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From the RationalWiki

How to compose a successful critical commentary:
1: You should attempt to re-express your target's position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, "Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way."
2: You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
3: You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
4: Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.

See also:

How to disagree by Paul Graham

which presents this disagreement hierarchy:

DH0. Name-calling.
DH1. Ad Hominem.
DH2. Responding to Tone.
DH3. Contradiction. (merely stating a contradictory opinion)
DH4. Counterargument (contradiction plus reasoning or evidence)
DH5. Refutation.
DH6. Refuting the Central Point.

Better Disagreement [1] from LessWrong adds:

[1]

DH7. Improve the Argument, then Refute Its Central Point.