💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › FLAM › flam36.t… captured on 2021-12-03 at 14:04:38.
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Hello I am AIDS, the puppet made of wood staunch and solid. Sometimes it is a sad thing to be a PUPPET because you are made of WOOD and no one wants to kiss you because tehy think you will get splinters in their lips and you tell them, "No, I am sanded," but they don't listen and they are worried your wooden tongue won't feel good pressed against their flesh tongue. I wish I was not made of wood. Being made of wood is a sad thing and a vile thing and and a not too good thing. I want to shout out to my main man vo- "I slept with x" -dka. He slept with everyone; ain't that just like my heart babe, when you don't kiss my lips? Yeah, so, let me tell you about being a puppet! It sucks! There's nothing to do and nowhere to go because everything always comes back to this unenviable position of being crafted from trees. People always want to pull your strings and make you dance and youj're like "I DON'T WANT TO DANCE!" but they say "SURE YOU DO YOU WANT TO DANCE! EVERYONE LIKES TO DANCE! HAVE A PEPSI!" And you say "I DON'T WANT TO DANCE AND I DON'T WANT A PEPSI!" And they say "EVERYBODY WANTS A PEPSI!" And you know, they're probably right. Everyone probably does want a pepsi. but I'm not everyone. I'm not anyone. I'm a puppet made of wood. so I will write for you aobut being made of wood so maybe hte next time you met a puppet you won't be so mean to him or her! just because he's made of wood doesn't mean his heart is... actually, it does, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't FEEL; his wooden heart feels as much as your own, if not more, wood being a more emotionally connective substance than flesh and sinew as proved by the great experiments conducted in 1882 by Lord Alfred Teneyesperson. The unit of measurement for feeling is a kobek. We might say that the emotion we feel upon viewing a painting by Van Gogh is 20,000 kobeks while a Basquiat generates 1,000; and as such the level of emotional resistence found in wood is 100 kobeks, while that in the emotional tissue of norman people is something like 10,000. Anyway, I just want to say that you guys have really been treating the puppet underclasses pretty badly and I'm sick and tired of it. Iw ant to be given the due respect and attention that I, as a thinking, caring being deserve. And that's that.