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. . . . . . . . . . "Jason on Homosexuality"
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . by Jason
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Homosexuality (and sex in general) tends to bring out conflicting and
strong reactions in people (like just about everything else these days),
particularly men. Take, for example, our (meaning us males') fear and
loathing of male homosexuals, yet our lust for lesbians. Chicks, on the
other hand, typically don't care one way or the other. Bizarre.
Why men get turned on by lesbians is a mystery to me, since by
definition it means that we aren't gettin' any. I once heard it described
that men like lesbians because they want to believe that the women are
getting ready for us. This opinion was given by a woman, who wouldn't
understand. Frankly, we don't understand it either, but our arousal at the
sight of two chicks making out is FAR more profound than them "just getting
ready for us" or even that there are no icky, hairy male parts to block the
view. No, it is a deep, instinctual woody we get. MY THEORY is that in the
old days, if you had a strong female community inside the tribe, it
increased the chances of the kids surviving to adulthood, since the women
would help each other out. Therefore, if the chicks were so close as to be
making out with each other, that would mean a very tight-knit community, and
therefore we want to do them so that our own offspring has the best chance
of survival. Makes sense, I guess. I don't know if guys from ALL cultures
are turned on by dykes, though. It would be interesting to see if Africans,
Asians, or Native Americans react the same way.
In my view, many people's hatred of male homosexuals is ludicrously
irrational. My perfectly RATIONAL stance is to ENCOURAGE male
homosexuality! If you think you might like guys, DO IT! If you're bi,
BECOME EXCLUSIVELY QUEER! If you're not, TRY IT! You might like it!
Explore the wonders of gaity! BE GAY! More chicks for me...
Now I'm as straight as they come for a couple of really good reasons.
First, anal sex is not my idea of a good time. My butt has "Exit Only"
tattooed over it and as a rule I try not to stick any body parts into
anything that smells like shit. Second, if I want to do it with a guy, I
can just stay home a jerk off. It's a lot less trouble and a lot less
risky. Finally, I just love women. They're soft in all the right places,
they smell right, and my tab is perfectly designed for their slots (insert
Tab P into Slot P--Repeat). If I was making out with a guy, I'd be
imagining that he was a chick anyway, so what's the point?
The only sexual orientation that bugs me, ironically, is female
bisexuality. Maybe because it's currently "trendy" (and I'm distinctly
anti-trendy). Maybe because it's more competition for the women (TWICE as
much!). Maybe because every bisexual I've ever met has been about as
emotionally stable as a rabid Rottweiler (and has had a host of other
problems to boot). I suppose it only bothers me insofar that it is a
quality I definitely do NOT want in a potential girlfriend, but it's still
kinda weird. Of course, that's purely conjecture because the prospects of
me EVER hooking up with a female have never been so dim.
IN CONCLUSION, I just want to say that people who get all hyped up
about what people do with their consenting adult partners CLEARLY have too
much free time. Thank you, and goodnight.
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. anada 124 by Jason (c)2000 anada e'zine .
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