💾 Archived View for gemini.theuse.net › textfiles.com › uploads › plunge.txt captured on 2022-01-08 at 21:03:40.

View Raw

More Information

-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Fucking your plunger
There are many ways to have sex with a plunger. It doesn't matter if you are 
a
girl or a guy, you too can have the fun of having a special relationship 
with
your plunger.

THE METHODS:
A) Through The Anus
Both men and women can enjoy this method. (Which, my dad taught me!) Now, 
make
sure you have a bottle of vaseline. Ok, after you've purchased your bottle 
of
vaseline, go to a private room and lock the door. (Or leave it unlocked if, 
for
some reason, you want to be caught. freak.) Take off you pants and remove 
your
undergarments (if any) and put on some nice mood music. I suggest Marvin 
Gaye
or the Misfits, preferably the Misfits. After you've done that, take the 
vasel-
ine and rub up and down and all around the handle of the plunger. (And 
anywhere
else you want to rub it on.) Procede to lay on your back. Lift your legs up 
in
the air or back by your head. Be sure to secure your knees when they are 
held
or back because this next part is going to sting! (So i've been told.) Begin 
to
let the handle of the plunger penetrate your rectum. You are going to have 
to
feel through the pain. If you are a homosexual you may even think this 
tickles.
Let the plunger go in as deep as you can handle it. Begin to push and pull 
the
the handle back and forth. Ignore the squish sounds. They probably aren't
healthy, but your sticking a motherfucking plunger in your ass so what the 
fuck
were you expecting?!?! Now, while doing this begin stroking your cock or
rubbing your vagina (or both!) until you get off and then dismount the 
handle
and repeat until you are satisfied.

B) In The Vagina:
If your a girl, and you wish to insert the handle into your vagina, follow
these instructions. Insert the the handle of the plunger into your vagina.
Treat it like a penis. There is no need for vaseline. You see, when you 
start
to stimulate your clitoris, girls, you will start to secrete vaginal fluids.
You can use these fluids to make the insertion and desertion of the handle 
more
smoothly. Let it poke your clitoris until you lose control of your emotion 
and
then  pull the handle out and start again when you feel like it.  Be sure to
wash the yucky pussy juices off the handle, because that's gross! (And 
fucking
a plunger is not!)

C) With Your Penis
This one actually involves the plunging part of the plunger. Make sure your
plunger is not a used one because that would be fucking gross. (As opposed 
to
fucking a plunger to begin with!) Watch some pornography or think about a 
hot
bitch with a loose pussy that snaps. (When a vagina "snaps," that means the
muscle control in this vagina is so strong it can grab the scrotum and pull 
on
it without her whole body moving. Now, let me tell you, these snapping 
vaginas
are very rare and special. If you ever see one, (You know, outside cutting
grass or catching small animals by their tails.) fuck it immediately! Well
anyway, when you feel your aroused, take your plunger and being plunging on 
the
whole groin area. Suction out all the air till is nice and tight on your 
balls.
(Watch out, your meats can only take seven pounds of pressure before your 
sick
perversion becomes a fucked up accident.) After you feel you have pulled 
enough
air from the area begin humping it. (Like your mom.) If you break the seal,
don't worry just repump the plunger. NOTE: If you have a penis over one 
inch.
You will need to cut a whole on the end of the plunger small enough so there 
is
no air that can escape. (If you make to whole too big, fill the excess with
tissues.) Now, you have a tight suction on your balls and a tight hole to 
fuck.
(kinda like popping a cherry with another bitch sucking your balls.!)

Now let is be known I have never had sexual relations with my plunger. I sat
down one day and decided to think how it could be possible to fuck a 
plunger.
Enjoy and don't get caught or something!