💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › ANADA › anada11… captured on 2022-01-08 at 14:49:01.
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
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. . . . . . . . . . "Gross Food of the Week"
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . by Laja Ajna
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Today's winner is Mozzerella Flavored soy cheese on an otherwise good
pizza. Don't be deluded, however, to think that I make an effort to eat a
new gross food every week. I don't. I just happen to unsuspectingly
stumbled upon them, and then pass the warnings on to you, after determining
that this is WAY more important than the work I should be doing.
IT DOESN'T MELT. In fact, the consistency more resembles slimy, cold,
day old macaroni than any sort of cheese I've ever had. When I think of
pizza cheese, I think of adjectives like "melty" or "stringy" or maybe even
"YUM"; none of which apply to this substance.
I mean, it's not an ENTIRELY bad food. I'm sure it's very good for
me, filling my system with lots of good protein and not so much fat. And
I'm fairly certain that no barnyarn animals were abused during their short,
pitiful existences to make this food product.
But what good is all that, when the taste is so questionable?
When eating a pizza, I'm looking for the satisfaction of sinking my
teeth into warm, melted cheesy goodness. Not solid cheese "flavored" soy.
This fake-cheese wasn't dissapointing on only a taste basis;
structurally, I am looking for this cheese to hold my toppings to the pizza
as well. Something a non melted substance just can't do, causing everything
to fall off the piece as I attempted to eat it.
However, for all of its shortcomings, this Mozzerella flavored soy
cheese doesn't hold a candle to pickled pig snout, so I guess it's not a
total loser.
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. anada 112 by Laja Ajna (c)2000 anada e'zine .
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