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TCAHR - Better Living Through Memetics
Issue 5
10 Tips for the Spoken Word Artist 11/21/00
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1. Feel free to conform by speaking during readings by
anyone else, but remember to get visually mad when you're
reading and they do it to you.
2. Nothing says poet like a questionable taste in clothing.
3. If you find yourself having to change your natural voice
or physical actions to get your sarcastic poem across,
you are no longer engaged in reading verse. You are
engaging in bad acting.
4. Say "fuck". Say "fuck" a lot. The word "fuck" is
directly proportional to how great your poem is. The
word "fuck" shows how really angry and jaded you are.
5. If you've never studied poetry and someone asks you what
your style is, just mumble something about it being based
on "beat poetry."
6. Bad haiku or tankas can easily be written 15 minutes before
your turn.
7. Don't worry about having a message behind the whole poem.
Just muddy up people's heads with personal metaphors,
pretty $50 words, and yelling. No one is really
listening anyway.
8. Never put your name on the sign-up sheet after the
popular kids.
9. Prop poets are asking for it. No, seriously. You
deserve the coffee cup speeding toward your head at mach
five.
10. Finally, if you find yourself hanging out in someone's
dark, dirty basement smoking weed while playing
bongos...run! Run like Hell! You're becoming a
cartoon!
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