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		      |  |         |  |  __     |  |   <_  | Issue #:043
		     _|  |_       _|  |_|  |    |   \___/  | Date:04\12\96
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		     _ / /                            \ \ _
		   / _ /     THE LONE GUNMEN Presents:  \ _ \                
		  | |                                      | |             
		  | |         The Art Of Falling Down      | |
		  | |         Written By: Captain Head     | |               
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	*******************************STOP******************************************

	** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that ***

	** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and ***

	** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P ***

	** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was ***

	** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you ***

	** get fucked. **************************************************************

	*****************************************************************************






	Falling down is starting to become a lost art form.  There are 
  not many good trippers and/or fallers left in the world today.  Falling 
  down can be done for amusement, damage, or injury. I will list some of 
  the most popular falls and a few of the more dangerous ones.
      
      
    I   The Open Space Trip  
	===================
	This is an easy fall to do.  All you need is some open floor ahead 
	of you, say about 20 feet, and absolutely nothing in your path.  
	This is of great importance.  Start walking at a reasonable pace, 
	and either catch your foot on the ground or the back of your other 
	heel.  Trip and hit the ground.  (As with all falls, be sure to 
	land on your upper arm\shoulder region. NEVER land on your knees 
	or elbows, as great pain can occur.)  For added effect, slap the 
	ground real hard and roll around.  People will either a.) look at 
	you like you are asshole, or b.) stop and see if you are ok.  This 
	fall is done for amusement purposes only.

    II  The Shoe Rack Fall 
	================== 
	This fall is done with intent to cause damage or a mess to a 
	storefront.  As with the open space trip, walk at a casual pace. 
	Make sure to talk to your friends or look at something while you 
	are walking.  Now, this next part can be done in 2 ways.  Either 
	trip and fall into the rack, scattering merchandise everywhere, 
	or you can walk straight into the rack like you never knew it 
	was there.  This one makes more of a mess, because you will take 
	out the whole rack.  Tripping into it only causes a minor mess.  
	Remember not to fall onto the rack.  It may be sharp and you can 
	get hurt.
	
   III  The Take Someone Out Trip  
	=========================
	This is a personal favorite of mine.  Find someone walking along 
	and get about 2-3 feet behind him or her.  Trip and make sure you 
	clip the back of the person's legs.  This will cut the legs out 
	from under the person, causing him/her to fall and possibly drop 
	whatever they are carrying.  DO NOT do this to someone who could 
	possibly beat you up.  This is best done on little kids, dorks, 
	and older men.

    IV  The Escalator Fall  
	==================
	DO NOT attempt this fall until you feel you have mastered the 
	basics of falling down.  This will almost definately cause injury 
	to you or other people.  Step onto a crowded escalator.  Try to 
	move so that you either slip or trip on the step.  Let yourself 
	fall and roll down the escalator.  You will knock down anything 
	in your path.  Very funny if done right.  Another version of this 
	one is the bottom of the escalator fall.  As you are stepping off, 
	catch your toe in the area where the steps begin to go under the 
	floor.  Fall down.  If possible, knock something over.

     V  The Inanimate Object Fall  
	=========================
	Very simple fall.  Can be done in a variety of places.  Walk, and 
	just fall over something in your way.  Preferably a plant or one 
	of those children's rides that you put a quarter in.  Chairs also 
	work well in this situation.  If you are feeling really wild, you 
	can go for the Fountain Fall.  This is done in public places where 
	there is a fountain in the floor.  If there is no wall protecting 
	it, just trip and fall right in.  If there is a wall, have someone 
	shove you or bang into it and flip right into the water.

    VI  The Sonofabitch Fall  
	====================
	Lots of fun.  Get in a VERY crowded area, such as the exit of a 
	soprts arena, where everyone is packed in tightly.  When the people 
	start to walk, throw yourself forward into the crowd, and scream 
	"Sonofabitch!!!!!"  It will shove the whole crowd forward, and 
	stops everyone behind you.  While on the ground, scream "Shit!!! 
	I'm being trampled!!!!!"  It adds to the effect.

	
	
	
	These are a few of the falls you can do.  Feel free to make your 
	own as you go along.