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Netmonkey Weekly Report
Issue XXIX
January 4th, 1999


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                   `Y$  [ n ] ETMONKEY [ W ] EEKLY [ R ] EPORT





    
    Well, what have we learned in 1999 so far? Do NOT delay NWR 
    a week, or people become quite angry and hostile. So our New 
    Year's Resolution is to not skip weeks..:) This issue is our 
    Best of 1998 issue, and hopefully if I can get my memory working 
    a little better, it will be a good issue, otherwise, sorry:)


                                       -Lester [Co-Editor/Head Writer]


        Well, i'm back home now, safe and sound.
    Hope Santa was good to everyone.. 
        We got an awesome issue this week, packed with the usual
    shite... Prozac's games, bud's utils, my site crap, sky's news, 
    and Lester's curry stuff. Also, Lester is back with another 
    phearsome story... i like it.. sort of..    ;p

        We have 2 great pics this week. One is a little anti-XMAS
    pic that greenback sent me, for all you grinches out there.. 
    The other is a bit of freelance photography that tdpriest did
    for the "greenpeace" organization.. its called "jesspic4.jpg"
        We also have a pretty funny log by glen, of him and brain..
        Someone made me a GREAT new diz/nfo for NWR this week, but
    unfortunately, i left it on my laptop... would you mind DCC'ing
    me that diz again, when you see me, pls?  ;)
        I didn't get a chance to finish my part of the 1998-retro
    to go with Lester's, so we will prolong that for one issue, i
    guess, as there are already 300 ppl msging me asking when its
    gonna be out.. ;)
        Thanks to wishmaster, duranged, and tech for the weektops,
    glen, kane, and a few other nameless ones for the news... 
        Prozac's site is up at: http://ppgr.webjump.com

        Take care, everyone, and have a good week..
 
                                         ndetroit [Co-Editor/Head Fatass]



-----------[ index ]-----------

   I.)   Intro 
               a) Lester
               b) ndetroit

   II.)  Quotes of the Week  

   III.) Stats - Ndetroit's Weekly Stats, and comments on Sites.
   IV.)  Lester's Biased Courier Report

   V.)   Articles 
               a) Prozac's Kinda Biased Games Report
               b) Bud's Biased Utils Report
               c) Lesters Moview Reviews
               d) Story: The Abduction of Flight 666

   VI.)  Scene News - All the news thats fit to print 
    
   VII.)  Rumors! 

   VIII.) Closing



---------------------[ Quotes of the Week! ]---------------------


-*** mandrake changes topic to 'i got my liscence back, damn right im on 
 the roads, run while u still can  ;P'

-<mandrake> u should see my drivers liscencephoto
 <mandrake> it looks so gay

-<tdpriest> HEY TEACHER, LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!

-<glen> someone plz reattach my penis it just fell of from laughter

-<glen> in this channel i am the BEST COURIER whos nick starts with the 
        letter "g"
 <|nitro|> glen: you are also the biggest fuckwit in here that starts 
           with the letter "g"

-<duranged-> anyone want a new pic of me
 <duranged-> in a bikini ?


    LEADER, BACID TAKES OVER'

-<Coolio|> Release the damn magazine


-----------[ ndetroit's sites and stats section ]-----------


    Its been a bit of a while since our last issue, so i'll try to
  cover as much as i can here..
    
    One piece of news that i was fairly shocked to hear about was that
  TV became OGN WHQ.. i guess that makes MDK their EHQ, or smth? Bizarre.
  Nice to see OGN taking a US site, but i'm sure TV isn't the WHQ on 
  the strength of the site alone... ;p
    Anyways.. i included TV in the survey this week, just cause i felt
  like putting another US site in. Will prob be gone next week tho, so
  blah. 

    TRX (EURO: PWA/CORE) hooked up with MnM, so good for them. Uhhh.. TD
  and PB both became TPC sites.. which is great, if TPC ever releases a 
  game. So.. uhh... a word to TD:  you would have been better off with
  CLASS... of course.. who wouldn't? BAHAHAHAHA
    TDP (uhh.. The Devil's Pit, or smth) has picked up a UCF affil, becoming
  UCF USECHQ *cough*lame*cough*, to go along with their 9 other lame affils.
    Some other site became USWCHQ. Good for them. ;p
    TDZ = narked. 
    TSG = another new site that i don't know shit about, but thought i would
  mention them here.. ;p

    Ok.. enough about lame ass sites that no one gives a fuck about.. What
  happened in the REAL world?
    Well, i hate to say it, but EPT is nearly respectable, doing well on
  their site RAY.. Word on the street is that AoD is hot after the site. 
    MDK is coming back up this week, with a new HUB, and a few new HD's. 
    MP = gone forever?
    VDR has no affils, and i've heard a lot of ppl bitching about "why the
  fuck should i bother to support it if it has no affils".. Good point.. 
  I guess we'll see as time goes on whether or not anything comes of that..
    TMS picked up the PRM USHQ now that PRM is back in full swing, bringing
  them to dms/kac/prm... alas, no games affil. (but there are still so many
  TPC spots available!!!)  BAHAHAHAHAHA
    Ok.. i don't have much else to say, as i was away the whole week, so..
  i'll try to do better next week. 
        
  
=--------------------------------------------------------------------------=
	Sites are rated on a 3X and 2X scale.. if you want to know why we 
 do it that way, read an old issue. Couriers get 10 points per site they get
 #1 on, 9 points for 2nd place, 8 points for 3rd, etc, etc. 
	Sites are rated by us. If you don't like the ratings, then.... 
heh... fuck off and die..
=--------------------------------------------------------------------------=

          The Top Ten sites for this week are:

	                                   
          x3 FS -*- STH -*- ET -*- E -*- RDX
          x2 MW -*- DLS -*- VDR -*- IC -*- TV 
 


	          ---=NETMONKEY COURiER REPORT=---

 trader       group   FS STH ET  E RDX MW DLS VDR IC TV   pts   pos    
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 godbless     DEV      1   1  2  1   1  1   1   2  3  1   241   [1] 
 wishmaster   DMS      5   3  4  2   5  3   5   3  4  3   182   [2] 
 garoto       DEV      3   2  3  0   2  5   0   1  1  0   154   [3]  
 bootman      DMS      7   5  6  3   7  6   8   7  6  0   115   [4] 
 snap         EQL      4   0  0  4  10  2   2   0  0  0    95   [4] 
 xrex         EQL      9   8  8  5   0  0   4   0  0  0    56   [6] 
 kruzin       RiSC     0   0  5  8   4  0   0   4  8  0    50   [7]  
 grad         AoD      8   0  1  0   0  0   6   0  0  0    49   [8] 
 nightsky     AoD      2   0  0  0   0  0   3   0  0  0    43   [9] 
 youthx       RiSC     0   0  0  0   0  0   0   0  2  2    42  [10]  

 * = no weektop this week.
   
 =--------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


-----------[ Lester's Biased Courier Section ]-----------


Lester's Biased Courier Report

Well another week goes by, let's cover the news..


Dimension: Well, Jess has gone back to VGN, see notes below. Other than
that, a medium week, nothing special happening here.

