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John Krich
Discretion is the better part of valour, or so Shakespeare wrote long before
the first business traveller stumbled up against the Chinese preoccupation with
saving face. In Asia, discretion is the better part of a way of life.
The same blunt speaking that works in the West can lead to roadblocks in the
East. Getting things off one s chest may enhance team building in New York or
Newcastle but upset harmony in Nanjing. Free speech as defined at Hyde Park
corner can be construed as foul speech in a Beijing boardroom.
There are always sensitive topics political, religious, cultural best left
unexplored when foreigners want to make the best impression. Yet defining those
topics can be challenging. Most Asian nations are far less homogenous than they
may appear, with a mix of competing ethnicities and religions.
But take heart, serial foot-in-mouthers and frequent faux pas flyers. Here
are the top ten commandments, some country-specific, some general, for how to
muffle and ultimately muzzle those no-nos of chitchat that can derail East-West
deals.
1) Thou shalt not let things get critical.
If you have something negative to say about the work of a new Asian colleague,
always couch it in the positive. In Japan I saw an American s key relationship
with a government official deteriorate because he publically told the fellow,
You don t know what you re talking about. , said Mark Michelson, chairman of
the Asia CEO Forum in Hong Kong. In any culture, you don t want to embarrass
anybody; it s better to be constructive. But in Asia, raising your voice or
pointing a finger can be especially disadvantageous.
2) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain (especially when it is not
your Lord).
In other words, do not criticise another s god. In India, there are three
opinions about religion: strong, stronger and strongest, said food critic
Marryam Reshi.
In some Muslim regions, such as parts of Malaysia, some religious authorities
say dogs are unclean and contact can be sinful. The sponsor of a recent
initiative for Muslim Malays to touch a dog was greeted with death threats.
3) Thou shalt not press hot buttons.
No matter how youthful the translator, or how hip-looking the chief executive
officer in China, remarks about the three t s that s Tibet, Taiwan and
Tiananmen will be construed as foreign interference, said Mike Chinoy, a
senior fellow at the US-China Institute. In addition, don t praise Japan in
Korea or praise China in Japan, wrote Micha Peled, the director of China Blue
and other documentaries, in an email. In the Philippines, don t joke about the
food or the Pope. For South Korea, mention of North Korea is not advised
either, e-mailed Nicholas Tse, general manager of the Seoul JW Marriott.
4) Thou shalt be politic about policies.
It s probably best not to mention the laws about caning in Singapore, said
Mitchell Farkas, head of China-based production company FarFilms. "An American
once remarked against the Bumiputra (Malay) allocations enshrined in the
Malaysian Constitution, forgetting the Native American reservation system is
similar, recalled A Najib Ariffin, director of Kuala Lumpur s Nusantara
Academy of Development, Geocultures and Ethnolinguistics. This upset the
hosts, who responded by simply retreating from any business with him. Another
hint e-mailed by filmmaker Micha Peled, In India, don t tell people the caste
system is backward or ask why they don t make peace with Pakistan already.
5) Thou shalt not be irreverant.
In Thailand, never make comments that could be construed as negative about the
current king, Bhumibol Adulyadej, or former royalty. Show respect at all times.
If you are prompted, just say he is a great man, said Peter Muennig, an
associate professor at the Mailman School of Public Health at New York s
Columbia University. Even before a royalist military coup, laws banning lese
majeste were seriously imposed. Anything perceived as an insult may offend your
hosts, and could put you in Thai prison.
Women wear hats with pictures of Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej. (Chumsak
Kanoknan/Getty)
Women wear hats with pictures of Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej. (Chumsak
Kanoknan/Getty)
6) Thou shalt not appear insensitive.
Ideas of proper looks and colleagues best features may vary greatly. Never
remark about a Japanese businessman s hair, warned anthropologist Meyumi Ono.
No jokes about baldness, toupees or thinning hair combed forward what the
Japanese call a barcode. Also don t bring up how people smell.
7) Thou shalt not presume when making compliments.
The most annoying thing for Marriott s Tse, who has Chinese heritage but was
raised in the United Kingdom, is when people say, You speak such good
English! . After all, the Asian across the table may have been born in the US
or UK, or extensively educated there. Condescension is a big problem, said
Michelson of Asia CEO Forum. People should try not to generalise about them
when talking with Asians.
Don't take the last steamed dumpling. (Thinkstock)
Don't take the last steamed dumpling. (Thinkstock)
8) Thou shalt mind your manners.
Flattering words in a toast can be undone because of poor form. Make sure when
clinking glasses, that you keep yours lower than your superior, reminded
anthropologist Ono. This is true in China, in particular. It is also important
to never refuse a delicacy offered, Ono added.
Yet show some restraint when it comes to certain food choices, said US-China
Institute s Chinoy, who has had much banqueting experience. Don t be the one
to take those last few dumplings off the plate your hosts will curse you for
having to order more. Don t leave chopsticks sticking upwards in rice. In
Korea and elsewhere, that looks like incense burned for the dead. But loudly
slurping soup, points out Michelson is viewed as a compliment.
9) Thou shalt not take yes for an answer.
In the end, the biggest problem may be less what you ve said than what your
Asian partners have left unclear. I heard of an executive who ultimately lost
his job because he thought a Korean company had said yes to selling a 51%
share when the yes only meant they understood the issue. said Chinoy, In
China, a quick no usually means they want you to offer more, either
officially or unofficially. But in Japan, Thailand and most Asian lands no
is a word never uttered. Instead, delays and excuses are considered more
polite. Sometimes the problem can be just getting an answer. In Thailand,
secretaries and assistants feel it s their job to always protect bosses,
said Briton Ian Semp, brand director of Bangkok s Pacific Beer & Beverage Co.
I ve been told even when I can see them at their desk that they aren t in
the office.
10) Better yet, thou shalt hit the mute.
In Hong Kong, where loud mobile phone conversations are the norm, the main
problem may be shouting your phone conversation over others. But in Japan, any
conversation on a mobile is considered a rude invasion of the public space,
said Ono. As in business conversations, silence is often preferable.
Westerners always think they have to fill that awkward pause, Michelson said.
But ultimately, things left unsaid have more value than what s said.