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Contents Of MLiR Issue #5
01 - Editorial .......................... DaN aBNoRMaL
02 - MLiR Policy ........................ BaRoN
03 - Hotwiring Cars & Kill Switches ..... BaRoN
04 - The iD4 Ending ..................... BaRoN
05 - A Kid Called Jonas Part #4 ......... DaN aBNoRMaL
06 - Phreaking Terms - Part ][ .......... BaRoN & DaN aBNoRMaL
07 - PTPHEX - Protocol For The Future ... DaN aBNoRMaL
08 - MLiR Memorable Moments ............. Compiled By DaN aBNoRMaL
09 - Annoying Trans Adelaide ............ DaN aBNoRMaL
10 - Tracy Has .......................... DaN aBNoRMaL
11 - The Masterplan ..................... BaRoN
12 - Interview: GRiFFiN/FTS/FoRCe/DeSTe . BaRoN & DaN aBNoRMaL
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial By DaN aBNoRMaL
Yes, you've seen right, this is issue five of MLiR, released so soon
after #4. Anyway, we thought why bother waiting for cryptic to code
the new interface , we'd just release until its done and hopefully
it'll be perfect when it is released.
Now onto the main stuff, we have started an interview section the
first one of these is with GRiFFiN of FTS, Force and Deste. If you
want to be interviewed then leave me a message on Static Discharge.
ID4, ID4 ... bAh! independence day isn't that great. When I saw it
I was expecting much better, it reminded of Mission Impossible, not
because of the plot, but the way the movie was hyped to look excellent
but infact it's just average. Sure maybe my judgement of the movie was
clouded by the vision of Kath sitting next to me, or to the fact that
I had seen "The Truth About Cats And Dogs" just before, but that
should have made the movie better.
Sure , the special effects were great, but that's not what movies
should be about. Hmm I thought that "The Great White Hype" was nearly
as good, not because of appearance but for the funny stuff like :
"Biy-i-itch!!"
"Biy-i-itch!?!, thats Biyatch you mother fucker!"
And a few other hilarious parts, but yeah i guess it was a bit boring
though, cos Kath and Meeghan falling asleep during the movie, leaving
BaRoN and I with thoughts of fun on our mind :)
Anyway, what i'm saying is that don't believe everything you see. Just
because ID4 was hyped to shit, doesn't mean its the best movie ever.
Just because its made the most money ever doesn't mean that the movie
is good. Same with that game Quake, no, i've never played it, but i've
seen it and it didn't look much better than doom or duke 3d.
Owell, cya later and don't believe everything you hear or see,
especially if its on tv.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The MLiR Policy By BaRoN
We here at MLiR are not about bringing you heaps of information about
h/p/a. Our aim is to bring you something funny that is practical but
not complicated. We are not going to give you a whole heap of shit
about boxing or our greatness. If people who think they are elite have
a problem with this then I have a simple solution, DON'T READ IT or
write your own zine about whatever you are interested in. I am no
hacker or phreaker I am just a guy with a few simple ideas who likes
to cause a bit of chaos now and again. I have no interest in people in
the scene just reading this, this zine is for all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hotwiring Cars & Kill Switches By BaRoN
Ok I know this is in other mags but I thought I would write it anyway.
Ok this text will tell you how to hot-wire a car. Ok first thing you
have to do is find the ignition. Ok thats not hard at all. Then if
you can see all of the electric's under the dash you are in luck if
not then you better leave fucken fast. Ok coming out of the steering
column should be an assortment of wires. In my car there are 4 of
these wires leading from the ignition down to a plug type thing and
then off to god knowswhere. Ok skin all of the wires from the
steering column (there should only be four maybe five) and then cut
them. There should be one main cord which all of the wires have to be
linked too. In my car it is brown it might be a different colour I
really don't know this happened as an accident when I was fixing up
the ignition on my car. Ok now if you have found the main wire join
them all up to it. It might even work if you just join all the wires
into one big twisted knot of wires. All should be well and the car
should start. Btw There is one wire which you don't want to leave on
otherwise the starter motor will keep turning. So hook them up one at
a time and when you find the starter-motor wire let it go until the
car has started and then remove it from the bunch. When you want the
engine to die just rip all the wires apart.
