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-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 - ---+-------+  slinky edition number 02 - released 02/18/96  +-------+--- -
                           
                            _ __________   _ _____ ____  _
                   _ _________ ___   > /_____/   /_\ _______
                 _____     /_    /_\/  _   <    / ___\    \
          _   _____<__  /___/   /   <   \   \ _   \   >    >___ _
                 \   <     <   <     \___\   >\    \ __   <
                  \_________\____\_____\ mD_/__>___________\
                                  

 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
  - ---+ "editorial:  donuts are fun" by, cerkit & belial

        ok, hello.  welcome to another exciting issue of slinky.  the slinky
 staff has decided to release during the middle of the month.  that is not do
 to any internal problems but rather a feeling of distaste towards all 'zines
 being released at the same time, which currently is what has been happening.  

        we now have a ftp site, which will be given later in the editorial.
 both submissions and feedback can now be directed to a new email address  -
 slinky@blandest.com.

        this issue of slinky, as are all issues, is generally set to a topic
 which is found within the submissions we are given.  however, we're still
 accepting any and all of your funk.  please be sure to submit, however
 anything which makes it in must go through the deadly "belial's editor
 cutting board".  he'll scream, rape, burn, tear, kill and coax your article
 to its pretty slinky state.

        the staff of slinky magazine would like to give a special "clap,
 clap" to the 'jonas' editor tom sullivan (edicius) who, in his spare time,
 managed to get his point across to several media based individuals in a
 local newspaper.  a clipping of an article of 'jonas' made it into the
 paper, and moreover, next to a cartoon of a geekin' tiger who said the word
 "slinky" in the cartoon.  

        the net, what net?         

        slinky has made it to the net.  we still don't have a www page yet,
 but we're working on it  -  give it time.  however, we do have a spiffy new
 ftp site:

        ftp.prism.net /pub/text/slinky  -  (thanks, teletype.)      

        we are _always_ interested in receiving feedback from our readers,
 please send us some mail at either:

        cerkit@groovie.prism.net or b3lial@cybercomm.net

        the internet isn't the thing for you?  great, call up the slinky
 voice mailbox at 1 800 925/9999  -  ##317.  still not interested?  well
 then, get down with the bbs thing and dial up avalon at 908 739/4274.  also,
 "alfheim forest bbs" at 908 473/1287 or "that stupid place" at 215 985/0462
 will have new slinky releases.

        oh, so you do dig the 'net.  well then, visit our "official" irc
 channel  -  #slinky!  (we also visit #zines, but they're all lamers.  =)

 -+--- ------ -     -
                
        as we stated last issue, we are _not_ going to be greeting people in
 slinky.  however, once again, if we were to greet people, we would greet
 black francis, cm, creed, edicius, fartslayer, grey hawk, ilsundal, jamsey, 
 kurdt  sharon (love connection), lucifer, metal chick, mindcrime, mogel,
 fuckin' ores, pip, teletype, captain cool himself  -  racer x, RaD Man, tMM,
 rhonda, sistanoman, sharon, gweeds, u4ea (great poem, hoe 90), and emmanuel.

 -+--- ------ -     -             

        we hope you enjoy this issue of slinky.  please send us feeback, we
 are _always_ interested in hearing what you have to say.

 belial & cerkit  -  "are you going to hump that?"
 
 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
 
 dim vales  -  and shadowy floods  -
 and cloudy-looking woods,
 whose forms we can't discover
 for the tears that drip all over
 huge moons there wax and wane  -
 again  -  again  -  again  -
 every moment of the night  -
 forever changing places  - 
 and they put out the star-light
 with the breath from their pale faces.
 about twelve by the moon-dial
 one more filmy than the rest
 (a kind which, upon trial,
 they have found to be the best)
 comes down  -  still down  -  and down
 with its centre on the crown
 of a mountain's eminence,
 while its wide circumference
 in easy drapery falls
 over hamlets, over halls,
 wherever they may be  - 
 o'er the strange woods  -  o'er the sea  -
 over spirits on the wing  -
 over every drowsy thing  -
 and buries them up quite
 in a labyrinth of light  - 
 and then, how deep!  -  o, deep!
 is the passion of their sleep.
 in the morning they arise,
 and their moony covering
 is soaring in the skies,
 with the tempests as they toss,
 like  --  almost any thing  -
 or a yellow albatross.
 they use that moon no more
 for the same end as before  -
 videlicet a tent  -
 which i think extravagant:
 its atomies, however,
 into a shower dissever,
 of which those butterflies,
 of earth, who seek the skies,
 and so come down again
 (never-contented things!)
 have brought a specimen
 upon their quivering wings.

