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--(y0lk)---------------------------------------------------------------------

y0lk #125: "damn cool nick" - by Mutter

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<7:15:40 pm -- direct approach>




	
DarkCrow_* ummm...you're using my nick.


	
DarkCrow* what?


	
DarkCrow_* you're using my irc nick and, if you don't mind I'd like it back.


	
DarkCrow_* change your nick


	
DarkCrow_* hello?!


	
DarkCrow* no


	
DarkCrow_* but that's my nick -- if you think you can just come along



and steal it you're wrong


	
DarkCrow* no I'm not.


	
DarkCrow_* I had it first!#@$


	
DarkCrow_* HELLO>?!@#


	
DarkCrow* yeah?


	
DarkCrow_* gimme back my nick


	
DarkCrow* no







<7:27:21 pm -- social engineering approach>




	
Steveeee* Hello. I'm the admin of the ISP you are using. Could you



please change your nick? It seems the nick "DarkCrow" has been causing

our irc server to fall out of sync with the space-time continuum.


	
Steveee* Hello?


	
DarkCrow* I know it's you.


	
DarkCrow_* FUCK YOU#!@(!($*(!







<7:52:58 pm -- rational approach>




	
DarkCrow_* i've used that nick exclusively for 3 years.


	
DarkCrow_* EVERYONE knows that nick is mine


	
DarkCrow_* It's just proper NETIQUETE!@#


	
DarkCrow* fuck you.





<8:02:47 pm -- sympathy approach>




	
DarkCrow_* Man, you don't understand. irc is my fucking life. I'm 42 and



live in a basement. Please. People identify me only as DarkCrow.  You're

not just stealing my nick. You're stealing my identity. My life sucks.

I'm a pathetic loser and the only joy I get is from being identified on

irc as DarkCrow. Please.


	
DarkCrow* shut up.


	
DarkCrow* loser.





<8:07:05 pm -- offensive approach>




	
DarkCrow_* fucking bastard


	
DarkCrow_* fucking shithead bastard


	
DarkCrow_* your mother's a whore


	
DarkCrow_* and you're a big fucking asshole


	
DarkCrow_* FUCKING SHIT MOTHER FUCKER


	
DarkCrow_* BITCH$()(*@!$*$*$*(*@$#


	
DarkCrow* now you're definitely not getting it back





< ... >



Irving stumbles out of the basement which reeks of stale potato chips

and beer.  He walks out into the sunlight of a new morning. For the

first time he sees the beauty of the world apart from a computer screen.

Maybe he could use this nick theft as an ... opportunity to start over

-- to experience life to its fullest!







<the final approach>




	
knock * knock * knock *





"Hold on."




	
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK *





"Here I come... hello."

"Hi. Does Mr. John Franson live here?"

"Yeah, I'm John Franson. Can I help you?"

"Are you on irc right now as 'DarkCrow?'"

"umm... yeah."




	
BANG.BANG.BANG.BANG.BANG. *





"..."




	
BANG *





(... maybe not.)



Moral of the story:



  a) some people take irc *way* too seriously

  b) don't sell guns to people who go on irc

  c) GIVE BACK CREED'S NICK, BITCH-ASS IMPERSONATOR!@#&^*%^@%^&@!

  d) morals are stupid



D!