💾 Archived View for home.groovestomp.com › gemlog › 2022-01-11.gmi captured on 2022-03-01 at 15:33:00. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
() | () /
/\/| ,_ __ __ _ /\_|_ __ _ _ _ _ ,
/ |/ | / \_/ \_| |_|/ / \| / \_/ |/ |/ | |/ \_ / \_
/(__/ |_/\__/ \__/ \/ |__//(__/|_/\__/ | | |_/|__/ \/
/|
I was fairly artistic early on in life. I wouldn't say I was an outstanding artist, but I was a quick study and got to a decent level of competency quickly. As these things tend to go, however, I never dedicated much time or effort to improving my craft, so my skills languished. There is definitely a part of me that regrets letting that happen. These days I go through periods where I have an intense desire to create art, but I feel like I lack the tools and skills to effectively execute on that inner desire. To a large extent programming has been that outlet for me in my professional life, but due to a series of missteps I've made in my career, programming has not served as that outlet for a couple of years now.
This makes me think - this whole thing modern society has of finding a specialty and doing that one thing; this is complete garbage. I have a strong desire to compose and produce music, but maybe I only want to do one song, right? Why should I spend my entire life training in music and dedicating myself to musicality to the exclusion of all the other interests I have? And seriously, this is not meant to take down anybody who wants to dedicate themselves to a single craft or occupation or what-have-you; but why is the most common and expected outcome?
@charlie_root@social.linux.pizza writes:
diversify (just thinking out loud)
why should it be the same thing 40h+ a week?
You have fixed expenses (rent, utilities, insurance, car?) the rest is variable.
Find a way to support the expenses + buffer and compose with the rest.
I love this way of thinking. I feel trapped by so many things in life right now - bills, family, fitness, relationship, health, etc., etc. Obviously I love my family and fitness and health are important, but I am always choosing to not pursue my interests in other areas and my career has turned into a total creative dead-end.
I have an ongoing problem with focus. I think this is solvable by setting up systems I can adhere to, but stress from work antipathy has largely impeded my ability to adhere to systems I am setting up. I'm struggling to do basic things I used to do despite having more time and less responsibility. I want to do all of the creative things. Of course this is not possible. Even focusing on one of them will require a significant investment of time and effort before I start seeing rewards from it (and I'm not talking financially). I might never be able to support my family by pursuing all my creative outlets, but if I can find a way to do it that I can adhere to, then hopefully I can at least live a more fulfilling life!
I feel particularly strong draws to drawing and writing. I think I can execute on writing reasonably well. I can write OK and I have the tools and process in place to make it happen, so that's something I should probably just do! I would love to develop good drawing ability as well, but I wonder if I have the time to dedicate to that. I guess there's no harm in just trying and seeing where it goes.
I wrote on my whiteboard several creative endeavors that I want to embark upon. I think for now I need to leverage some willpower to just execute, and then I can post-hoc identify a system that works. Maybe this is what some of the problem has been so far - I try to put a system in place before I've "battle tested" it, so inevitably it falls by the wayside. Or maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit here and the systems are OK; it's just the exceptions that get in the way and derail things (holidays, parties, getting sick, etc.).
Well, I *know* I need to make some progress here and I have a rough plan, so wish me luck and thanks again for reading!
Published on January 11, 2022