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|||||||| ||||||| ||||||| || || |||||||| || || || | || || || | ||| ||| || || || || || || || || | | || || || || || || || |||| || | || || ||||| || || || ||| || || || || || || | || || | || || || || || || |||||||| ||||||| |||||| || || |||||||| || || |||||||| |||||||| ||||||| |||||| |||||||| ||||||| || || || || || || || || || | || || || || || || || || || || || |||||| ||| || |||||| || |||| || || || || || || || || ||| || || || || || || || || | || |||||||| |||||||| ||||||| || || |||||||| |||||| I S S U E # 8: J A N U A R Y 1 9 9 6 ============================================================================= DJ Johnson.................Editor (On Valium) Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor Keeper Of The Debris Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor Brainstormin' Buddy coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist - The Cosmik Writers - Jim Andrews..................Urbania (On Vacation) coLeSLAw.....................Record Reviews Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views (On Vacation Too) David Fenigsohn..............Music & Film Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S EDITOR'S NOTES - Welcoming a new writer MATCHBOOK SHANNON: Cuddle-Punk From The Heartland. The Omaha band discusses their unique brand of pop-punk, the delicate balance of school and music and...what the hell "cuddle-punk" is! MAN OR ASTRO-MAN'S TOUR DIARY (pt2) - Let that crazed alien drummer, Birdstuff, take you along for the ride as the band heads west with a new spaceman in tow. MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS: An Audiophile's Dream (pt2) - Steve Marshall takes a look at another batch of releases from the label that makes audiophiles drool. RECORD REVIEWS - Music of all kinds, including a trio of tech CD's, mainstream releases, punk, surf and the new release by this months interviewed band Matchbook Shannon. MOVIE REVIEW - "Leaving Las Vegas" may just take a few statues home this year. David Fenigsohn gives you an overview of a difficult yet excellent film. BOOK REVIEW - "The Riverman." Inside the mind of Ted Bundy as he attempted to help police apprehend The Green River Killer. BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: The Karma Meter Is Running Out. Steven Leith on the use of military force to prevent genocide. DJ RANTS! - Tying Tongues & Zipping Lips On The Hill. They're at it again in Washington DC...trying to dictate morality and stuff a sock in the Internet's electronic mouth. THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another random scattering of poems, quotes, and basically anything that doesn't fit elsewhere. HOW TO CONTACT US WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO TOUCH US - Our e-mail addresses. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITOR'S NOTES Happy new year! Welcome to what has been the most difficult issue to "put to bed" yet. I write these notes at 10:30pm on January 5th. 89 minutes before my self-imposed deadline! A deadline I've managed to psych myself into seeing as the most important thing in the entire known universe. Will I make it? Will this issue be cut and pasted together in time to hit the subscription distro-list before the clock strikes 12? And most important...what will happen if it isn't? Nothing, but people with my personality type (obsessive-repulsive) are driven to this kind of behavior. We keep kicking no matter what is thrown in the path, though, and that's probably good. This month, for instance, we have had so much thrown in the path that it became difficult to see anything remotely RESEMBLING a path. I'd tell you what those thrown items were, but I'm trying to keep the ascii version under a meg. The bottom line is...I think it'll make it. Juuuuust under the wire. From now on, though, I've got a new attitude. Cosmik Debris will come out on the 5th of each month...or thereabouts. Okay, what else... We have a new writer to welcome. David Fenigsohn checks in this month with an outstanding review of the film "Leaving Las Vegas." Check it out! I've been wanting movie reviews for a long time, but the last new film I saw was "The Love Bug," so you know I'm not the one to write 'em. David also writes music reviews and features. Look for more from him soon. One last thing to mention... Jim Andrews, our HTML guy (and writer and brainstorming buddy), took a month off from the HTML duties to design a few dozen pages for other folks. He made wonderful templates for me to use so I could do the HTML myself for a month. Despite the templates, I'm damned near worn out from that job, and I have a brand new appreciation for what he does. Thanks, Jimbo. Are ya back yet??? Well, that's about it. Hope you enjoy the first issue of 1996. - Deej ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- MATCHBOOK SHANNON: CUDDLE-PUNK FROM THE HEARTLAND Interview by DJ Johnson Omaha, Nebraska. Not exactly LA or The Big Apple, as a music mecca. But there are some interesting doings there. Records by several Omaha bands are starting to be heard elsewhere in the world. Possibly the most interesting of those bands is Matchbook Shannon, three guys who describe their music as "cuddle-punk." In reality, their music covers a range too broad to label. Sometimes pop, sometimes punk, sometimes psychedelic, but always creative and emotional. As this is being written, many college radio stations are beginning to play their music. Currently living in Iowa City where two of them attend the University of Iowa, Jon Hansen (guitar), Corey Beckman (bass) and Doug Kabourek (drums) took an hour out of their busy schedules to talk about their Landphil Records CD debut, "Sob Stories." * * * * * CD: What's the music scene like in Omaha? Doug: It's getting pretty big, I think. Jon: Yeah, there's some other really cool bands from there. It's really the Lincoln-Omaha scene, because they're only an hour apart. Have you heard Mercy Rule? CD: Oh yeah. Jon: They're from Lincoln. Of course, Matthew Sweet's from Lincoln. And then there's a bunch of cool...more underground bands, like Frontier Trust. They're a very cool band to look for. They just put out a new CD and record. And then Mousetrap's another one from Omaha that could be going places. Doug: There's two other bands that just got signed to other labels...one of them's called Commander Venus and the other ones called Cursive. CD: Would you consider any of these bands your contemporaries, as far as style goes? Doug: I don't know. I think we take parts of a lot of them, like Mousetrap. But I don't know if we're close to...well they're all a lot more punk than we are. Well, Commander's pretty poppy... Jon: I would say if there's anyone we've really drawn from, it would be Mousetrap, because we've known them for a really long time, and they're an influential band around the area. CD: How long have you been playing together? Jon: How long have we been playing together, Corey? Corey: About 5 or 6 years. Jon: Even before that. Probably about 8 or 9 years. And then Doug...we started playing with Doug...coming up on 2 years? Doug: Summer of '94, I guess. CD: A couple of you are in school now [U of Iowa], is that right? Jon: Yeah, Corey and I both are. CD: How hard is it to balance school and the band? Doug: It sucks, man, I'll tell you! All I do is work at Best Western, and I have all this free time and no one else, especially Jon, can ever do anything to practice. It's tough. We could practice about 2 days a week last semester. CD: Do you end up doing your practicing live in front of an audience? Doug: Yeah, a lot of the time. Jon: Sometimes it seems like that, yeah. It's mostly hard with touring. We've managed to get an album out while we're both in school, but it's hard to tour on breaks, because you can't really play college towns because everyone's on break, and that seems like that's kind of where our market is right now, so we can only do 4 day weekend tours and stuff. CD: How much school do you have left? Jon: I'm going to be a senior this year. Corey: Yeah, I'm going to be a junior. CD: This is a really strong album. What happens if it does real well and you have to choose between school and touring? Where are the priorities set? Corey: I'd like to be able to balance the two. I know a lot of bands that are bigger than us do. Like Mercy Rule. They all work 4 days a week and tour on weekends. Doug: I think you guys are pretty much putting school first until you graduate, isn't that kinda what you were thinking, Jon? Jon: Yeah. Like the guys in Frontier Trust, that's what they're doing. Doug: Yeah, and Man Or Astro-Man? Aren't they all in school? Jon: Oh yeah. The first time I saw them play, I talked to them, and that was actually kind of inspiring, because that was when we were just starting to get together, and they're doing these national tours and they're in school. And they worked it out, you know, and I thought, well, we can make this work until we're out of school. Corey: If we could tour and make enough money to support ourselves doing that, I'd take a year off and finish later, but I don't think that we could really do that right now. Jon: Yeah, if Madonna called us and said "let's go on a national tour," I think I'd just take a year off. (laughs) When that happens, we'll worry about it. CD: I think there may be a trend now toward more meaningful songs...Stories in songs as opposed to the more hormonal stuff. Do you think the public is getting bored with the "getting drunk and getting laid" genre? Jon: I'd like to think so. Doug: I hope so. Jon: I always think that people kind of like made this split between the visceral and the intellectual, like you can't be smart and party. I don't think those two have to be seperated, necessarily. It seems to me rock and roll has always picked up on the sex and the drinking. Rock and roll can be about intelligence, too. CD: You describe your music as "Cuddle-Punk." How do you define that? Doug: I saw an article on a band called Crayon, and they called them in this article "Cuddle-Pop," and they were all dressed in bear suits, and I had just written this song "Kare Bear." I go "Well, that's like a cuddle-pop song, you know?" But we're not that poppy on stage...we're a little more punk. But the songs are cuddly, some of them. Some of MINE are. ALL mine are, you know, cuz I did "Not The Same" and "Kare Bear" and...uh..what other song did I write? "Sob Story?" So they're all kinda cuddly...though that one's kinda mean... Jon: Well, they're ALL kinda mean... Doug: But they SOUND cuddly. Jon came up with the Punk part, so it's cuddle-punk. CD: Do you consider some of your music EMO? Like "Rebekah Song." I swear, that song rips me to pieces. And also "Sob Story..." Doug: "Kare Bear" is very emotional for me, and I know "Rebekah" is real emotional for Jon. Jon: Our first album was really emotional, too, I'd say. That label "EMO," I've heard it applied to a very few bands. Doug: I thought he said CHEMO!! (laughs) Jon: Well Doug had that prostate problem a while ago. (laughs) But I've heard that label applied to only a certain number of bands, and it also seems to entail a kind of sound as well as lyrics and the way it's