Devotion: G&G as usual, nothing else. The garoto trading script text was 
pretty damn funny though, gotta give vylent some credit for that.:)

Vengeance: Well, you ask what more can a group do to lose respect that it 
doesn't have? They  can take back one of the founders who quit! Seems the 
only one with any class in VGN is Ddruid, and he has retired on account of 
this act. VGN continues to show why they are laughed at.

MNM: Mass recruiting going on here, but Bizzybone drops them after a week 
of not getting a shell, citing that MNM sucks, as we have all said before. 
As I am writing this, I have received word that MNM has had huge internal 
fighting and major changes are to be expected., but they are not dead as 
glen says, BUT!
<glen> but we are not dead
<glen> almost
<glen> but they are dead without me

AOD: My favorite group besides my own..:) I dont have much to say about 
them though, they behave themselves!:)

Risc: My god I heard some funny shit this week, but it's all secret and 
I will burn in hell if I tell, but needless to say Risc sucks royally..:) 
Well, thanks to Union's wonderful scene news page(union.jaded.net), we have 
learned that Risc has kicked out a large # of people, consisting of:Brab, 
zombie, cruger, fronthead,lonerebel, mindreadr, mrblazer, stealth, 
technomancer, Bleach Boy, DarkAngel, and Darklord. Now, this is quite a 
move, because some of these names make up what Risc was and have been a 
cornerstone in their history. Bleachboy, creator of bftpd, one of the 
greatest ftp daemons to date. Cruger, one of the greater traders of 
alltime and an icon in risc. Fronthead, MrBlazer, Darklord, all big 
longtime Risc members. Risc seems serious about getting back on track, but 
they have proceeded only to erase any memory of the once great Dynasty. 
Now Risc seems more like a group that started 2 months ago than 7 years. 


News and Notes:

<Pixel-> this keyboard sucks more then aod
Hehehe

Not only does Jess jump ship back to VGN, but she first brings 3 of her
VGN friends into the DMS channel to watch her change the topic and then 
they all leave with her? Can you say no class and extremely lame? Yes you 
can.

Dark Druid, part of a dying breed, the old scene and believing in the 
unwritten rules, retires from VGN after VGN disgraces itself by accepting 
the former founder back into it's fold.


=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


-----------[ Articles ]-----------


=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


-----------[ Prozac's Kinda Biased Gaming Report]-----------
            

Prozac's Kind of Biased Gaming Report

Prozac's Kind of Biased Gaming Report - December 22nd to January 2nd

Well it's Christmas week, and while Game companies raced to beat the Dec. 
25th deadline, groups were pretty quiet since most games were already out 
by then. After Dec. 25th, the scene will be dead. Only expect about 15 
games to come out for the next 2 months, thought some pretty big ones are 
in the pipelines for January & February (Alpha Centari, SimCity 3000, 
Heavy Gear 2). Also groups are starting to rush on trainers, and fuck 
ups in trainers are also starting to appear (Heh :). Let's get an overview 
of all the groups this week, starting off with... :

Class-
Welp the US & Euro side both release a couple so-so titles to keep the 
slow times going. Will CLS be able to still get the big titles that count, 
that's the question. This is what CLS needs to prove to the scene in the 
next couple weeks. Expect Class to keep it up during these slow times with 
a title or three a week.

Hot Releases:
Beavis & Butthead Bunghole in One - 25 disks
Simon the Sorcer Pinball - 15 disks

Paradigm- as PDM put it, it's been an inconvenience with Drizzt gone. 
Then also admitting Recoil was beta is another blow (and a blow at 
DVNiSO). But they show the scene how sad its at when rantnrave can do 
a store pickup. Expect nothing but slow times until Drizzt is back. 
Until then, PDM is stuck with doing patches.

Hot Releases:
Sierra Football Pro '99 - 49 disks

Razor- Seems everyone is on vacation. Or playing Everquest (Prediction 
'99: When Everquest goes gold, RZR's staff will perm. disappear). If 
people still think the blade is sharp, I laugh out loud. RZR slept 
through a couple months in '98 and it's very unlikely it'll be repeated 
in '99 in my opinion.

Hot Releases:
N/A

Origin-
Almost with out a doubt the most hated group in the scene finally blows 
open the rumors where the US Titles were coming from: DVNiSO. Seem the 
leaders of DVNiSO decided to join the UK group and start its "scene 
domination" plan that OGN members are oh so happy to brag about to me 
(a farce IMO).
Personally, makes me sick. Anyway, the Christmas finally dragged this 
group back to reality, and nothing came out from them. But I should 
mention that OGN's crackers are trying to compete with CLS for most 
amount of trainers in one month. This is an interesting competition 
we could have later on. At the beginning of the year, people were 
racing on cracked patches, now they are racing on training the newest 
games. Next, it'll be people racing to get the nfo out first on a 
game, screw the actual game!

Hot Releases:
N/A

Divine- Welp DVNiSO just basically took a big dump on DVN and said, 
"Screw you!" and now allied with OGN. Then they show how lame the staff 
is when they do a game several years old (from Timon & Pumba Jungle 
Games - RZR '96). Expect the lameness to continue, with the infrequent 
decent game, which will probably appear in June '99. Well anyway, 
DVN is now stuck to unknown Euro games & Expert games for a while, 
happy hunting!

Hot Releases:
Timon & Pumba Jungle Games Slingshooter (DUPE) - 8 disks

Last minute comments:
This week's personal comment is on two things:

1. Group of the year definitely has to go CLS. I've been with these guys
   for over 2 years now (We started on Jan. 1st, 1997), and I have to say
   the people in the group strive to prove were #1. It makes a person
   feel great when your with a winning group. But all shouldn't be lost
   to PDM, who put up a heck of a run around the end of the year. CLS & 
   PDM are about the only two groups with strong teams all around the 
   world (at the moment). As long as rips are the prevalent choices of 
   pirates, we should continue to see the power struggle, especially among 
   these groups.

2. If you haven't heard yet, I've decided to start up a monthly gaming report
   on my own. This has been idea I had been rolling around for a while, and
   I decided I'm going to act upon. I already have the web page setup, which
   also includes online issues of JTF, Mason's Gaming Report, NWR & CWS in 
   '98. If your wondering why I'm doing this, I'm just tired of the moaning 
   of people about the monthly reports, and I decided I wanted to show what I
   personally feel on the games. You'll see the 1st issue on Feb. 1st or 2nd.

Perm. ad for my web site! Be sure to check out http://ppgr.webjump.com

=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=

-----------[ Bud's Biased Utils Section ]-----------


 Bud's Biased Utils Report #5
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Happy New Year! Well the first releases for 1999 just made this report,
 not a whole lot of meaning since most of the scene is hung over, but 
 perhaps in the coming weeks we'll discover if anyone's made any New Year's
 Resolutions release wise.

 In the meantime I'd like to thank all of those who have offered help,
 constructive criticism, and just idle thoughts in regards to the report.
 I won't go into listing everyone, but if you fall into this category,
 thanks!

