💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › IR › ir202.txt captured on 2021-12-04 at 18:04:22.
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s$
.d""b. impulse reality press no. 202 - at war with anada.
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$ $ "yeah, it's fucked up."
$ $ written by linear
$ $ released 10/10/02
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allow me to express an opinion which is dull
and cliche` and generic and lame; like most
opinions held...
women totally suck.
i don't mean that in any misogynist EAT MEAT WIFE-BEAT I AM A MACHO GUY
way. no, not at all. surely if i were gay, i'd hate men just as much. come
to think of it, i already hate men.
hopefully that means i'm gay. it'll make my life a little easier.
why can't i tell her? i have to tell her! she knows how i feel. she knows how
much i love her, how badly i want to be hers. and sometimes, i almost believe
her when she hints that some of these feelings are shared mutually. are they?
some how i doubt it.
and god damn it, tonight is the night i tell her.
tonight i'll tell her how sick i am of playing this game.
she knows i love her. now she just needs to know that
i refuse to stand by while she refuses to take action.
damn right. here i go. i'll tell her tonight.
-somewhere in the distance, a phone rings-
"HELLO?"
"hi jared!"
yes, of course, it's her. it always is.
and yes, of course, i'm going to tell her!
"how was your day, jared?"
yet, fuck! i can't! i hear that voice, and god.
it always happens. i melt like the jack ass i am.
"hey, i miss you."
"i miss you too."
and the more i hear that voice, the less i care that
i'm stuck playing this stupid game. i no longer care
that i'm being tortured by her inactivity. she makes
it all go away with that innocence behind her voice.
we both know that she's playing me, and god damn it,
i need to let her know: it's either all or none.
but i never do. because being the OTHER GUY in her relationship is somehow
better than being NO GUY in her life.
<gavin> yeah, it's fucked up.
<gavin> cos you don't want to ruin the little bit of time you actually get to
spend with her...
<gavin> like the divorced dad who only sees his spoiled asshole kids every
other weekend, and lets them get away with fucking murder.
why can't i JUST BRING ALL THIS UP around her?
I can take rejection - really, i can. it'll be horrible and all, but
somehow in the end i'll be able to manage. i can take it. but i don't
even give myself the chance to be rejected! for some reason i stop
caring about all this stuff that KILLS me late at night or on boring
weekends and after dull school days as soon as i get to talk to her.
i should kick my own ass for not taking action. and hate her for her
inaction as well! but i could never hate her. and she knows that.
[Scorpio Horoscope]
You may feel a bit indecisive today, dear Scorpio, especially when it comes
to emotional issues. You may feel the need to take action on what your are
feeling, and it would probably be best if you do so, but make sure you are
truly acting from your heart.
even my horoscopes can decide what i should do.
when'll -i- be able to decide what i should do?
i suppose it is inherent to human existence to
always feel somewhat discontent. or at least
to my existence
<her> adios mi amor
fuck it. i've never taken action before.
i'm doomed to just sit back and accept
things. that's how it's always been.
somedays i like it.
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the clever thing to do here would be to put some sort of copyright. no.
http://www.phonelosers.net/ir
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