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My hopes for this pod

Published at: 2021-05-06

I have an urge to write and at the same time a huge aversion to it. Sounds like a cliché, but seeing an empty text editor really does freeze my brain. I get anxious about "messing it up" somehow, followed by an overwhelming urge to go and research my chosen subject some more. This research usually starts with learning interesting stuff, but inevitably ends with me watching random stream of youtube videos. Not that there's something fundamentally wrong with watching youtube or procrastinating in general, but it's a consuming activity, as opposed to a creative one which I set out to do.

Add a slight dose of perfectionism to the "getting started" anxiety and you have a recipe for leaving projects unfinished.

Setting up this gemini pod was a challenge. Opportunities for distractions were abundant, but I demonstrably managed to start to wiring (even before getting everything else completely set up 😱️). So in a way picking gemini has already yielded positive results. One benefit is protocol's simplicity: there's just less things to think about. You should have seen me trying to pick a CSS color scheme for a previous project's website. It's an afternoon I'll never get back.

That's my first hope for this pod: to get me writing. It's probably too much to expect daily updates, but one log per week sounds achievable. I don't really care about goals and quotas, I'm doing this for fun after all, but I'd like it to grow into a habit.

Secondly, I kinda hope that keeping a log in this format will help me persevere with my other creative projects. The idea here is that if I start writing about them and discussing them "publicly" I'll get more committed to finishing them. My usual MO is getting interested in a subject or technology, followed by a week or two of frantic development and sleepless nights before I lose interest and just abandon it all. I'd like to some day actually finish one of them.

Alas, if I'm ever to actually publish this I should stop redrafting and editing and get on with it. Ctrl+S, here I come.