 *NOTE* Last weeks report (#4) was released independantly of NWR due to
        delays with the publication of NWR Issue 29. Since this is a 
        weekly report the information within becomes dated fairly quickly 
        - but NWR remains my home. =)         
                             
 Disclaimer: It's BIASED moron. My opinion. So don't send me a bunch of 
             mail & messages bitching about this or that. If you don't 
             like it... SCREW YOU =]

 Rankings: Groups get a score out of 10. Points are given for amount of
           releases, but QUALITY titles will give a group a much higher 
           score. Nukes for duping, broken releases and just plain CRAP 
           will lower a groups score. However on the occasion that a title 
           is nuked which I don't feel should have been, MY OWN JUDGEMENT 
           TAKES PRECEDENCE. Cuz I'm writing this. Groups can also get 
           points for any other reason I see fit.

 Week: Week is based from 12/27/98 to 01/02/99. I'm in the EST time zone 
       so dates/times run according to it.

 Groups: (In no particular order)
 
 � ����� �        �      �
  ��� ������ �  ���  ����� A Group
   ��� �� �� ����� ���  � That Gives
  ������ �������� ��    �� Slightly
 ����   ����  �� ������  � Less Than
  ���    ���   �� ����    �� A Fuck.
   �      �     �  �          -XeN

 PIRATES WITH ATTITUDE:

 Releases: N/A

 With the amount of idleness these guys have shown of late, I sure hope they
 don't give a fuck. But even with the lack of presence seen over the past
 year, PWA is still arguably the greatest utils release group ever - which
 means you can never afford to count them out. Still its been awfully quiet
 from this camp recently, even for PWA...
 Total: N/A   

 ������ ��� ���������� ��۲� ��� � � ܲ�
 � � �����۲  ������ �������� ������� �
    �����  ������������ �����޲� ���۲
   �����   ޲��  ����޲ � ߲߲�   �����
  ��������� ���  ܲ۲ ۲�    ��������۲
   ��۲��  �   ����    �  �� ޲  �߲��
 ��������+ The Corporation +� �� �gas!��

 THE CORPORATION:

 Releases:

 Seagate.Cynergy.Wininstall.v6.0-CORP                           [06 x 2.88MB]
 OfficeTalk.98.v2.0-CORP                                        [05 x 2.88MB]
 Cinax.Media.Palette.Plus.v1.5-CORP                             [05 x 1.44MB]
 Lap.Link.Tech.Version.2.0-CORP                                 [08 x 1.44MB]
 Norton.Antivirus.for.Internet.E-Mail.Gateways.v1.02-CORP       [05 x 1.44MB]
 Norton.Antivirus.Network.Manager.Configuration.Tool.W95NT-CORP [02 x 1.44MB]
 Norton.Antivirus.Network.Administrator.Tools.W95NT-CORP        [05 x 1.44MB]
 Amicus.Attorney-CORP                                           [10 x 1.44MB]
 Model.Office.8005.Quotes.Speeches.and.Toasts-CORP              [03 x 1.44MB]
 Model.Office.8005.Quotes.Speeches.and.Toasts.DIZFIX-CORP       [01 x 1.44MB]

 The Corporation has really come on strong the past two weeks, and it looks
 as if they really want to give Siege a run for the money. This is certainly
 a strong group, and it shows. They've managed to overcome the loss of
 members such as Semaj, as well as some quality difficulties. This week
 saw them start off well and then die out after the first two days, picking
 up again Friday night and continuing on through Saturday. Expect more
 activity next week as hangovers fade - which could mean a lot of releases.
 Total: 8/10
 
 .      )\_______)\__)\_______)\_______ .
 .   __/   __  _/  _/    ____/     ___/ .
 .   \__    / _\   \_____   \    ___/__ :
 .   :/         \   \   /    \   /     \|
 :   |\___/     /___/_____   /___      /|
 :   | \_/_____/\____ /_____/___/_____/ |
 :...`---\_____\/----/_flr_/---/_p^D_/--'

 RISE:

 Releases: 

 PARAMETRIC.TECH.CORP.PRO.MECHANICA.RELEASE.20.CRACKED.NT-RiSE  [67 x 1.44MB]
 PARAMETRIC.TECH.CORP.PRO.MECHANICA.RELEASE.20.CRACKED.95-RiSE  [66 x 1.44MB]
 ANDROMEDIA.PHOTO.TILER.PAGE.MAKER.PLUGIN-RiSE                  [01 x 1.44MB]
 MODEL.TECH.INC.MODELSIM.ELITE.EDITION.v5.2C.FINAL.CRACKED-RiSE [10 x 1.44MB]

 Well I hate to say I told ya so... in any case like I said last week, RISE
 has the releases, and they finally got some out this time around. Good work
 on all this week, with nice high-end apps - this is where quality shows.
 Total: 8/10
 
    ���������  �             ��
 �- ��� ��  ��� ����-��-�-� ��� -��-��-�Ŀ
 :   ������������������ ��������������� ��
 ����۲ ��� ��� ��� ��� ��� ��� ��� ��� �:
 :  ��� ��� ��� ������  ��� ��� ������   .
 �� ��� �۲ �۲ ��� �۲ ��� ��� ��� ������
 :  ������������������� ������� ��� ���  :
 � �� �����������������  roy��� ��� ��� ��
                       ��   ��� ��� �۲
                         �� ���  ������
                           ��۲
                             ��
 SIEGE:

 Releases:

 MOVIE.MAGIC.SCREENWRITER.V3.02M-SiEGE              [04 x 1.44MB]
 SOFTTOOLS.NT.V2.1.FOR.SOFTIMAGE.AND.MAYA-SiEGE     [01 x 1.44MB]
 Rayflect.4.Seasons.v1.0.For.Adobe.Photoshop-SiEGE  [01 x 1.44MB]
 PARTICLE.STORM.2.FOR.LIGHTWAVE.3D-SIEGE            [01 x 1.44MB] 
 GRIME.V1.0.FOR.LIGHTWAVE.3D-SiEGE                  [01 x 1.44MB]
 TREEDRUID.V1.2.FOR.LIGHTWAVE.3D-SiEGE              [01 x 1.44MB]
 FRACTALIZER.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D.SERIAL.FIX-SIEGE       [01 x 1.44MB]
 LOCK.AND.KEY.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D-SIEGE                 [01 x 1.44MB]
 ADVANCED.GRADIENT.CONTROLLER.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D-SIEGE [01 x 1.44MB]
 FRACTALIZER.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D-SIEGE                  [01 x 1.44MB]
 THOR.V1.2.FOR.LIGHTWAVE.3D-SiEGE                   [01 x 1.44MB]
 SHADERMAN.V2.3.FOR.LIGHTWAVE.3D-SiEGE              [01 x 1.44MB]
 REALITOOLS.VOL2.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D-SiEGE              [01 x 1.44MB] 
 REALITOOLS.VOL1.FOR.LIGHTWAVE3D-SiEGE              [01 x 1.44MB]
 AUTODESK.ACTRIX.TECHNICAL-SiEGE                    [17 x 1.44MB]

