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.ili. Devil Shat Thirty .ili. --------------------------------- The Hacker's Manifesto, 1998 ........... by Morbus & Stillborn This is Devil Shat Thirty released on 07/02/98. Devil Shat is published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/ Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email and let us know. Hilarious redemption covers all aspects. ---------------------------------------- .ili. The Hacker's Manifesto, 1998 .ili. ---------------------------------------- by Morbus & Stillborn On Monday, June 22, 1998, the webserver that Disobey.com resided on was hacked. After two days of people coming to the site in hopes of finding the quality content that they have grown accustomed too, they were met with 404's in every direction. It sucked real bad. Our first reaction, was of course, one of anger. All of our hard work destroyed by one person with a lucky keypress. And then we started laughing. What follows is what came out of our minds at the time... we think it's pretty funny, and you should too. Some background information: The Hacker's Manifesto was released long ago, by a person named the Mentor. This paper has been heralded by every self-proclaimed hacker in the world, and is often the basis of their life. Any crappy hacking page will have it up there, with exclamation points preceding its arrival, as if they had to hack the Pentagon to get the damn thing. This is the 1998 version of the Hacker's Manifesto. It is not intended as anything more than an indication of where hacking was and where hacking is now. Most of you from this line of work will know the original version to a degree, and understand the humor below. The original version follows directly after. And without further adieu: The Hacker's Manifesto, 1998 Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your three-piece psychology and year two thousand worries, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a Hacker, enter my world... Mine is a world that begins with School... I'm smaller than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us eludes me... Damn underachiever. They're all alike. I'm in Junior High or High School. I've listened to Teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..." Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike. I made a discovery today. I found a chatroom. Wait a second, this is cool. I do what I want to. If someone pisses me off, I nuke them. Not from my ingenuity... Or from the coding I've learned... Or being creative youth... Or even from making my own scripts... Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. And then it happened... A door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day abuse is sought... a script is found. "This is it... this will make me look 'eleet'..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike... We are second generation self titled hackers, the kind that security has no fear of. The scripts that we use have been used a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, a thousand different names. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. Our credit card numbers are generated from someone else's idea and the only use they get is invading pornography sites in hope for... uhh... knowledge. This is our world now, the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us Criminals. We explore porn sites... and you call us Criminals. We seek after... uhh... knowledge... and you call us Criminals. We exist without skin color, without originality, without religious bias... and you call us Criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the Criminals. Yes, I am a Criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and how many non letter characters they have in their name, not what they look like. My crime is that of thinking I've outsmarted you, something you will never forgive me for. I am a Hacker, and this is my Manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all. After all, we're all alike. The .\\3/\/+0r What does this accomplish? Nothing besides lightening the mood and having a good laugh. And sometimes, that is just all you can do. Out of respect, we present the original version of the Hacker's Manifesto, written by the Mentor. The Hacker's Manifesto, Original Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested After Bank Tampering"...Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of a Hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a Hacker, enter my world... Mine is a world that begins with School... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me... Damn underachiever. They're all alike. I'm in Junior High or High School. I've listened to Teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work, I did it in my head..." Damn kid, probably copied it. They're all alike. I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed up. Not because it doesn't like me...Or feels threatened by me... Or thinks I'm a smart ass... Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here... Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. And then it happened... A door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addicts veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it, this is where I belong..." I know everyone here, even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all. Damn kid, tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike... We've been spoon-fed baby food at School when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert. This is our world now, the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us Criminals. We seek after knowledge, and you call us Criminals. We exist without skin colour, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us Criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat and lie to us, and try and make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the Criminals. Yes I am a Criminal, my crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a Hacker, this is my Manifesto. You may stop the individual, but you can't stop us all. After all, we're all alike. The Mentor ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The website edition includes images, a nice design, and all of the email we have received about this issue. Go there and um, er, have fun: http://www.disobey.com/devilshat/ Copyright 1997-1999 Disobey. You may not steal, maim, hold for ransom, kill, or rape any part of this issue. http://www.disobey.com/ TO SUBSCRIBE: morbus@disobey.com SUBJECT: Subscribe Devil Shat TO UNSUBSCRIBE: morbus@disobey.com SUBJECT: Unsubscribe Devil Shat ------------------------------------------------------------------------