💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › DTO › dto_oops.… captured on 2021-12-03 at 14:04:38.
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"dto gets shot down to earth"
- pieced together & edited by mercuri
- missing logs supplied by gaurdian
- nifty topic provided by The Masked Marauder (tMM)
this should be pretty much self explanatory, everyone in #zines at
the time wanted a log, so here it is.
i quickly ran this through spell check you retentive sonsabitches,
and i tried to make it as readable & followable as humanly possible.
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<m3rkuri> how's dto coming mogel????????????????
<mogel> i suppose it's ok!!
<mogel> we'll be around FOREVER!!!
<m3rkuri> you better be!! otherwise that tattoo is worthless!! you'd have to
change your name to remain respectable!
<mogel> i'm actually registering dto as a real business tomorrow
<mogel> & i'm getting the official po box tomorrow
<mogel> 'cause we're gonna start SELLING STUFF soon!
<m3rkuri> hey mog... why?
<m3rkuri> reality check: dto is an e-zine
<mogel> @uhm
<mogel> t-shirts! comic books! music!
<m3rkuri> oh please
<_8> i had no idea dto was expected to be a huge corporation
<mogel> mercuri, dto is a productions company.
<m3rkuri> and i'm napoleon.
<_8> maybe not _expected_ but hoped to be
<mogel> when i'm @makin' money, mercuri, you'll still be @bitchin'
<m3rkuri> uh. nope.
<mogel> yep!
<m3rkuri> when you're making money, dto will be a dead e-zine
<m3rkuri> i guarantee that.
<mogel> errrr
<m3rkuri> sorry if i sound mean!!!
<mogel> it's ok.
<mogel> when you're wrong it'll be cool
<mogel> 'cause dto is never going to be dead
<m3rkuri> it may hibernate until all its members die
<mogel> huh?
<m3rkuri> you might never declare it's dead, but it may be inactive
<_8> "what happens when you reach 999?"
<_8> @heh.
<mogel> uhm, no mercuri
<mogel> you're missing the idea here.
<mogel> see, it will always be monthly.
<m3rkuri> i guarantee, i _guarantee_ dto will never be a business that reaps
profits.
<mogel> why's that, mercuri?
<mogel> what makes you so sure?!!?!
<m3rkuri> because that's what i think.
<mogel> any logic at all, or what?
<m3rkuri> i know for sure, that 5 people,... or however many are mainly
involved will not live off of it
<mogel> obviously not, mercuri
<mogel> it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that
<m3rkuri> well, that's what your saying mogel, or at least that's what i'm
hearing
<@kkrazy> 'cause @yer to 31337
<@ven> i @wanna work for mogel if he gets rich
<mogel> but it can still be a source of money
<mogel> uh
<mogel> no, i never said it would be anyone's ONLY source of income
<m3rkuri> you said you'd be _rich_
<mogel> sure, & i'm exaggerating
<_8> rich like a fudge ripple.
<m3rkuri> how else could you become rich from dto (money wise) if the money
didn't come from dto?
<mogel> rich isn't really a heavily defined word
<mogel> i mean, what's rich to one person isn't rich to another
<_8> @hahahah
<kkrazy> mogel: don't be silly. your being a pisshead
<m3rkuri> what's rich to you?
<m3rkuri> 500 bucks a year?
<mogel> rich to me is having more than enough money to get by.
<mogel> mercuri, my rent if 500 a month
<m3rkuri> so is my brother's!
<m3rkuri> how much do you expect to make on t-shirts?
<mogel> i have no idea, mercuri
<mogel> but it's obvious you're trying to be anal on me
<kkrazy> i think he's just trying to be realistic.
<mogel> there's no doubt in my mind that i will make some money
from this
<m3rkuri> mogel - okay, lesse.. how many copies of dto-12 are out there,
that people have read?
<mogel> who knows, mercuri. there's 250 people on the mailing
list. but files spread.
<mogel> & there's the www.
<mogel> etc
<m3rkuri> let's say 400 people read dto COMPLETELY...
<m3rkuri> how much are the t-shirts gonna be?
<kkrazy> $15
<m3rkuri> ok.
<m3rkuri> how much do the t-shirts cost to make?
<mogel> i think about 5 or so dollars. maybe 6.
<m3rkuri> ok, so you're making 9 bux profit per shirt.