       --  "fairy-land" by, edgar allan poe         

 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
  - ---+ "the adventures of pa and jr:  chapter 1" by, belial

        down here on the farm, pa and i like to live the simple life.  
        
        "you base, cattle humpin', lisp havin' hick," they say to us in town, 
 when me and pa go to visit the the general store.  pa an' i don't pay them
 none attention, i guess you'd get used to it after a while.  

        i'm a thinkin' man, yet i always tickle my brain a'wonderin' why the 
 the general store ranks so high in tha army.  not to be offensive or 
 anything but i just don't see where as a store is needin' to be a general.  
 mayhap, an' i think i'm right, but maybe it'd be a whole new plough of 
 silver if it was being called the the lieutenant store. 

        anyway.

        one day pa an' i were doing "our thing," as them people in town all 
 do say, an' we heard us a ruckus to wake up a hedgehog in the middle of 
 july.  so an' i says to pa, "look over there, i'll be hit with a stack of 
 corn in a mole field;  them hogs gone done took over tha farm."

        so an' my pa looks at me an' he says, "son, i'm sorry, but nip me in
 tha rear with a featherless turkey, but din's gonna be late havin' today."

        bein' tha compassionate, kind soul i am, i says to my pa, "don't 
 worry you none, pa.  help me husk this here corn an' we'll roast it up an' 
 eat it down 'till tha moon gets slick and we're laughin' silly, whistlin' in
 tha corn fields."

        bein' brave an' a good like man, my pa says to me, all proud, "no, 
 son, bein' as how you're my responsibility an' all, it's up to me to take 
 tha farm back."

        "take that there stick there laying on tha ground an' hand it to me,
 so as we can get goin'." pa says to me.

        "you gots you a plan, pa?" i asks as i bends over and grabs a big 
 stick.

        "yes, son i do  -  i do figure as how we can win back tha farm."

        "whats we gonna do, pa?" i asks.

        "that's what i didn't quite figure out yet."

        "but you just done gone tell me you had you a plan."

        "what i dids an' what i says are two entirely different things."

        "then how we gonna win back tha farm from them hogs?"

        "well, boy, if you shut you up for a minute, i'll think us up a good 
 plan."

        i'm the respectful sort, so i shuts me up for a minute. 

        "did you think up a plan yet, pa?"

        "now damn, boy, i says give me a minute of silence."

        "i already dids." i argues back.

        "well then... gimme another minute.  you've gone and messed up my
 concentration."

        not wanting to cause any problems, i decided to clamp my yipper.

        however.

        after looking at the look on my pa's face, i couldn't help it none
 but to laugh like a wombat all strung out on fried gumby. 

        my pa then starts squintin' down at me.  "what you laughin' at, boy?"

        chucklin' one last time i says, "nothin'."

        he keeps squintin' down at me, like his face was all stuck.

        "i said nothin'."

        "well, keep you quiet or i ain't ever gonna be able to think us up a
 plan."

        "sure, pa." i says, gettin' over my fit.

        he started makin' that face again, but i held back from laughin'.  
 kickin' a rock i says to pa, "i sure do miss the farm."

        "eurika."

        "don't you mean 'eureka'?" i asks, all confused and such.

        "whatever.  i gots us a plan good enough to win us back our farm."

        "you gonna tell me what it is?" i asks, interrupting my pa in his
 moment of glory.

        "oh alright, boy, listen you good."

        "i sure am gonna, when you tell me it."

        he brings his head near mine's an' starts a'whispering after a 
 minute.  i just flat out couldn't take none more.

