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T-File_8_____February_10_2005
Killer Robots
By Emoticon
Below is an excerpt from some unemployed journalist's LiveJournal. From
2058:
It seems funny to me that fifty years ago the largest "high tech"
threat a private citizen could pose was inconvenience. A virus, pop up
or some spam email. Sure there was corporate espionage, but that was
less a result of flawed technology, and more an issue of human protocol
weaknesses - or at least that's what it says in the history books.
"The unforeseen high tech boom at the turn of the century hit humanity
faster than it could handle such progress, ultimately resulting in
economic disaster. First was the era of the world wide web and dot com
boom, followed by the slow death of former software mogul Microsoft, the
IP wars that made innovation illegal..." - but I digress.
Just fifty years ago robots were laughable tin cans that danced around
stupidly and cost millions (which was a lot of money back then) in
research if they did much more.
Today, it's quite different and a new epidemic plagues our society.
Metal hitmen. Sounds like a band name from that era too, now that I
think about it. This problem is far worse than powerchords and long
hair, I'm afraid; robots programmed to kill - completely untraceable,
cheap-as-hell minions - disposable after the job is done.
Originally the killer robot industry was strictly government and black
market business. Now it seems any kid with some free time can build one
of these things and kill their teacher to get out of an exam. In my
town alone there were six robot hits last week.
The machines are simple. Pentium six or sevens, no true AI needed.
Ten thousand US Dollars will land you an adequate bot, able to ensure
your adversary's demise. They roll around, usually disguised as
maintenance bots, and wait for your foe to leave his office. He never
sees it coming. When the little bugger switches vacuum attachments on
the built in rotary, out pops a gun barrel, or a tranq gun, or an
explosive.
Sometimes the machines are more up front, barging through doors until
the dumb thing reads the RFID of your victim and fills them with lead,
like that poor Japanese manager on page 36 of today's Times.
Sometimes, they even deliver a message - audio, text, video, or
otherwise, taunting the doomed victim, or informing them of why they met
this fate. An affair, a spoiled business deal - a technology reporter
being fired for no good reason... But that's neither here nor there.
It's 1:45 AM, and I have things to do, namely sleep. I don't have
time to rant about this stuff. Just be aware that these motherfuckers
are out there. There's really no way to defend against such a fate if
someone wills it upon you, so live your life to the fullest - oh what
the fuck, this isn't some advice column. It's a god damn livejournal.
I don't have a column anymore. Shit, be scared, I don't care. Boo!