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Yes, there is a kinder way to tell someone they re fired

You have an under-performing employee and it s time to let them go. What s the

best way to deliver the news?

By Elizabeth Garone

24 April 2016

An employee steals something or is caught in a terrible lie. It s clearly time

to sack them. But what about a worker who hasn t made an egregious mistake?

Before you sack someone, make sure that you have done everything possible as a

manager to develop their skills

What if someone isn t an untruthful or malicious person but just doesn t have

the right skills or aptitude for the role, is the wrong fit, or needs to be let

go due to layoffs? Are there particular words or times that are better than

others to deliver the news? And is there anything you can do to soften the

blow?

Firing someone is never easy because [it] impacts individuals, families,

workplaces and communities, said Chicago-based global executive leadership

coach Alicia Bassuk in an email. But she said sometimes it s just inevitable.

Do the right thing

Before you sack someone, make sure that you have done everything possible as a

manager to develop their skills, said Bassuk. And, consult human resources to

ensure you re following the right process.

If it seems like they don't get it , then they probably don t, she said.

Give them the benefit of the doubt that if they had that skill, they would be

using it. Teach them that skill by taking the time to mentor them through it

step-by-step with your full attention.

If things still aren t working out, then it will be clear that it is time to

part ways. That way, you can sleep well at night knowing you did the right

thing, said Bassuk.

What versus how

For a lot of managers, getting rid of an employee is very stressful and not

something they are skilled at doing. But it s important to remember that there

is a difference between what you do and how you do it, according to Robert

Sutton, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss and a Stanford University professor of

management science and engineering. It is important to help people understand

why it is necessary, he said, that it s justifiable, not just a crazy leader

doing it.

It is important to help people understand why it is necessary

One of the worst parts of losing a job is the loss of control one feels, said

Sutton. While you might not be able to give a worker control over whether they

lose their job, they can be involved with figuring out how the process unfolds,

the when and how they go, he said.

Behaviour problems

Even if the reason for being fired relates to the employee s behaviour, don t

use the meeting as an opportunity to blame them. It may be tempting to do so

and to say everything you always wanted to say. This can be seen as

justification and you do not have to justify yourself, said Jorg Stegemann,

head of Kennedy Executive Search with offices in Amsterdam, Copenhagen,

Frankfurt, London, Milan, Paris and Prague.

By the time you get to this meeting, there should already be well-documented

evidence that the person isn t working out in the position. If something goes

wrong, always keep a written trace (record) and not just a verbal one, said

Stegemann.

He recommends sending emails that clearly document the problems. For example:

You have come late to work for the second time this week. This jeopardises the

production and results of the team. Please make sure you arrive on time or we

will have to take disciplinary actions. You are a loyal employee and we count

on you. This way, the employee cannot say I did not know , said Stegemann.

Keep it short and sweet

You don t want the meeting to drag on. You can always turn to human resources

for help with the preferred language to keep that conversation focused as well

as help with any rules or steps they want you to follow. Don t confuse the

conversation about being fired with feedback, said Bassuk. Once the decision

has been made, it is too late for feedback.

It is too late for feedback

Make it short, swift and clean, said Stegemann. Avoid something like, You

know, it hasn t been easy for all of us... This is an unnecessary torture for

the employee and may leave them unclear on what you are actually telling them.

Stegemann instead starts with, I am very sorry, [insert name], but I have to

dismiss you today . Then he pauses and counts to five so the employee can

digest what he just told them. Then, he explains it in more detail.

Don t do it alone

Stegemann said he has seen everything from tears to people yelling at him

during a sacking. So, it is better not to hold a meeting like this alone. Take

another manager, preferably a human resources manager, with you in case

something out of the ordinary happens, he said. It might become emotional and

you never know how [the person] will react.