💾 Archived View for gemlog.blue › users › zsungbri › 1634915957.gmi captured on 2022-01-08 at 15:57:11. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-04)
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Younghyun dared to press the call button on his phone. His hand was shaking as his phone dialed the number that Sungjin had sent. And a second later, the call connects. It starts recording the call time, Younghyun puts his phone to his ear, his hand still shaking. It was quiet, neither of them spoke, but there were soft shuffles on the other line. And then —
"Yong?" Younghyun freezes at the deep, raspy voice that called to him. "Hello?"
Younghyun gulps, blinking as he tries to find his voice. And he hears shuffles again.
Sungjin clicks his tongue, "Ano ba? Kung gusto mo rito, umayos ka, di yung ikot ka nang ikot — "
And a dog barks at him a couple of times.
"Aba — di kita pakakainin," Sungjin threatens and Younghyun hears the dog whimper. "Nagugutom ka ba?"
There was a soft bark and then there were shuffles once more, followed by a grunt.
"Tara," Sungjin says. "Yong? Hoy, magsalita ka naman. Sayang load mo. Ikaw ba to — hello?"
"Su — hello," Younghyun stutters out.
Sungjin chuckles, "Bat di ka nagsasalita — teka lang mag-antay ka, wala pa nga tayo sa kusina e."
Younghyun involuntarily smiles.
"Yong, teka lang ah? Pakainin ko lang to," Sungjin says, Younghyun hums.
Younghyun listens with a soft smile to the slightly distant noises of Sungjin bantering with his dog. He waits patiently.
"Alam mo, tahi-tahimik mo kaninang wala akong ginagawa tas ngayong may kausap ako, saka mo ako iistorbohin," Sungjin rants, his dog barks as if to reply. "Tawagin mo na kapatid mo para sabay na kayo."
His dog barks again and Younghyun hears its nails click against the floor as he walks. Then he hears something, probably dog food being poured onto a bowl. The padding paws return, as well as Sungjin.
"Hello, Yong?"
Younghyun smiles wider, hums again.
"Sorry. Loadan nalang kita mamaya o bukas," Sungjin says.
Younghyun lies down on his bed and turns to his left, "Di na, ayos lang. Wala naman talaga akong load."
Sungjin hums in confusion, "Paano ka nakatawag?"
"Nagpaload ako," Younghyun simply answers.
"Nagpaload ka para makatawag ka?" Sungjin raises his brow though the other can't see it.
"Oh, bakit?" Younghyun chuckles.
Sungjin grins, "Bat ko pa nga pala binigay number ko e pwede naman tayong mag messenger nalang?"
"Ba malay ko sayo. Okay na yan para pag face to face na, tetext nalang kita," Younghyun says.
Sungjin giggles and that was music to Younghyun's ears.
"Tanga, magkaklase naman tayo," Sungjin reminds.
Younghyun slowly frowns, "Oo nga no."
Sungjin chuckled, "Di bali na. So, bat ka tumawag?"
Younghyun rolls to his back, "Sabi mo tawag ako kung gusto ko."
Sungjin kept quiet.
"Bat nga pala — ayos ka lang? Bat ganiyan boses mo? May sakit ka ba?" Younghyun fires off.
Sungjin grins again as he walks out to the living room to lie down on the sofa, "Wala. Nagwebinar kami, diba?"
"Ah, oo nga pala. Bat kasi halos ikaw lang nagsalita?" Younghyun questions.
"Ayaw nga nung dalawa. Mahiyain daw, sus," Younghyun can see him rolling his eyes.
"Sus, gusto mo rin naman, daldal-daldal mo nga e," Younghyun teases.
And the other line turns quiet.
"President ka tas ikaw pa yung madaldal," Younghyun adds.
Silence. And he panics.
"Jin? Uy, teka lang, wag mo ibababa, I'm sorry," Younghyun says in a pout. "Joke lang e, sorry na, please."
Sungjin grins, "Pasalamat ka nga pati president niyo madaldal. Matagal ka na sigurong tahimik kung hindi ako president."
"Hoy, mas madaldal ka sakin."
"Mas mahal naman kita kaya tumahimik ka na — "
Younghyun pulls his phone away and — "AAAAAAAAAA!"
Sungjin blinks, "Yong?"
Younghyun collects himself and clears his throat, "Sorry. Anyway — "
Sungjin laughs wholeheartedly, "Ano yun? Bat ka sumigaw?"
"Wala, nagpanic lang ako," Younghyun waves his hand dismissively.
"Sus, kung kinilig ka, sabihin mo nalang," Sungjin says and laughs again when he heard Younghyun whisper a curse under his breath.
"So," Younghyun gulps, and Sungjin can tell he was being serious. "Kelan pa?"
Sungjin turns over to his stomach, "Anong kelan pa?"
"Kelan mo pa ako… you know…" Younghyun trails.
Sungjin chuckles, "Kelan pa kita gusto?"
Younghyun hums and rolls to his right side.
