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                             Stuck In Traffic
            "Current Events, Cultural Phenomena, True Stories"
                        Issue #32 - March, 2000
                        

   Contents: 
   
   Madeline Kahn: RIP
   A great actress and demander of lemonade passes away
   
   Movie Review: The Astronaut's Wife
   
   Movie Review: Mission To Mars
   
   Movie Review: Wonder Boys
   
   The Pope's Pilgrimage
   For all the Pope's goodwill gestures, there still isn't a 
   framework for Peace in the Mid East.
   

=======================================
                     Cultural Phenomena
Madeline Kahn: RIP

After fighting ovarian cancer for almost a year, Madeline Kahn 
succumbed to the disease and passed away in December of 1999.  
Fortunately for those of us who have been her fan over the years, she 
left a long legacy behind in film, on stage, and TV.  

To the highbrow crowd, Madeline Kahn was probably best known for her 
Tony award winning role in "The Sisters Rosensweig" and her Tony award 
nominations for her roles in "The Boom Room, "On the 20th Century," 
and "Born Yesterday."But most of us knew Madeline Kahn from her 
numerous movie roles.  The Internet Movie Database lists no less than 
35 movies in which she played a role and several television shows.  

She won an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress in 
1973 for her role in "Paper Moon" in which she played a floozy woman 
named "Trixie Delight".  But her most famous role, the one most people 
remember her by, is probably in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles", which 
came out the following year and also won her an Academy Award 
nomination for Best Supporting Actress.  

Who could forget this saloon singer with the Elmer Fudd voice?  No 
doubt it stretched her opera-trained voice to the limit to speak in 
Elmer Fuddish for an entire movie!  And no doubt it was all she could 
do to keep a straight face during filming.  Just imagine a "Miss 
Kitty" style bar maid in her saloon get-up singing in an Elmer Fudd 
voice: 

    Here I stand, the goddess of desire
    Set men on fire
    I have this power. 
    Morning, noon, and night,
    it's dwink and dancing
    Some quick womancing
    And then a shower.
    Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me 
    They always hound me, with one wequest.
    Who can satisfy their lustful habits? 
    I'm not a wabbit! I need some west.

And of course anyone who's seen the movie can't for get "It's twew, 
it's vewy vewy twew!" But if you don't get the joke, well, you have to 
go rent the movie yourself.  

Madeline Kahn also made wonderful contributions to movies like, "Young 
Frankenstein" (another Mel Brooks classic), "Clue", "Yellow Beard", 
and "The Muppet Movie." But my favorite Madeline Kahn roles were never 
the floozy women roles.  My favorites were the movies where she played 
the reserved, up tight woman.  

Take, for example, "Mixed Nuts." Not an entirely successful movie, by 
any stretch of the imagination.  In this movie, Steve Martin plays 
Philip who, along with Madeline Kahn's "Mrs.  Munchnik" and assorted 
other oddball characters, run a crisis help line during the Christmas 
season.  She plays a rather conservative, reserved woman with a big 
heart who just wants to help people.  Or is it really that she herself 
is desperately lonely.  You have to decide for your self.  But in the 
one of the movie's few brilliant comic moments, Mrs.  Munchnik is 
trapped in one of those old fashioned cage elevators with a toy 
karioke machine and she proceeds to call for help to the tune of a rap 
song.  It's schtick that could never have worked without Madeline 
Kahn's ability to convincingly play a woman who's never once "let go" 
all her life.  

And somehow that's the Madeline Kahn character that has always 
appealed to me the most.  My all time favorite Madeline Kahn movie is 
"What's Up Doc?" She plays Eunice Burns opposite Barbara Streisand's 
Judy (aka Burnsie).  Streisand plays the carefree, happy-go-lucky, 
starving, professional student who is constantly acting on impulse and 
improvising.  Kahn's character, Eunice, plans her and her fianc�'s 
life (Ryan O'Neil) down to 5 minute intervals.  She wears white gloves 
and sensible shoes.  She's of the sensible shoes brigade.  She's the 
type that stands in front of doors waiting for gentlemen to hold the 
door for her.  

