💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › ANGSTMONSTER › … captured on 2022-01-08 at 14:56:25.
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
+------------------------+
�AaNnGgSsTtMmOoNnSsTtEeRr�
+------------------------+
ANGSTMONSTER SPECIAL RELEASE 4
MAKE ASCII, NOT WAR!
/\ /\ "Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I am either, but that's not
____| x x | the point of all this nonsense. The point is to tell all yall
\/\[____| | that war is not cool and you should stop right now! I mean,
/\ /\\(OO)/ what's so cool about war? Do I have to show you a list of
\__/ things about war that are uncool? I know how you tfile people
work! Don't make me show you a list!"
*REASONS WHY WAR IS UNCOOL*
(In No Order!)
It kills people
Allows others to profit from killing people
It's not fun
It smells bad
Teaches people that violence is an answer
It lacks intelligence
Nobody ever really wins
Wastes money that could be spent giving people cookies
Allows the winner to take control of the data flow
Forces people out of their homes
Restricts freedom of speech
Makes you feel ashamed to live in a country that fights war
etc
/\ /\ "I know a lot of this may seem pretty obvious, but it never
____| x x | hurts to have a list doing the dirty work of talking. (It
\/\[____| | also makes it look like I put more work into things by sorting
/\ /\\(00)/ them into a list!) But that's not the point. The point is
\__/ that tfiles are cool. And I made a list to prove it!"
*REASONS TFILES ARE COOL*
(Once again, no order)
They're free
Anyone can make them (+10 DIY points!)
Don't take up much space
Don't need paper to make em
Can be viewed in almost any program
Can be written in almost any program
Uses simple ASCII characters
Distribution is easy
Fun to make
Nostalgic, but ever changing
etc
/\ /\ "Does anyone ever think about how hard it is to make a list of
____| x x | reasons why tfiles are cool? I mean it's really easy to go
\/\[____| | 'Fuck yeah, tfiles 0wn all the bitches!!' but how do we convey
/\ /\\(OO)/ the idea to the unwashed masses? I KNOW!! A LIST THAT PITS
\__/ WAR AGAINST TFILES!!!!!"
*REASONS WHY TFILES 0WN WAR*
(0rder 0wns j00!)
Tfiles are all powerful and can start revolutions without a
single death
No one ever starved while writing or reading a tfile
Tfiles do not promote plague, famine, etc (quoting many cDc
tfiles: "heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers
cast out demons"
People who read tfiles eat cookies and cookies are anti-war
Tfiles don't have that smelly war smell
Tffiles promote freedom of speech
When someone stars a new tfile it's cool, when someone starts
a new war, it's not cool
Tfiles are funny, war is not
You never run out of ASCII where as you just might run out of
ammo
War sucks and we all know it.
/\ /\ "Thus at the conclusion of the this tfile we know one thing: war
____| x x | is a stupid waste of time and tfiles are a far more noble
\/\[____| | pursuit. If only some of our world's leaders could learn this
/\ /\\(00)/ lesson that I have brought to your attention, then perhaps
\__/ we (nor our children and their children, etc) will not have to
witness another war. At least not until the elite beings from
other worlds decide that we must be destroyed. (because the
first thought in every higher beings mind is that we should be
destroyed!) But alas, another story for another time!"
___
// \
/ __/
\ \
\\___/
"Peace Love and Textfiles"
+-----------------------------+
� WAR: 0 Textfiles: 1 �
� http://scene.textfiles.com �
� �
� ANGSTMONSTERS NEED LOVE TOO �
� http://www.angstmonster.org �
+-----------------------------+