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*****###****###***********************************************###**#**##****
## ## ### I S S U E # 0 8 0 0 6 - 1 6 - 0 0 ### ####
### # ### #######
#### ### "PH" ###
####### by Effy
####
Author's note: Hey people! Here is the tablature to the ORIGINAL PH SONG.
That's right. It's the uncut, uncensored, demoralized
version of this legendary ballad. A sure hit as a campfire
tune, and a perpetual riot at any rock concert. Enjoy.
(you will need three people to sing the lyrics)
(use plastic popcorn container as a drum)
Boom boom boom boom duhhhhhhhhh....
(tune guitar down 1/2 step!)
I AM PH WOMAN!!!
(E)
We went my house
one phine autumn day
blasPHemy!
(Am)
with a ph!
and another ph!
(E)
We went to dubuque
to the mall
to the phood court
(Am)
WIT A PH!!!
(E)
we sat down
and first we got some shakes
they were phun shakes
(Am)
WIT A PH!!!
(E)
We were watching phat dancers
(Am)
wit a ph!!!
(E)
IT REALLY PHUCKEN SUCKED
(Am)
wit a PH!!!
anyway...
(E)
we smoked a couple cigarettes
we burnt your nose hairs
that really hurt
I used a straw too
(randomly rake pick across strings)
Boy did you EVER
your MOM
do it AGAIN
eh eh eh arrrarr!!!
(E)
It was lots of phun
(Am)
WIT A PH!!!
(E)
and very phly
(Am)
wit a PH!!!
(E)
anyway, we cruised the mall (cha cha chaaa)
(Am)
wit no ph!!!
(E)
we went to moondog
it really sucked (wit a ph)
they said you had to be 21 to go to the concert
we were MAD
I felt like a phool
(Am)
WIT A PH!!!
because of them fags
(that had a ph too, ya know...
yeah, well...)
(randomly spasmastic raping of the strings)
Boy did it ever!!!@#
your MOM!!!
do it again!!!
eh ehe earrrraer!!!
(E)
Then we got cappuccino
at take phive video
(or whatever that place is.)
it had LOTS OF PHOAM!!!!
(Am)
wit a PH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(phoam wit a ph!)
(stick the guitar neck up your friend's ass and make him/her strum with
his/her intestine)
MY MOM HAS A PHD IN PHOAM!!!
WIT A PH!!!
boy does she ever.
your mom???
do it again!
ehehe arrra ra;r je!@!#!
(E)
Then...we went out
to the party in Burton
it really phucken sucked
(am)
WIT A PH!!!
(E)
we saw jesse buttcheese
he was drunk off his arse
he was reeeeally phucked up
(Am)
WIT A PH!!!
(E)
they were all phools
it wasn't too phat
it wasn't much phun
(Am)
witout a PH!
(E)
Head got us vodka
cuz he's old enuph
he's really phrooty
(Am)
wit a ph!!!
(knock your friend's front teeth out and use them for the desired picking
effect)
boy is he ever!
your mom?...no, head!
do it again!!!
ehehehea arrrrrgh a l;sdjkfl;askj!#@$%!^%@%@%#@!!
(E)
We went back to niki's
aleda drank some vodka
and watched Pink PHloyd
(Am)
WIT A PH!
(E)
she got really sick
and puked all over
the phumes were phreak nasty
(Am)
WIT A PH!!
(lubricate the strings with the blood of your friend's gums and play any
sort of sliding power chord transition)
boy was it ever
DON'T do it again!
your mom?!
she would be mad!
(E)
Now it is the end
now it's time to go
deez eez da phinish phoo.
(doot doot doot ggooot)
(Am)
WIT A PH!@$#@!$@!!!
(go out to the road and dismember a raccoon with your guitar, it's a piece
of shit anyway)
boy is it EVER.
your mom?
do it again.
(doot doot doot DOOT)
Uh...hope you liked our song...hope it wasn't too
disappointing...we will see you on tour....*growl*
uhhh...take it easy!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH* *PH*PH*
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# (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda080 .*. by Effy #
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