 This week saw Siege pick up where they left off before that dreadfully
 slow Christmas stretch - with quality releases at a steady pace. A lot
 of plugins though, and I don't run Lightwave so I can't test them. A good
 week finished up with Autodesk Actrix. More mainstream standalone apps
 would have been preferable (at least to me =]).
 Total: 7/10

 ����������������������������������[XX/XX]�
 ��� ��� �  ������ ���� ������  ����   ����
 ۲� ۲� � ��� ۲� � ۲� �� ۲� � ��� �� ۲
 ۱� ۱�   ۰� �� �� ۱� �� ۱� � ��� ����
 ������� � ۱���� �� ۰� ��   ��� ۲� �� ��
 ۱� ۲� � ۲� � ۲� ۰� �� � ۲� ۱� �� ۲
 ��� ۱� � ���  ���������� � ������� �����
 ��� ��� � ���������������� � ����� sikos �

 X-FORCE:
 
 Releases:

 FOTOSYNC_COLOR_FACTORY_V3.0_BUILD_55-XFORCE          [04 x 1.44MB]
 ULTIMATE_TOOLBOX_FOR_MFC_2ND_EDITION_DEC_1998-XFORCE [06 x 1.44MB]
 DISCREET_LOGIC_EDIT_V4.013-XFORCE                    [40 x 1.44MB]
 FOTOSTATION_3.5.1_BUILD_42-XFORCE                    [03 x 1.44MB]

 Yawn. Its been a long fall for a group that was once considered the 
 top utils group in the scene. This week we saw some builds (blah) and
 another Ultimate Toolbox edition, as well as Discreet Logic, which was a 
 tad oversize at 117MB, but I doubt anyone will care. Like I said, yawn.
 Total: 5/10

      /\______/|                   ___/\_
    _/ ______ :|; . __/\  ____/\ __|   //
 %%%\____  \   |__:_\__ \/  ~~ :\_ | __/%%%%
 iii_/ :|  \\_    \  ;|  \_ |____/    \iiiii
 :::\__   ; _/ |  \\_ :  // |  \\_ |  \\_:::
      \____/---|____/____/_______/-|____/kaz

 SHOCK:

 Releases:

 JavaPC.v1.1-SHOCK                                 [31 x 1.44MB]
 Internet.Shopping.and.Travel.with.Java.v3.5-SHOCK [07 x 1.44MB] 
 Netmosphere.Project.Home.Page.v1.1.Win95-SHOCK    [22 x 1.44MB]
 Netmosphere.Project.Home.Page.v1.1.WinNT-SHOCK    [21 x 1.44MB]
 Sax.Basic.Engine.Professional.v5.1-SHOCK          [05 x 1.44MB]

 Shock hasn't been releasing the mass of titles it did during its
 early days in 1996 and early 1997 - but in the past two months there
 has been a noticable increase in quality, as seen through titles like
 Sun Microsystem's JavaPC and others.
 Total: 7/10

    _ ___________ _ ________ ___________ __ _
   ____________ \_________ \_________  \____
    _ _/_     / _ __/   /  ____/    /  _ __/
     /     ______//_   /     /_    /_____/
   _//_    _     \_   /     /_      /
   \_______/  _ _//__/   _ _// _ _//mG(CiA)
 =[ENT]===/______/==/_______/_____/=====[ENT]=

 ENTITY:

 Releases: N/A

 I said last week that January would be proving time for Entity. I don't
 really consider the past seven days to be part of that, but the next four
 weeks will really show whether or not the group can remain to be a real
 challenger.
 Total: N/A

 .  ���       ���      ���
 .����������� ���������������� --- .------.
 : ����   ��� ����     ���                .
 | ����   ���� ����    ���                :
 | ����   ��� ����    ����   ����     .   :
 | ���������  �۲�     �������۲�         .
 .ܲ����      �����        ��    PRESENTS :
 |                                        :
 :                                 [xx/xx].
 '---.-------PENTIUM FORCE TEAM-- ---- - -'

 PENTIUM FORCE TEAM:

 Releases:
 
 Frontman.Designer.4.4.14-PFT              [17 x 1.44MB]
 HomeSite.4.0d.aka.4.01-PFT                [06 x 1.44MB]
 ColdFusion.Studion.4.0.0.1402-PFT         [09 x 1.44MB]
 Microsoft.Office.2000.Developer.Beta1-PFT [41 x 1.44MB]
 Micropath.2001.version.2.15.0-PFT         [08 x 1.44MB]
 Platinum.SQL.Station.v4.11-PFT            [23 x 1.44MB]
 SmartMart.Copy.Manager.v3.3.124-PFT       [10 x 1.44MB]
 PLATINUM.ModelMart.Manager.3.02-PFT       [15 x 1.44MB]
 Form_Tool_Express.v1.0-PFT                [09 x 3MB]
 
 PFT started off slow this week, then exploded on the first day of 1999,
 releasing 7 apps. Great way to start the new year guys! As far as the
 releases go, nothing spectacular - we saw some Allaire products (minor
 versions), an MS beta, and Frontman designer, of which we saw 23 versions
 released in 1998. Still, it's a new year, new releases, so nicely done.
 Total: 7/10

  ________                           ________
 |        |_________________________|__      |
 |        |        _      \        ___/      |
 |        |        /       \        \        |
 |________|_______/ [xx/xx]/\________________|
 ----------------/________/>bds!------------

 LEGENDS NEVER DIE:

 Releases:

 PROVENTURE.MAIL.LIST.v1.0-LND                         [10 x 1.44MB]
 HP_ADVANCED_DESIGN_SYSTEM_V1.1_BETA-LND               [32 x 2.88MB]
 HP_ADVANCED_DESIGN_SYSTEM_V1.1_BETA_MODULE_ADDON-LND  [11 x 2.88MB]
 HP_ADVANCED_DESIGN_SYSTEM_V1.1_BETA_LIBRARY_ADDON-LND [19 x 2.88MB]
 NETDYNAMICS_SERVER_STUDIO_V4.13-LND                   [25 x 2.88MB]
 PROVENTURE_DATABASE_v1.0-LND                          [25 x 1.44MB]

 LND picked up some new talent this week, and saw a couple store releases as
 a result (ProVenture titles from MySoftware Co). Not spectacular titles but
 releases nonetheless. They also added the latest NetDynamics version
 on top of that. Mixed in was a beta with (imo) too many addons for a beta
 app, but overall LND had a nice week.
 Total: 7/10

  .__________.                     [xx/xx/98]
   \_  ___   )  Da ToP oF Da LiNe!  .___.
 ===/   _/  /=======================/  /=====
 .:/  _____/__./(___.____/\.______./  /_____.
 :/  /__/  .  )  .  )____  )  _   )  /  __  )
 /__/  /  /  /  /  // __  /   /__/  /  /___/:
 .:/  /__/__/__/__/(______\____ /__/_____ /MO
 =/__/========================\/========\/===
 = THE PINNACLES OF RELEASING (C) PNC 95-98 =

 PINNACLE:

 Releases:

