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b l i s t e r s - o n - m y - b u t t
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issue 009 - "interview with a 908 telecom legend, tut"
by pip the angry youth
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contact: http://www.alt164.com/bomb or bomb@alt164.com
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i've been known to do an interview in my time, so i figured that i'd
start off my career with b0mb with a phattie bo-battie interview with
the one and only TUT!@...
oh yeah, death to hoe.
CountPip: welcome back to the lnad of the living.
MrKoo410: wassup?
CountPip: not my hopes for a date, that's for sure.
MrKoo410: hehehe...i just got hit on and touched and rubbed....oh
CountPip: dick.
CountPip: dick dick dick.
MrKoo410: no, she didnt touch my dick...
CountPip: do you think she'd touch mine?
CountPip: =]
MrKoo410: nope.
CountPip: damnit!
CountPip: doud, get me a frosh chick.
CountPip: do it now.
MrKoo410: hahahahha....
MrKoo410: naaaaaaah.
CountPip: why are you such an asshole to me?
CountPip: what have i ever done to you?
CountPip: WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT?
MrKoo410: HI!
MrKoo410: gotten old! :)
CountPip: what?
CountPip: what the fuck does my age have to do with anything?
CountPip: TELL ME, BOY.
MrKoo410: yer like old! :)
MrKoo410: yer a geizer! :)
CountPip: doud, i'm 22.
MrKoo410: im so glad i can say that without getting hit :)
CountPip: that's not all that old.
MrKoo410: i know, i just love to say yer a geizer :)
CountPip: my doctor told me not to hit people.
CountPip: too many lawsuits.
MrKoo410: hmmmm...
MrKoo410: alright....
MrKoo410: buttsex
CountPip: fuck off, wanker.
MrKoo410: buttsex
CountPip: eat the corn out of my shit.
MrKoo410: eat the peanuts out of my shit
CountPip: shut the fuck up, you peanut picking bastard.
MrKoo410: shut the fuck up, you penis picking bastard
CountPip: kevin, i'm not really in the mood.
CountPip: don't fuck with me, boy.
MrKoo410: what's yer sitch?
MrKoo410: boy?
CountPip: sitch?
CountPip: what kind of backwater term is that?
MrKoo410: are you going to iraq?
CountPip: hopefully not, considering that i'm not trained for ground
combat.
CountPip: if i would be to go anywhere, it'd be oman (shit house) or
saudi
(slightly better shit house)
CountPip: but the chances of that are slim to none.
CountPip: well, EXCUSE ME for having at least a little angst.
MrKoo410: hmmmm....
MrKoo410: you want to go there eh?
CountPip: not in the least.
CountPip: those fucking rag heads can have their sand.
CountPip: i'm not about to die for some (censored)
MrKoo410: hahahahaa
CountPip: you know what i'm saying?...
MrKoo410: yes, (censored).
MrKoo410: stop being "that guy"
CountPip: what the fuck are you talking about?
MrKoo410: what are YOU talking about?!
CountPip: man, i don't need to take this from a goddamn half baked jew.
MrKoo410: shut up you stupid mc
CountPip: i don't want to hear any more of your jew lies.
MrKoo410: at least jesus isn't our lord!
MrKoo410: :)
CountPip: jesus is everybody's lord.
CountPip: you bagle eating jew bastard.
MrKoo410: yer very wrong in saying that.
MrKoo410: but i expect that (wrongness) from an irish catholic filthbag
MrKoo410: :-)
CountPip: listen, you haunakah celebrating, dradle spinning, matzoh
eating
piece of shit, you better shut your goddamned kosher piehole
before i shove my steel toed boots of the klan down your
throat.
CountPip: skins 4eva!
MrKoo410: HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAA
CountPip: so, jewbag, are you going to elfocn?
CountPip: elfcon
MrKoo410: yer queer as a $3 bill
CountPip: you're as dumb as a dumbass.
MrKoo410: i'll probably be making an appearance....but i cannot stay
very
late, and i cannot stay over....and i cannot drink.
CountPip: you're such a fucking red sea pedestrian, hook nosed
descendent of
moses... you make me sick.
CountPip: i'm going to be the proud owner of every winamp skin/plugin
known
to man.
CountPip: on a cd-rom!@
CountPip: what do you think of that, jew.
MrKoo410: not much of it.
CountPip: hey, can i use our conversation for my zine?
CountPip: for 'bomb'
MrKoo410: as long as it's used in a negative way!
CountPip: of course it will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CountPip: i'm going to kill the sand nigger part (for c4) becaues i
think he'd
find it insulting to himself.
CountPip: i mean, REALLY... who would want to be associated with those
rag
heads anyways.
MrKoo410: i dunno man...they should be terminated.
CountPip: exactly, you should hear the shit we talk about in class =]
CountPip: we're all like ... talking about ethnic cleansing, but not
directly.
MrKoo410: hahahahaa...i watched full metal jacket last night...and
thought of
you :)
CountPip: awwwh! actually, that movie is more like what kelly went
through...
my basic isn't all that tough.
CountPip: well, i shouldn't say that... mentally it was tough,
physically it
wasn't.
CountPip: i even got to clean dishes there!@
CountPip: wh00t!@
MrKoo410: hahahaahahaha....PRIVATE PILE!
CountPip: i wish fucking alfheim was back up...
CountPip: WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?
CountPip: this is wacky, i'm getting tired at 10p
CountPip: i NEVER get tired this early... not since before i started day
shift...
MrKoo410: i'm friggen BEAT!
CountPip: well i'll be a jew bastard's uncle! alfheim is up again!
MrKoo410: niftee stuff...like yer mc mother
MrKoo410: "can i take your order?"
CountPip: hahaha.
MrKoo410: "i'll have a duncan mcmother please"
MrKoo410: "supersized?"
CountPip: oh SHIT... you did not go there!
MrKoo410: "well i thought she already WAS supersized"
CountPip: doesn't she come supersized?
MrKoo410: OH YEAH!@#
CountPip: ahhhh.
MrKoo410: it was a little funny :)
CountPip: not as funny as it's going to be when i crush your face with a
wiffle ball bat.
MrKoo410: well, how are you gonna wrap your fingers around the bat when
they're broken?
MrKoo410: and i think maybe at that point you should be holding a broom
to
sweep up yer teeth
CountPip: oh, so you're a funny boy now, eh?... FUNNY HA HA?
MrKoo410: oh now yer going to get the delusion that yer in the IRA arent
you?
MrKoo410: yeah i get it....
MrKoo410: all you stupid red-haired queers get the image of being a
tough
guy....
CountPip: no, i think you're more of the funny queer type... uh huh...
i reckon i'm gonna have to kill you... uh huh...
MrKoo410: some call it a kaiser blade...i call it a sling blade...mmm
hmmm
CountPip: i'm about to whip your sorry homo loving jew ass...
MrKoo410: all this discussions of a whip....i'm not so sure i wanna
partake
in your little games...as a matter of fact, i dont wanna have
anything to DO with yer kinky pillow-biting games!
CountPip: now see, why didn't you come up with all this shit earlier in
the
conversation? now i'm going ot have to cut and paste this
shit
into it... somewhere... becaues i'm way too tired to think of
a
comeback right now =]
MrKoo410: hahahahaa.... i'm a scumbag jew bastard anyways :)
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my most humble appologies for the censored parts, i kinda went out on a
limb and said something that may offend someone.
well, kids... that's it for the first interview from your friendly
neighborhood pip the angry youth... have a nice day.... take care of
yourself, and each other.
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(c) jes