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. . . . . . . . . . "My Two Cents Worth"
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . by Chkristy
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I feel like I have so much ahead of me...do you ever get that feeling
that life is just beginning and you never even knew how crappy it really
was? I should be happier, but I guess with all the choices, I don't have
time to feel emotion. Work is tedious and I feel totally anti-social. It's
not that I am anti-social, it's just that I feel like no one in my
environment is worth socializing with. I feel as though I am becoming too
much of an adult lately though, and that scares me. Because inside, I still
feel like that scared little twelve year old. And someone told me yesterday
that, not only was I a woman, but I was a beautiful woman. Where did all
the time go?
I'm tired of all the people of this world complaining about things
that they refuse to act on. Things could always, ALWAYS be worse. It's all
a state of mind. If you don't like something, change it. Or go off and do
your own thing.
"Ah, in such an ugly time, the real protest is beauty"
-Dennis Lyxzen
These days, as much as I want children, I fear raising them in this
society. So instead of bitching or becoming sterile, I am going to be
something so that I can help change it, to make things safer for my children
and myself.
But who's to say I'll even have children?
"I say unto you, one must have chaos in oneself to be able to
give birth to a dancing star."
-Frederich Nietzsche
Is love, I mean real love, possible in these days?! I never tire in
believing that it is. Love is a nice feeling, I think. I don't know.
Hell, does anyone? I'm not a skeptic... or am I? Inside, I am an optimist,
but it seems when I convey my thoughts it all comes out pessimistic... is
that odd??????
"Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern; but I
should suffer the miseries of the devil were I to make a whore
of my soul."
-Thomas Paine
The world... it's not one. How many people are on this earth?
Probably a zillion... so no, it will never be one. However, you see the
world is how it is. Yet everyone is different.
Some people say they don't like their world. I had a dear friend who
told me something very simple and yet I never even paused to ponder it...
"You say you don't like your world... so change it." (thanks jeff). Change
is hard. But the world is what you want it to be. It's not fair, it's not
unfair. It's not cruel, it's not loving. It's whatever you see it as. And
I am just so sick of all these people who sit around complaining because
they don't know how to handle their world.
Everyone wants to do everything everyone elses way. I mean, call me
crazy, but shouldn't you do what makes you happy and tell the rest of the
world to fuck off? I know that's what I do. It's not that I don't listen
to constructive criticism, I do. But if someone tells me something I don't
agree with, I don't waste my time analyzing it. If I think it's bullshit,
why go on and on about it.
Religion is a big issue... I won't go into it hardcore, but if you
don't agree with something, why waste your time? I guess I just think you
should do what makes you happy no matter what the outcome. You can't live
life thinking what 'would might've happened.'
And that, my friends, is my two cents worth!
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. anada 111 by Chkristy (c)2000 anada e'zine .
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