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Volume 1, Issue 1 ====The Begining==== February 3, 2004
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:M�tley Staff:
|- Mr. Maul: Editor & Writer -|
|- Atticus: Writer(If he stops looking @ porn long enough to
write something) -| |- Vampyre Prince: ? (I have an idea,
but haven't asked him yet) -|
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The staff of The Zine is not responsible for reader's actions.
This phile is for educational use only.
Viewer discretion is advised.
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Things that will be seen in this issue:
Miscellanious items that somewhat have to do with (dramatic pause)
FONE PHREAKING!
Miscellanious items that have to do with (even more dramatic pause)
ROLE PLAYING!
And then, one big item that doesn't go with anything (romantic pause)
MY RANTS AND RAMBLINGS!
Things that will not be seen in this issue:
The Pope!
A Llama!
And, Some Fuzzy Dice!
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So what's it all about?
(Or, the typical 1st issue intro.)
If you don't know what a zine is, then scoot your chair back,
take a deep breath, and slam your forehead into the keyboard
repeatedly. Like this:
dfi0swd fbyogv76y 0n8atyh34t9f jwbnk90 gniqwuo 0enhaerb bhrn79
Did the answer come to you? No? Try again. This time, harder,
and be sure to concentrate.
089GH39! I0EJQWG5806! H02IH45F0H! 2FH345-89G! 9U23HF89! 2FUI!
Now look what you did. You're bleeding all over your keyboard.
Are you retarded? I think you are. You're a Roman Retard.
Anyway...Coco Puffs.
The subjects in this zine will be very broad, and most likely
random. So basically, we write what we want, and you read it.
There will also be very few "departments."(You know, the little
thingies in magazines that are written by the same people every
month for forever until the writer shrivles up and die.)
Enough shpealing, on with the big, fat, meaty, and extra juicy
part of this piece- o'-crap.
Uuhhmmuuhhmm... any fone phreaks out there? Here:
���������������������������������������������������������������
====Freakin' Phreakin'====
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These are mainly for Indiana (specifically the (765) 778 99xx
area for this issue), because I live in Indiana, which means
nothing but corn and cow tipping. Woohoo! I'm also cheap and
lazy, so basically I'll be telling you very little of my own
discoveries. Alright, they're all for indiana. Count Blah says,
"BLAH!"
Modems/Fax machines:
I would try to figure out what which is which, but see above.
(765) 778 9991 (765) 778 0037 (765) 778 9977
(765) 778 4974 (765) 778 9901 (765) 778 4991
(765) 778 9922
Message machines/ Voicemail:
If I don't have the passcode listed (which will be few), you'll
have to figure it out. If you do, be sure to send it to me, so
I can make updates.
(765) 778 9900 you have to dial 0 first to get pass
prompt. RSR Masonery. Mike&Lisa Rambo
(765) 778 9937 Same as above. This one belongs to
senator Scott Reske. I used to know this
one, but the retard republican bought a
new machine.
(765) 778 9971 This one's weird. I called it once,
messed around, trying to guess the pass,
and then I called back, and it either
gave me the busy signal, or the "This
line has been disconnected" junk.
(765) 778 9999 Contenental Design&Engineering. LARGE
mailbox system. Have fun.
This just proves how much of a life I don't have. I scanned, by hand,
100 fone numbers. Now I have carpal tunnel. Carpel tunnle. cahrp...
