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            doomed to obscurity, radioactive aardvark dung, Grill,
        and WESN 88.1 FM proudly present the k-rad event of the year...

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                      "dummercon iii - warez forever!"

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                     what the hell are you talking about?
                     ====================================

        it's almost the time of year that parents warn their children about
 -- the annual gathering known to civilians (in whispers) as "dummercon."

        yes, the true e'zine event of the year is here.  but what *is*
 dummercon, you may wonder?  go ahead, wonder.  ok.

        dummercon is your glorious, once-in-a-lifetime (until next year)
 chance to hang out with 100% pure mackin' _'zine guys_ for a day!  woo-woo.
 that's right -- no mudgeeks, no bots, no doodleboys, no warez pups, and no
 netscape warriors.  just a buncha guys and gals havin' a good ol' time.
 everyone is invited, but only the most eleet will attend.

        for the last two years, various e-zine personalities have flocked
 like flies to shit to this special event... and this year will be our most
 insane year yet.  we're coming to "normal", illinois.  and just for its
 name, too!

        normal is known for its wide cloudless skies, beautiful black-sand
 beaches and its gorgeous mountain peaks that make for the prettiest sunset
 in the world.  the natives are very friendly and most speak english.  many
 of them earn extra money by weaving baskets and spinning pottery and selling
 it all to you.

        read on for more information on happenings, lovecup!

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                            where & when is it?
                            ===================

              saturday, july 12th, 1997     12:00 p.m. - 6:00 pm

                   miller park        bloomington, illinois
                   (bloomington and normal are twin cities)

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	 		   what will be happening?
       or; "why the hell should i haul my ass to central illinois?")
       =============================================================

        although we'll actually be having conversations about e-zines, ideas,
 and whatnot, the meeting is also intended to be a social event.  we're
 assuming this isn't a big deal because no one coming to this deal will be
 some irc warrior who spends most of his suburban life locked up in his room
 because mommy and daddy don't 'get' why he spends every waking hour trying
 to takeover #suicide.  none of those guys here, no sir-ee.

        there are activities planned and raddy-rad things in the works.
 if you have any suggestions on what we can do, you can contact us at the
 places specified later in this file.  amazingly enough, here are some of
 the events that are being planned:

        a picnic!  come prepared to munch away with the telecom legends!

        pin the bullet on the communist!

        'zine writing contest!

        harass-old-people-a-thon!  can you harass old people better than
 handle?  find out!#

        the ultimate dumb stuff raffle!  so much dumb stuff you won't
 believe it possible!

        live music!  live girls!

        the return of bobbing for warez!  lamers still get drowned!

        enjoy the quarex kissing booth!  have your greatest fantasy!

        see, touch, and smell the real glowing peice of radioactive aardvark
 dung that inspired handle & mercuri!

        meet mogel, murmur, jamesy, shadow tao, eerie, mercuri, puck,
 kaia, quarex, swisspope, spiff, beaner, crank, pip, vanir, juke, oregano,
 captain rat, kheldar, rottenz, spirit, erise, poto, glynis, feival, ghort,
 ogre, hrothgar, larissa, rick chen, skooter, neko, trilobyte, cyric, gnarf,
 cstone, fawn, handle, demonika, basehead, and MANY more!  don't miss out!

        miller park also features a lake, a zoo, a large metal breast, a
 love train, playground equipment, a nearby laundromat, grass, trees, birds,
 and much more!