 DBSearch.v2.3-PNC                                               [01 x 1.44MB]
 Lotus.Easy.Sync.v2.1-PNC                                        [02 x 1.44MB]
 Dr.Solomons.Anti.Virus.Tool.Kit.Management.Edition.v3.5.1.for.NT[07 x 1.44MB]
 Lotus.X.400.MTA.v1.2-PNC                                        [06 x 1.44MB]
 The.Cam350.Family.v4.5.139-PNC                                  [03 x 1.44MB]

 For a second week in a row PNC is working to show it isn't dead. Amazing,
 two straight weeks of releases. Now Easy Sync was nuked as it's an app
 for Palm Pilot (this is shady ground here as it runs on a PC but is
 a tool for the pilot), so that takes some of the shine off. But they
 still did a few titles. Hmmm... not bad. Not great, but not bad.
 Total: 6/10

 � �� �� ��� �������������������� ��� �� �
 �� ��� �� �� � � �� � � �  � �  �  ���   �
  �  ����  � ���� �������  �  ���� �� �� ����
 ���������  ���� ����������������  � �������
 ߲�   ߲�  ߲� �߲� � �� ߲�߲� �޲�   ߲� �
 �� � ��� � � �� �� � � ���� � �� ��� � ��
 PREMiERE 1998 RELEASES WITH STYLE [xx/xx/98]
��������������������������������������������

 Premiere:

 Releases: 

 NetObjects.Fusion.v4.0.FINAL-PREMiERE                  [18 x 1.44MB]
 Koan.Pro.v2.10.10-PREMiERE                             [03 x 1.44MB]
 Year.2000.Detect.and.Correct.v1.0-PREMiERE             [01 x 1.44MB]
 Hot.Off.The.Web.v2.0-PREMiERE                          [05 x 1.44MB]
 WebGIZMO.v3.05-PREMiERE                                [04 x 1.44MB]
 Pagis.ScanWorks.v2.0-PREMiERE                          [28 x 1.44MB]
 Carello.Web.v1.0-PREMiERE                              [03 x 1.44MB] 
 Mouse.Tracks.v1.03.1-PREMiERE                          [09 x 1.44MB]
 Paladin.IMAP4.Email.v3.20a.Enterprise.Edition-PREMiERE [04 x 1.44MB]
 OfficeScan.v3.11.Corporate.Edition-PREMiERE            [22 x 1.44MB]
 SmartServer3.v3.31-PREMiERE                            [02 x 1.44MB]                  

 PRM suprised a lot of people with NetObjects Fusion 4 this week,
 and I had planned on giving them a "great job" type review for getting
 it done, until I was informed that it was released with a generic crack
 done by UCF. Premiere gave a response to this incident in the NFO of
 Y2K Detect & Correct, which basically says that Fusion (PRM leader) was
 unaware that the crack was stolen. Not much else to say here... I'm
 docking them points since the actual work was done by UCF (the program
 itself is available off the NetObjects FTP site). Even if they didn't
 know I still can't justify giving them points for others work. Aside 
 from that, an average week of releases, but Pagis ScanWorks was a bright
 spot. If not for NOF they would have scored higher.
 Total: 7/10

  _______________ ____________ ____________
  \_    ___      \_  ___      \   ___      \_
 _/      l/       /  l/       /    l/       /
 \______ /       /   /       /____ /       /|
 ======\________/\__________/[om]\________/==
 d(*)d D r i n k   O r   D i e  1 9 9 8 d(*)d
 ===================== [ DOD * xx-xxx-98 ] ==

 DRINK OR DIE:

 Releases: N/A
 Total: N/A

 ___ _ __________ ____________ ____ _____ ___
 \__\\_\_______  \__ _ ______/___  \_ __//__/
 ;;;;;;; /   \/   \\   ____/    /   \\ mg/SAC
 -)--- _/    /      \_  \_/   -/      \_ --(-
 ;;;;; \____/_ _   _//_  /______ _   _// ;;;;
 [xx/xx/98]/________/==\/====/________//[MfD]
 =[X]==][= MANiFEST DESTiNY RELEASE =][==[X]=

 MANIFEST DESTINY:

 Releases:

 Interactive.Disassembler.Pro.v3.80b-MANiFEST [10 x 1.44MB]
 Siemens.Simatic.Step7.v4.01-MANiFEST         [32 x 2.88MB]
 VirusScan.Policy.Editor.v1.0.Win9x-MANiFEST  [08 x 1.44MB]

 Three actual utils for MFD this week, mixed in with their usual amount
 of cracks, etc. Nothing really stands out amongst them though, Interactive
 Disassembler is nice though - but PWA released 3.80 at the end of November.
 Total: 6/10

 .�                                 [xX/Xx]�.
 :                               [xx/xx/98] :
 :  .__          .____                      :
 |__l  \._____.___\__/___ /^\__ /\___ .____ |
 l  |   \  _  l   \__/  l__    \     \l  _ \|
 l  :    |  __/.:__| \  __/  |  \ --  |  __/l
 l  _.   |    \ | |   |  \/\ _  |  .  |     \
 l__:    |____/__\|___|_   /_:__|--:  |\____/
 ||||___/:::::::��������\_/���:/_____/|[war]|
 |:�|-| HERiTAGE 1998 PROUDLY PRESENTS |-|�:|
 |||||||::::::::��������������::::::::|||||||
        [HTG] Looking for a WHQ [HTG]

 HERITAGE:

 Releases:

 WebToDo.98.v2.0.for.25.Users-Heritage     [05 x 1.44MB] 
 OnTap.Quick.Reference.Guide.v1.0-Heritage [01 x 1.44MB]
 OnTap.v1.08.Win9xNT-Heritage              [01 x 1.44MB]

 Nukes hurt HTG again this week, as the OnTap release was a Palm Pilot
 app. Which leaves WebToDo 98 2.0 as their only legit app.
 Total: 3/10

  _______________________________[xx/xx]
  \_ _  \_ ____/_ _  \_ ____/ |_\  ___/
  /    _/  ___)/    _/  ___)  | \___  \
 /   |  \_ |  \   |  \  |  \  :  \  :  \
 \___|   /___  \____  \___  \___  \___  \
 ====|__/===\__/===\__/==\__/==\__/==\__/
   REBELS: WE MAKE ALL DAYS PARTY DAYS
   >> RELEASING WITHOUT PERMISSION <<

 REBELS:

 Releases:

 NIPrint32_v3.2q_Win9xNT-RBS                  [01 x 1.44MB] 
 Circuit_Maker_v6.1C_and_Traxmaker_v3.02C-RBS [01 x 5MB]

 Well to be honest I was hoping for a bit more from Rebels, but it is
 the holidays and most people were in a virtual coma for the past two weeks
 (and if you weren't, WHY THE HELL NOT?? =]). Anyways I expect more
 activity next week.
 Total: 4/10            