"Uh, kelan ba tayo naging magkaklase?" Sungjin asks back.
Younghyun shot up, eyes widening, "Hoy, simula grade 1, magkaklase tayo!"
"Ayon," Sungjin says. "Hala, oo nga no, tangina, ang tagal na pala. Ilang taon na rin… six… ten… twelve… fourteen years na rin pala kitang gusto."
"Wait lang, anong ibig sabihin nun?" Younghyun sounded like he was sobbing but he really was just helplessly whining. "Simula grade 1, may gusto ka na sakin?"
"Di naman siguro gusto na as in — noon, it was more like happy crush lang," Sungjin says.
"E ngayon?" Younghyun mutters.
"Gusto na kita as in iniisip kong hanggang sa kinabukasan ko, kasama kita," Sungjin says it like it was nothing, but it was overwhelming Younghyun. "Dati kasi, parang wala-wala lang kasi happy crush nga lang. Pero ngayon totoo na talaga, seryoso na. Di na yung gusto kita kasi napapasaya mo ako. Ngayon, gusto kita kasi gusto kong makita kitang masaya, gusto kitang mapasaya, gusto ko sumaya sa sakin."
Younghyun bites down on his lip.
Sungjin continues, "Yung crush kasi, para sakin, short term lang. Yung happy crush, inaadmire mo lang yung isang tao pero wala kang romantic feelings whatsoever. Yung crush, it's usually one-sided, minsan walang pinatutunguhan. Ngayon, kaya di na kita crush o happy crush lang kasi gusto ko may patunguhan tong nararamdaman ko. Gusto kitang makasama di lang ngayon o bukas pero pang habang buhay na sana.
"Pero syempre, di naman naman natin maiiwasan yung di pagkakaunawaan e. Sa lahat ng relasyon, magkakaroon ng balakid o problema. Pero kasi, gusto kong ikaw yung makasama ko sa kabila ng lahat ng yun. Gusto kong magkasama tayo habang nilalagpasan natin lahat yun. Gusto kong kasama kita sa kasiyahan at kalungkutan — puta parang wedding vow naman na to, hahahahaha!"
Younghyun chuckles and sniffs.
"Umiiyak ka ba?" Sungjin laughs a bit. "Hoy."
"Gago kala ko pinakakasalan mo na ako sa phone call," Younghyun jokes as he wipes his tears.
It didn't roll down his cheeks, it fell straight to his bedsheets. Sungjin laughs with him and then turns serious again.
"Pero jokes aside, totoo nga. Gusto kong mangyari lahat yun, Yong," Sungjin softly says.
Younghyun sniffs and nods, forgetting that Sungjin can't see it.
"Yong?"
He hums.
"Ikaw ba? Kelan mo ako nagustuhan?" Sungjin questions.
Younghyun hums lengthily as he thought, "Nung nagkagusto sayo yung kaibigan ni Jieun."
"Weh? Nung first year high school?" Sungjin blinks.
"Oo. Saka ko lang nalaman na gusto kita kasi nagselos ako noon. Sabi pa ni Jae panay raw tingin ko ng masama sainyo pag magkasama kayo," Younghyun chuckles. "Saka ko lang napagtanto na ayaw kitang mawala. Saka ko lang napagtanto gaano kasakit kapag nakita mo taong gusto mo na may kasamang iba. Saka ko lang naisip na, 'ayaw ko na ng iba, gusto ko si Jin'. Saka ko lang naisip na ikaw rin yung gusto kong makasama, na sana gusto mo rin ako, na sana ako nalang gusto mo."
Younghyun pauses and blinks, his tears still falling to his bedsheets.
"Na sana tayo nalang," he mutters, voice cracking.
Sungjin shuffles to lie on his back, head propped onto the arm of the sofa. He smiles softly as he hears Younghyun's soft cries.
"Tayo na ngayon, Yong," Sungjin whispers, and a sob escapes from the other.
Younghyun takes a deep breath to calm down and Sungjin smiles wider, "Tayo na?"
Sungjin hums, nodding, "Tayo na. Gusto mo ba?"
"Tinatanong mo pa talaga," Younghyun chuckles. "Syempre."
Sungjin grins, "Wag ka nang umiyak, uy."
"Gago manhid ka kasi, kahit sobrang kasiyahan di mo nararamdaman," Younghyun retorts with a sniff.
"Manhid pero may nararamdaman para sayo?" Sungjin grins lopsidedly when Younghyun —
"AAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Hoy, Younghyun, ano ba yan? Kanina ka pa sigaw nang sigaw para kang namamatay."
Sungjin cackles out loud when he hears Younghyun's mother scolding him.
"Ma! Ma, kami na ni Jin!" Younghyun declares.
Sungjin stops, freezing in surprise.
"Mabuti naman at nang di ka na magmukmok diyan. Tagal mong namang nakuha, sabi ko sayo gusto ka rin nun e. Wag ka nang maingay," his mother says and the door closes.
"Nagmumukmok ka?" Sungjin questions.
