💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ebooks › bofh › bofh › bofh2.txt captured on 2021-12-17 at 13:26:06.

View Raw

More Information

⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

                     TThhee BBaassttaarrdd OOppeerraattoorr FFrroomm HHeellll
                     BBaassttaarrdd OOppeerraattoorr FFrroomm HHeellll ##22
========================================================================
I'm sitting at the desk, playing x-tank, when some thoughtless bastard
rings me on the phone. I pick it up.
"Hello?" I say.
"Who is this?" they say
"It's me I think" I say, having successfully attended a telephone skills
course
"Me Who?"
"Is this like a knock knock joke?" I say, trying anything to save myself
having to end this game.
Too LATE! I get killed.
Now I'm pissed!
"What can I do for you?" I ask pleasantly - (one of the key warning
signs)
"Um, I want to know if we have a particular software package.."
"Which package is that?"
"Uh, B-A-S-I-C it's called."
>clickety clickety d-e-l b-a-s-i-c.e-x-e<
"Um no, we don't have that. We used to though.."
"oh. Oh well, the other thing I wanted to know was, could the contents
of my account be copied to tape to I have a permanent copy of them to
save at home in case the worst happens.."
"The worst?"
"Well, like they get deleted or something..."
"DELETED! Oh, don't worry about that, we have backups!" (I'm such a

	
shit*) "What was your username?"

He gives me his lusername. (What an idiot)
>clickety click<
"But you haven't got any files in your account!" I say, mock surprise
leaping from my vocal chords.
"Yes I have, you must be looking in the wrong place!"
So first he spoils my x-tank game, and *now* he's calling me a liar...
>clickety click<
"Oh no, I made a mistake" I say
Did he mutter "typical" under his breath??!? Oh dear, oh dear..
"I MEANT TO SAY: That USERNAME doesn't exist"
"Huh? >wimper< It must do, I was only using it this morning!"
"Ah well, that'll be the problem, there was a virus in our system this
morning, the... uh... DE VINCI Virus, wipes out users who are logged in
when it goes off."
"That can't be right, my girlfriend was logged in, and I'm in her
account now!"
"Which one was that?"
He tells me the username. Some people NEVER learn..
"Oh, yeah, her account was just after we discovered the virus."...
>clickety click< "..she only lost all her files"
"But..."
"But don't worry, we've got them all on tape"
"Oh, thank goodness!!!"
"Paper tape. Have you got a magnifying glass and a pencil? SEE YOU IN
THE MACHINE ROOM!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!"
I'm such a prick!
========================================================================
                           Previous : _B_O_F_H_ _#_1
                             Next : _B_O_F_H_ _#_3
                       Back to _T_h_e_ _B_a_s_t_a_r_d_ _M_e_n_u.