        "i can't hear a dang thing you be sayin'.  speak you up a bit, pa."

        "damnit, boy, now listen."

        "well, i couldn't none hear you."

        "if you weren't yappin', you'd have heard me good.  now shut you up
 an' listen to what i gots to say!"

        i took my scoldin' like a man, but i didn't none like it.  "sure,
 pa."
 
        "now, this is what we gonna do," be begins, usin' the stick i gave 
 him to map out the farm in the dirt. 

  __________________________________________________________________________
 |\                    /|        ______                                     |
 |  \                /  |       |      |                                    |
 |    \ __________ /    |       |______| <- tha shed                        |
 |    /            \    |                                                   |  
 |  /                \  |                    _                              |
 |/____________________\|  <- tha house     |_| <- tha outhouse             |
 |  |  ***   *  ***  |                - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
 |  |________________|               |            @  <- corn        @       | 
 |                    *                     @     |'     @          |'   @  |
 | * <- hogs                         | @    |'           |'    @         |' |
 |                                     |'             @        |'    @      |
 |                                   |     O <- pa.   |'                    |
 |                                          o <- jr.      the corn field.   |
 |______________\   /________________|______________________________________|
                  
        "there we are, son, right down there in tha bottom of tha corn field.
 over there on tha front porch are tha hogs, an' up there is tha shed an' tha
 outhouse."

        "so what is it we gonna do?" i asks, lookin' at the map. 

        "well, i figure..."

 - ---+---------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
  - ---+ "distraught television god" by, jestapher

        i remember the day vividly, it is the darkest time ever i've known.
 confusion engulfed me.  how could it go so wrong?  why did it happen to me?  
 my creation went astray.  i intended it as a port of high morality and 
 knowledge, and it deceived me.
 
        the television consumed my time on it's path to perfection, and while 
 others' creations finished before mine, none were as sophisticated or 
 promising.  seeing as this was the sole purpose of myself, creation, i 
 wanted to make the best.  i was an instant celebrity upon its completion.  
 everyone gathered around to see the television.  but i lost all respect when 
 they found out i had no control over it and it was chaotic.

        i couldn't bear being beside the television.  all the images it was
 pouring forth burned me with sadness and anger.  i had to get out.  on my 
 way, to where i don't know, i met someone.  he had the same problem as i.  
 he made an array of creations, and bundled them together.  it seems that his 
 first creation, humankind, took so little time and was so unsophisticated 
 that he decided to make a suite of creations to make up for it.  his initial
 creation went astray just like mine.

        he told me an interesting story about what he did.  instead of 
 letting them lead a life of low morality with no reparations, he created a 
 place for them where they were aware of the path to high morality but had to 
 struggle to stay upon it.  what an idea!  i thought it would be pointless to 
 create my own, so i asked him if i could package the television among his 
 cast of creations.  he was ecstatic to get such an offer, but he would only 
 allow it on one condition:  that i limited the power of the television.  i 
 would have done anything at that point, so i agreed.  now my creation lives 
 with all the other deviant creations in a world of chaos.

     sometimes i wonder if i should have ever created the television.

 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
  - ---+ "beth" by, arifel

        towards the end of her afternoon lesson, beth overheard one of her
 mothers receiving a phone-call from someone off-world.  she hung back just 
 behind the kitchen door, hoping that she'd hear something that her parents 
 wouldn't want her to hear;  unfortunately, she only caught the last minute 
 of the discussion.

        it was from a man whose name (which her mother spoke in an  
 exasperated tone) was cyrim;  he was, apparently, her uncle.  uncle cyrim? 
 she didn't know she had any uncles!  she listened intently;  the very fact 
 that they'd concealed this uncle's existence from her meant that his company 
 was worth cultivating.  her parents were straights;  good-natured, kind and 
 careful not to jeopardise their parents' license, but unimaginative, bland. 
 dull as carbon dioxide.

        "come on, i've been away for over six years... and it's not as if 
 i'll be on earth long," the other voice said.  it wasn't trying to talk her
 mother into anything;  it sounded more joking than anything else.