One cheap way to stop people from doing this is to add a kill switch
to your car. This will cost you practically nothing although it
doesn't mean the car can't be stolen it will just slow them down and
they will hopefully give up. If you want to stop them take a lead out
from the engine and put it in your pocket for the night.
Anyway back to the kill switch. This is simply just a switch (12volt)
hooked up to the alternator (I think) which makes the circuit fuck up
cause you are mixing + and -. Hide this switch somewhere in the car
and just flick it when you leave the car. The starter motor will turn
but the car will never actually start. Of course this wont stop the
determined thief it will just slow em down ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The iD4 Ending By BaRoN
Ok if you haven't already seen the biggest movie to come out of
hollywood then don't bother because we have the ending and are gonna
share it with you. Yes thats right us at MLiR being the nice sods that
we are thought yeah why not so here it goes. You all know the story
aliens invade the earth and we fight back on july 4 woohoo with that
guy from the fresh prince of belair. Here we go ...
... THE ENDING FOR ID4 ...
At the end of the movie us earthlings are still fighting the aliens
and the aliens decide to abduct a few humans to do testing.. Well they
abduct them and take them to their lab. Thinking that the humans
aren't conscious the aliens turn around to get their drill. By the way
the humans name is Cyberpup (yes the one from IRC). Cyberpup (being
the hero that he is jumps up and flops his chop out eager and ready
and dicks the alien up the arse. The alien struggles but it is too
late Cyberpup shoots his jism up the aliens arse. He can't handle this
all mighty load which breaks through his guts and he bleeds to death
When the rest of the aliens get wind of this they retreat. They are
scared by these poofters ... (aren't we all) Well thats the movie an
inside source has told us at MLiR that there will be a sequel so
enjoy!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Kid Called Jonas By DaN aBNoRMaL
PART #4
In the last episode of Jonas, Jonas talked with the president of fATE
and was very very excited. But it ended in tragedy with Jonas being
knocked out and carried off to some weird science lab...
... Jonas woke up to the site of his favourite computer - the c64. y0!
exclaimed Jonas as he booted up the computer, not worrying about the
fact that he was inside a prison cell, and the door was blocked by two
guards holding rather large guns...
"Space Invaders" said the 16 colour screen with good 'ol adlib music.
But before Jonas could start playing there was a knock at the door.
"You want to start the test?" said the first man.
"Yes let it begin." said the second man, he was obviously the senior
of the complex and was in charge of many top-secret type stuff.
5 DAYS LATER...
Jonas was sitting in front of a brand new computer using this device
called a "modem". He wasn't sure what it was really, or how it worked
but he liked it cos he could ring up other people and log on these
things referred to as "Bulletin Boards".
Then one day his life changed... He found this file called HACK101.ZIP
he opened it up to see this a text file and a few crappy bbs adds.
"Bah! what a waste!" said jonas, but before he pressed delete,
something inside him, something deep inside was stirring, he could
feel it growing until he burst out loud "p#33r m3!!!!" and threw the
computer across the room causing sparks and smoke all over his cell.
The guards ran in to see what had happened but all they could see was
a smashed computer and a disk missing. They checked the logs and saw
that Jonas had copied a file to the disk before he had some how left
the cell.
"What do you mean he's gone?!?!?!" said the voice on the other side.
"Well there was a crash and the he vanished, without a trace" said the
very hesitant and scared voice of the head scientist.
"Nothing vanishes without a trace" said the other man, and then hung
up. *1
* * * * *
Jonas was on the run, he finally found a place where he could stay,
without any fear of being busted by the feds - a foster home. He was
soon adopted by a young couple with an impotent father <great role
model>. Being the intelligent one that he is, Jonas asked for a
computer, and his wish came true. The first night he got it, he put
that oh-so familiar disk into the drive and read the text file...