 �ܲ��߰�  Teknorage and Pirasoft Present: ܰ��ܰ��
 � ��                                           � �
 ۲�cH/SAC            ����      �����  [xx\xx]  ߲�
 �   ������� �   ��������۲ ��۲����۲� ��������� �
 �����۲ ���   �����������������������������������
 ��������������� ���������� ���� ����� �����������
  ������ ������������ ����������������� ��� �����
  �������������� ���������� ���������� �� �������
 ܲ��۲ܲ�������������߲��  ���۲�� �����ݲ�������
      ��������� ������   ���  ���    ������������
 ���ܲ��� ���     �          �              ��� ��
 ��� �����  xx/xx/98  ������  Ratzhole WHQ � ߲���

 TRPS:

 Releases:

 Quantum.v3.3.Win9xNT-TRPS                      [13 x 1.44MB]
 Ultra.WinCleaner.Windows.Retail-TRPS           [04 x 1.44MB]
 InDefense.AntiVirus.V2.0.ProMaster.Retail-TRPS [02 x 1.44MB]
 FacSys.Web.Agent.v2.1.Win9xNT-TRPS             [07 x 1.44MB]
 Active.Fax.Messaging.SDK.Win9xNT-TRPS          [04 x 1.44MB]
 SpamEater.Pro.v2.6.1.Win9xNT-TRPS              [01 x 1.44MB]
 File-AID.Client.Server.v2.00.11.Win9xNT-TRPS   [24 x 1.44MB]

 I can pretty much sum up the problem with TRPS in one release:

 Desks.At.Will.v2.60.499.Win9xNT.TRPS

 Minor version junk is killing what otherwise would be a fine team. And
 with the amount of titles they're already getting out there's no need for
 it. The aforementioned junk was released this week - meanwhile four other
 versions were put out in December alone, some by TRPS and others by TNO.
 So a note to Technorage & Pirasoft: lay off the junk and stick to the
 quality releases, you've already proved you can get them.
 Total: 7/10

 New this week: None

 Idle this week: DOD, ENT.

 Quote(s) of the Week: <_loke> is Lester ever around?
                       <_loke> or is he just ignoring me?
                       <Snapz> you have to offer to butt rape Lester before 
                               he'll answer you

 <XXX> -1231- (wishmstr/DiMENSiON) Hot.Off.The.Web.v2.0-PREMiERE
 <mr_zima>                         ^ thats for sure

 Wow two quotes this week!

 This was a tough week to score - a lot of nice releases from a lot of groups.
 SGE, CORP, PFT, SHK, RISE, PRM and TRPS all had some good quality apps.
 Overall CORP and RISE took the top in my eyes, but all those afore mentioned
 groups put in strong efforts.

 I may decide to review Versus next week, haven't quite made up my mind
 yet. They seem to have completely dropped the cracks and junky minor
 versions and are sticking to apps, so I guess I should consider them a utils
 group.
             
 I should note that one of the best utils released this week was by a group
 not even on this list - EVIL released Kai's Power Soap 2.0 - haven't checked
 it out yet myself but I'm a big fan of MetaTools (or anything that lets my
 uninspired mind create some half-decent artwork). 

 Well thats it for another week, hope this at least past some time for ya! ;)
 
                                                                   - Bud

=----------------------------------=-------------------------------------=

=---------[ Lesters Movie Reviews ]----------=

   Sure he's a prominent scene member, leader of the #1 courier 
   group, and former "Miss Scene 1995".. But did you also know that 
   in real life, Lester's real name is "Roger", and he hosts a popular 
   syndicated television show, where he plays a big fatass who has 
   nothing better to do with his time than go to every single movie 
   ever released?  Well.. now you know.. 



The Faculty
Dimension Films
Written by Kevin Williamson
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Bunch of teens, Salma Hayek, Famke Janssen.
Rating: 3 and 1/2 out of 4 stars

Well what a difference Mr. Williamson makes huh? I still know that you 
shouldn't make a horror movie without letting him write it. He's back 
again with another solid flick. The Faculty is original and though not the 
epic that Scream was, it is what it is, a smart and funny, yet scary and 
interesting horror movie. He continues to write movies that you don't sit 
through and go, well wtf is that, or come on how lame is that..etc..It's 
not 80's horror, and it's not ISKWYDLS. I forget the name of the kid who 
played Jamie Lee Curtis' son in H20, but he's back in this film and doing 
a much much better job. He's mr. cool here and full of witty lines. We 
also have Elijah Wood, who has always been a good actor, playing the 
local geek. The rest of the cast you may recognize but not be able to put 
a name too. It's a nice ensemble(oh ya Usher is in it too! She likes it 
MY WAY, ahem..sorry) The teachers are played by some pretty impressive 
names..Famke Janssen, the guy who played the bad guy in T2(liquid man), 
Salma Hayek and Jon Stewart, no huge names here. But they are all 
good actors and bring more of the movie together. I recommend this 
movie for all, it's not intensely grotesque or gory, there's a spot 
here and there as is expected, but overall it's not too bad. :) 
OH! I almost forget, the one chick also has a nice ass that you get to
 see, so if nothing else go check that out.


Mighty Joe Young
Disney Pictures
Starring: Bill Paxton(woohoo!), Charlize Theron(Hell yes:)), and a big 
fucking gorilla.
Rating: 2 Stars

Well, I finally saw the Star Wars preview in the theatres when I went 
to this showing, so the movie was insignificant to me in comparison 
to seeing that. But the movie itself was well, a big gorilla movie. 
It's not Godzilla, I will not say it's that bad, but it's nothing 
special or great. You have Charlize Theron, who is a goddess, but 
it's Disney so I mean where can she go with that?:) Rent 2 Days in 
The Valley if you really want to see her.(think tight spandex). Bill 
Paxton continues his running total of gimmick movies playing the same 
role. Twister, Titanic, etc. The movie takes far too long to set Joe 
loose in the streets, and the carnage that ensues is not nearly enough. 
Overall, the movie is decent, I'd say rent it, but seeing Big Joe on 
the Big Screen is not a neccessity.


You've Got Mail
Starring: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Dave Chapelle, Parker Posey
Rating: 3 and 1/2 out of 4 Stars

Well this movie has been out for like 2 weeks, and I've just finally 
gotten to it. Actually I just got home from it about 10 minutes ago. 
This is a cute movie, and if you have a girlfriend i'm sure you have 
already seen it. If not, I'd still suggest you go, or if you do have 
a girlfriend and you've been a real  prick and have avoided going to 
this. Then suck it up and take her. Hanks and Ryan are made for each 
other. They are perfect on screen as a pair. They did it in Sleepless 
in Seattle and now they are back and just as good as before. You don't 
want to miss this one.

=----------------------------------=-------------------------------------=

			The Abduction of Flight 666


It was Tuesday evening, Ndetroit was working on his laptop flying at 
35,000 feet, preparing NWR for it's release. I had been talking to him 
for a couple hours, putting the finishing touches on the articles, etc. 
Little did I know that at that very moment, Nd was in grave danger.

Around the time that Ndetroit was putting together the courier rankings, 
the Millennium Group was preparing to hijack the plane. Their leader, 
the ressurected Mossyjoke, was overseeing his crew of 6 men in their last 
minute preparations to take the plane. They had boarded through the cargo 
holds before takeoff and had been laying low, waiting for the perfect 
moment.

