💾 Archived View for quasivoid.net › gemlog › 2021-05-07-growth.gmi captured on 2021-12-06 at 14:29:53. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
My brother firmly declares that he hates anime, so I made him watch (a rewatch for me) Madoka Magica with me. He come out the other end of Rebellion saying "that was very good" and some very strong opinions. He feels sorry for the Incubators. I think he is just in his teen utilitarian phase.
Anyways, the last time I watched Madoka was a couple of years ago. There's not much of a point in me writing about how I feel about the series as a whole but I do feel differently about some of the characters and their motivations now. In particular, Homura is based as fuck, whereas I felt somewhere between the opposite to uncertain the first time. While the end of Rebellion is left open (and there is apparently a fourth movie finally coming after eight years, although no ETA has been announced), I now feel that it has a truly positive resolution.
Kyoukos motivation is much more tangible to me now as well. She recognizes that she got the short end of the stick, and makes the best of it for herself, the only person there is after being alienated from everyone else. She finds someone she pities and soon cares about, and it quickly becomes apparent that what appears at the surface level to be hostility is a genuine attempt at helping them deal with receiving the same fate.
(webm) spoilers this scene is from the latter half of Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Rebellion
Godspeed You! Black Emperor has recently released a new album titled G_d's Pee AT STATE'S END!, and black midi is about to release Cavalcade. With these releases, they have scheduled tour dates. The first time I've seen any real concerts announced in a long time.
I've got a troupe of boys locked in for both shows. I've missed Godspeed twice, once due to psyching myself out for utterly inexplicable reasons, and the second because it conflicted with something else. So finally, after three years, I'll finally be able to see them. Unless somebody I am relying on seriously fucks up. Hopefully that doesn't happen.
This will be my second time seeing black midi, after having seen them during their Schlagenheim tour. The last time was one of the three most memorable concerts I'd ever been to, alongside Earths' live score of Häxan and Kero Kero Bonitos 2019 Halloween show. Images of the pit flood my thoughts. I am amped several months too early.
I have been doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. In one sense I've been enjoying it, I've been relaxed and am just vibing. On the other hand, I am very aware of the looming threat of crashing into the wall which I am hurtling towards. There are split seconds of panic before I dismiss its presence.
The beginning of lockdown was the first time I was ever able to finish any major programming projects, having had all my energy zapped from me by highschool. They weren't particularly good, but they were the most I had done in several years at that point. I never had the energy to dedicate to improving my engineering and construction skills, although I have become very good at the mathematical aspect of programming.
A couple weeks ago I was spending all day every day with Emacs open working on various projects in Racket. None of them got anywhere. I hit dead end after dead end. After a massive time sink, I gave up and haven't gotten near programming for a while. Dead space.
I want to go through the K&R C book soon, now that I have a huge void in my activity. I haven't done anything low level since I had my first exposure to computer programming by the same book way before I had the cognitive ability to use it effectively.
Whoops, I broke a rule. I'm not supposed to talk about boring things like computers on this log. Don't expect it to come up again for a while.