        "i've already said that it's fine by both of us if you visit  -"

        "-  but you don't want me staying with you.  that's okay, i usually 
 stay at the studio.  i'll be by on sixday, around sixteen."

        "_try_ to behave like a citizen, please?" he laughed and the
 connection beeped softly as it was closed.

        sixday  -  that was tomorrow!  before anyone could catch her 
 listening, she went back to her terminal and continued working on a 
 painting.  as she smeared pixels about on the display, she wondered if he 
 meant the anarchartist studio.  it would make sense that her mothers 
 wouldn't want him around if he was in with that crowd...

        it appeared that she wasn't going to be given the chance to talk to
 uncle cyrim;  at least, not the way she wanted to.  a formal dinner had been 
 set up as a kind of barricade, to protect her from untoward influences.  she 
 almost managed to follow the convoluted train of argument they used to make 
 it sound like it was to her benefit.  she knew better than to argue.

        she'd dressed in the clothes they'd set out for her  -  shapeless, 
 baggy, faded grey denim coveralls  -  and had resigned herself to an evening 
 of being "good".

        none of them had factored her strange uncle into this equation.

        it was sixteen point two before he arrived.  through the door 
 display, she saw him in the hallway, talking animatedly to a hulkingly tall 
 alien with a t-shaped head.  to her shock, her uncle suddenly kicked the 
 xeno in the shin;  in return, it slapped him a roundhouse blow to the side 
 of his head, almost knocking him over.  just then, marianne (her foremother) 
 gently pulled her aside and opened the door.  after waving to the alien 
 without any trace of hostility, he entered with an unfamiliarly dramatic 
 sweep.

        he was aged somewhere in his late twenties or early thirties,
 unfashionably long hair, thinning at the front, dyed an unlikely shade of 
 crimson.  physically, beth could see the resemblance between him and 
 marianne;  she'd heard enough complaints from her foremother about trying to 
 control her weight to see that cyrim had the same metabolism.  however, his 
 bizarre clothing more than made up for his dumpy physique.  he wore a 
 knee-length coat made of some shiny black material, sewn together, 
 seemingly, without using a pattern;  asymmetric seams ran in all directions, 
 dodging the many bright silver grommets and studs that held it all together.  
 his baggy pants were made of the same material except somewhat more 
 structured in form.  his feet were bare; toenails painted the same shade of 
 red as his hair.  every so often, the folds of his coat would part enough 
 for her to see a t-shirt with curling alien text written on the front in 
 glowing purple.  he carried a draw-string bag made of some bright, metallic 
 cloth that shifted colour whenever she wasn't looking, odd shapes inside 
 bulging out against the material enticingly.

        after a brief, awkward pause, cyrim and marianne hugged.  she held 
 his shoulders, pushed him back and regarded him dubiously.

        "what were you two arguing about out there?  that xeno looked like it
 wanted to take your head off." cyrim laughed.

        "his name is jamie, and he's a dakha.  they're a very old, very 
 socially convoluted culture;  a lot of their kinesics are based on 
 ritualised violence, and he was just saying goodbye." his attention lighted 
 on her;  his expression brightened significantly.  "and this must be beth.  
 you _have_ grown!  i'm sorry if this seems a little, uh, inappropriate  -  i 
 only found out that you were twelve years old yesterday." he gave marianne 
 a mock frown.  "i found it on sthelanar and i thought you might like it 
 anyway." before marianne could protest, he'd opened the draw-string bag, 
 produced a small box and had given it to beth.  she accepted it and made the 
 polite bow her parents had taught her, ducking her head slightly.

        "thank you, uncle." he gave a look of mock-pain at this.

        "oh, please, don't call me that.  it makes me feel twenty years 
 older!" she smiled to herself.

        "yes, uncle." he made a wry face at marianne.

