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Mark Goulston
Conflict often brings out the worst in us: Our emotions cloud our judgment, and
we focus on airing our grievances rather than finding answers to problems. But
if we pay close attention to how we communicate, we can correct
misunderstandings, preserve important relationships, and work more effectively
with others. Take this assessment to see how well you communicate during
conflict and how you could improve.
How often is each of the following statements true?
When I m upset with someone at work, I let that person know.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
I ask colleagues to either stop or change their behavior if it s bothering me.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
When I disagree with someone, I hint at it rather than objecting outright.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
I admit when I do not fully understand a colleague s argument and speak up when
I feel that I ve been misunderstood.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
Before raising an issue, I figure out when the other person will be most
receptive to what I have to say.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
If I initiate a difficult conversation, I try to have the last word.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
I give people time to take in what I ve said and respond thoughtfully.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
During important or tense conversations, I speak before I think.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
I try not to interrupt others when they re responding to my concerns.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
When someone shares an opposing opinion, I ask a lot of questions in an effort
to understand better.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
Once I ve reached a decision, I stick with it.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
When caught in a stalemate, I ask a neutral third party to weigh in.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
People say they can t tell when something matters to me.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
I know when to walk away from an argument.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
When I disagree with people, I make an effort to put myself in their shoes.
Never Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always
Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. is a business psychiatrist, executive advisor,
keynote speaker, and CEO and Founder of the Goulston Group. He is the author of
Just Listen (Amacom, 2015) and co-author of Real Influence: Persuade Without
Pushing and Gain Without Giving In (Amacom, 2013). Contact him here.