đŸ Archived View for gemini.zachdecook.com âș capsule âș 2020-11-01-action-jones.gemini captured on 2021-12-04 at 18:04:22. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
âŹ ïž Previous capture (2021-11-30)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Over time, different media has had rubbed off in its own way on my sense of humor. If you want to âgetâ somebody, usually one way is to watch all of their favorite things. While I do have a such a list, one such item from my younger teenage years is inaccessible.
No, not because of some DRM imposed by âBig Techâ, but because the media was so niche, probably no one made a backup of it. I'm speaking of Action Jones.
Running for three seasons with a grand finale conclusion, this webseries was so much fun.
I was first introduced to it in college... at the time, I was in middle school (tinkering around with C++ game development in my spare time), but twice, me and my older brother went to visit my sister at her university. It was there, we were introduced to this incredible work of history.
Action Jones season one started as a cheap dorm-room spoof of... maybe a large conglomeration of things. Action Jones, the pajama-clad sunglasses wearing hero, would get some kind of mission from âthe chiefâ, and then he'd do it. Episodes were usually only a few minutes long. âThe chiefâ would usually ramble on about Kumchatka or Project Azerbaijan, and then Action would go do something. The predicate of the episode was mostly fighting. Either against the ninja, Edge, or his nemesis, the Pharoah of Flush.
On the surface, The Pharoah of Flush may have looked like some guy with a plunger wrapped in TP in a dorm room bathroom, but he was so much more than that. It was the overflowing music, the solid combat, and the crappy puns which made him memorable. To this date I still have his theme song stuck in my head and often find myself playing it when sitting at the piano.
It had that âeverlasting staircase effectâ: the melody eerily seeming to go up an octave each loop on top of the minor chord progression (Am+2|F7|Am/D|F,G).
Edge was the ninja which Action fought. His visual design may have changed a few times, but the Jackie-chan-esque fighting style remained consistent and a real treat. I think they become allies in season 2. After he goes blind, he's identifiable by his sharp jawline seen beneath his ninja half-mask.
Season two broadened the vision. The monologues by the chief seemed to be going somewhere, the set started to get beyond the dorm-hallway of season 1, most importantly, Insanity Tim became a recurring character. He was the bright red to Action's navy-blue. The perfect complement to Action in combat.
Now, Insanity Tim was probably the best acted part. As a full disclosure, this is the only character from the main series whose actor I met, and it might not be too much of a stretch to say he may have been type-casted. He ran around, enjoyed a challenge, and never had a long face. This lovable, crimson-caped character was perfectly set up for a bittersweet season three.
Yes, the story progressed: Kumchatka and Project Azerbaijan had meaning. It was a big robot (guy in a welding mask), and I think there was some plot twist involving the chief (either that, or it was the same actor playing two different roles), but the most tearjerking moment of all is the ending for Insanity Tim. In a definitely-not-predictable fashion, he ends up (spoiler alert) sacrificing himself to defeat the evil robot. And thus ended the series Action Jones... or so I thought.
Now Action Jones had a website (not well preserved by the internet archive), and they had a message board on that site. While by the time I watched it, most of it was done, they were still working on a finale.
The Action Jones finale trailer (2 minutes long) is still live on Vimeo
I don't think the main series ended on a cliffhanger, but I still anticipated getting more content. Maybe today, I'm not completely certain they needed a finale, but its existence at least allows it to be preserved.
The main series of Action Jones was distributed as Google Video fullscreen links. (I never downloaded any of these for offline use). I believe when Google discontinued Google Video, the account owner never migrated those videos onto YouTube. Several years back, I emailed the creator, and he just pointed me to the finale, which is on Vimeo.
The grand conclusion came in three parts, with quite a skilled ensemble cast. The premise is that a band of new heroes summons the old heroes for help.
Currently these are sitting at under 200 views, which, with a combined length similar to a feature-length film, means its only wasted 280 hours or so of IRL time. Is it really a waste of time? I guess I'd compare it to the last Avengers movie (Endgame or Infinity war, I forget which one). With so much build up investing you into the characters, having an ensemble cast might just spread the story a little too thin.
I won't spoil any of these, but I will say that they managed to write Insanity Tim back into the show. (The Pharoah of Flush makes no appearance).
Will I ever gain back this piece of my cultural history? Probably not. Having lost it makes me more cautious and careful about how a moment can be preserved. Since those days, technology has evolved to make archival more difficult. There are sometimes even legal issues involved. I want to say âdon't watch it if you can't keep itâ, but maybe it's better to have loved and lost...