💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ebooks › bofh › newbofh › bofh31jan.txt captured on 2022-01-08 at 14:13:47.
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
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TThhee BBaassttaarrdd OOppeerraattoorr FFrroomm HHeellll
TThhee BBaassttaarrdd OOppeerraattoorr FFrroomm HHeellll mmeeeettss hhiiss mmaattcchh,, bbuutt kkeeeeppss aa hhoolldd ......
jjuusstt ......
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Things seem to be working out OK with my pimply-faced-youth trainee,
surprisingly enough. He's keen to please, but I'll cure that in a couple
of weeks after exposure to some of the more demanding clients ...
Speaking of exposure and clients, one of our more annoying ones resigned
recently after some rather personal images were left in the memory of
the "loaner" digital camera. It's all very strange too, as the erase
function was working perfectly when I 'serviced' the camera a week ago.
The incident would've been less severe had the finder of the images not
downloaded one into the Windows Start-up Screen of everyone on his
floor. The victim claimed in his defence, of course, that the image had
been touched up, but consensus of opinion was that it wasn't the image
that was getting that treatment. Dirty sod.
PFY is concerned, and obviously needs counselling about it.
"What's the problem?", I ask.
"Well, it's just that I don't understand how the image could have got
onto all those PCs".
"I see. I guess someone managed to break into the application server and
forced it to upload it to certain desktops".
"But the server is protected by a password and so is the version control
program, so how did they get in?"
"Someone must have found out the passwords", I reply, waiting for the
inevitable.
"But only you and I know the passwords, and I only found out yesterday".
"Did you write the passwords down?"
"Well yes, but they're locked in my drawer".
I shake my head sadly. "And who has keys to your drawer?", I ask.
"Just you and me".
"And did you do it?"
"No".
"Then, by a process of elimination, it must have been me that opened
your drawer, read your passwords and logged into the server as you".
"You did it?!"
"Of course. You don't think anyone else in the department could, do you?
Hell, the only other person with overriding access is the system
manager, and he's so slow he needs a tow-rope!"
"Why did you do it?"
"Because you needed to learn the value of security. I'm sure that piece
of knowledge will serve you well in your next job which will probably
start sometime after tomorrow".
"B..b..b"
"No use butting".
"But, I was going to say that surely you're not going to make me tell
Uncle Brian this was my fault, are you?"
Warning Bells On!
"Uncle Brian?"
"Uncle Brian, you know, on the 6th floor. The big office with the
leather furniture. I'd hate to disagree with your report to the CEO".
UNCLE Brian ... Uncle Brian, the CEO. I should have known that this
wasn't a run-of-the-mill shafting. This was big-time.
"Well, perhaps it's best to put it down to some outside hacker", I say,
in what I believe to be a kindly manner.
"Or some inside hacker ...".
PFY smiles, looking menacing.
The sneaky bastard! Perhaps he has potential after all!
"... like our Boss", he adds, letting me off the hook entirely.
There but for the grace of god ...
"OK", I say, seizing the opportunity before he can realise the enormous
potential of blackmail. "You tell Uncle Brian and I'll slip your keys
into the top desk of his drawer".
"Done!"
Ten minutes later we watch on with interest and sugary donuts as yet
another boss is escorted from the hallowed halls of hell.
"You realise he was the one that got you this job", I say.
"Yeah, but no point in being sentimental", he replies.
Definite Potential.
"Right, what shall we do now?" he asks, keen to learn.
"Well, I think it's about time we pull the plug on a remote site, then
phone them to tell them it's because the labels on their EPROMs have
expired and they need to remove them in a well-lit area, like some
bright sunshine .".
"Won't that ...?"
"Yup."
"Let's do it".
You can't PAY for a job like this ...
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