Midway through "Ever After", there was an explosion to the rear of the 
plane. 7 men in black clothing and night vision goggles swept forward on 
the plane. A medium built man named Caserd stepped up into the aisle, 
saying "What the fuck is this shit, back down muthafuckas". He took 
two steps towards the nearest assailant and took 3 shots pointcenter, 
slumping to the ground. The apparant leader of the team, spoke above 
the screaming, "Listen! No one moves and no one else will be killed, 
we only want one person", he paused and then said "Glen, head to the 
cockpit and oversee the pilots, have them divert the course"

Meanwhile Nd was saving his articles and trying to dcc them to me before 
they got to him. He msged me that men were taking the plane and to get 
NWR out with or without him, but unfortunately they ripped the laptop 
from him before I was able to obtain all the information. As soon as I 
saw him (EOF from Client), I lept up out of my chair and began assembling 
weapons, I made a quick phonecall to Stix, my arms dealer, to arrange 
for a plane that could get me onboard Nd's flight. Stix answered the 
phone slightly out of breath, leaving me to wonder exactly what he was 
doing before I called, but said he could get me setup within the hour. 
I hung up with him and finished putting together my arsenal.


Back on the plane...

5 more people had been shot and killed and finally the situation was 
contained. Mossyoak stood at the front of the plane, and his men were 
positioned throughout the plane to control the passengers. Nd was seated 
directly in front of Mossyoak. Mossyoak smacked Nd in the face, "Listen 
kid, we are sick of you printing that garbage about us, so we are taking 
you hostage until you consent to praising MNM for all of it's glory, or 
we will take you away where you can no longer do NWR anymore" Nd spit 
and looked up, saying "You hijacked a plane to prevent me from releasing 
an emag? Haha, you fucking loser." Mossy throws a punch into Nd's kidneys 
and then a smack in the face, knocking him out. "Sitez & Sacx, go up to 
the cockpit and deliver the message onto the net."

I met up with Stix about 45 minutes later and we boarded a Stealth jet
(think Executive Decision) and set out to track down the plane. During 
the flight I began asking Stix how things with Sarah Michelle Gellar 
were going. He said that she doesn't answer his love letters or calls 
anymore, and they issued a restraining order on him a couple days ago. 
I nodded and said that she had told me about it last night. A dark cloud 
fell over Stix's face and he went for his gun. Shaking my head and drawing 
my knife, I slammed my knife down through the palm of his hand and punched 
him in the face, knocking him unconcious. The rest of the flight was pretty 
uneventful after that.

Back on the plane, Nd had been escorted to the cargo holds with Mossyoak 
and Union. The rest of the passengers were told to sit and not cause 
trouble or they would be shot. In the cargo holds, they had tied Nd down 
and were continually whipping him with their belts, but Nd refused to give 
in, only laughing at their attempts. So Mossy said he would make him 
change his mind for sure, and unzipped.

Around that same time I was coming up under the plane and preparing for 
the docking procedure. I gathered up my gear, and thanked Stix for his 
help, withdrawing my knife from his hand. I climbed the ladder and popped 
the hatch on the bottom of the plane, slowly climbing up into the lower 
depths. I sealed the hatch and took a look at my surroundings. As I was 
gathering my senses, I heard alot of grunting and some muffled cries. 
Withdrawing my Glock and screwing on the silencer I began to creep 
forward to see what was happening(though I had a pretty good idea already). 
As I turned the corner I saw Union standing off to one side of the room, 
sweating and flogging the bishop. Vylent was hunched over my good buddy 
Nd and pounding away. I stepped around the corner and put a bullet through 
Union and as Vylent looked up in surprise I removed the upper portion of 
his head, much to his dismay I imagine. Nd crawled out from under the mess 
and looked at me. "Dude, this is getting a little old, my ass is really 
starting to hurt. What's with all these gay motherfuckers?" Laughing, I 
said, "I don't know man, your just one attractive fellow I guess. How many 
others are there?" Zipping up his pants, Nd replied, "4 more, plus the 
leader Mossyoak. One guy is up in the cockpit and then the 3 are scattered 
about the plane."

"Ok, hang back here and clean up, I'll be back shortly."

With that I began to climb up and peaked out into the cabin, sure enough, 
three MNM'ers were scattered about the cabin. There was Sitez, a small man 
with thick glasses and a slight hunchback. Towards the middle of the cabin, 
there was Sacx, a tall and skinny black man, with unusually long arms and 
legs and a very small head. And finally near the front of the plane there 
was Glen, a chubby little fellow that looked alot like a rolly polly, you 
know those little bugs that if you poke em they turn into a ball?  
Well one of those. 
Nd had said he was in the cockpit, so I wonder where the third one and 
Mossyoak had gone off to, but no time to worry about that. It's time to 
take these fools out. Crawling on the floor, I got directly beneath Sitez 
and slamming my knife up through his scrotum, I rolled up to my feet and 
shot Sacx twice in both shoulders and spun and shot Glen in the stomach. 
I didn't really feel the need to kill them all just yet. I asked some of 
the passengers where the others were, and I was told that one headed back 
to the rear of the plane and Mossyoak was in the cockpit. Immediately an 
alarm went off in my head and I feared for Nd's safety.

At that same moment...

Ndetroit was busy cleaning up and trying to find a cushion to sit on. 
A gasp was uttered from behind him and he spun around to find that Moonsabre 
had snuck up behind him and noticed his two dead teammates. He rushed nd 
and slammed him to the ground, screaming, "How dare you defy MNM, we are 
greater than you can imagine, I will show you your place in the real world 
boy!" 

I burst back into the cargo hold to find a medium built man with long long 
hair pounding into my poor Nd again. I grabbed his hair and ripped him off 
of Nd, spinning him in a circle and throwing him against the wall, crushing 
his back and left forearm. Enraged, I drew my exacto knife and proceeded 
to quickly slice him in numerous places, producing him to a nice piece of 
swiss cheese. I looked back and told Nd to be more careful and clean himself 
up, I just had to take care of Mossyoak and then we'd be back. His face was 
white as he looked at me, dripping with blood and breathing heavy. I withdrew 
to the cabin and snapped Sitez neck on the way, taking my knife back. I slit
 Sacx's throat and then sat down next to Glen for a little chat. "Buddy, you 
picked the wrong motherfucker to fuck with, I am not by nature a violent 
man, but I do not take kindly to you fucking with my friend." Glen, now 
terminally bleeding, starting stammering "Look man, I just work here, I 
didn't know it was gonna be like this, Mossyoak is insane, I want no more 
part of this, come on man, just leave me be." Taking a moment to think 
this over, I then decided to let him live, saying "Hey people, help this 
guy out, see if you can stop the bleeding, I will  take care of the final 
problem." 

Getting up, I busted through the cockpit door and pointed my gun at 
Mossyoak, but he was ready and had his gun pointed at the pilot, the 
co-pilot was already dead. He said, "If you shoot me, I will shoot the 
pilot and everyone on this plane will die. One way or another, everyone 
will know that MNM is the best, and NWR will no longer be around to 
spread the lies of our death!" 