        "well, i know where she gets _that_ from." seeing marianne's doubt 
 at the gift, he explained (with a tone of patient condescension that even
 beth could hear);  "it's harmless.  entirely passive.  the technical term
 for it is an entropy-informatics resolution and display meter." he kneeled 
 before her, gently took the box from her and pointed out the raised gold 
 circles on the side.  "this is the level control;  you can turn it between 
 zero, which is empty space, and one, which is complete chaos.  you won't 
 usually see anything at either extreme;  the interesting stuff is in the 
 upper-middle range, around zero point seven two." he turned the box around 
 and held it up for her;  unlike the other sides which were decorated with 
 swirling patterns in copper on black, this face was completely blank.  he 
 indicated a second contact, moved her finger over onto it.  as she touched 
 the cold metal, the end of the box came alive, showing what looked like the 
 surface of a sun, an unusual yellow-green colour, solar prominences leaping 
 up slowly.  it was bright, but not uncomfortably so.

        to marianne, cyrim explained further:  "there are about a dozen
 different scales which can be adjusted, but the safety level isn't one of 
 them.  it's always set at maximum, so nothing that can harm her can possibly 
 be displayed." marianne looked somewhat mollified at this.

        the dinner was an odd experience.  josie (her other mother) and
 marianne made it painfully obvious that cyrim's open discussion of the alien 
 worlds he'd lived on were in poor taste;  beth vacillated between obedient, 
 surprised distaste at his disregard for what were obvious indicators of 
 topics he should avoid and her decidedly un-straight interest in what he was 
 saying.

        "i've been living on sthelanar for the past three years.  you know,
 they were the only civilisation apart from the moridani that the nosannoos 
 couldn't subjugate?  when the bythians landed there, the population had all 
 vanished.  the bythians left and they came back again... the bythians went 
 back, and they vanished again. they kept this up for thousands of years 
 before the bythians got tired of it and agreed to leave them alone.  
 personally, i think the nosannoos were trying to learn something from 
 them  -  they're the most capable mathematicians around, it seems." he 
 gestured towards the box, which beth had placed next to her plate, the 
 powdered-lime sun still glowering from the end.  "that device was given to
 me by the head of the dormitory.  the sthelane have been modifying
 themselves for so long, this one actually looked like a dining-room table,
 one that spoke perfect terrestrial.  he'd been working on entropy
 informatics for hundreds of years, all of his work going towards making that
 box... and when he'd finished it and got it working, he just gave it to me
 and said, "you'll know who to give it to." of course, my first thought was,
 "beth will love this..." he smiled at her.  josie cleared her throat and
 asked again,

        "are you sure it's harmless?" cyrim tried to conceal his impatience.

        "if it was dangerous, the nosannoos wouldn't have let me take it off
 the planet." this was enough for josie, who was the kind of straight who 
 believed everything the government told her.  she simply looked on while 
 marianne and cyrim debated interdiction policies and beth surreptitiously 
 fiddled with the controls on the box.  the sun-scene faded, to be replaced 
 by an unusual variety of comet, one with two tails.  she adjusted the 
 controls again, but couldn't find anything more interesting than a long-shot 
 of a small moon showing violent volcanic activity.  she turned it off.

        it was just after cyrim had left that she found the card he'd slipped
 into her pocket.  she took it to the privacy of her room and bent it in 
 half, activating it.  the card snapped back into shape and cyrim's face, 
 drawn in tiny, vaguely flesh-toned hexagons, appeared.
        
        "i thought i should tell you about the other controls," the card 
 said. "the fourth and fifth ones fine-tune the complexity.  it's set very 
 low at the moment, which is why you're probably only seeing scenery.  if you 
 turn it up a bit, it'll pick up more complex forms.  living systems.  even 
 further up, and it'll show complex living systems, like civilisations."  
 given the low resolution of the card she couldn't be sure, but his 
 expression seemed bemused. "experiment with the other controls.  you'll find 
 out which ones work best." the colours on the card faded to pale grey.

        immediately, beth turned the box on and cautiously brushed her index
 finger against the fourth circle.  the display swirled crazily and cleared 
 to show a meadow which seemed to be set on the side of a very steep incline.  
 the parts of the sky she could see were bright green.  she deftly adjusted 
 what she'd come to call the "zoom" control and brought the scene closer.

        the grass was actually finger-thick strands of crimson foliage, in
 which hundreds of tiny creatures played.  she watched the six-legged mice 
 gambol and leap about for hours.  she carefully scanned the setting so she 
 could reset the device to show this scene again later.