been applied. No one's ever applied it to us...I've never thought to use it, but maybe, I guess, it would work. It does fit, I guess. CD: Are most of your songs written about real life experiences? Doug: All mine are from real life experiences. Corey: Yeah, I guess so... Jon: That, and stuff that I read, I think, is my other influence. CD: Well, with that in mind, I'm curious about a few songs. "Deep End," for example. Who wrote that one? Jon: Well, Corey wrote all that music, and I came up with the lyrics for it, cuz sometimes it'll be like somebody will write something and be stumped on lyrics so somebody else will contribute that, you know. I guess when I write lyrics, a lot of times it'll start with a personal experience -- like that started about this one person I know in Omaha, but by the end of the song I'm thinking kind of more generally. When I sing that song now, I think of it as being kind of a song for scenesters the world over. In Omaha, in the old market, which is like the downtown area, there's this certain Godfather's where everyone goes and sits on the steps, and I go by there and some of the people I used to hang out with when I was 13 still sit there, and I just think "Man, do something with your life!" And I guess I think of the people in front of Godfathers when I sing that...(laughs) Doug: (laughing) That's good, Jon. CD: This one's dedicated to the people sitting in front of Godfathers... Jon: Didn't we say that one time at The Cog? Doug: You had that whole idea for the video...driving down the street by Godfathers. CD: I'm curious about "Lifebeater," too. That's a great lyric... "I could be your personal savior - I could be your personal curse - I could be your daily devotion - Yeah, I'm sure that you could do much worse." Who is that about? Jon: Well, that's actually about...hmm...it's kind of inspired by, um... Doug: (whispering) ...gotta be careful, now... Jon: I know! (laughs) It's a song that..we don't want it to make enemies, but it was kind of inspired by the lead singer of Mousetrap... Doug: ...who is also a big influence on us. Jon: Yeah, and that's kind of like...that song is like a "I'm drawn to you and kind of disgusted by you at the same time" kind of idea. And he's a friend of mine, and he's been an influence on us...and he's also kind of misogynistic and kind of violent. So it's about disagreeing with parts of somebody and being influenced by other parts of him. Pat Buchanan is his name, as a matter of fact...kind of ironic. (laughs) CD: One of the things that's really different about your music is the use of sounds...unusual sounds...chaotic sounds. Like "Sex Wax" is just loaded with them. And the string section behind "Rebekah Song" really cements the song in your memory. How did your practice of doing that develop? Doug: Tell 'im what the "Sex Wax" organ part was SUPPOSED to be like! Corey: How did we come up with that? I don't remember... Jon: Remember? We wanted to get that...Corey wrote "Sex Wax," and we wanted to get that Dr. Dre like analog organ sound, you know? (laughs from all) We couldn't quite get that analog organ sound, so we settle for the Deep Purple organ at the last minute. I don't know, I think a lot of those things come from...we've got a 4-track and we do a lot of tape experimentation. We like to turn things backwards and stuff. Like that string section [Rebekah Song] is actually a sample that's been turned backwards. And actually the whole sound of "Sex Wax" also came from when we did it on the 4-track, we screamed so loud that we completely blew out the 4-track. It was just fuzz on the choruses, and then we got in the studio and we just tried to duplicate that as much as we could. So a lot of that comes from tape experimentation. CD: Did you pretty much have everything done on 4-track and then just go in the studio and use that as a guide? Corey: Yeah, most of it. Jon: Some of the really complicated ones, we couldn't, just because there were so many things going on in the song. Corey: Like "Different." Jon: Yeah, like "Different.." We had no idea how it was going to sound. I had all these ideas in my head, but didn't really know how it was going to work out. And we had a version of "I (Tonic)," but it didn't have all of the samples and the choir in it. Doug: Yeah, actually, the "Tonic" version was just you doing it yourself, playing drums and everything. We never actually did it as a band. Jon: But MOST of them we all worked out on 4-track as much as we could, but usually our harmony parts are complex enough that we can't do it all on 4-track. CD: But by the time you get to the studio, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want to do. You probably save a lot of money in studio time that way, right? Jon: Yeah, and we needed to because we maximize studio time experimenting, too, like trying to get these things to go backwards. (laughs) Trying to make up these sounds, so we wanted to use as much time as we could for stuff like that, so we definitely wanted to get the songs built before we went in. CD: Sometimes your vocals are off-kilter, sometimes it's an instrument... something always seems to be askew...which brings us back to the sounds again. That seems to be your trademark. Has it always been that way, even on your first album? Doug: Not nearly as much, I would say. Jon: The first album was all 4-track, so we didn't have as much stuff to practice. Doug: I don't think we tried to experiment nearly as much... Corey: Yeah, our first album was pretty straight forward and...kind of twangy, little more mellow. Doug: I wouldn't say we did any of that trademark