Shaking my head I said to him, "Have you lost your fucking mind bitch? 
You are committing murder and hijacking a jumbo jet because of a magazine 
making fun of you? You need to take some valium bro. Now put down the gun 
and let's end this little charade."

"No, I will be victorious, for I am the great Mossyoak, the greatest 
leader the scene has ever known!" With that he raised his arms in the air 
in a kind of victory stance, giving me the split second I needed to unload 
my clip into him, sending him spiralling against the wall, a bloody dead 
heap. I told the pilot to steer back on course and get us on the ground 
ASAP. Heading back through the cabin I saw that the passengers had done 
their best but Glen had not made it, just another casualty of Mossyoak's 
insanity. I headed back to see how Nd was holding up. He was there, 
wiping blood from his neck and face. I said to him, "Hey buddy, how's 
the ass?" 

"Your a dick you know that?" 

"You don't have much luck with dicks so I'd be careful buddy. Anyways, 
the MNM fools are done with and we are heading home. Go get a comfortable 
seat and strap in, I wouldn't want you to trip and fall on someones dick. 
Hahahaha" 

Nd sighed and headed back to the cabin. 

And that is the reason that NWR was late this week, so I think you all 
should be a little more compassionate to us NWR editors, we take great 
pangs to get the mag out to you!

                                                -Lester
=----------------------------------=-------------------------------------=


-----------[The Scene News]-----------

All the news thats fit to print... 
and then some...

-Fuck there was a lot of news in the past 2 weeks... Problem is, with 3 
 4 good pages that are updated every day, does anyone wanna bother reading
 what the fuck i have to say?? BAHAHAHA of course you fucking do, you 
 bitches..

-BTW... contrary to what he might claim in channels... glen is NOT sky
 masterson... keep dreaming, little boy... ;p

-Here is where you need to go: Unions cool page, with art by rocker: 
 union.jaded.com. Blackacid's page (i still like the old black/white
 design better, btw) http://cpu1058.adsl.bellglobal.com/tca/1024x768.html

-OK... The Players Club, grind's games group that was once mediocre at 
 best is back to uhhh.... to... uhh.... to....... to try and out-idle BLH,
 and DVN... good luck TPC!!!

-Uhhh.. TV is now OGN WHQ?? Wtf?? A US site?... i am glad to see a US
 site do well, but... uhh... does anyone want another 3 HD's?   ;p

-PREMiERE is back... nice to see fusion doing his thing again, and looks
 like the majority of their releases have been quality, and they even 
 admitted to whatever the fuck happened with NOF 4, which is cool, so 
 we'll see what happens.. They also have TMS and STH now, so... 
 If you don't like the fact that i am saying smth good about PRM, then
 suck me.. i also don't care about Y2K if that makes you feel any better.. 
 ;p

-So.. Garoto quit razor, and kruzin joined.. BUT.. a bunch of oldschool rzr
 ppl got together, and had kruzin forcibly "removed" from the group, so.. 
 stupid of razor to take him in the first place, but good work to them for
 figuring shit out, and kicking his ass... ;p

-uhhh.. Risc... what the fuck are you guys doing?? "Probation" my ass. You
 kicked those guys and you know it. But the scene backlash was a little too
 much for you to handle, so they are now on "trial".. HELLO.. HEY YOU STUPID
 SHITS.. YOU DON'T PUT PEOPLE LIKE CRUEGER, FRONTHEAD, AND BLEACHBOY ON TRIAL.
 YOU BEG THEM TO IDLE IN YOUR WORTHLESS CHANNEL, AND WHEN THEY SAY "Give me
 a leech site", you fucking BEG for a FS, or ET leech for them, BECAUSE THEY
 FUCKING MADE RiSC WHAT IT IS... or was..

 STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.... a bunch of fucking monkeys running risc... 

-Uhh... both semaj and bwound have died in horrific auto-erotic-asphixiation
 deaths.. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and if they try to msg you,
 well.. just ignore them, it is someone playing a cruel joke pretending to
 be them... RIP...   ;]

-http://ppgr.webjump.com belongs to Prozac.. go there.

-Looks like OGN got The Renegade Chemist, a former (and current?) scene legend.
 The dude used to rip shit up for the blade, back in the day, so... that was
 some nice work by OGN.. 

-good work to godbless this week, with a ridiculous amount of points on the
 NWR weektop thingy... nice..

-group moves: kruzin to rzr, kruzin to TPC; youthx to RiSC+RiSE; bizzybone
 to MnM, bizzybone to DMS; zachf to KAC; jess to VGN; sacx+redman to ogn, 
 trc to ogn; semaj retires, then dies; moonsabre back to MFD; cedric to 
 AoD;       and dark druid retires....

-Cedric got into a big fight with a bunch of MnM ppl and jumped ship for Aod,
 which is cool, cause AoD has JOKER, and he owns you all.. 

-EQUALITY is doing well.. Lester didn't mention them, so i thought i would.
 Of course, they ARE the group who INVENTED PFTP.. so.. i dunno whether to
 believe that they are legit, or what.. 

-avault.com is still stealing scene trainers.. bahahahaha... 

-i bought a new DVD player and a PSX with all that crack-money that i 
 have made... anyone wanna give me a leech acct on a PSX site? BAHAHAH
 (do they have DVD sites yet?)     ;p

					             -sky masterson
=----------------------------------=----------------------------------------=


--------[Stories from the Watercooler]----------

Ahh yes, rumors, we all love them even though we love to say how much we 
hate them when they are about us. And these are some of the better ones
circulating around this week. Email us or find us on irc if you have a 
good rumor you'd like entered, your name will not be included, but we
do not add rumors like that say "Tdpriest is having anal sex with Fusion"
because we know that Fusion is only having sex with Xtremist and therefore
there is no hard evidence of that rumor, so if you have real rumors, let us
know. Let's begin!


-Rumor has it (from a very reliable source!) that mandrake's boyfriend 
 George has really just been a blowup doll and that mandrake's real lover 
 is his "pet" kangeroo named "Jerry".

-Rumor has it that MnM and Aod are set to MERGE into one super-group, with
 XFROG being voted in as leader... the new group is going to be called
 MUOD.

-Rumor has it that Jess is on the pill, and is not used to the mood-swing
 side-effects. Rumor also has it that she is set to join RiSC.. or smth..

=-------------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


Well friends.. Thats about it. If you've read this far, we sincerly thank you.
We like to know this thing gets read, so if you get the time, drop one of us
a quick msg, and tell us what you think, give us suggestions, tell us it sucks,
or just say "hi" to us!....

Greets fly out to: jaydee, mgd, stix, tdp, hr, eci, jamili, raptor, skill,
mandrake, zeus, speedy, subzero, superfly@okcomputer, dee, sj, paledeth, dur,
tech+his crew, Kusa, ssava, acidapple, and all the rest of you that we love...

Find us on IRC in #nwr, (channel commands: !nwr 23, or whatever issue you want), 
or email us at our phearsome address:  (that may or may not still work!)

netmonkey@penis.com

Please Support This Emag And Collect Weektops And Send to:
duranged@inetworld.net


take care..

peace.

                                       -ndetroit + lester.

NWR 1/04/98