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WAYS TO MAKE THE DICE ROLL HIGH NUMBERS
"Its not the number of dice you have.
Its the number on the dice you roll."
Mathematical nerds would have you believe in the laws of
probability. Equal probability, bell curves, and averages are
supposedly how the dice work. Of course, they are all fools. There
exists many ways to "charge" the dice with positive energy to get the
good rolls you want.
Dice tend to accumulate positive and negative energy. Positive
energy gives good rolls and negative energy gives bad rolls.
Another key to good dice rolls is mental thought. The mind can
generate powerful mental waves that can control the roll of the dice.
The will of the roller is one of the best techniques for dice rolling.
The singular "a die" is used when providing information however most
information pertains to the plurar "dice" as well.
Some suggestions are in conflict with other suggestions. Choose
the ones that work best for you and ignore the other ones.
WHEN PURCHASING DICE
The first set of dice you purchase will be the most lucky no matter how
old and decrepted they get.
When purchasing a die, roll as many dice of that type as many times as
possible. Usually, you should use a minimum number of dice as there are
sides to one of the die (i.e. 6 dice for 6-siders) AND a maximum number
of dice that you can get your hands on. Usually, you should roll a
minimum number of times as there are sides to one of the die (i.e. 6
times for 6-siders) AND a maximum number of times until the store
employees ask that you quit.
When purchasing a crystal die, try to get one with air bubbles in it.
They work better.
WHEN NOT USING DICE OUTSIDE GAME PLAY
When not playing, keep the die with you wherever you go so it will bond
with you and thus give you higher rolls.
When not playing, hide the die so nobody can ruin them.
WHEN NOT USING DICE DURING GAME PLAY
When not using dice, line them up from largest to smallest or from
smallest to largest. This allows the positive energy to flow evenly
through the dice.
When not using a die, have the highest number facing up. The energy to
roll the high number may flow upward.
When not using a die, have the highest number facing down. The energy
to roll the high number may flow downward.
When not using a die, don't let different colors touch.
When not using a die, leave it jumbled with the other dice. Random
organization gives totally random results.
BEFORE ROLLING DICE
Before rolling a die, chant. Chanting will ease unlucky spirits.
Before rolling a die, ask a philosophical rhetorical question such as
"What if I needed a (the number you want)?" Dice seem to respect
philosophical people because they feel that they are on the same
intellectual plane of consciousness.
Before rolling a die, say "this one's for..." and name a person, place or
thing. The diew may give a better roll if it thinks it's for somebody other
than you.
Before rolling a die, pray to whatever god you wish to guide the die.
If praying to a god for a good die roll is a tad blaspheme or evil to
your religious beliefs, then just pick a fictitious deity of luck and
ask him to guide the die (that would be more fun anyway).
Before rolling a die, kiss it. If the die is sentient, it will know you
care and thus give you better results.
Before rolling a die, burp, fart, or do some other disgusting thing to
it just to show the die who is in charge. Humiliation is great
incentive for a die.
Before rolling a die, place it in a body cavity such as an ear, nose,
mouth, or worse. Then you should begin to tremble while humming before
releasing the die. This will charge the die with your own personal
postive life-force energy.
Before rolling a die, twist it so that the positive energy is squeezed
out to the sides where it is need most.
Before rolling a die, the longer you shake it the more random the
result.
WHEN ROLLING DICE
When rolling a die, always roll it the same way.
When rolling a die, put a "back-roll" spin on the die when releasing.
This causes the die to roll back towards you releasing negative energy.
When rolling a die, spin it on one of its corners like a top. The
longer it spins, the better the roll as it absorbs positive energy.
When rolling a die, follow through with the roll as if you're weilding a
weapon in an attack.
When rolling a die, shake the die in your palms, then toss it by
pushing the top palm away from yourself. Topping it off with a strong
comment like "Halelujah" also helps.
WHEN ROLLING DICE (ELEMENTAL POWER)
Rolling a die near a lit candle will give the die the power of elemental
fire. If you can roll the die through the flame, it will
receive more elemental power.
Rolling a die through water will give the die the power of elemental
water. If you store the die in water before rolling it, it will receive
more elemental power.
Rolling a die with rocks will give the die the power of elemental
earth. If you rough-up the die with rocks prior to use, it will
receive more elemental power.
Rolling a die upwards into the sky will give the die the power of
elemental air. If you blow on the die before rolling it, it will
receive more elemental power.
Rolling a die with ice will give the die the power of elemental ice. If
you freeze the die before the game, it will receive more elemental
power.
WHILE A DIE IS ROLLING
While a die is rolling, look away or you might accidently move it via
telekinesis.