weirdness. I can't think of a song that had anything like that in it. CD: You mentioned to me before that you don't have a sampler. How does the live show differ from the record because of that. Jon: Well, we've been thinking of having more tape-loops that Doug could operate... Doug: I know I could do that one in "Rebekah," because I don't play it. Jon: As far as string sections and samples go, they usually just get dropped live and we try to make up for it with energy. I think the majority of the music does rest in what we sing and what we play, so a lot of... like "Lifebeater" has that sound because it's in two different keys at once...the guitar solo and the vocals are in two different keys, and we can still do that live. CD: How much overdubbing do you do? Jon: Really very little. I mean, as far as guitar goes, in the studio we doubled guitars just to make it sound fat, but I mean just for the sound quality. Doug: Yeah, the only song we really overdubbed a lot was "Different," at the end, I think. Jon: Yeah, "Different" is like 16 guitars, but generally, like solos and stuff, I just generally don't overdub, because we want to be able to do stuff live. We made some harmonies bigger in the studio, but generally we try to do harmonies that Corey and I can do live. CD: So the three of you basically produced the album yourselves... Jon: Yeah, we were pretty active, I think, in the mixing and everything. CD: The credit on the CD sleeve is to Matt Griffith, but he told me that you did the producing and were just nice enough to list him there. Jon: Well, he gave us all the money, so... Doug: ...gave us the money. He made it happen, in a very real way. Jon: We're very appreciative of Matt. Doug: I think it was mostly AJ (Mogis) in the studio. He was just great. CD: New bands tend to over-produce, I'm sure you're aware of that... Doug: Oh yeah. CD: ...What's great about your CD is it's so sparse. You knew when to lay off and when not to, and then again, "Different" has SLEIGH bells at the end. Were you conciously trying not to over-produce? Doug: I think we were like terrified of reverb, actually. There's this production company in Omaha called Eclipse that seems to put reverb on everything, and as far as I'm concerned, I was just terrified of putting too much reverb on everything. Jon: And Corey and I had had some...like, our other studio experiences were pretty bad. We cut some pretty over-produced records, I think. They were kind of under-over-produced. Those recordings, I think, we almost want to bury. (laughs) CD: I'm curious about "Double Joe," a Simon Joyner tune. I gather from the liner notes that you're all rather fond of him. Jon: Oh, God, yeah! I think he's, like, necessary! He's a fantastic songwriter. Anything by him is fantastic. He's been a big influence on us, I think, lyrically. Within a day, we could probably work up a cover album of him, I imagine. We just know all of his songs. CD: I'd personally say your interpretation of Double Joe is more powerful than the original...just the open looseness of it. Has he heard that? Jon: Yeah, he likes it! He made a comment about how that's almost how he envisioned it, which is what I hear with Simon Joyner. He's a real folk-punk writer. CD: Are you interested in doing some other covers in the future? Jon: Well, we like doing covers...not that we'd wanna be a cover band. We like doing like one cover a show and that's the limit. I think the first cover we worked out was a Go-Go's cover - Our Lips Are Sealed loud as hell...Madonna...and Prince...Cindy Lauper...We pull out really poppy covers because they sound really punk when we do them. If we did punk covers, it wouldn't be as much of a change. CD: You guys seem to have a knack for the two and a half...three minute pop song, while keeping it punky. Corey: Yeah, that's how we like it. I mean, I don't care for really long songs. A lot of the Omaha bands do really short songs. Like Frontier Trust, all their songs are a minute and a half per ditty. Every set they play is usually about a half hour long. Jon: Yeah, you can do it really high energy when you come off that way. What I find, in general, when you write something...the best way to make it better is to trim off the excess rather than pile on more stuff you don't need. CD: You're probably sick to death of this question...but what's the story behind the name Matchbook Shannon? Jon: You wanna go for it, one of you guys? Corey: Go ahead, Doug. Doug: Me? Okay...Well...we were all sitting in a Perkins a couple summers ago when we first formed. We were looking for a name and we couldn't come up with anything good, and... Jon: We were talking about it at the time, too... Doug: Yeah, and the waitress comes over and she hands us a matchbook that she said this girl that was on the phone, she had seen Jon when she came in...she asked the waitress to deliver this matchbook, and it had her name in it. Her name was Shannon, and I guess she wanted Jon to call her. We tried to call her the next day, and stuff, and we kept trying to call her but we could never get ahold of her. And we were just like "Let's call our band Matchbook Shannon, I guess." Because we were looking for a name right then, and we just thought it sounded cool. CD: Did you ever find her? Doug: No, we haven't ever found her. That's why she's so mysterious. Jon: She's actually on the guest list of any show. Doug: I think Corey actually coined that name. CD: Is this album out on Vinyl, or do you have any singles? Jon: No. Corey and I were just talking about that the other day. If we could find someone to put up some vinyl