<m3rkuri> for every 10 people that read the 'zine.. lets say 2 people by the
shirt
<_8> i'd buy a dto tshirt.
<_8> but i spend $50-90 a week on pot, so.
<kkrazy> that's only 3600 bux. that's if everybody buys one.
<mogel> that's really not bad.
<mogel> in case you didn't know!
<m3rkuri> holdon, lemme do the math.
<_8> besides, that could just be groundwork for a larger selection of things
to sell,etc. and then more stuff to sell, more chance someone will buy
something.
<m3rkuri> okay... so if 2 out of 10 people buy this shirt, it's $720 bucks,
now what do you do with the money? keep in mind, everyone who
wants to buy a t-shirt has bought one, and now the sales taper-off
<kkrazy> there should be dto toilet covers
<ven> coffee mugs, pencils, notepads
<kkrazy> coffee mugs are expensive ven, i've looked into it for my coffeeshop
<Pezzy> i should get into old slip
<ven> dto cologne
<_8> haha. "doomed to obscurity" isn't really a marketable name for products
though
<kkrazy> heheh
<mogel> what are you talking about?
<mogel> of course it is
<_8> "scent of mogel"
<mogel> it's alternative, man
<kkrazy> "stench of mogel"
<ven> hahaha
<mogel> anyhow, mercuri .. it's just a small peice of global domination!
<mogel> because as time goes on, we'll get more fans & more stuff!
<m3rkuri> stop that, mogel
<m3rkuri> everyone knows i'm the only one with enough military knowledge to
conquer a seven-11
<kkrazy> hehe
<mogel> oh my
<mogel> maybe you're right.
<mogel> i'll stay away from the mini-markets.
<ven> eau de toilette
<kkrazy> and be bigger than cDc. in your dreams
<_8> "disgust yourself with JAMESY i perfume"
<ven> the "mogel in the morning" radio show
<kkrazy> hahahaha
<_8> doorstops.
<_8> dtocola
<kkrazy> dto tampons
<kkrazy> and pads!
<m3rkuri> dto place settings.
<_8> you could call it DC for short and in washington it'd go like wildfire
<kkrazy> dto condoms, they glow in the dark
<mogel> seriously, though... eerie has a radical c0mic he's selling.. there's
music demos & silly cat & more...
<mogel> at the very least, it'll get us some money
<mogel> & some is better than none!
<m3rkuri> mogel - is a record company coming, too?
<mogel> mercuri, if that is what phil wants, but that seems kinda unlikely.
<mogel> i don't know anything about it, though
<m3rkuri> it would seem like a waste of that $720 bucks, mogel. i'd go buy
some new shoes or something.
<mogel> what would be a waste of it?
<m3rkuri> a recording company
<_8> new shoes don't pick up the bass as well as recording equipment,
mercuri. :) :) :) :) heheheHEHEhehe
<mogel> well, i have no part in that merc
<mogel> my money is going to go towards something more productive. who
knows what!
<ven> dto fake tattoos
<m3rkuri> cdc has fake tattoos
<kkrazy> dto beer
<ven> dto recordings
<kkrazy> vials of pure dto adrenaline@!#
<_8> dare i say.. DIET dtocola?
<_8> heh
<kkrazy> dtoII
<kkrazy> but it'll flop
<_8> mogel; export weapons.
<ven> dto - the movie
<kkrazy> hehehe
<tMM> clear dto soda
<mogel> it's DTO!
<ven> the law offices of dt&o
<kkrazy> dt&o hah
<kkrazy> dto carpeting.
<_8> "Best of dto"
<kkrazy> mogel fashion line
<_8> "the dto family tree" as a poster
<Mephisto> mogel and kathy-lee
<ven> yeah! plus sizes by mogel
<tMM> wait, say you make 720 bucks, you do have to divide it up amongst the
inner circle right?
<mogel> no, tMm
<mogel> it's my money. i am making the shirts, etc
<tMM> ahh.
<mogel> i wish you guys were funny, 'cause i'd be laughing a lot
<m3rkuri> only cuz we're blaspheming dto.
<mogel> not really, mercuri
<_8> "the gospel according to dto"
<kkrazy> that's already in the works, 8.
<_8> wow, that'd be a neat t-file title.
<ven> the dto bible at barnes and nobles
<kkrazy> mogel, don't be anal
<mogel> i mean, it's really not funny
<mogel> "rad underwear! ha ha!"
<mogel> i mean, it gets pretty dumb.
