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Day 41 - Sant Gaitetà with the Barnhouse Family

The subject slept until 1:30, ate, and was a bit fussy so off I went to the

living area so that F could sleep a bit. We spent a difficult 3 hours together.

I couldn't calm her down for the life of me.

I danced, I rocked her, I used the exercise ball, I walked, I gave her my finger

to suck on, every solution was only temporary until we needed to go to the next

one. Even in this somewhat desperate state, I love her so much and find her so

beautiful and perfect.

Then F got up and got a bit mad that I was doing all of this, Sol was still not

calm, and I didn't wake her up earlier. The subject's well-being is the most

important thing, and feeding her would surely soothe her. But it can be only

momentarily and has been like that at times. And in the end, it is for the

subject's sake that the Caretakers have their rest. We will better attend to her

needs the better rested we are.

We went to the Rock of Sant Gaietà again with the folks from the Mountain

Barnhouse and Sol and then to Highleaf where we had ice cream. Then back to the

tenements to play some Telefunken. I won!

I have to be honest about something. About the frenulum after-care. I hate it.

I'm not sure I can do it much longer. I don't even know if we're doing it

correctly. I hate how the subject cries and screams. I hate how it I'm

inflicting pain on her. It's true, as F points out, that she recovers from this

quicker every day, which means it's probably not that great of a suffering, but

it still gets to me.

And at night. Damn it. Sol was fine, she was sleeping very well. But me and F...

we were supposed to go to the Hellenic Section in two days and we just realized we

need and ID for the subject. We thought the Family Book would be suficient. So

we managed to get an appointment to make this ID for the next day. It was not

easy at all. Now we need a place to get a proper ID photograph of the subject

before 9.30... Fingers crossed!