"Dati kasi nga nagseselos ako. Nawalan kaya ako ng pag-asa non," Sungjin can hear the pout on Younghyun.
Sungjin laughs again, more calmly this time, "Bat kilala ako ni tita?"
"Tagal-tagal na nating magkaibigan, Jin — "
"Ibig kong sabihin, bat alam niyang gusto mo ako?" Sungjin rephrases.
"Kasi nga nagmumukmok ako dati. Sabi ko kasi may nagkakagusto sayo tapos dun niya nalamang gusto kita," Younghyun explains. "Sabi niya gusto mo rin daw ako tapos pinipilit niya akong umamin sayo. Nag-away kaya kami nun, nainis ako kay mama."
Sungjin grins, "Paano yan, tama pala si tita?"
"Oo na, sus," Younghyun rolls his eyes.
Sungjin suddenly grunts from the other side, followed by a bark.
"Kayo nanaman — may kausap pa ako!" Sungjin slightly whines. "Upo."
It was silent for a few seconds and then Sungjin sighs.
"Ano palang pangalan ng alaga mo?" Younghyun inquires.
"Younghyun," Sungjin answers.
"Putangina mo."
Sungjin laughs out loud, "Bakit? Aalagaan naman kita ah!"
"Gago, yung aso mo kasi," Younghyun spits out.
Sungjin's laugh reduces to giggles, "Umbra tsaka Trippy."
"Bat yun pinangalan mo?"
"Black kasi kulay ni Umbra," Sungjin giggles sheepishly.
"E yung isa?" Younghyun interviews with a fond smile.
"Tatlo kulay ni Trip," says Sungjin.
Younghyun hums, "Anong breed?"
"Si Umbra, flat-coated retriever. Si Trip, Australian Shephered — bat ba natin pinag-uusapan mga aso ko?" Sungjin chuckles in disbelief.
"Wala lang," Younghyun laughs. "Bat mo kasi inaaway? Sinong inaaway mo sakanila?"
"Si Umbra. Ang gulo kasi minsan, masayahin kasi. Si Trip, kalmado lang e," Sungjin explains. "Tsaka di ko inaaway si Umbra no!"
"Hm, nakikipag-away ka lang," Younghyun grins at the huff that Sungjin let out.
It was silent for a few seconds, Younghyun's grin slowly reducing to a small smile.
"Alam mo ba, muntik na akong magwala kanina?"
Sungjin hums in question, "Bakit?"
"Hindi ako yung naglagay nung dalawa ron, yung binanggit ka," Younghyun mumbles. "Ang sinabi ko lang yung umaasa akong mamahalin na rin ako pabalik. Di kita binanggit kanina."
"Oh? Oh, weh? Sino — Kanino kaya galing yung dalawa?" Sungjin's interest peaked.
"Inamo, aalamin mo pa talaga?" Younghyun's voice was soft, but Sungjin can clearly hear the hurt lacing on it.
"Magtthank you lang naman ako. Tapos magsosorry rin kasi taken na ako," Sungjin scratches Umbra's head as the retriever lies on top of him.
Trippy also squeezed in beside him. Younghyun kept quiet on his side and Sungjin sighed.
"Yong, mahal kita. Sapat ka na, wala na akong gustong iba pa," Sungjin says.
"Muntik na akong umamin sa mentimeter kanina," Younghyun chuckles. "Sasabihin ko na sanang gusto kita tas lalagay ko pangalan ko e."
"Tangina, Yong," Sungjin laughs softly, hand retreating from Umbra's head to cover his face as his ears turned red. "Sa mentimeter ka pa talaga aamin."
"Inis ako e. Sa tinagal-tagal kong may gusto sayo, hanggang ngayon may kaagaw parin ako?" Younghyun complains. "Kung nasa face to face tayo, pagsisigawan ko talaga."
"Talaga ba?" Sungjin teases.
"Okay, siguro hindi sigaw — pero ipapaalam ko parin sa lahat!" Younghyun declares.
Sungjin giggles again, "Sa gc na muna ngayon."
"Wag, tanga, kakahiya."
"Di ka nga mahihiya kapag face to face?" Sungjin says, his eyebrows raising.
"Hehe, sa barkada muna," Younghyun smiles.
"Hm, mahal kita, Yong, ha?" Sungjin grins a bit.
"Mahal din kita, Jin."
"Sige na, kumain ka na. Kakain na rin ako, nagugutom na ako. Tsaka baka wala ka nang load," Sungjin says.
"Ayos lang. Bye, Jin. Makipag-away ka na ulit kay Umbra," Younghyun grins as well.
Sungjin laughs cheekily, "Bye-bye."
"Bye."
Sungjin drops his phone to his chest with a sigh and he looks at Umbra, scratching his head again. Umbra raises his head and gently bumps his nose on his phone repeatedly, accidentally pushing the home button and opening it. And it shows Younghyun's picture, as if Umbra knows what he was feeling. And maybe he does, maybe Trippy knows, too. After all, he sometimes mumbles his name out of nowhere.