Of course, the comic element is that the world never quite lives up to 
Eunice's world of manners and etiquette and she slowly goes nuts.  At 
one point in the movie, in the middle of a hotel lobby, exasperated at 
Burnsie's intrusion into her fiancee's life, Eunice shouts, "Don't you 
know the meaning of propriety!!??" It sets the tone of the Eunice 
character for the whole movie.  

I have a soft spot in my heart for people who demand to deal with the 
world on their own terms.  Sometimes I get sick and tired of this 
prevalent attitude of "go with the flow" and "take whatever comes." 
Yes, it's very useful to know how to make lemonade when life gives you 
lemons.  But it's also good to send the lemons back and shout, "I 
ordered lemonade dammit!" 

That's why I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the Eunice 
Burns' and the Mrs, Munchnik's of the world.  And that's why I will 
miss Madeline Kahn.  RIP.  


=======================================
                     Cultural Phenomena
                           Movie Review

The Astronaut's Wife

You usually think of Johnny Depp as playing kinda wimpy characters.  
Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Benny and Joon, What's Eating 
Gilbert Grape are all movies in which the male lead isn't the 
alpha-male type.  But In The Astronaut's Wife, Johnny Depp plays a 
he-man astronaut that could have fit into the Right Stuff no problem.  

But while on a Space Shuttle mission to repair a satellite, Something 
Happens.  NASA loses radio contact for 2 minutes.  Johnny Depp and his 
fellow he-man astronaut are lost in space for a very short time.  They 
are terrified.  Once home, they seem ok physically, but neither of 
them wants to Talk About It.  

But as the movie title suggests, the story is told from the wife's 
point of view.  First there's the terror of nearly losing her husband 
to the vacuum of space, then the joy when he comes home safely.  Then 
there's the slow, but ever mounting realization the Something Isn't 
Right with her husband.  After the wife of her husband's fellow 
astronaut commits suicide, more and more stuff happens and a full 
blown conspiracy theory begins to unfold before her.  The more she 
knows, the more she begins to realize her life and the life of her 
unborn twins could be in danger.  Unfortunately, she can never seem to 
get a step ahead of the Bad Guys.  

It seems like it should be a good movie.  It's certainly an 
interesting cinematic exercise to tell the story from the wife's point 
of view.  Most other movies would have centered on the Astronaut.  .  
And I'd have to say that the script is pretty tightly plotted.  And 
I'd say that the movie is a good character study.  The script does a 
good job portraying the wife's mounting terror.  And yet, at the end 
of the movie, I didn't walk away with that sense of wonder feeling you 
expect from a science fiction movie.  Nor were there enough plot 
twists to count as a really good drama/suspense movie either.  

I give it three stars out of five.  Worth seeing, but it's not going 
to change your life.  

=======================================
                     Cultural Phenomena
                           Movie Review
Mission To Mars 

It seems that the execs at Disney told someone to go dig up all the 
successful science fiction movies of the past 15 years, slice and dice 
them together until you had something resembling a movie.  Then they 
hired a director and told him to fill the movie with as many Taster's 
Choice Moments as could be fit in.  The result, is Mission To Mars.  A 
wreck of a movie.  Some scenes are painful they are so bad.  

Of course, all the eye-candy was really good.  But so what?  Long gone 
are the days where stunning visuals are enough to make a movie worth 
seeing.  Hey Hollywood, we're done with that, ok?  Can't we just all 
move on and start thinking about story lines again?  

It's unfortunate because they had some top notch acting talent in the 
movie.  And there are a few minutes of the movie that are actually 
interesting and dramatic.  Just as the "rescue mission" enters orbit 
around Mars Bad Things Happen and the crew's dealing with it is pretty 
interesting.  

But overall, the movie is not worth a full price ticket.  Maybe a 
second run theater, if you've really got nothing better to do.  2 
stars of 5.  

=======================================
                     Cultural Phenomena
                           Movie Review

Wonder Boys

You can argue that the best kind of story telling doesn't necessarily 
involve epic adventures or mythic heroes.  Maybe the most inspiring 
stories are those that are just a little bit larger than life.  
Stories that are about deceptively normal people who manage to make 
something slightly wonderful out of life.  

