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Emotional Intelligence Doesn t Translate Across Borders

Andy Molinsky

April 20, 2015

One of the greatest assets we have as natives of a culture is our ability to

quickly read another person s emotions. Over time we learn how to understand

whether our colleagues are truly interested in a project or just giving it lip

service by noticing the expression on their faces. We can tell when someone

really likes something we ve proposed by the way they react. And we can often

detect motivation as well: whether someone is truly willing to put in the extra

time and effort to make something happen, just by seeing the fire in their eyes

or the passion in their voice.

The problem, of course, comes when we cross cultures and venture into a

completely different world of emotional expression. Emotions vary tremendously

across cultures both in terms of their expression and their meaning. Without

a detailed understanding of these emotional landscapes, crossing cultures can

become a communication minefield.

Take, for example, the expression of enthusiasm. In the United States, it s

culturally acceptable, even admirable, to show enthusiasm in a business

setting, assuming it s appropriate for the situation. When arguing for a point

in a meeting, for example, it is quite appropriate to express your opinions

passionately; it can help to convince those around you. Or when speaking with a

potential employer at a networking event, it is often encouraged to express

your interest quite enthusiastically; the employer may interpret how invested

you are in a job based on your expressed eagerness.

In many other cultures, however, enthusiasm means something quite different. In

Japan, for example, there are strict boundaries about when and where people are

allowed to display emotion. During the regular workday, Japanese individuals

are not typically emotionally expressive. Even if they feel excited about their

work, they will rarely show it explicitly. This often changes outside of the

workplace setting, though, where Japanese people can show a great deal of

emotion for example, when drinking, having dinner with work colleagues, or

singing karaoke. In China, self-control and modesty are the coin of the realm,

not one s ability to outwardly express emotion. In fact, expressing too much

outward enthusiasm, especially in front of a boss, could be seen as showing

off, which is not typically condoned in Chinese culture.

And it s not just in East Asian cultures where American-level enthusiasm and

outward expression of emotion isn t culturally appropriate. In the UK, people

are typically far more understated and subdued than Americans are. A truly

outstanding achievement, for example, is often characterized as not bad. And

when people ask how each other are doing, the typical answer is fine (as

opposed to Great! or Good! as it might be in the U.S.). What Americans

might describe as an exciting initiative at work might pass without comment

in Britain. Again, like in many East Asian cultures, people in the UK value

moderation and self-control rather than emotional expressiveness per se.

The problem, however, is that very few managers are aware of these differences

or at least consciously aware of them. American bosses can be surprised by

the lack of passion or interest of their UK or Asian counterparts when, in

fact, these folks may be quite interested but just show it differently. In the

reverse situation, individuals from outside the U.S. can be frustrated by how

superficial Americans are when offering a big smile, handshake, or hug, not

necessarily realizing that these expressions may actually be quite genuine and

authentic.

Given these differences and the importance of getting it right when

communicating across cultures, what are thoughtful managers to do? A first tip

is to treat emotions like another language. If you re traveling or moving to

France, you re bound to learn French, or at least some key phrases. Treat

emotions in the same way.

Try your best to learn the language of emotions in whatever culture you re

working in. Observe whether people tend to express emotions readily or keep

them to themselves, and if, like in the Japan example above, there are

differences in when and where people freely express emotion. Diagnose any gaps

between how you d express emotions in your culture and how people you ll be

interacting with express emotion in theirs.

In addition to learning the language of emotions, make sure you also learn how

to respond constructively when you do encounter emotions different from your

own. For example, if you re expecting a smile from your boss after suggesting a

new idea but instead get a blank stare, don t necessarily assume she hates you

or your idea. Instead, gather more information to fully understand her point of

view. You might ask a follow-up question to get a better sense of her opinion:

Ask if your proposal was clear or if she felt your idea addressed the concerns

she had. Keep in mind that cultural norms differ in terms of how appropriate it

might be to ask questions like these to your boss, but the general idea is to

do what you can to collect data to help you decipher emotional expressions,

rather than relying solely on your initial, knee-jerk reaction or presumption.

Emotions are tricky business when crossing cultures, but by paying attention to

and understanding the language of emotions, you ll feel fulfilled and proud of

yourself even if you don t necessarily show it.

Andy Molinsky is an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at the

Brandeis International Business School. He is the author of the book Global

Dexterity: How to Adapt Your Behavior across Cultures without Losing Yourself

in the Process (HBR Press, 2013). Follow Andy on twitter at @andymolinsky.