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		 is there any cost?  what can i do to help?
		 ==========================================

        dummercon will be held on a very inexpensive site for one very simple
 reason; we're all poor dumb moronic youthful angst-ridden rejects.  we have
 no money.  this means bring your own picnic-like food.  don't come to
 dummercon without food expecting uncle moggie to take pity on you.  HE'LL
 EAT HIS FRIGGIN' PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWICH RIGHT IN YOUR STINKIN' FACE,
 YOU MOOCHER.  YEAH!@  point; bring food.  lots of it.  especially if you're
 a fat, ugly, stupid, slob -- and you smell bad, too!

        that means _yew_, baby!

        you're also welcome to bring fun-fun stuff.  bring your favorite
 tapes and cds (label your stuff so no one will haxor it!#).  bring free
 printed-out examples of your 'zine to pass around.  bring free stuff to give
 out.  bring us food.  bring virgin women to sacrifice.  wear really stupid
 outfits.  bring your pet frog, "al".  bring turnip seeds to plant.  bring
 0-day gnu phresh warez to trade!@  bring cooley-cool high-tech computer
 stuff!@  bring dumb stuff to give away!#  bring your girlezz for us to
 wership!@  bring us barry manilow bootlegs!@
 
        it wouldn't hurt to tell someone that you're coming, either.

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			       directions
			       ==========

 FROM EAST OF INDIANA, NORTHWEST INDIANA, AND CHICAGOLAND

 If you are coming from the East Coast, you will likely be wanting to get on
 Interstates 80 and 90.  The two meet up in Ohio.  Follow these west into
 Indiana, where you'll want to take Interstate 80 when the two split off.
 Stay on Interstate 80 into Illinois and by Joliet you'll want to take
 Interstate 55 south.

 If you are coming from Northwest Indiana, get on Interstate 80 and take it
 to Interstate 55 south by Joliet.

 If you are coming from Chicago, get on the Stevenson (I-55) southbound.

 Upon reaching Bloomington-Normal, exit at Business U.S. 51 South (Main
 Street) into Normal.  It will be the second Bloomington-Normal exit.  Take
 Main Street into town.  Business 51 splits into two one-ways, Main and
 Center, and you will wind up on Center driving by the Illinois State campus.
 Keep going through Normal and into Bloomington.  Keep driving through
 downtown Bloomington and soon after leaving the downtown area be on the
 lookout for a brown road sign announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn right at the
 stop light at Wood St.  Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on the
 left.  You're there.  Give Quarex a kiss.

 FROM NORTH-CENTRAL ILLINOIS, WISCONSIN, AND MINNESOTA

 From Milwaukee and north take Interstate 43 south to Beloit and from there
 take Interstate 90 east.  From Madison and north take Interstate 90 east.
 From Minnesota take 90 or 94 into Wisconsin and continue on 90 east past
 Madison.

 From anywhere in Wisconsin, exit at the U.S. 20 exit (marked Freeport) and
 once on U.S. 20 take the second exit, which will clearly state Interstate
 39 and U.S. 51 south to Bloomington-Normal.

 From Rockford, take U.S. 20 to Interstate 39 south.

 Stay on Interstate 39 south all the way to exit 2, Business U.S. 51 south
 (Main Street).  Exit here and take Main Street into town.  Business 51
 splits into two one-ways, Main and Center, and you will wind up on Center
 driving by the Illinois State campus.  Keep going through Normal and into
 Bloomington.  Keep driving through downtown Bloomington and soon after
 leaving the downtown area be on the lookout for a brown road sign
 announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn right at the stop light at Wood St.
 Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on the left.  You're there.

 FROM CHAMPAIGN AND INDIANAPOLIS

 Get on Interstate 74 west.  Upon reaching Bloomington-Normal there will be
 an exit for Business U.S. 51 north (Main Street) into Bloomington.  Exit
 here.  Business 51 will split into two one-ways, Main and Center, and you
 will remain on Main.  Before reaching the downtown area, be on the lookout
 for a brown road sign announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn left at Wood St.
 Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on the left.  You're there.

 FROM IOWA AND THE NORTHWEST

 Get on Interstate 80 through Iowa.  In the Quad Cities, take Interstate 74
 east (it should be marked as the way to Peoria and/or Galesburg.)  Stay on
 Interstate 74 east into the Bloomington-Normal area.  When Interstates 74
 and 55 juncture, stay on I-74 and take the U.S. 151/Illinois 9 exit (Market
 Street).  Take Market Street into town.  Just as you reach the downtown area
 you'll want to turn right at a light onto Center.  A few blocks down be on
 the lookout for a brown road sign announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn right at
 the stop light at Wood St.  Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on
 the left.  You're there.