Soon, Jonas realised what his true purpose in life was - to be 31337,
there was mention of the elite people in "the scene" call something
called an underground bbs.
At first he logged onto the bbs under his real name, the sysop soon
broke into chat and commented on his great alias.
"But I don't have an alias, oh yeah what's an alias?"
NO CARRIER
He tried again, and again and again but all attempts gave him the same
message: NO CARRIER. After a while he got USER LOCKED OUT OF SYSTEM.
So he decided to ask his new parents what an alias was.
"Well its a name that criminals or people who don't like their own
name use, it can also be called a handle if you are talking about
computers." said his dad while watching one of those impotency adverts
with a slight tear in his eye.
Jonas knew what to do now, he would logon to the underground bbs and
show the world that he was elite.
ANSI Detected
Baudrate - 1200
eNTeR YouR HaNDLe : ParaLLeLoGraM
4r3 j00 4 n3w u$3r? [Y/n] y
eNTeR YouR PaSSWoRD : *****
aND aGaiN : *****
Screen Length[24]: 24
Pausing[Y/n]: y
Screen Clearing[Y/n] y
w31c0m3 70 7#3 31337 88$!!!
������������������������������������
� [f] file areas [t] timebank �
� �
� [m] messages [o] one liners �
� �
� [g] goodbye [d] door games �
� �
� [p] page sysop [b] bbs list �
������������������������������������
PLeaSe CHooSe YouR oPTioN ParaLLeLoGraM
To be continued ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
*1 = x-files style quote #1
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Phreaking Terms - Part ][
-= By DaN =-
RED BOX - Hey! my car is not!
CANNING - Plain 'ol takin' a crap :)
UNDERGROUND BBS - BBS'S that are run in Coober Pedy.
TELEPHONE - Device used when making the "phreak".
-= By BaroN =-
TRASHING - Jumping round in a bin to obtain information?
PHREAKING - Risking your arse when you could just use your neighbours
phone.
LAMER - Someone who can't walk properly.
ELITE - Computer geek who can't afford software.
BEIGE BOX - A phone with wires hanging out its arse.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
PTPHEX - Protocol For The Future By DaN aBNoRMaL
Hi , and welcome to an important announcement that can and will
revolutionise the way files are transferred.
PTPHEX (or Person To Person HEX) is the new transfer protocol that is
being tested by the members of MLiR and other groups around the world
like ACiD Productions and fORCe. Here are some stats and comparisons
on PTPHEX ...
Transfer Time: <150K File, 14.4K>
ZModem - 1 min 24 sec
PTPHEX - 15 mins 5 sec
Efficiency:
Zmodem - 95%
PTPHEX - 100% (assuming the person makes no errors)
Ok.. so these stats might not look to good for PTPHEX, but we haven't
told you best thing about it yet. The best thing is that for PTPHEX to
work, you don't need a modem to operate it, no program is required for
PTPHEX to work. I will explain PTPHEX'S requirements.
Requirements
-=-=-=-=-=-=
For two people to transfer files via PTPHEX, they will both need:
A HEX Editor such as Hexed, Hexcalibur or Hexpert.
Their computers need to be compatible with each other (i.e. IBM->IBM)
A phone line (no modem required!)
That's it!
Method
-=-=-=
For PTPHEX to work, the sender has to open a hex editor (see above for
more details) and then open the file he wants to send. The sender
should then ring up the person who wants that file. The receiver will
then open his hex editor, and create a new file. From then its pretty
simple for PTPHEX to work, the sender reads out each hex byte to the
receiver who types them into his hex editor. Once the file is complete
the receiver will be able to run the file. Because of the way that
PTPHEX is used, it is a multi-directional protocol, meaning that the
user can send as well as download while on the phone. All you have to
do is take turns when reading out hex bytes.
