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_____________________________ST JOHN KARP_____________________________
__________________Ramblings of an Ornamental Hermit___________________
2021-02-13
What do you get when you mix horror with romantic comedy? Look, don't judge me too harshly for this one, I needed something to get Parker back for last week when he subjected me to some damp bit of toilet tissue called "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" (1997). Then a coworker dropped this gem on me --- "My Demon Lover" (1987), a goofy horror rom-com dripping with the juices of the 80s.
Denny in her 80s gear while her flat gets robbed.
Denny is an endearingly clueless mooncalf who has terrible taste in men. She comes back from doing the grocery shopping to find that her boyfriend is burgling her apartment.
Me: Not gonna lie, I unironically like her outfit.
Parker: It's awful. She thinks she's Annie Hall.
Me: Are we allowed to like "Annie Hall" any more? Or is whatsisname cancelled now?
Yeah that's right, I'm busting out the tough questions before we've even got started with this trashy 80s movie. For what it's worth I think "Annie Hall" will always be a masterpiece however much we want to bury its writer/director. Parker makes a good point though --- Diane Keaton she ain't.
Kaz on the subway with a saxophone.
Meanwhile Kaz, a bum, goes around New York being dirty and hyperactive and letching on every woman he can. What a catch, right? He's the gross hobo boyfriend I never knew I wanted. Apparently this actor was hot property in the 80s for a TV show called "Family Ties", although I can't say that I've seen it. I invested all my 80s goodness in "M\*A\*S\*H", I don't have time to be farting around with every semi-heartthrob who wants to pop up in a rom-com. My heart already belongs to Alan Alda. Deal with it, Kaz, if that even is your real name.
Kaz and Denny meet when Kaz wakes up in a big pile of garbage, steals Denny's lunch, then spits it out all over her because it's not what he was expecting. Denny finds this charming and decides to go out with him.
Kaz's ex-girlfriend's grandmother puts a curse on him.
A street mountebank uses a doorknob as a crystal ball to summon up a flashback of Kaz as a teenager making out with some girl. When the girl's Gypsy grandmother catches them she puts a curse on Kaz by shouting "Pazatski!" and pointing at him with lightning. Now he's not possessed, he's "pazatsed" so that every time he gets sexually aroused the demon takes over and... Why am I even writing this down? What is my life now?
The demon can take a number of forms, I guess, but the one we all come to know and love is the letchy Buddha with bat ears and droopy tits.
Kaz is worried that when he turns into a demon he goes around the streets of New York murdering women, but it turns out the Pazatski demon is actually an all right bloke and he uses his super powers to stop the real killer. Of course he has to get turned on first, so Denny's best friend has sex with him in order to turn Kaz into a demon and save Denny. Denny is understandably miffed at being saved in this way.
"I ate a fruit burger??"
This movie has a seriously bonkers plot, and you're either going to enjoy how silly the whole thing is or you're not. For my money the script is snappy, the dialogue is funny, the actors do a great job of selling it, and I wasn't bored for a second. You won't know where this movie is going and you won't care, just enjoy the ride.
