💾 Archived View for tilde.team › ~aprilnightk › gemlog › 2022 › 01 › 30-conscious.gmi captured on 2022-03-01 at 15:14:08. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Isn't it?
Like in a dream, we don't remember how we got here. We just find ourselves on this Earth, in this Universe. Without a reason, a purpose, or an instruction. This fact alone - isn't it at least somewhat weird?
No wonder people theoretize - what if our existence is, too, a dream? A part of a multilayered dream? But here and now, we are conscious. Why?
This is one of the most fundamental questions about the most fundamental phenomenon - the existence. Why are we? Why do we exist? Why does existence exist?
... You get born to this Earth and you want answers. What do I do? What _should_ I do? Why should I do anything?
Why do I have to live? Why do I have to die? I don't want the latter. I can't remember asking for the former.
You ask the Universe - and it never answers. Cold and monumentally vast, it doesn't listen to you. It doesn't care about you. It can neither listen nor care.
And so, you ask the other people.
See, the problem is - like you, they don't know. We are all in this together, in a condition that's known as "human condition".
Human condition means to be alive for some reason, to inevitably die for some reason, and the reason is unknown.
Be vary of those who tell you that they know the reason. Be vary of those who tell you that you can make your own reason. Be vary of me telling you these are both lies.
After all, you have your own heart and your own consciousness to listen to. Cleared of any outside influence - what do they tell you?
... Children are known to be curious. Children ask questions, sometimes really profound and fundamental ones. Those are the questions that the adults can't really give answers to, because they don't know.
Because the adults are not much different from the children. Stripped of their... stripped of _our_ roles, costumes and self-imposed requirements to act adult, we are not different from children, because we too have questions, and they're still unanswered.
An adult is supposed to know the truth about this life. Therefore, adults do not exist.
It's weird to be conscious because - come think of it - this Universe isn't really well-fit to harbor the existence of sentient beings.
The laws of physics provide for things like getting old, suffering from illness, dying. Whatever joy we manage to extract out of our existence is extracted _in_spite_ of the Universe. It doesn't care.
If we had our purpose, we wouldn't need to ask. Or, if we still needed to ask, we would probably be told by now.
It's weird to be conscious, because in the end of the day, consciousness has probably been a universal mistake all along.