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>>>>>>>>>>>>> EXPLICIT LANGUAGE - PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED <<<<<<<<<<<<<<
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ BEGIN uNF #005 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
/============\ ____ ___ _______________
|uNF@! Magazine| /####\ /###\ /###############\
| 14th Dec 99| |######\ |#####| |#################| TM & (c)
\=ISSUE #005=/ |#######\ |#####| |################/ 1999
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UTTER NEWBIE FAGGOTS
[=========================] [= Editors ====================================]
D If you're reading this D | Johnny^B (JohnnyB@thevortex.com) |
I it is too late. Your I | [w]ulfen (simon@paamand.dk) |
S immortal soul is doomed S | dELTAKAJ (deltakaj@hotmail.com) |
C to eternal damnation C | |
L and your mental health L [= ASCII art ==================================]
A is probably down the A | [w]ulfen |
I drain as well. I | |
M As if anyone cares... M [= Disciples of uNF ===========================]
E it's all for fun. E | ChaOticA, ConDenSeR |
R Oh, and if any of this R | |
| offends you... well... | [= Avatars of our deity =======================]
| WE DON'T CARE! uNF@!~! | | Satanic Garden Gnomes |
[=========================] [==============================================]
===] phile 005 [=] A day in the life of Satan [=] ChaOticA [===-
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Hey.. Name is Satan.. A.K.A Lucifer, The Devil, shatania,Asshole and
any other bad name you can think of.. but hey.. like i give a shit..
So you wanna know what its like to be the Devil do you?
Well listen up mother fucker cause im only gunna say this once...
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Morning comes... I dont sleep so im rarin to go on the new day here
Watching people getting ready for work... busy streets lots of people
thats where i test out see if im still workin good.. guy in a 3 piece
suit walks through a crosswalk !BAM! Hit by a bus.. Fuckin chunks of
lawyer EVERYWHERE people scream Bus driver freaks.. "Yep.. Still
got it" i tell myself..
This is pretty much the boring part of the day so... ill get into some
suit`s head and make him wanna check out the porn at work while the
boss aint lookin.. then to cause some major shit.. i make the boss
think he needs to flurt with taht little bimbo bitch secritary of his..
walks by this mother fucker jackin off in his cubical to pictures
of Jenna Jameson BAM "YOUR FIRED" and hes outa there... if im lucky
the bastard will comitt suicide but not usually so fuck it..
So.. i turn my attention to one of the 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
chicks i have down here in hell... "Hey baby.. wanna fuck the devil?"
So we go at it until fuckin wayyy after super time..
Now mother fuckers this is where my time pics up.. Bar rush.. people
scream into the local bars to spend there hard earned cash on liquids
that make them dillusional and pretty much fucked in the head..
So i take on human form.. Go into a bar.. sit there and nurse a rye
n coke..
See a Drunk ready to go home.. Convince him to drive BAM 5-6 lives
gone there drunk driver accident.. hope some of them are going to hell
See a young guy trying to get into a girls pants, so i get into his
mind and convince him that Rape is the only option.. (Shes too drunk
to identify me anyway) he thinks.. So he Rapes her..
But he kills her too.. and off to jail he goes.. her life.. now mine
3 am.. Take a shit... wipe my ass using a page from the bible just to
piss the big guy off..
Now whos in control?
Not Always like this but thats one of my days.... So...
Death Death Gore Sex destruction and Absolute power...
Whats not to love about being the devil?
I can fucking swear at you fucks all the fuck i want shitty gay fuck
and who the fuck is going to fucking do a fucking thing about my damn
shit?
Fuck the fuckin fuckers!
FUCK EM ALL
Fuckin people SAy Rock n Roll is the Devils music?
FUCK YA
sos that metal shit too Metallica.,.. OH YA
AC/DC!! HELLS BELLZ!!!
Fuck man me and Bon Scott Jam every night!!!
SO FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK I SUCK... I RULE YOU ALL.. AND ONE DAY..
You WILL be knocking at the gates of hell... "Welcome to my home...."
Muhahahahahhhahahhhahahahahaa... AAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAA
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ChaOticA
--------
mIRC UnderNet
Channel: #MetallicaRocks
Alternative nicks: Dyers`eve
"Fuck The Fuckin Fuckers"
============================================================================
uNF 005 - 14th Dec 99 - {Generated by uNFGen: 12/14/99 07:14 PM CET}
Copyright(c) 1999 by the uNF team
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ END uNF #005 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++