💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › NEMESISERA › dr… captured on 2021-12-04 at 18:04:22.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=======================================================================
. ..,..
,,. .--,..
,==-. ,=:=,.
,=;/;=, ,;/;=,
.-;%XX%:, .:+$%;-.
,=+XM#@$- =/$HX%:,
.-;%@##MH- =%XH$/=.
.=/X###M@. ;$@H%:,
.,=+####M, /HMX;-.
.-;###M##,. $@#+=,
.,=##M.###. HM#;,. E M E S I S E R A ' S
.,-##M.####.@##=.
.-:#M@..###,@##=,. G U I D E
.,=/M@H . ###M##;-.
.,=/%@H% . M####%:,. T O
.,=;%XH$/ .HM###H+=,
.-;+$HX%; . HM##@$;-. Driving Like a Moron
,:/%XX$+: +H#MH+:,.
-:/+/:=, -/$X%/-.
-==-. ,://:,.
,,,. .,==-.
.. .,,.
=======================================================================
NOTE: DO NOT MODIFY THIS DOCUMENT IN ANY FORM
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS GUIDE SERIOUS, THIS GUIDE (OBVIOUSLY) WILL
GET YOU IN DEEP TROUBLE WITH THE LAW! THIS IS SOLEY FOR
ENTERTAINMENT
=======================================================================
----------------------
-[General Moron Tips]-
----------------------
~ Drive 10-20 mph lower than the limit when traffic is behind you
~ Have children sit on your lap while driving
~ Remember, you always have the right of way.
~ Slow down for every bump (hey it could damage your car!)
~ Drive 2 MPH in residentual zones
~ Pretend you are talking on the cell phone if you have one
~ Express yourself by flipping every driver off
~ Have food and read a book while driving
~ At midnight Honk wildly through neighborhoods
~ Pick your nose while driving
~ Cut off a vehicle and give a "Thanks" Wave
~ When driving fast act like an airplane sticking your hands out the
window
~ Always drive on the rightside of the road
~ At night, use your brights to other cars even if they don't have their
brights on.
~
-----------------
-[INTERSECTIONS]-
-----------------
~ On lefthand turns do it from the right lane
~ On righthand turns do it from the left lane
~ Pull out in front of someone on a right turn and slam on your breaks
~ Backup in the middle of a wrong turn
~ Make very slow turns
----------------------------------
-[WHAT TRAFFIC SIGNS REALLY MEAN]-
----------------------------------
STOP : Speed up and pull in front of cars
SLIPPERY SIGN : Drive fast
SLOW MOVING VEHICLE SIGN : Pull aside the vehicle and drive as fast
as the slow vehicle
4-WAY STOP : Everyone stops, but you aren't "everyone" so you can go.
-------------
-[ACCIDENTS]-
-------------
~ Act like you have a serious injury in a minor car accident
~ It is never your fault, it is the other driver's fault
~ Act like you can't speak english
~ Blame an animal
-----------
-[PASSING]-
-----------
~ Drive into the car when passing
~ Get as close to bicyclists as possible