for us, we'd like to have some vinyl pressing out there. CD: Is Landphil not set up for that? Jon: Right now, no. Right now, he's basically poured money into the CD because in a lot of ways, in todays market place, that is the most accessible to the most people. Vinyl is still, you know, the music afficionados. Right now, we have no vinyl. CD: If you were going to put out a single, which songs would you pick? Jon: Actually, we were going to do a 12 song album and then put out "Lifebeater" and "Double Joe." Doug: I guess it was Mike, though...Mike Mogis, AJ's brother, just talked us into it. (laughs) Jon: (laughing) Yeah! The producers just liked "Lifebeater" so much they were like "No, you just gotta put this on the album." CD: Jon, when I talked to you the other day, you mentioned Gertrude Stein, who is an author I know nothing about. You mentioned that she influenced "I (Tonic)." What's the connection? Jon: She was a writer in Paris around 1913, and she was one of those writers who was ahead of her time, and people still don't understand her, kind of like James Joyce, and she's just one of my favorite writers. I think a lot of the things that I read and a lot of literary ideas go into lyric and songwriting ideas, actually. For most people who would pick it up, it just looks almost like gibberish, cuz she wanted to destroy plot. She wanted to destroy subject. And those are kind of the ideas that are going through that song and that also influenced me to try to have it not settle into a single key. The whole idea of questioning the scientific approach to things...that there can be one answer to anything, that maybe everything is really a complex issue of several possible answers. In a sense, that guitar solo kind of sounds like gibberish when you listen to it. If you listen to it, you can hear what's going on. There are two different ideas that are going on, and each one of them makes sense alone. You put them together and it just doesn't. And to me, when I listen to that, that's what I like is that I listen to it and I'm confused. I like finding musical ideas that I don't understand right away. I guess that's what I like about the literature, too. I read it and I think "What was this person possibly thinking?" And then you got to try to figure that out. CD: Well, here comes your standard cliche end-of-the-interview question: What can we expect next from Matchbook Shannon? Corey: Expect us to come play in your town. Jon: We're comin' to your town...We're gonna party ya down...we're an American band. Corey: That's your cliche answer. (laughs) But we just want to tour and support this album the best we can. Doug: I don't think the next thing is gonna be MTV, I can guarantee that. Jon: It's progressing, and it's progressing well. The reviews we've been getting are great, and we've been getting airplay and everything. And we're kind of glad that it's progressing consistantly and relatively slowly. We'd be kind of nervous if we were some big smash hit right away, because those tend to disappear real quick, too. So we're looking to continue to build momentum slowly. Like a rolling stone gathers momentum. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MAN OR ASTRO-MAN? - USA TOUR DIARY By Birdstuff Last month our readers were treated to a diary of Man Or Astro-Man's European tour, written by the that crazy alien percussion whiz we call Birdstuff. This month, we have one again clocked him over the head and stolen another diary, this one detailing their western USA tour, which was immediately after the European tour. So head to the lobby, pick up you 3-D specs and enjoy another great read. (DJ) * * * * Head West Young Extraterrestrial. With only a few days for our fake human exteriors to recover from the European Tour, we decided to pan for that proverbial tour-collected gold at some 20 venues. Equipped with a new roadie construct, the Branock Device and the new Astro-Utility Outfielder, Dexter X, we were on our way through the space-time continuum once again. The following is a reaccountment of the chords we played and the reasons why we chose them. Tuesday, July 25 Venue: Butchertown Pub City: Louisville, KY The excellent bonus of transferring Main Brain Cell Center Activity to Atlanta is a prevention of the acute "Oh shit, we're going to be yet another hour late because of the time change into the Eastern Time Zone" syndrome. Every show at the beginning of a US tour is an inevitable study in tardiness. We missed our in-store at Ear X-tacy (great place to have one, too!). Late, cramped and with redefined tour positions, we were set to spew the Rocket Sauce. Dexter X really came through like a tried and tested X-Wing Fighter would. Could this be the Space Garnishing that'll send us over the edge? Wednesday, July 26 Venue: Second Story City: Bloomington, IN We arrived early for a "live transmissions on college radio" thing. It was a good broadcasting performance except for CoCo's "I'm not really prepared to speak, so subconsciously my southern accent really cuts through" downer. I actually accused him of being on tour with the Oakridge Boys instead of being that of the Astro-Clan. Fun show, great crowd, and Dex X rocks again. What more could you want? J. Cougar MCamp showing up on his home turf? Well, it was okay; our feelings weren't hurt. What's he done that's been worth dick since the first side of "American Fool" anyway? (I didn't just write that...) Thursday, July 27 Venue: Shank Hall City: Milwaukee, WI We showed up mega-spectacular early at Bill from Rush-Moore Record's house (aptly described as a Taco Bell covered in vines). We