About PTPHEX
-=-=-=-=-=-=
PTPHEX was developed in the MLiR labs and has been tested for 16
months now. We have managed to iron out all the bugs apart from one -
the speed , we have noticed that transfers do take a long time to
complete and we are currently researching new ways to speed up the
reading and writing process of PTPHEX. We are currently using a Beta
version of the HIC (Human Implant Chip) which is a small chip attached
to the electrodes of the brain, which stimulate reading responses. All
members of MLiR have been implanted with one, and none of us seem to
be showing any signs of mental disorder. So far the HIC has increase
our reading and writing skills up to 350%! DaN is now able to type 345
words per minute while BaRoN has managed to read a 500 page book in 20
minutes. Also, the HIC can not only be used reading and writing, It
has many other advantages such as Solitaire - we have managed to
finish Solitaire on standard mode in 56 seconds, our previous record
was 100 seconds. Other examples include:
� Increased Agility (upto 50% increase)
� Increased Memory (regain all those lost brain cells due to alcohol)
The HIC should be ready within the next 2 months so look out for a
complete overview in an incoming issue of MLiR.
PTPHEX FAQ'S
-=-=-=-=-=-=
Q. Do I need a modem for PTPHEX?
A. No, you only need a computer and a phone line
Q. Will PTPHEX get me more pussy?
A. Yes it has been proven, within the last week DaN and BaRoN have had
sex over 24 times. (not with each other)
Q. Will PTPHEX make me 31337?
A. Yes, thats the other side effect we couldn't help, we think it may
have something to do with the quality of PTPHEX.
Q. Is PTPHEX secure?
A. Yes
Q. When can I get my own HIC?
A. As soon as it is released to the public.
Finally, here are some details about the makers of PTPHEX.
Developers
-=-=-=-=-=
DaN aBNoRMaL (Initial idea and design)
BaRoN (Head of testing)
Testers
-=-=-=-
DaN aBNoRMaL, BaRoN, Cryptic, JEz, Raver, Phorte, JuLeZ and Motiv.
The Future?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Stay tuned to MLiR for more information about PTPHEX and other MLiR
products.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
MLiR Memorable Moments By A Variety Of Sources
"Dick Tracy, hmmm.... I'd sure like to Dick Tracy"
- DaN aBNoRMaL, while looking at the back of the an old master system
pack, with all the games on the back.
"Eureka - Italian Word For You Smell"
- BaroN, a long time ago, in Pt Vincent
"La la la la bumba, picking my bumba, if its a nicer, I pick it a
twicer, if its a grosser I picka my nosa. la la la bamba.."
- ahem <koff> very old but still very funny
"And you know it aint over till the fat lady sings.."
- New Kids On The Block from their song "Hangin' Tough" :)
<Baron> "But nipples and pink bits are the same thing"
<Dan> "Don't worry, 31337 people don't know what a girl looks like
anyway"
- Very recent conversation between, you guesssed it, Dan and Baron.
"Biiiiyyyyyaaaaaaattttttcccccccchhhhh!!!!"
- Just yell this out the car at passers by
"Beaurepairs - Thats where you go to repair your bow"
- DaN while watching "The Truth About Cats And Dogs" <yawn>
"Michael Hunt?"
- When DaN was waiting at the doctors, he was treated to this beauty.
"Sew... Thats what you do with buttons"
- BaRoN being a smart arse
"Dick goes Woah!! then goes oh, and forgets about it"
- DaN recalling a moment at a sort of recent party
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Annoying Trans Adelaide By DaN aBNoRMaL
OK, most of you know about the usual graffiti that people seem to do -
you got the tags, pieces <which always remind me of ansi art :)> and
prolly some others that I can't remember this time of the night...
Anyway, we thought, well those have all been done before haven't they?
hmm we need something new... how about instead of your tag, how about
some obscene words or phrases such as "MIKE HUNT IS FAR CANARY" or
"MIKE HUNT IS RED" of course you can come up with some "pictures" of
the not so tasteful kind. Basically anything goes in this category,
for example you could draw some pics of penises or cunts, how about an
ejaculating penis? thats bound to get those tourists that sit at the
front of the bus taking photos going. Or maybe a big arse up there
taking a crap? hmm if you're a good drawer then maybe you can get back
at an ex-girlfriend or enemy by drawing someone giving head or taking
it up the arse and write their name in BIG letters underneath the pic.
Oh well there's some ideas for you... Have Fun and make sure you don't
get caught...
Also, another thing to do is get the biggest, blackest, homie-g'est
jacket you can find (make sure it has a hood). And just stand next to
the tracks (not on them silly), and make lots of those weird arm
movements that rappers like Snoop Doggy Dogg or Coolio would use. Or
maybe you can combine this with a full moon <snigger> to make the
effect more noticeable.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tracy Has By DaN aBNoRMaL
(sung to the song "Tracy Jacks" by blur)
---Song Starts Here---------------------------------------------------
(Tracy Does)
work at blockbuster
(Tracy Rents)
out all the movies
(Tracy Has)
very large knockers
(Tracy Has)
a very nice arse
(Tracy Gets)
perved on each morning
(Tracy Is)
very nice..
<Chorus>
Everyday she gets bigger..
I don't think that she's a nigger..
Buys a new bra everyday..
Waiting for the guys to say..
(Tracy Is)
well worth getting
(Tracy Has)
nipples and pink bits
(Tracy Does)
look very nice
(Even In)
a school uniform :)
(Tracy Looks)
out of proportion
(Tracy Has)
but that doesn't matter :)
And then it happened on a Friday night...
Tracy was driving alone and saw these two guys..
Who said she's just too overrated
<Chorus Twice>
And Fade ...
---Song Ends Here-----------------------------------------------------
Just a quickie, while I was talking to BaRoN. I think it works out ok
when sung hmm not sure owell...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Masterplan By BaRoN
THE NIGHT - FRIDAY
THE TIME - Some time round 10pm
THE PEOPLE - DaN, JuLeZ, DaV0, BaRoN
Well it was Friday night and after DaV0 driving to his basketball game
in Pt Adelaide we where in need of something to do. Bowling was the
first plan so off we went to the bowling alley. After getting beaten
in both games we went to an old persons culdersac type place and
shouted general abuse at the top of our lungs for no specific reason.
Off to get some food to eat and we went to a rather large car park
where I had some trolley rides. After that we then used the car to
catapult trolleys all over the place. If you haven't done this you
should try. Great way to kill boredom (and trolleys).
We then went to a school to have some fun. After driving into the car
park and seeing a pole blocking our way our hopes where dampened.
"Hang on" I said as I went to check the pole. I could soon hear
laughter in the car as I removed the pole blocking our way and jumped
back into the car. We where off to the shitty bogged oval. DaV0 drove
the car into the oval and proceeded to do some donuts as we al l had a
laugh. Once that was done we got out of the car to assess the damage.
Four wheel tracks had been left a good 10cm into the oval. We then
left the school replacing the pole which had previously blocked our
way.
Back to my house to get some tools from my car and we where off again.
JuLeZ was dropped home and the remaining three of us headed towards
the drive in. With three pairs of pliers and 60 metres of wire on me,
we went to the drive in. It was now about 1:00am. DaV0 parked up the
road and we checked out the perimeter fence looking for a good place
to cut the fence for easy entry. After looking at the barb wire we
had a better look and revealed two fences. Although we had to get past
this looked much easier so we had a go. The fence was already loose so
we yanked it looser as we all made our way past the first fence. All
that stood in our way was a gate with a padlock. The gate didn't look
threatening so I jumped up onto the lock so I could get over. At that
moment we noticed someone walking past and I jumped down (making more
noise) and stayed out of view with the others. SHIT SHIT SHIT It
seemed like we hadn't been noticed but we didn't want to take any
chances so we left. Before we went back though I noticed some wire.
Out came the good old pliers I wasn't leaving empty handed.
Well that was basically the end of the night as DaN had a headache and
my throat hurt from all of the yelling. Not the best night out but not
a failure either.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
MLiR Interview By DaN aBNoRMaL
This issue we interview GRiFFiN/FTS/FoRCe/DeSTe. All answers are in
unedited form. We hope you enjoy them :)
1) Favourite Style Of Music
My mostest faivouraite styles of music would have to be Hip-Hop and
Jungle. I love my Hip-Hop, been into the stuff since i was ten, and
for me, Junglist is jus taking Hip-Hop to the next level, the styles
have so many similarities, and Jungle borrows a lot from Hip-Hop.
2) Favourite Food
Oooh, ummm ..I love Tee-Vee snacks, those things rox0r! I like lasange
(how however you spell the fucker), Twizzlers, umm ..Minties, pork
chops, ribs, steak, and these Fijian sweet potatoe things.
3) Describe your perfect woman
Myself with tits :) Hehehe nah, on the real, she would have to be a
*FINE* chick I know called Rachel Mehaffey. Damn she is a hunni, I'm
fuckin crazy over her, half those tunes I write are for her! Been
wanting her since year eight! MAN she is sweet!
4) If you had a gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot
Vanilla Ice. Because he has fucked up Hip-Hop over here so much,
everyone thinks that all people that listen to Hip-Hop are like
Vanilla Ice. That punk has to go. If he was unavaliable however, I
would ask for a bullet with some real nasty explosives in the tip, and
shoot 2-Unlimited, because they have done for techno what Vanilla Ice
has done for Hip-Hop.
5) Situation #1: You're at a party, there is this girl with huge tits
trying to come on to you. There is also a geeky guy across the room
looking at you, you are holding a cucumber and deep heat. What do
you do?
Well, as tempting as it is to root the geek, I would have to go with
rooting the chick with huge tits. It is a common fact that Deep Heet
combined with a fresh cucumber makes a mad aphrodiziac; I would simply
smother the cucumber in the Deep Heat, make the chick consume it, and
proceed to thrust away. Nothing going against the geek, I jus prefer
guys with bigger calculators :)
6) Situation #2: If aliens landed at your house and asked to be taken
to your leader, who would you lead them to?
Probably either Goldie or KRS-ONE. Goldie is jus a ledgend, he makes
some of the bestest jungle IMO; all those people who say he is a
sellout, FUCK YOU! There is a difference between being successfull
and selling out. And jus because he don't make aggressive music,
doesn't mean it's not hardcore. KRS-ONE. Well, the guy is jus unreal;
over a decade in Hip-Hop and he is still going strong!
7) Situation #3: You wake up in the morning to discover that your dick
has relocated itself to your forehead, What do you do?
Proceed to give girls head. (sorry, I had to say it).
8) Favourite Drink
Aviation Fuel
9) Do you smoke (what do you smoke?)
I love weed, cigars (good creamy ones) and the very occasional cone of
daytura. Only last time I tried smoking daytura I went blind for a few
hours :)
10) Do you like mlir
No, it sucks dogs balls. You can all kiss my skinny black ass.
11) What do you think can be improved with life in general
I feel that old people trying to act young by listening to MC Hammer
and wearing fluro coloured clothes should be locked away in a dark
cell. All toys should be free, expecially MicroMacines and those new
Star Wars toys. All adverts, TV show themes attempting to make a "Rap"
theme song should be shut down and have their broadcasting liscence
revoked, and scientists should take up research in to why males have
nipples.
12) What BBS'S are you on
Well, when I can connect, I go on Morbid Incite 2, otherwise I call
The Abyss, Kewl 4 Katz, The Temple, and occasionally, the Distributor.
I sometimes call Room 101, but as we all well know, MZ is a lazy
bastard, and as a result, the board is practically dead :)
13) Do you run a BBS? <name, etc etc>
Not as yet, but I'm hoping to get one up soon (I know I keep saying
this, but now I have the files online, the system is almost completely
set up, and I already have a new menu set being done). So, umm ..look
out for that one :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, thats it for issue #5 of MLiR. We will continue with this text
format till the coding for the MLiR executable is done. Also , we may
not be releasing MLiR as often next issue, cos of year 12 exams and
all that crap that goes with it. But knowing me and BaRoN, we won't
bother studying for them :) In next issue we will have an interview
with erm... not sure yet :) But yer and a few more goodies as usual.
DaN aBNoRMaL <phew! this is line 667>