Bell commissioned--in a little
corner on the front plate, there is a Pacific Bell logo. The fone itself is
called a `California Payphone,' though, and is 100% COCOT.

Here's what happens when you call one:

[Location 1]
..............

atdt2458046
CONNECT 57600
T?!*9092458046*34710*DD4318*2067*033*9705317231826*00000�TNV} NO CARRIER

atdt2458046
CONNECT 57600
T?!*9092458046*34710*DD4318*2067*033*9705317231936*00000�TNVt NO CARRIER

[Location 2]
..............

atdt2459072
CONNECT 2400
T?!*9092459072*49045*DD4318*1947*089*9706151153243*00000�TNV� NO CARRIER

a/
CONNECT 2400
T?!*9092459072*49045*DD4318*1947*089*9706151153405*00000�TNV NO CARRIER
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ \ \ ? ? \ note mysterious
\ number of \ \ \ extra 7th digit (1)
\ COCOT \ location? \
\ \ date and time:
connection factory 6/15/97,
established code? 15:34:05

I always fantasized about login screens and menus, but this is the
closest I've gotten. My friends and I did our best to decipher the string (and
phear, too, wherever the hell he is), but there are a few mysteries still. I
also found that I'm not the first to discover this. A guy named Dark Helmet in
an old 80's ('89) California zine called PPP (Phuckin' Phield Phreakers--two
issues, kind of lame) stumbled on a similar string while wardialing
619-744-99xx...

.................................................................................
9909 : CARRIER... at 300 7-E-1
Display:

T2A*6197449909*29135*AC1009*0784*000*8911305141842N

Strange, but that's what it sent at 300 baud. At 1200 it just hung up.
...........................................................................
9922 : CARRIER... at 300 7-E-1
Display:

T2A*6197449922*50815*AC1009*1465*023*8911305141634S

Another one of the above.
..............................................................................
9970 : CARRIER... at 300 7-E-1
Display:

T2A*6197449970*70675*AC1009*0810*000*8911305142223[
.................................................................................

I'm also writing this article as a general `probe' out to anyone else
who knows stuff about COCOTs. If you have any info, mail me or System Failure
with it! I have tons of stories to trade. Like when there was a pair of COCOTs
at my old high school that we'd have tons of fun with--when you called them at
the right moment (when the person had the fone at their ear and was pumping
quarters in), it would say `incoming call' and then you'd be on. The people
would hang up and try to start over, but you could hang up yourself and keep
hitting redial, getting them each time and driving them nuts and forcing them
to beg you to let them call. Pretending to be operator could be real fun in
this way, too ("Insert 18 dollars, please"). And then of course, there's the
tricky third-party billing technique that you could use to bill the call to
the next fone over...

...But you guys knew that already. I'm rambling, too. Anyways, keep up
the exploration of phone systems--it's damned addictive.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Well, that's it for issue #3. Pinguino will be editing System Failure #4, so
it should be out on time for once. :) If you've got any submissions or
questions, let us know at system.failure@usa.net.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-E-O-F-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-