Thus, the movie Wonder Boys.  The central character is Professor Trip, 
an English professor who as managed to make a mess of his life.  After 
achieving some degree of notoriety with his first novel, he never 
quite seems to get that second one completed and it's been seven 
years.  His editor is getting nervous.  And hs students are beginning 
to think he's "all washed up".  His wife has left him due to lack of 
attention from him.  He's been having an affair with the School 
chancellor who is now pregnant.  Just how did his life get this way?  
It's not really obvious.  He just keeps trudging along through the 
Pittsburgh winter slush and trudging through life.  And to top it all 
off, he has these blackout "spells" at the random moments.  

The movie takes place over a weekend at the school where a writer's 
conference is being held.  Professor Tripp, his editor, and one of his 
students schlep themselves through the weekend for one of Professor 
Tripp's messes to the next and we get a great view of just how messed 
up all their lives are 

None of which would be much of a movie, by itself.  The amazing thing 
about the movie is just how believable all of their troubles are.  You 
really feel like this could happen to someone.  And yet there's 
something about the these three characters that's just a little bit 
larger than life.  Just a little bit.  

There's also a dark, deadpan humor running through the film.  We get a 
whiff of writerly superstitions, like wearing a ladies bathrobe while 
writing.  A transvestite wanders in and out of the plot.  We meet a 
cocktail waitress named Oola who "never forgets a drink." We're chased 
by a James Brown look-a-like who think Professor stole his car.  A dog 
gets shot.  No, really, it's funny in the movie.  Trust me.  

Since the characters are just a little bit larger than life the 
conflict resolutions don't come in big dramatic, "Aha!" moments.  They 
come a little bit at a time as the characters come to grip with 
themselves.  Again, more or less like they would in real life.  

And so the "Wonder Boys" are not Super Men.  But they do manage 
improve their lot in simple, but dramatic ways.  3.5 stars out of 5 

=======================================
                         Current Events
The Pope's Pilgrimage

Watching the news stories covering the Pope's pilgrimage to Jerusalem 
this month reminded me of a business trip I took a few years ago to 
Israel and brought back impressions of just how simple and just how 
complex the situation is in Jerusalem.  

My host in Israel, Sam, drove me and a colleague to the Old City one 
afternoon to give us a personalized, guided tour of the area.  He was 
Jewish and claimed to be liberal with regard to Jewish -Palestinian 
relations.  And indeed, on the door of his apartment was a sticker 
indicating his membership in some sort of Jewish-Palestinian outreach 
group.  

But the whole area can be unnerving for an American who's never 
experienced animosity between groups of people who have to live 
together.  As we stood on the balcony of Sam's apartment, we looked 
down on neighborhoods from the top of a hill and he proceeded to tell 
us about when this block and that block were settled by whom.  What 
years there were riots in this neighborhood and what years that 
neighborhood was evicted, Esc etc.  

One of the things that surprised me the most was just how close 
everything is.  On the news the violent conflicts sound like countries 
attacking each other.  And in some sense this is exactly what is 
happening.  The psychological scale and importance of these conflicts 
are huge.  But the physical scale is small.  We're talking blocks, not 
miles.  We're talking neighborhoods, not states.  

As we started out tour of the city, Sam carefully inquired about our 
religious affiliations.  The tone of his voice didn't indicate that 
this was idle, get-the-conversation-going small talk.  It was obvious 
that he wanted to make sure he wasn't going to accidentally offend 
either of us.  Interestingly, Protestants are just barely on anyone's 
radar screen in that area.  "Oh, yeah, those dissident Roman 
Catholics" seems to be the prevailing attitude.  Again, this is quite 
the shock for Americans used to being the Center of The Universe!  

Early on in the tour, Sam instructed us in one rule to be aware of 
while walking through the Old City.  "It's highly unlikely that we 
would run into any sort of trouble," Sam said, "but just in case we 
run into any kind of violent conflict, remember this: Get your back 
against a wall and act like a tourist." In response to our 
uncomprehending stares he added, "No one, on either side, wants the 
bad publicity of hurting tourists." 

Woefully ignorant of religious history of Christianity and even more 
clueless about the history of the Jewish and Muslim faiths, the whole 
area came across as a chaotic mess.  Sam was good and patient, 
repeating facts and figures as often as necessary to impress upon us 
the significance of this.  Toward the end of my trip, I began to get a 
feel for it.  And frankly, it is chaos down there.

