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           yolk: a young man, an infant , a yak... all living in sin
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yolk number four.  well, as a tribute to our four-issue anniversary, i learned
how to say "yolk number four" in 8 languages.  isn't that great?

well, on with the issue.

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this paragraph is dedicated to epidemic, cuz he wants me to dedicate it to him
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epidemic is on the phone with me.  he says "hey stain, can you dedicate a y0lk
paragraph to me?  and i said "uh.. yeah."

well just for you, i'm dedicating this paragraph.  here ya go.

YOU SUCK!!!! WHAT KIND OF LAME DORK WOULD WANT TO BE MENTIONED IN SUCH A STUPID
MAGAZINE?!?!?  GET A DAMN LIFE MAN, YOU TOTALLY SUCK!!!

just between friends.  a tribute to epidemic.

he doesn't really suck... i just didn't know what kind of paragraph he wanted
dedicated to him.  bleh

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                                  oops!
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just a little editors note:  in y0lk #3, i wrote over 100 lines without
reminding the readers how much we suck.  i also went on and wrote quite a few
paragraphs with a purpose, about canada.  i'd just like to apologize, it won't
happen again.  i fully regret straying from routine and acting like a real
writer.

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                        3y3 lUb j0o!@(#*(!@^*%!@(^*!#@^
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recently, the great mogel expressed some appoval of y0lk magazine.  i'd just
like to thank mogel for his moral support, and if you could all turn off your
monitors for a moment of silence here... may mogel regain his sanity soon.

in tribute, i'd like to do a mogel-ish HPA paragraph.  actually i'm just doing
it cuz i'm bored and i have some more space to fill.

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                            how to blow up the world
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HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD:
author: stain        ingredients: several nuclear bombs.  add assorted
date: 08/22/95                    hallucinogens for mental stability.
time: 2:45am EST

and now.... HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD.

instructions: please don't blow up the world... there are a lot of people out
              there who probably want to live.

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top 5000 reasons not to overestimate how long you can write countdown lists
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5000: i don't really think i need to explain this.
4999: if you don't understand this joke, look at the header again, read #5000
      again, and think a little
4998: repeat if necessary.
4997: if you still don't get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy
      yourself.
4996: if you do get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy yourself.

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                           ace of base lyrics
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wE^aRE^aN^eLITE^tEXT^fILE^gR0OP^cUZ^wE^rELEASE^eLITE^lYRICS^fROM^aSS^oF^bASS!

we are from sweden
we acted like we were techno gods
because we had a number one record, yeah,
now everyone hates us
pop rock lives on

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                               let's review
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this issue, we humiliated epidemic, apologized for the last issue, paid tribute
to mogel, instructed anarchists on destroying the world, gave our readers a
direct order of suicide, and glorified a crappy swedish pop band.  i think i
deserve a nice pat on the back with a salami.

thank you.

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editor's note:  i really should stop editing myself.
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index of y0lk issues:

,s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $.                       title                                     `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$



  1  `$ the other white meat                                             `$
$   2   $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$   3   $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $
$.  4  ,$ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$




all issues by stain (so far)