<m3rkuri> mogel, rad isn't claiming underwear, we're only claiming the end
of communism, quite slowly, i might add.
<m3rkuri> just the other day a marine promised me & handle a war
with china within 10 years
<_8> i'm not blaspheming.
<_8> i'm just brainstorming.
<_8> "dto unplugged"
<kkrazy> dto cheese of the month club.
<_8> now, mike; are you trademarking dto AND doomed to obscurity?
<_8> meaning, both forms of saying it?
<mogel> they are already trademarked, 8
<mogel> yes
<_8> huh?
<_8> legally?
<mogel> yeah
<_8> whoa.
<kkrazy> that rocks
<m3rkuri> how much does that cost, mogel?
<mogel> it cost something like 25 bucks.
<mogel> although most things that get put out 'zine-wise on the net get
instant copyrights, i still did it
<_8> "dto scout cookies"
<_8> for that matter, "dto scouts"
<mogel> i forget the exact price.
<kkrazy> lord baden mogel
<ven> dto cruise lines
<mogel> "dto markers!!! hahahahahaha!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
<kkrazy> heh
<m3rkuri> woah, mogel's pissed
<mogel> i'm not pissed at all.
<mogel> i'm amazed that dto could fixate you guys at this wee hour in the
morning for oh-so long.
<mogel> but that's GOOD!
<tMM> it isn't dto, its your idealism. :)
<tMM> dto island
<_8> "welcome to the dto carwash. i'm mogel, may i scrub your wipers?"
<m3rkuri> dto land! with mogel mouse!!!
<kkrazy> dto land, made completely of nerf
<_8> mogel mouse! hahaha
<kkrazy> all the suicidal members of dto could jump off the third floor and
they would just bounce back off of the nerf
<kkrazy> it would rule.
<mogel> there's druggies outside my window
<_8> there's a druggie in my room!
<_8> ahhhh!
<_8> i told them not to put mirrors in here.
<_8> "listen to the drummer of (stupidbandname). he's playing a dto
special hoooked up to a Doomed X Amp"
<_8> wait. i meant guitarist.
<tMM> your naivete (sp?)
<mogel> heh
<mogel> when you learn to spell it, you can talk to me about it
<tMM> that i'll do, mogel.
<tMM> mogel; when you actually get this off the ground, you can
talk to me about the riches which you will bathe in.
<mogel> sure thing, dude!
<m3rkuri> mogel pez dispensers!! with real angst flavoured pez!!!
<_8> "dto eggplant stew"
<mogel> it's ashame i'm not straight-edge.
<m3rkuri> "dto flavored ramen"
<_8> flavored? uh.
<m3rkuri> 8 - yes. shh. *wink*
<m3rkuri> "dto hair-dye"
<Mephisto> duck a'la dto
<_8> "how to create a zine, by dto productions"
<ven> the dto luxury sedan.. starting at 24,900
<m3rkuri> haha
<m3rkuri> the writers of dto will definitely want a peice of all this money,
you wont expect them to write for free, will you
mogel???????????????????
<mogel> mercuri, if there was an actual print 'zine production, we could get
away with that.
<mogel> maybe at some future point.
<_8> ooh.
<m3rkuri> i dunno. not if it's underground! it'd have to be like People
magazine! (which is pretty popular)
<mogel> true
<tMM> i wouldn't write for free if i see you making a lot of money.
<kkrazy> merc, they would write for free, just because they love to write.
they would do it not for the money, but for the love$@ like the
computer industry :)
<m3rkuri> kkrazy - and once again, i'm napoleon
<kkrazy> he was short. be nero.
<m3rkuri> i mean, people would write for big*geek cuz it's non-for-profit
<mogel> but i know a lot of people that would seriously rather read dto than a
lot of "real" magazines out there
<mogel> so i don't see why not. other than i don't have money. & it costs
lots
<_8> hahaha
<_8> "the dto wallclock"
<_8> "the dto sound system"
<mogel> "dto gum"
<m3rkuri> "the dto wave radio"
<kkrazy> the dto car.
<mogel> "beat this joke to death, please"
<kkrazy> <beat>
<_8> "dto lights" (cigarettes)
<Mephisto> dto male and female condoms
<Mephisto> glows dto in the dark!
