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Christina's December Questions

From

gemini://gemini.circumlunar.space/~christina/index.gmi

1. In the two weeks prior to your undertaking in answering these questions, the kindest, sweetest thing someone had done for you.

My wife bought me crumpets.

2. In the two weeks prior to your undertaking in answering these questions, the sweetest or kindest thing you did for someone else?

I dunno, not something deliberate really. Just being a husband while my wife stresses over the first christmas with her family after her mother's death.

3. What self-care do you recommend to a recently bereaved person who lost her life partner during the pandemic, but not to the coronavirus?

Having never lost a life partner, I have not really got anything to offer here. I guess the generic sort of stuff, like be patient with yourself, grieving is wierd, comes in fits and starts, can seem overwhelming even years after they're gone, remember that it never really goes away, but becomes managable after a period.

Also, self care is so extremely personal, that I've no idea what even some of my family's self care options are. For me, it's building something, or learning a new hobby (That's one I have to carefully manage), or nutting out that perfect pour over technique. Learning, creating, that's what I like to do when I'm in need of a pickup, but again, that's not going to be the same for everyone!

I'd suggest getting some professional help perhaps, particularly if it's crippling and horrible months later. Though, I do recognise that is not within the reach of a lot of people.

I'm mostly always happy to chat, or be ranted at, or gain a wet shoulder if that's something that would help.

4. Within arm's reach, what is an object you are grateful for?

Right now, my computer, though I suppose that's really a set of objects. Enabling me to have done a days work without leaving my house.

Single object, Probably my water bottle. I'm thankful that I can for the most part, take drinking water for granted.

5. Did someone end their friendship with you because you not only knew something they didn't, but delivered citations, evidence, and references to prove your assertion? What % of people in your life count you as a friend as long as you massage their egos and not teach them anything?

I don't think I've had a friend go because I knew something they didn't. For me, most of my friends just drifted away because we were on such different life paths. Others because I was totally an arsehole to them. A few incidents I'm aware of and have apologised for, but, the friendship's already gone at that point.

In light of that, I have sort of generally assumed that I'm the arsehole that no-one wants to go out to dinner with, or come over for a coffee, or go driving to some cool place. Even before lockdown I always had to do the work to go and see my friends, and I kind of got tired of it. I know some of it comes from my mental health issues, making it very difficult for me to push past the "It's not the right time"-itis, but it's draining when you realise the only reason you've seen someone in the last 10 years, is that you've called them and nailed down a time.

So, 0% are there only cos I massage their egos :)

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