slept all day in traditional CoCo "wake me up before the year 2000" zombie mode. Bill was the man: Mexican food, a well-promoted in-store, and Laundry. Those 3 components make for a touring band's own little slice of heaven. Star Crunch bought matching chrome telecaster bodies earlier in the day so the future may hold a rather reflective guitar attack. The show itself was not a very professional procedure, but it was wild. Dexter was rightfully served a crow-eating dosage about his never breaking strings. I still can't believe he plays naked under his space suit. Friday, July 28 Venue: Lounge Ax City: Chicago, IL Chicago is kind of our home away from home planet. Our booking agency, The Billions Corporation, is there and we have tons of earthlings who have been brainwashed into being nice to us centered there. Our friend Scott Williams, who does all our drum head and banner artwork, set up an in-store at Wreckless Records for us. It was more fun than lickin' the old 9-volt. Mr. Dexter X kept getting shocked because his amp wasn't grounded; he's going to have to get used to our extreme voltage intake. The show itself was packed to the hilt with earth types making for a Top Ten heat indexer for us Astro-Hoppers. The show ended with 2 guitars and no bass because of CoCo's mind and string numbing attack! Watch out Jon Spencer! Saturday, July 29 Venue: Club DeWash City: Madison, WI Geezer, this joint was a weird one. It was a hotel, restaurant, bar, gay dance club, live music club, and generally goofy place. After the show I found out that Hot Rod's, the gay club downstairs, was a Jeffery Dahmer hot spot; supposedly the guy we stayed with was friends with the guy who escaped from Dahmer and led to his arrest. Scary stuff - guess there's more than just having the government experimenting on your alien anatomy to worry about. This was an action-packed show, but I'm tired of the 21 and over bull chips. Four kids drove 8 hours to see us play, which is sick enough, but even darker and more sadistic is the fact that we couldn't get them in. How about a 21 and UNDER sometime? Sunday, July 30 Venue: 7th Street Entry City: Minneapolis, MN In Hamburg, Germany we took on Soul Asylum, but tonight we dared an even greater adversary, Van Halen. They were playing across the street from us at the Civic Center, and I'm sure Eddie was fearing the day his path was to inevitably cross that of Star Crunch's, just as the criss-cross lines stretch their way over the body of that fabled Kramer. Dexter's former booking agency is from Minneapolis, so he was forced to hold constant, informal Supernova press conferences. During the show, CoCo pulled some rather convincing Prince imitations. By the way, no Mellencamp in Indiana, and no Artist Formally Known as Prince in Minneapolis. Are we not gauche or what? Anyway, we better have an earth-collapsing show in Moorehead, because as our current motto states: "It's all downhill after Bozeman." Monday, July 31 Venue: The Coffee Club City: Moorehead, MN Our ever-reliable tour compadres, The Galaxy Trio, had a brief attack of the tour itinerary dysfunction so they thought they weren't playing. This, however, did not coincide with the fliers or the knowledge of the club. Their replacement was a film on electrical safety that the Lounge Lizard rigged through the P.A. All the kids actually sat and watched attentively. See the benefit of playing all ages shows? The club was packed again, and CoCo had a fine audience-pleasing performance. He even grabbed a 12-year-old kid and carried him around in "King Kong" fashion. I didn't steal this drum stand I wanted for the new electronic drum pads that I got in Minneapolis. Good Karma should be waiting, otherwise I wish I had that damn stand! Tuesday, August 1 Venue: Filling Station City: Bozeman, MT The twelve hour drive was like being baked inside a nuclear reactor. I can deal with the length of time and the cramped space, but the lack of a shower is unbearable. I felt like a facelift would have yeilded a Domino's pizza. Pee bottles were at maximum capacity by the time we arrived. Both our radio interview and our in-store fell through. After arriving on campus (where we had gone to track down said botched radio interview), Star Crunch and CoCo found the building where the guy who wrote "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance" taught English. With the realization that today was a logistical nightmare that made the Chicago postal system seem organized, we headed for the club. The Filling Station was nuts, or rather it really wasn't. It was totally imaginable...It was just the fact that it wasn't something I had ever WANTED to imagine that led me to astonishment. Ever see Patrick Swayze's movie "Roadhouse"? You know the movie where the bartender says to a girl he's fucking in the storage room, "That's right baby, you're goin' to be my regular Saturday night thang."