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Several members of the family, both nuclear and extended, have developed serious health issues simultaneously. It's been hard to deal with. And in the interim, I've thought a lot about inner strength and peace.
I grew up in a Christian family, my mother coming from a liberal Presbyterian background and my father being raised in a slightly more conservative Lutheran congregation. My sister and I attended church every Sunday from the day or our baptisms to 18 years old. In my college years I drifted away, reaching a point in 2013 where I considered myself a strong antitheist and actively opposed all religion. Around 2017 my views began to soften quite a bit, though I still don't directly subscribe to any particular faith.
While I was at university, I still lived on my parents' dime. I had a job, but it paid a pittance. Even so, I thought I had the world all figured out: once I finished school and entered the larger world, I wouldn't need an emotional crutch like religion to buoy my spirits. I was still immature, and I had no idea how hard life truly is.
Now my wife and I live together, independent of any of our parents. We're fully responsible for our own choices, and when any obstacles appear in our lives, it's on us to try to overcome them. Without going into details, some of these challenges are utterly emotionally devastating. It's been difficult to find a source of stability to carry us through them.
I've recently been considering the peace and spiritual strength religion offers, especially in Christianity. I'm not active in a church, nor have I made any effort to be in one. But I sometimes read Proverbs, listen to Christian radio, or otherwise think about the teachings of Jesus.
My wife feels quite differently. She did not grow up in the Church, and she is extremely wary of any form of organized religion. When I mentioned my thoughts about Christianity to her, she specifically told me she didn't want me to subject her to any of it. Her opinions on the Church come from their history on issues like gay rights and abortion, which sit in direct opposition to her own views.
However, she has had to face the brunt of the medical issues we've faced recently, and the experience has been soul-crushing for her. I feel if either of us is a prime candidate for receiving the kind of support religion can provide, it's her. I try to be provide that support myself, but I worry that someday she'll need it and I won't be able to give it, for one reason or another.
I wish I knew a way to introduce faith to her that would bring its emotional and spiritual benefits to the fore.
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[Last updated: 2021-12-09]