While a die is rolling, concentrate on the number you require to get it
via telekinesis.
ITEMS TO USE WITH DICE
Place the die in a microwave for a number of seconds equal to the
highest score. The microwaves will super charge the die with techo-
energy. Note that metallic dice should NOT be used; only plastic dice.
Also note that your dice could melt (especially 100-sided dice).
When not in use, keep the dice in the freezer to keep them cool. Cool dice
give cool rolls.
When not in use, place a die in a pyramid. A pyramid focuses positive
energy.
When not in use, dunk the die in alcohol (preferably expensive) so it may
lose its seriousness and act in a more fun manner.
When not in use, place a die with a crystal. A crystal captures
positive energy and will conduct it to the die.
When not in use, place a die in the center of a pentagram which is in
a circle. All gamers should already know the great energy that a
pentagram can draw.
When not in use, place a die with lucky items such as a lucky coin,
rabbit's foot, four-leaf clover, luck stones, or runes.
When not in use, place the die amongst dead insects. The life energy of
the insects will be absorbed into the die.
When not in use, guard a die from evil energy with some form of
guardian such as a favorite miniature or stuffed animal.
Before rolling a die, shake it in a special cup so the die doesn't come
into direct contact with you. You may be accidently sending out
negative energy that could directly influence the die roll. A cup will
screen this out. Note that the more exotic the cup, the better the roll
seems to be. A tankard is recommended.
When rolling a die, roll the die on/in some type of special surface or
container such as a mat or box. A familiar dice area will bring better
results because the dice will consider it a safe haven (like their
storage home). A computer mouse pad is a good example of a mat.
OTHER HELPFUL HINTS
Roll a die until you get a series of low scores to rid the die of bad
rolls. Then during the game, the die will roll a series of high
numbers.
Never use the same die in succession. Rotate the die with dice of the
same type.
Never let another person touch or use your die. Never touch or use
somebody elses die.
Always keep a set of special dice (one for each type) set aside for
special rolls that must succeed. These dice should only be used a
couple of times during a session. Also, nobody should come in contact
with them except for the owner.
Pick a die out for a certain task and only use it for a certain task
(examples: initiative, damage, to-hit, saves, proficiency checks,
etc.). Nobody likes to change jobs all the time and a die is no
different. A die that knows what it is suppose to do will tend to do it
more often then not.
If a die fails to give satisfactory results after a couple game sessions,
it must be punished. There are many ways to punish the die. Some
examples: throw the die very hard into something very hard, ostracize
it from the other dice, stick it in the washing machine.
If a die fails to give satisfactory results after a few game sessions,
it must be banished to a lonley place such as a drawer. It may come back in
a few weeks, months, or years (depending on the level of offense) if it
straightens up.
If a die fails to give satisfactory results after many game sessions,
it must be destroyed as an "example" to the other dice. All the other
dice should be lined up with their high number facing the guilty die.
Then the guilty die should be destroyed by any means necessary although
a sledge hammer followed by melting it down is recommended. Typically,
the other dice will be scared enough to behave properly for awhile at
least. The tool of destruction and even the destroyed die should be
kept nearby as a reminder.
A die that is deemed lucky should be named. Without recognition, the
die may fail you.
If a die showed outstanding achievement that can only be classified as
phenomenal (i.e. so lucky that it is eerie), then the die must be
preserved and enter royalty status. First, the die must be entrusted to
a guardian. Then it should be placed in a special container like a
velvet-lined ebony box. If you have more than one special die, then they
all may be placed in the container. The container should be engraved
with something fitting like "Die of Champions". Of course, the container
must have a lock and at least two keys so if one key-keeper goes mad
then there is a backup. The container should be stored in a secure place
like a safe or a safety-deposit box. Only during critical gaming sessions
may the container be unlocked and the special die used and then only
during crucial moments. To decide if the die should be used, the group
should vote and only by an unanimous decision can the die be used.
When the die is removed from the container, it can only be handled
by a person wearing gloves (preferably fine material like silk or leather).
The die should only be rolled on fine material like an ivory plaque.
After its use, it should be returned to its container.
*** DISCLAIMER ***
Information presented in this article is for amusement only.
Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or
legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or
hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful
guidance. Any damage caused do to information presented here is the
fault of the person(s) who did the damage. Any wrath of your god(s) do to
this article is also not the fault of the author. Dangerous power
surges or accidental psionic ability is also not the fault of the
author.
P.S.
How do you win at a Role Playing Game?
If you roll a die and it lands on and ege or point, you've wone the game.
You may no longer play that RPG anymore.
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