 FROM ST. LOUIS AND THE SOUTHWEST

 At the Missouri-Illinois border ensure that you are on Interstate 55 north
 and Interstate 70 east.  Continue on I-55 north through Springfield.  When
 reaching Bloomington-Normal Interstates 55 and 74 will juncture.  Remain on
 I-55 north and take the U.S. 151/Illinois 9 exit (Market Street).  Take
 Market Street into town.  Just as you reach the downtown area you'll want to
 turn right at a light onto Center.  A few blocks down be on the lookout for
 a brown road sign announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn right at the stop light
 at Wood St.  Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on the left.
 You're there.

 FROM DECATUR AND THE SOUTH

 Take U.S. 51 north from Decatur.  Upon reaching Bloomington-Normal do not
 turn on to Interstate 74 but remain going straight on Business U.S. 51 (Main
 Street).  Business 51 will split into two one-ways, Main and Center, and you
 will remain on Main.  Before reaching the downtown area, be on the lookout
 for a brown road sign announcing Miller Park Zoo.  Turn left at Wood St.
 Continue on Wood until you reach the big park on the left.  You're there.

 If there are any questions about the directions, please contact murmur.

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                   pre-generated dummercon ideas #28471
                   ====================================

        the BIG contest!

        who can write the most bad 'zines most quickly?  see this competitive
 sport unfold right before your eyes, as pip & jamesy race on laptops to
 create the wackiest, fastest producing 'zines!  as an added bonus, you (yes,
 you!) can submit things for these new 'zines *LIVE*!  impromptu writers are
 needed to help turn this competition sour!

        the rules:  jamesy & pip must, within 15 minutes, come up with a
 wacky info file about their 'zine.  next, the participants of dummercon will
 read these info files and decide which 'zine they like better!  then they
 can write for that 'zine!  all submissions are taken because we all know
 neither pip nor jamesy ever understood quality control when they ran 'zines!

        the points will be tallied by a selected council at dummercon as
 follows:

        best .nfo file -- 15 points
        first to reach 10 issues -- 15 points
        first to release an index of the 'zine -- 10 points
        first to release 20 issues -- 25 points
        first to have 10 writers for their 'zine -- 25 points
        first to get rattle to write for their 'zine -- 50 points
        most issues -- 50 points
        most writers -- 50 points

        after the scores are tallied, the best 'zine leader is acknowledged!
 the loser gets to make his girlfriend turn into a lesbian! it's all fun &
 games here at dummercon!

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                             what about lodging?!
                             ====================
        what about it?

        oh.  yeah.

        if you plan on attending dummercon and _furthermore_ plan to stick
 around or arrive early or such to hang with the legends a few extra days,
 that's cool.  no problem.  but if you're looking for a place to stay for a
 night - you HAVE TO TELL US.

        we have limited available space to fall back on, so we need to know
 as soon as possible how many and for how long.  this is essential.  if you
 don't give us at least two weeks advance notice that you want a place to
 stay for a night (or maybe more), then we can't guarantee you anything.  we
 can't guarantee you anything anyway if the attendance from out of state is
 higher than expected, but the more time you give us, the more options we'll
 be able to work with.

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                              correspondense
                              ==============

       if you have *any* questions, require additional information, or
 would like to let us know you'll be coming (it's good for us to expect
 you), you can contact us at:

                              dto@op.net (mogel)
                        phuckelb@sun.iwu.edu (murmur)

        we furthermore _implore_ you to let us know if you're going to be
 looking for lodging for any period of time.
 
        you can also check out the dummercon webpage for more detailed
 information:

		       http://www.dto.net/dummercon

        you might also be lucky enough to catch one of us on irc (ef-net)
 in #zines or #dto.

        we love you!

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-eof