Busy:
(765) 778 9905 (765) 778 9906 (765) 778 9907 (765) 778 9909
(765) 778 9911 (765) 778 9912 (765) 778 9916 (765) 778 9918
(765) 778 9919 (765) 778 9920 (765) 778 9923 (765) 778 9939
(765) 778 9945 (765) 778 9945 (765) 778 9948 (765) 778 9961
(765) 778 9968 (765) 778 9972 (765) 778 9973 (765) 778 9976
(765) 778 9978 (765) 778 9979 (765) 778 9987 (765) 778 9989
(765) 778 9992
"Disconnected":
(765) 778 9902 (765) 778 9903 (765) 778 9904 (765) 778 9908
(765) 778 9910 (765) 778 9913 (765) 778 9914 (765) 778 9915
(765) 778 9917 (765) 778 9921 (765) 778 9924 (765) 778 9925
(765) 778 9926 (765) 778 9927 (765) 778 9928 (765) 778 9929
(765) 778 9930 (765) 778 9931 (765) 778 9932 (765) 778 9934
(765) 778 9935 (765) 778 9936 (765) 778 9938 (765) 778 9940
(765) 778 9941 (765) 778 9942 (765) 778 9943 (765) 778 9946
(765) 778 9947 (765) 778 9949 (765) 778 9950 (765) 778 9951
(765) 778 9952 (765) 778 9953 (765) 778 9954 (765) 778 9956
(765) 778 9957 (765) 778 9958 (765) 778 9959 (765) 778 9960
(765) 778 9962 (765) 778 9963 (765) 778 9964 (765) 778 9965
(765) 778 9967 (765) 778 9969 (765) 778 9970 (765) 778 9974
(765) 778 9975 (765) 778 9981 (765) 778 9982 (765) 778 9983
(765) 778 9984 (765) 778 9985 (765) 778 9986 (765) 778 9993
(765) 778 9994 (765) 778 9995 (765) 778 9996 (765) 778 9997
(765) 778 9998
People/Bussiness:
People who answered, basically.
(765) 778 9933 Some girl. (Possible harrassment victim?)
(765) 778 9944 Hello! Head bangers! (hair place)
(765) 778 9955 Some lady. Might be a business. Heard a ring
in the background.
(765) 778 9990 Davie's! (??? Your guess is as good as mine.
I'll have to look this one up.)
Ringers:
These two just keep on ringing and ringing and ringing and...
(765) 778 9966 (765) 778 9988
Can't be completed:
(765) 778 9980
People to give hell to:
Brent Schnepp (765) 778 4287..................(tell him he can't sing)
Brock Huntzinger (765) 778 4287...............(Ask him about he did
with Brandy on float-building night in
the corn field, and then call him nasty)
++++Red Boxing News++++
Well, I was on PLA's web site and finally got around to burning their tones
onto disc. I made the CD player red box, which, in my opinion is very
ingenius. If you don't know, go to phonelosers.org, red boxing for
dummies, and scroll down until you see a link for the tones.
By the way, red boxing DOES still work in Indiana, you just have to do
it through the op, which hopefully isn't too bright.
ƥ��~�����~���ƥ��~���ƥ��~���ƥ����ƥ��~���
====RPG's 'N' Such====
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Here's two of the most vital text files you must have for spurt-of-the-
moment role playing:
Bag o' Wonderous Items, and Ultimate Bag 'o' Beans, both of which can be
found at textfiles.com. I'm not goining to tell you where. If you're
reading this, you should be smart enough to figure it out yourself. They
are intended to be used with ADnD, but you could modify them to work with
just about anything.
Here's a few excerpts:
======================================================================
A tombstone springs up from the ground. The only writing on
it is "Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust". Heavy dark clouds form in the
sky, a brisk wind begins to blow, and a loud deep-sounding bell
resonates throughout the area. The DM should assign a number to all
creatures with above animal intelligence that are in a 50 foot radius
of the tombstone. Then he should roll a die or dice that will randomly
pick one of these creatures.
Within three rounds of the tombstone's emergence, a skeleton with
a hooded black robe appears beside the tombstone. The skeleton says in
a deep voice, "For whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee!" and points
to the tombstone on which the picked creature's name appears. The
skeleton cannot be harmed or touched, it will only stand there in
silence waiting until the soon-to-be-fought battle is over and then
fade away. (Note that everybody hears the skeleton in their own native
language.)
One round later, a venerable Shadow Dragon (AC -10; MV 18, FL
30(D), Jp 3; HD 18; hp 144; #AT 3+special; Dmg 1-6/1-6/3-18; THAC0 19;
MCGA) dives out of the sky. It will focus its attacks on the creature
that has been marked for death. The dragon will fight until the death
of itself or the marked creature. If the dragon kills the marked
creature, the marked creature (and all its possessions will disappear)
and the dragon will vanish after making a dramatic exit. If the dragon
dies, the marked creature's name fades from the tombstone and the
dragon vanishes. All magical effects that the tombstone created will
dissipate. The only thing that remains is the tombstone.
