💾 Archived View for jsreed5.org › log › 2022 › 202202 › 20220204-relaxation-space.gmi captured on 2022-03-01 at 15:07:52. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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I'm the type of person who loves to go out. I don't always need to be outdoors, but I never want to be stuck in my own house for an extended period of time. Especially just before my wife and I moved in together, hardly a day went by when I didn't leave my house at least once. Work and classes aside, I'd spend almost every afternoon and evening hanging out with friends, running errands, traveling around, or simply exploring the city. I used residence merely a place to sleep, shower and shelter.
My mind began to build a strong association as a result. The home is not a place where serious things get done: the house is a place to relax and goof off. Sure, chores and maintenance need to be done once in a while, but that's all I should expect in terms of responsibility once I'm in my own abode. If I'm going to work, I'm going to go somewhere else to work; once I'm home, it's okay for me to shut my brain off.
Naturally this way of thinking left me ill-suited for the global response to COVID-19. My employer's entire IT department, theretofore all working together in the same physical office building, was sent to work remotely from home--and I was of course among them. Suddenly the space meant for de-stressing and resting was being invaded with a workstation, a place where I need to always be mentally alert and focused, with strict duties and deadlines as well as real consequences if I shirk on those deadlines.
I was never able to adjust to this change in my personal space. I could sustain short bursts of mental effort for a while, but the arrangement was untenable for me, and my performance and productivity steadily degraded over time. As soon as I was allowed to by the company, I clamored to return to the office, and in June of last year, they finally let me back in full-time.
This week I worked three out of five days at home for various reasons. Immediately my productivity dropped again. Tasks that would normally only need about an hour of work took two days for me to complete. I lost track of many e-mail discussions and work chats. I even almost missed a few support calls, purely because I had so much difficulty focusing.
This inability to adapt the use of my home is probably a hindrance in the long run. I'm sure I need to be better about mustering discipline and focus for a task, regardless of where I am. But I feel I'm the type of person who needs a space where I can comfortably default to dropping my responsibilities. Working from home deprives me of that necessary space.
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[Last updated: 2022-02-04]