Take for example, the Wailing Wall, long a symbol to Jews of their 
dispersion and suffering.  This is the remnant of the Second Temple 
that was destroyed by Romans in 70AD.  And later Muslims built one of 
their most sacred Mosques right on top of the site.  So the wall is 
all that remains.  And these two holy sites are right on top of each 
other.  Neither is going to give it up.  At one point there was an 
exit door from the mosque that Muslims used to leave from after their 
afternoon prayers and due to the position of the wall it cause Muslims 
to cross paths of Jews on their way to the wailing wall.  There were 
many fights.  So one day the Israeli's just bricked it up.  I'm not 
sure how it was handled diplomatically.  

As another example of the chaos, take a look at the Church of the Holy 
Sepulchre.  Ok, at least here everyone's a Christian, right?  At least 
here we can all get along right.  No.  Not even close.  The Church is 
jointly occupied by about 12 major Christian churches from around the 
world.  Branches of Christianity that I had not even heard of before 
this trip.  And each of the Churches can't seem to agree on anything.  
So the building is divided up among the churches and each section is 
run by a different order of Christianity.  It's so bad that one of the 
Roman Catholic Pope's gave the keys to the Church to a Muslim family, 
who for centuries has had the responsibility of unlocking and locking 
the door every day.  

So you can imagine the heightened tensions when the Pope of the Roman 
Catholic Church decides to tour the area.  But it's great to see that 
there were no major confrontations during the visit.  Sure, there was 
a little bit of grating rhetoric.  But mostly the trip was peaceful.  
The Pope, to his credit, held his hand out to reconciliation with the 
Jewish Faith with his prayers at the Wailing Wall, including the age 
old tradition of writing them on paper and sticking it in the cracks 
of the wall.  He toured the Mosque, and empathized with the plight of 
the homeless Palestinians.  

But is the Pope's visit going to do anything to help bring peace to 
the region?  Sadly, probably not.  

First and foremost, everyone has to learn to respect each other's 
religion.  Easier said than done.  But there is an undercurrent of 
attitude that I sensed in Israel about attitudes toward each other's 
religion.  I can't explain it, but there seems to be this attitude of 
"I'd get rid of you if I could." I don't know.  Maybe it's the riots 
we see on the news that give me that impression.  But before a peace 
process can get started for the area, I think everyone has to come to 
the table with an attitude of, "OK, it's crowded here in Jerusalem.  
How are we going to arrange everything so we can all practice our 
religion together?" 

Which brings up the biggest obstacle to peace in the region.  The 
intermingling of civil order and religious order.  If the civil 
infrastructure of the area were religion neutral, there would at least 
be a framework for the various religions to work out arrangements for 
living together in the cramped quarters of the Old City.  But such a 
civil infrastructure doesn't exist in any real capacity.  It's a 
lesson we in the United States learned a long time ago.  In order for 
religions to coexist with each other, there must be a separation 
between the practice of religion and the civil infrastructure of the 
State.  

=======================================
                 About Stuck In Traffic

Stuck In Traffic is a monthly magazine dedicated to evaluating current 
events, examining cultural phenomena, and sharing true stories.  

                   Why "Stuck In Traffic"?

Because getting stuck in traffic is good for you.  It's an opportunity 
to think, ponder, and reflect on all things, from the personal to the 
global.  As Robert Pirsig wrote in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle 
Maintenance, 

"Let's consider a reevaluation of the situation in which we assume 
that the stuckness now occurring, the zero of consciousness, isn't the 
worst of all possible situations, but the best possible situation you 
could be in.  After all, it's exactly this stuckness that Zen 
Buddhists go to so much trouble to induce...." 

                      Contact Information

All queries, submissions, subscription requests, comments, and 
hate-mail should be sent to Calvin Stacy Powers via E-mail 
(powers@ibm.net) or by mail (2012 Talloway Drive, Cary, NC USA 27511).  

                         Copyright Notice 

Stuck In Traffic is published and copyrighted by Calvin Stacy Powers 
who reserves all rights.  Individual articles are copyrighted by their 
respective authors.  Unsigned articles are authored by Calvin Stacy 
Powers.  

                       Print Subscriptions

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