? You know with Jeff Healy playing behind a caged stage. Um...the map says "You are here!" Why did only truck drivers fight in Vietnam? During soundcheck this guy came up to CoCo and said "Look, you're really annoying the fuck out of the patrons. And if you piss off the patrons, then you got a big problem in a bad way." No need for a barroom brawl scene yet, so I called off soundcheck (the P.A. sucked anyway). The clientele for the show completely changed though. A strange mix of mountain-climbing machos and local alternative freaks. The show was wild. Too much so. Girls and guys alike were being beat around like that head-bopping game you find at the mall arcade. You could smell the testosterone in the high altitude air. It was stupid. Dexter ragged on the crowd for its mental affiliation with professional wrestling. We only played 12 songs. Afterwards, everyone (slammers included) said they loved the show. Fuck this scene. I blame Alice in Chains for all this. Honorable mention: John the promoter is a great guy and made us excellent vegetarian tortillas (the only remaining positive feature of this night). Wednesday, August 2 Day Off On the road to Seattle Nyquil helps you get your zeeze, or whatever the jingle is. I slept like a dead, dirty baby. I got to (do you like that optimistic phrasing?) drive through a good portion of Montana. It was simply breath-taking (luckily we had our emergency respirator units available whenever needed). It looked exactly like those Disney "Wilderness Family" movies that I loved as a kid. Well, just seeing the scenery was probably better than growing up in a log cabin faced with a hopelessly uncalled for sequel. Later in the day, we drove through the town where "Twin Peaks" and "Northern Exposure" were filmed. We arrived in Grunge City, U.S.A. (actually I think Seattle is a great place) to shower up at the house of the Lounge Lizard's Kinko's compadre Rosemary. I separated myself from the group so proper space was allowed for everyone to deal with me. I got a really cool book on the band Kraftwerk, and I got a shirt that has the Roger Moore and Chick iron-on but says "Star Fucker" instead of "Moonraker". I love seeing movies by myself...it makes me feel like such a fucking loser. Tonight's pick was "The Net." I thought it was okay - a good story but presented in a mega-boring fashion. Also all I have to say is "To all you internet geeks - get outside and expose yourself to harmful UV radiation dorkoid!" Thursday, August 3 Venue: Crocodile Cafe City: Seattle, WA Our first show here nearly 2 years ago was one of the worst Electronic Catastrophes this side of a transcontinental brown-out. Nothing, absolutely nothing, worked. I punched our rental van and left a dent the size of a grapefruit in the hood. We redeemed ourselves earlier this May with a charged up Pre-Garage Shock show. This was set up for the breaking of our 50/50 chances of success. We arrived and immediately I was sentenced to Drum Hell. My tom heads were completely dead, my snare sounded like a hollow bag of piss, and my drum sticks were more chewed than the edge of a 4th grader's homework looseleaf. Temporarily fixed, by some borrowed goods from the fab men of the Galaxy Trio, I settled for mediocrity. On this tour, most people at the clubs thought my "space dork" kit was electronic anyway. After dinner, CoCo took us to the Mr. Mad Scientists' (Dale Travist) laboratory for a look at the 8 foot Tesla Coil. As always, it was amazing. One million volts, jagged flashes of sharp, purple light, and a sound straight out of the Death Star destruction scene of "Star Wars." This is the most intense the life of a space rocker gets. The show was a great package, The Galaxy Trio put on yet another fine display of great instrumental rock, and the Smugglers were fantastic. The Smugglers have to be one of the funnest live bands inside any space-time continuum! Our show went well; Dexter X was in fine, fine fashion. Then the 10 hours to Portland lay ahead like a distant star system, light years away. The only problem was that our intergalactic vessel was a '82 Chevy Ten van. Friday, August 4 Venue: Satyricon City: Portland, OR We drove straight to Portland after the Seattle show in order to get set into a more organized Astro-Mind Set. Chaos was now set into place almost like CoCo's leaning tower of electronics. We arrived in Portland around 7 a.m. to stay with one of Dexter's friends, Amy. Crash-landing took on a new meaning as the four of us transferred our active roles as aliens into that of zombies. Upon my return to consciousness, I prepared (stretching all necessary bio-servo mechs) to enter town. I had a great indian style buffet lunch while listening to the ramblings of two guys who were talking about running over squirrels in the street. Two fine shops get the Highest Astro-Approval: Poker Face, a retro clothes, skatewear, vespa scooter, hispster paraphenalia store (O.K., maybe I'm biased cause they actually stocked Man or Astro-Man? T's); and Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Collectible Toys, thanks to whom I became the proud owner of a Quisp Key Chain and a bendable Mr. Peanut figure. Also, Ozone Records, where we did an in-store, was an excellent store with a myriad of 7"'s and fanzines. This pre-show was immensely fun. I was just getting over a cold and I had snot flying everywhere - apologies to anyone looking at the R-Z's in the Used CD rack. The show later that night at the Satyricon was also a thrill-soaked blast of wanton teenage excitement. This girl pulled CoCo out in the audience and literally beat the shit out of him - I'm talking serious bloody nose. It was an absolute riot. After the show, the same girl asked the injured Monkey Wizard if he wanted to have sex. To top it all off, one hit super-legend Tommy Tutone was out checking the sounds from Astro. Saturday, August 5 Venue: Bimbo's 365 Club City: San Francisco, CA This was supposed to be the climax of this tour. Bimbo's was a completely amazing place. Swank reaches a new level with this kind of joint. In the '60s Esquivel was contracted to play here. We got to check out his contract: $5,307 a week, 3 shows a day, 6 muscians, 3 female vocalists, and the slickest sounds this side of the rings of Saturn. We all felt out of place and out-classed, after all we're just 3 whacked space teens who crashed in the great state of Alabama...oh, yeah, I almost forgot about our California via Cynot 3 drifter, Dexter X. The planets must have been in perfect alignment because everything that happened the entire day was not in sync with the normal Man or Astro-Man? logistics (i.e. everything actually went flawlessly). Well, except for CoCo leaving every single sample disk in Portland. We bought all our own CDs at Tower, resampled the intros and prayed that Fed. Ex. would bring us a more permanent cure when we arrived in L.A. Both the in-store and the show went in sync with our world-conquering motives. 