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+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Hate and Discontent issue #5 | +-------------------+ +-------------------+ | How to kill a bunch of rocks| +------------------------------+ | (Asteroids tips) and | +------------------------------+ | more stupid fuckers | | and how to kill them all dead!!| fucking box don't fit!!! wEll fuck it.. +------------------------------+ So you wanan play fucking ASteroids. Evne though its probably by some tiny-dicked little yellow chink bastard with slanty eyes and shit. Well thats OK. i like little diciks two. Here's how to do itRIGHT! ASTEROIDS FIGHTING TECHNIQUES: Each game begins with your ship in the middle of the screen. As asteroids approach, reotate your ship into position and begin firing. As the number and direction of asteroids change, you will need to fly and maneuver. Do not sti still two long! Manoover and attack!!!1 CRUISING - Just as you can shoot off the screen, your shp can fly off the screen and return on the other side. This flight patterns is called cruising. It allows your ship to cover the whole screen and to shoot at ships and asteroids on the run. AS you cruise, swing your ship's nose slightly from side to sid ean difre as you fly by enemy targets. This method makes it harder for enemy ships to shoot you! This attack is also useful against asteroids when there rae only a few left on the screen. ROCK STRATEGY - There is two common strategies for playing ASteroids. The first is the rock strategy. You use your ship to attack the large asteroids and keep on shooting until you destroy them completely through thier medium a nd small sizes.This is not possible with one pass so oyou must continue breaking up asteroids. Enemy ships can also be destroyed during hte rock attack, but the asteroids will sometimes interfere with yoru attack. Try to save one or two small asteroids for the second attack. HUNT STRATEGY- The second strategy is the hunt. In the hunt strategy, you allow one or two asteroids to remian on thescreen. Position your ship in either of the top corners and lurk there for enemy ships to apprear. If an enemy ship is out of range of your shot, you can use the curisng method to go after it: As i mentioned, large ships are slow and only fire in 1 direciton. To defeat them, approach from any direction the ship is not firng in and shoot. Try to shoot htese shisps without getting toooo close. The closer your are, the better change the enemy has to fuck you pu. Remember, the first wave you fac wil lhave 6 lage asteroids. Each new wave will have more lage asteroids. Small shipos will also attack more frequently. Your strategy remains basically the same, but you must react faster. Surviving these more difficult waves takes a lot of prac tice. The basic techniques for playing ASteroids are fairly simple. The skillful warrior is just very good at making his ship do what he wants it to do!! Its just like fucking!!!! TIPS FOR ASTEROIDS - - - * Keep moving! * Use the off=screen advantage in shooting and flying! * Learn the strategies fucker! * Attack astoierds first! * Shoot in front of omoving targets! * Use hyperspace to escape only with npot many asteroids left! I typded this in. -----------------------------