        fine adjustments of the fifth circle seemed to produce wildly 
 different scenes, many of them showing cities of one kind or another, with 
 hundreds of different species of beings inhabiting them;  yet many of the 
 scenes were of unadorned grey boxes the size of underground rail cars, 
 sitting on concrete circles.  if the settings were any guide, these boxes 
 were representations of a high level of complexity.  outwardly, they seemed 
 very boring.
        
        inevitably, she found the combination of settings which showed earth.
 excitedly, she zoomed in on the southern hemisphere, waiting for the daytime 
 view to cycle around to the continent on which her city lay.  it was harder 
 than she thought to find the city, but once she'd located it, very easy to 
 locate the building in which she lived.

        the building looked subtly different to the views she'd glimpsed when
 their av was landing on the roof.  she panned down the side of the building 
 to the ninth-floor landing, then in through the window to her room.  she 
 looked around abruptly, almost expecting to see either a holographic camera, 
 or perhaps some disembodied alien eye peering at her.  of course, there was 
 nothing there.

        the room looked different, too.  her school-terminal was on the wrong 
 side of the bed;  there were clothes all over the place, hanging from rails 
 which didn't exist in the real world, posters which she didn't recognise on 
 the walls and ceiling.  she glanced up from the end of the box, examined her 
 room, looked back.  it was the same room, but... different.  according to 
 the display, she wasn't lying on the bed looking at a box.

        as she stared at it, the bedroom door on the display opened and she
 watched herself enter... was that her?  it looked older, at least twenty
 years old.  the figure in the display had much longer hair and was dressed 
 in a fashion that her mothers would definitely not approve of.  and this 
 older person  -  this other, older beth  -  was with someone else, holding 
 hands with another girl with a bright purple sweep of hair and laughing 
 eyes.  they sat down on the end of the bed, hugged...

        while beth lay on the bed and observed them with wide eyes, marianne
 peeped at her through the home video system, saw her rapt attention and
 smiled.

        "i guess cyrim isn't that bad after all," she murmured.
 
 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -
  - ---+ "subnifty" by, cerkit

        the cold heart in heaven of what was once the slinky deity held no 
 truth in our reality.  he had been comatosed and... for so much time in 
 mental limbo.  his return was set to occur only when he had the power to 
 defeat the now "zines-dewds" whom had defeated him.  it was no surprise to 
 him, he was proud to find that "his" people were the one's who could defeat 
 him.  slowly he had concocted a new plan, a plan that he knew had the 
 ability and potential to force cerkit into a complete vulnerable position.

        the plan held a very harsh realization, a realization cerkit would 
 have to defeat, an inner conflict he would have to battle.  with such a war 
 at hand, we find the present day with cerkit.

 -+--- ------ -     -

        the slinky held a rather funny position today.  rad.org was running
 diagnostics on him at a constant rate to be sure he couldn't get beyond his 
 inner casing.  scrap and airborn slowly crept into the radioactive aardvark 
 dung and slinky building, where they knew the slinky deity was being held.
                 
        "way wacky flashback scene."

 scrap    -  slinky, he has power!  we're lamers now, but if we steal and 
             free the deity... airborn, we would become the new masters.  the 
             #zines rep's we always wanted!

 airborn  -  you gotta be sure, we face much humiliation if we fail.

 airborn  -  just look at my name, it's a wonder i don't face constant 
             humiliation.

 scrap    -  be quiet and get yourself together, we're leaving shortly.

        "way wacky scene return."

        scrap attaches a dtmf decoder onto the keypad at the parking lot 
 enterance.  airborn watches as scrap enters nine thousand different 
 passwords until he gets the door open.  then, finally:

        "kliq!"

 airborn  -  lets go!

 scrap    -  i am, be quiet.

        slowly they diverted around each corner of security,  finally  
 reaching the deity's inner chamber.

        all of a sudden:

        "awooguh!@# awooguh!@#"

 airborn  -  holy heinekin's, scrap, it's the alarm.

 scrap    -  wacky.  lets get the hell outta here, but first, lets save 
             the deity.

        scrap busts the glass case entraping the deity, and escapes through
 the air venting systems.

        airborn happily follows.