======================================================================
A small wooden sign pops up out of the ground. It reads, "Look Up!"
Whenever anybody looks up, an item will fall on him no matter
where he is standing. This effect will happen to anybody within 500
feet. Also, nothing will happen after an hour goes by. Roll on Table A
to see what item falls and what damage it will cause.
TABLE A: Falling Item (1d6)
1: egg none
2: pillow none
3: cream pie none
4: small table 1d6
5: big rock 2d20 and constitution check for unconscious
6: anvil 10d10 and constitution check for unconscious
======================================================================
I have read both of these files thoroughly (well, I skimmed through a
lot of the "Beans") and here's my ratings (out of five *'s):
Bag: * * * * Beans: * * * * *
Yes, my friends, they're that good. Seriously. Coco Puffs.
Textfiles has a lot of good RPing stuff, so, everyone out there reading
this, I COMMAND YOU TO CHECK IT OUT, OR ELSE I SHALL BE FORCED TO KILL
YOU ALL! HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! *eats baby*
It has been brought to my attention that there are those of you who
believe DnD to be gay. Any of you who think this are actually the
gay ones. There are also some of you who say that LotR is also gay.
Again, those of you saying this are gay as well (unless you really
are gay, then you're hetero). Even I must admit, though, that I thought
Sam, Merry, and Pippin were heterosexually challenged, but when I saw
RotK, I changed my mind seeing Sam get married. Merry and Pippin, on the
other hand, are still in my mind, stone cold gay.
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====Rants & Ramblings====
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Well, they brought the drug dogs to school the other day, and my friend,
Atticus, got busted. They found what appeared to be 85lbs of crystal meth,
all wrapped in very small, individual wrappers. After taking him into
custody, they took the meth down to the lab for testing. They were holding
him at $25,000 bond at juvie. I asked all of the stoners if they'd help
bail him out, but they had all spent their money on more meth, so I ended
up having to ask the geeks. We all chipped in, and it turned out we were
about $24,980.37 short, so, using my mad skizzizzles, I devised a plan to
bust him out.
At 3 a.m., some kid, another kid, and I ran up to the fence. I pulled the
wirecutters out of my backpack, and when I went to cut a hole in the fence,
I made the discovery that the "wirecutters" were actually little-kid safty
scissors. We immediatly went to plan-B: digging a hole. This, I was certain,
would work. I rolled up my right pant leg, and yes, there it was; my lucky
spatula! Ductaped to my leg! I ripped it off, along with 5,000 of my favorite
leg hairs. There's a blank spot here, I'm guessing I blacked out, so I'll
go to what I remembered next.
I woke up and we somehow ended up inside. I saw the two kids (one turned out
to be a hobo. Hey, it was dark) sitting around a campfire they had built in
the middle of the hallway. I asked them what they were doing, and they said
something about saving some nice, crispy bacon for me, so I yelled at them
to put it out, those fools, and started stomping it out. As I was doing so,
A spark flew up, and caught my remaing leg hairs on fire. This time I didn't
blackout, but I did vomit, which, I might add, put the fire out. Luckly, my
fire went out once it hit my bald spot, and that was the end of that little
shennanagen.
By some stroke of luck, no one had noticed this entire event, and the security
camera in this hall was broken. Probably happened when the hobo saw it, and
attempted to take it, muttering something about locker rooms. He soon gave up
when it nearly shocked him to death. That made him mad, so he threw a can of
beans at it.
Well, we eventually managed to get Atticus out. The details are still pretty
vague to me. Water chestnuts and bed springs? Anyway, we got him back to his
house, and I flipped on the news. They said the results from the lab revealed
the crystal meth to actually be salt packets. We all turned to Atticus, and
it turns out he was collecting them from the cafeteria. He was going to use
them to salt his driveway because he's too cheap to buy some.
I guess that's how the toilet clogs.
-Coco Puffs-
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i i
l Stay tuned for the next issue which will include more crap for you l
j to read, and more Coco Puffs! j
; Contact me at mr_maul@astroboymail.com ;
1 Keep on red boxing, my little N�-AGE phreaking minions of doom! 1
� �
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