<kkrazy> i already said that, meph :)
<Mephisto> oh :)
<m3rkuri> "dto ibm clones"
<tMM> dto punching bags
<ven> the dto paper weight - available in "The Sharper Image Catalog"
<_8> "dto 32 ounce cups"!@!!!@@!#@
<m3rkuri> "dto nordic track"
<mogel> "i am feeling uncreative tonight - i'll say this: dto toothpaste"
<m3rkuri> "dto lightbulbs"
<_8> dto bookshop.
<_8> with little machines to read dto issues like in the wall to sample the
issues.
<kkrazy> dto lard.
<kkrazy> the dto state park
<ven> dto all season radials
<Mephisto> how many dto writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
<mogel> dto buckets of vomit!!! heheheheheh1!!
<m3rkuri> "dto fake vomit"
<mogel> beat you to it, merc!!!!!!!!!!
<m3rkuri> mogel - you inspired it
<kkrazy> the dto wailing wall
<m3rkuri> "dto sneezing powder"
<_8> "the dto hand buzzer"
<m3rkuri> "dto diapers"
<_8> "dto delivery"
<_8> "dto pizza"
<ven> dto magic tricks
<m3rkuri> "i did it my way" by mogel [dto] - #1 best seller!
<_8> "literal humor" by crank [dto] would be the best seller after that.
<mogel> heh
<mogel> actually, if i wrote a book it would be called something like "LOOK
AT MY PENIS" in caps like that
<m3rkuri> mogel - loompanics wouldn't even sell it!
<_8> and be banned from southern hicksfuck, georgia school libraries
<mogel> that's awesome!
<mogel> i'd be *self-published!*
<mogel> & that's much more fun!
<mogel> i'll become a "cult item"
<m3rkuri> no mog, stores would still have to buy it.
<mogel> FUCK THE STORES
<m3rkuri> oh!# i know how!# the "dto printing press"
<_8> "dto rowboats", just for fun.
<ven> the McDto sandwich at mcdonalds
<m3rkuri> "dto vibrators"
<m3rkuri> "dto happy meal"
<_8> hahah
<Mephisto> "cooking with dto"
<_8> "yo dto raps!"
<Mephisto> "dto, the mini-series"
<m3rkuri> "the first dto church of god"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
<mogel> god?
<Mephisto> "the church of dto" merk
<mogel> it would be the church of potatoEs or something
<m3rkuri> "how i bought iowa" by mogel [dto]
<Mephisto> "the dto ab roller"
<ven> buns of DTO
<ven> abs by dto
<tMM> body by mogel
<_8> "dto and you"
<ven> the dto game...on pc-cd rom
<m3rkuri> "dto, the dictator"!!
<_8> "the dto wildlife reserve fund"
<_8> "dto pretzels"
<mogel> right. so it's late & i'm bored
<ven> how about uh... #dto the irc channel yeah
<_8> "1-800-dto-love"
<mogel> i think it's sleepy time
<mogel> so, thanks for all those ideas, guys!!!!!!!!!!!!
<mogel> i'm writing them down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<mogel> i appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
<m3rkuri> i don't think so mogel!!!!!!!!!
<m3rkuri> i've seen you up at 5am!!!!!!!!!!
<mogel> mercuri, not in the last three weeks
<m3rkuri> chicken!!!
<m3rkuri> *cluck*
<mogel> this is the latest i've been up in a while
<Mephisto> "history rewritten" by mogel
<ven> dto posturepedic mattresses
<_8> "dto plastics and steel"
<m3rkuri> "dto tinker toys"
<m3rkuri> (3 & up)
<_8> "dto trash-to-steam plant" to get rid of all the trash of all those
products mogel will sell!
<tMM> dto sewage treatment
<ven> dto power wheels
<ven> pow pow power wheels
<mogel> n-e-wayz bye.
<m3rkuri> "dto power glove"
<mogel> say BYE to me
<m3rkuri> "dto gaming system"
<_8> dto big wheels
<ven> BYE MOGEL
<_8> bye mike!!!!!
<ven> HAVE A GOOD SLEEP
<mogel> thanks, JERKS
<m3rkuri> "dto: the movie" by oliver stone; based on a script by michael
chrichton
<ven> i had the movie idea
<_8> "chef dto-ar-dee"
<Mephisto> boy-ar-dto
<mogel> hm
*** Signoff: mogel (Leaving)
<_8> be like ellios pizza "the only zine that's SQUARE"
<_8> that was fun.
<_8> but no one mentioned dto keychains!
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