 -+--- ------ -     -

        back at the home of scrap.

 scrap    -  yeah, mom, just shut up!

 airborn  -  we'll have to revive it, it doesn't seem particularly lively.

        airborn was correct  -  for once.  the deity had been comatosed and 
 it would need some quick boost of energy for it to become at the very least, 
 concious.

        scrap and airborn collected items from around scrap's house until 
 they had an object capable of charging the slinky.  slowly, minute by 
 minute, power surged through the slinky.

        then quickly and nearly unnoticeable to the tired eye's of scrap and 
 airborn, the slinky began to move.  he shuttered at first, then stretched 
 himself.  by this time, scrap and airborn were found fast asleep.  cerkit, 
 belial and mercuri initiated a apb for the slinky and started to investigate 
 the nights events to figure exactly how they were "hacked".

        meanwhile, the slinky was becoming more and more like his old self.
 mental transit became a possibility again, and so the slinky set out sending 
 his commands to cerkit.

        "cerkit, the slinky speaks, you must listen."

        what the fuck?  the slinky is back in my head, but how?  no fool who 
 would capture him would revive him  -  would they?  they'd have to be _the_
 two dumbest individuals ever.

        "cerkit, don't deny me.  gather those who are worthy and meet me at 
 the dummmercon site.  AND THIS I COMMAND!"

        uhg, i can't withdraw.  i must follow his lead, lest i be left with 
 this agony infinitely.

        and so, cerkit gathered those the deity insisted.

 -+--- ------ -     -
 
        at the dummercon site.

        "lets be reasonable, mogel.  i've made you the new advocate, the most 
 worthy, and it was by my hand that such occured.  lest it become real to 
 you, all is lost."

 mogel    -  wha?
  
 m0rph    -  cerkit's got attitude.

        "now, i come with news, news that will not only shock you, but 
 implore your helping me."

 cerkit   -  we'll never follow you!
  
 mogel    -  chill cerkit, let the slinky talk.
  
 m0rph    - jive us.

        "my race, the people i am of, have come for me.  they are calling me 
 a criminal  -  a criminal of epic proportions by earth standards.  this will 
 cause the dying of the 'zine scene, as well as all of your positions 
 therein, and your measly and useless lives."

 mogel    -  woah-o.
    
 m0rph    -  i phear.
    
 ores     -  geeks.

        "i must relay this to you with urgence.  my people will destory you.  
 they want no part of "our" 'zine scene ideas coming to other worlds. 
 however, your people deserve such graces.  it is sad, however that increased 
 exposure to terrain environment has caused me severe mental damage."

 -+--- ------ -     -
 
 scrap    -  hey airborn.  where'd the damn slinky go?
     
 airborn  -  <yawn> beats me.
 
 -+--- ------ -     -

        "one by one, you each must fall into a category and from thence, 
 defeat the on-coming war.  i will wait for you, becuase in this state i am 
 defenseless."

        "i would be soon destoryed."

 mogel    -  yew g0t it.
    
 cerkit   -  i'm willing.
          
 murmur   -  me three dude.
    
 m0rph    -  MY NAME IS SUAVE DAVE, GET IT RIGHT!@#

        slowly night fell on the philadelphia streets, with everyone just one 
 step more ignorant to the cosmic soup opera being casted as they spoke.  no 
 one knew that the reality they knew was slowly unfolding, and that they were 
 trapped in a world of uselessness.

        the city lights grew and then dimmed, then they blinked off and on in 
 sequence spelling "crash & burn".

 - ---+----------------------------------------------------------------+--- -

                     slinky issue number 002  -  02/18/96 

               send feedback/submissions to slinky@blandest.com
       avalon bbs  -  908 739/4274  alfheim forest bbs  -  908 473/1287
                        ftp.prism.net  /pub/text/slinky

                   "are you going to hump that?"  -  slinky      

 - ---+  eof  +------------------------------------------------+  eof  +--- -