1,200+ people ended up coming, and there was a line a block long of people who could not enter the entertainment envelope. I actually felt rather absurd. The whole Man or Astro-Man? project suddenly seemed like a miniscule joke that had infested upon itself and gotten way out of hand. Still, it was great to see Ken Sanderson, Alabama's only true punk rocker; Estrus Head Man Dave Crider; Art Chantry, our main graphic artist, and even Jello Biafra who was still bitching about not being on the guest list. Geeze, shell out some of that "Bedtime for Democracy" royalty cash! Sunday, August 6 Venue: F/X City: San Jose, CA If Man or Astro-Man? was a children's television program this episode would be titled "CoCo's Big Day!" Sonic, a skateboard company in San Jose, were going to have the Man or Astro-Man? decks ready to fly. After hearing 2 1/2 months of monkey-speak, we were finally going to see what CoCo had set into motion. They looked astro-amazing! The Tom Bagely artwork was superb. The club had even made full color posters of the same artwork for the show. The pages of Thrasher were only a few shreds of grip tape away. This was a really great line up. The Hi-Five's, The Mr. T Experience, and of course the Eight-Legged Dork Machine incarnate. The Hi-Five/Mr. T experience was a guaranteed good time in the space suit pocket. Our show was a weird one in any terran terms; the gravity problem was definitely self-evident. On the second to last song, "Nitrous Burnout," my kit completely fell to a wicked death. I finished the last verse with only a hi-hat and a snare. It might not have been a successful audition for the Violent Femmes or Doo Rag, but I think I did as admiral a job as a space private like myself was capable of. We did our "The Who from Outer Space" maneuvers and the stage ended up looking like destroyed clumps of civilization that remain at the end of Missile Command. I guess this was fun, at least the earth patrons of San Jose said it was, but then again, who can trust an earthman? Monday, August 7 Day Off in L.A. Okay, by this time you are probably well aware that the term "Night Drive" is more than just the Atari game where you get to use the paddles. On our way to stay on the beach with Dexter X's friend Steve Waggoner, we had a rather bizarre set of circumstances befall us. A guy in a car with a beagle pulled up and asked, "What are you guys doing?" Dexter X replied, "I don't know. Who are you?" "I'm the police!" The light changes to green and we rocket on our way in bemusement. The next thing we know, two cop cars are pulling us over. We all have to put our hands out the window, and they call Dexter out. Apparently, some one had called in that our Astro-trailer was a trailer that had been stolen. Unfortunately for us, it also looked strange to the fuzzies that our plates were from Alabama, but our driver was from Costa Mesa, where the other trailer had been stolen. I couldn't believe that someone could actually say that we hadn't acquired the Jupiter II on our own hard work. Why, I still remember the day CoCo put the "Repairing Your TV with Savage Teenage Lust" vinyl lettering on her backside. Everything eventually got cleared up and the rest of the day went as smooth as a Californian Protein Drink. Well, Dex did break his toe because of incompetent boogie-boarding. We got to stop by everyone's favorite store (or it would be if you didn't have to give them your phone number and address every fucking time you go) - Radio Shack. Later, we ordered pizza and watched William Peter Blatty's "The 9th Configuration," an amazing film that is now a must-see on the Astro-Tour Film Viewer. Tuesday, August 8 Venue: Jabberjaw City: LA, CA Last year the Man or Astro-Unit?, complete with the Dr. Deleto circuit, played one of our hottest shows ever at Jabberjaw. The club is in a horrible part of town, the ventilation is nil, and the P.A. is fading into nonexistance. So, why is this place so great? The humans that oversee this spot are some of the finest in the known cosmos! Ah, you humans still overcome the lameness of your species if only on a few occasions. With these kinds of shows, I just forget about the quality of sound and what little bit of professionalism I might have. The main objective is to mustard[sic] enough psychotic energy to burn people's hair off their heads. This show was no exception, and it was a complete thrill to make CoCo mad enough to kick over my hi-hat stand after I spit in his face. Supposedly Drew Barrymore came out. If I had known this, I would have surely burned the hair off her head with my heat vision. Wednesday, August 9 Venue: Spaceland City: LA, CA They say that there are so many cellular phone transmissions in the Hollywood area that they travel through people's brains to get to their destinations. This makes about as much sense as anything because LA is the only place weirder than space. Southern Californian traffic makes an asteroid belt look calm and refreshing. