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dP                                      888888ba                    dP       
88                                      88    `8b                   88       
88        .d8888b. 88d888b. .d8888b.    88     88 .d8888b. 88d888b. 88  .dP  
88        88'  `88 88'  `88 88'  `88    88     88 88'  `88 88'  `88 88888"   
88        88.  .88 88    88 88.  .88    88    .8P 88.  .88 88       88  `8b. 
88888888P `88888P' dP    dP `8888P88    8888888P  `88888P8 dP       dP   `YP 
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   88                                        88           ldt009.txt 			    
   88    dP    dP 88d888b. 88d888b. .d8888b. 88              Sex               
   88    88    88 88'  `88 88'  `88 88ooood8 88     http://ldt.aguk.co.uk                      
   88    88.  .88 88    88 88    88 88.  ... 88        ldt@hushmail.com                   
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#009 - [ Sex ]
       [ jarvis ]


root@w4r3zm4ch1n3{} cat /usr/include/disclamer.h
// if u r seeing this disclamer, this may either be an exploit,
// or some trivial piece of code or some txti wrote; as such, it
// is not a piece of code for remote daemon running as root, an suid bin, or a
// a novel i am working on and trying to use proper grammar on.  the said code/txt
// in question either says or does what i want it to do and i do not give a fuck about
// grammar or style in it, nor will i held responsible for how your use it
// -twd
root@w4r3zm4ch1n3{}

"i'm rapidly losing interest in sex"
-Jarvis Cocker

My first experiences with sex left me with the same feelings as the above quote.
Then I met my current gf and something changed.  I didn't really feel dirty 
afterwards, and I enjoyed the actual act itself more than I usually did.  I used 
to prefer masturbation to sex (I do not wish to go any deeper into this; 
masturbation is beyond the scope of this txt and as much as everyone would 
like to read about me running around jacking myself off, I will refrain from 
writing about it). 

Sex always seemed perfunctory to me before, or it ended up becoming perfunctory 
or even disgusting to me afterwards.  Looking back, it's interesting to analyze 
why I felt the way I did then and why it felt different the last time.  In all 
the previous experiences, I was either in seriously doubting the other person's 
feelings for me, I knew the person was using me, I didn't have the same feelings
for the person, the person in question was just a much less than elite lay. 
or 'love' became predicated on sex.  The latter reason is obviously the worst-case 
scenario.  This time, though, what really hit me was hearing "i love u" during 
the act itself, feeling the same way * 1000, and the person in question was 
actually  pretty good (makes u a lil wary, though!).  Who knows if the person 
really meant it, but it sure felt like it and it sure made things click quite 
nicely...  

The thing about sex itself that makes it so scary to me, though, is how it can 
be the determining factor in a relationship; the relationship either starts 
off completely based on or ends up going on because of it.  Writing this down 
and thinking about it is really wrecking my nerves so I will probably stop soon.  
Don't think that I'm saying you should feel how I feel about sex, these are 
just my feelings about it.  People have been fucking however, whoever, and 
whatever they want for a long time now and I believe it's only the business 
of the parties involved.

Sex is no longer shocking.  Who knows if sex was ever shocking?  Was it ever 
really shocking, in some 1950's type of way, or was it just the people 
performing it who shocked people?

Now nobody really cares.  Everybody fucks everybody.


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      Long Dark Tunnel 2001. - http://ldt.aguk.co.uk - ldt@hushmail.com 
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