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Writing - It's a Disease - Writing - It's a Disease - Writing - It's a Disease
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Strictly����������������������������������������������������������By King Krazy
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Writing - It's a Disease - Writing - It's a Disease - Writing - It's a Disease

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       _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Gripper Zipper_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

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                                                   -King Krazy

"I'm a fool" - Gripper Zipper finger guy.

   Come on, we have all seen the commercials for the Ziploc "Gripper
Zipper" bags on TV, right? Aren't you getting sick of them? I sure am,
they come on about every 40 minutes on every channel at the same time
<because Ziploc can afford so many commercials> and it just nags at my
tags, you know? What really bugs me is that the little fester that comes
on just doesn't show himself off, OH NO, he shows us the rest of his
dysfunctional family. Like we care. I don't give a rats ass about his
family or the family nail clipper either. What I do care about the is the
bags that they are selling. So.....

   About a year ago I took 5 of the bags and filled them with various
items just to see how they would change over a one year period of time.

Item 1: Item one was the bloody glove found at the scene of the murder of
Ms. Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. I took this glove, after I
stole it from the Los Angeles Police and Crime Division, and placed it
into the bag gentle. Not disturbing it in any way, shape, or form. A year
later I look back and see that not only has the glove grown a pair of eyes,
it has become a living creature. The glove, after I unleased it into the
world, went on and solved the OJ murder trial. The funny thing was that it
pointed out that Judge Lance Ito <it saw this while it was on the stand
being questioned> does not even use that Apple Power Book on his desk, it
is there for pure pleasure. He even has some pretty K-Rad .gif's from what
I hear.

Item 2: Item two was backlog from an old conversation on a chat system. One 
page, and full of guest modem sex. From what I have observed, after a year
that paper grew into a whole modem sex relationship from start to finish.
It even had the suicide attempt at the end. It got pretty detailed and 
interesting i might add. While I was reading it once I got really hot and
sweaty and had to... oh never mind, you don't wanna hear this part. If you
wanna hear the rest mail me on alt.sex.erotica.ziploc.

Item 3: Item three was a Burger King employee. After all the people at
Burger King are so much in debt and need money that even fifty bux will
keep them occupied for a year. I open the bag to a terrible stench. I
DIDN'T SEAL IT ALL THE WAY. SHE HAD FREEZER BURN!! AHHHH!!! ARGH!!!
THE YELLOW AND BLUE MAKE *GREEN* SEAL. Oh well, what a loss. Who am I
kidding. I think I saved the world some trouble getting these people into
my freezer. These people are the filth of the earth. "I don't want pickles
on my sandwich please", I ask. My answer is always, "oops!"

Item 4: Item four is a box of dog biscuits. The dog biscuits, unlike the
Burger King employee, was sealed. The bag was an old color or brown. It
seems that when you subject dog biscuits to the freezing cold they turn
into a liquid. So, I concluded that when they are put close to heat for a
long period of time they become petrified. Have you ever seen a dog eat a
petrified biscuit? It is damn funny. The look on his face when he looks up
is downright scary though, and the attack wasn't so wonderful either.
Overall the dog biscuits are one of the most intimate objects that have
ever touched my freezer, I will cherish them forever.

Item 5: Item five was Hydrochloric acid. When you mix Hydrochloric acid
with the extreme cold on a freezer for a year it becomes chloric-hydroxide
base. When you mix the chloric-hydroxide base with your kleenex box of 
tissue you get chloric-hydroxide tissue base. Then if you take your 
chloric-hydroxide tissue base and mix it with pen ink, you get 
choric-hydroxide tissue-ink.  chloric-hydroxide tissue-ink can be used for 
many things like gasoline. It is the most efficient form of fuel I have ever 
seen and the least pollutant. It isn't a bad cocktail drink either. There is 
only one set back to drinking this chloric-hydroxide tissue-ink base, it 
gives you a permanent erection. But, It's ALL GOOD!

Ziploc Bags my be plastic, but when you mix them with some odd items you
get some pretty silly results. Some good, Some bad, all special.

                                                   -King Krazy


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[��������������������������������By King Krazy����������������������������]
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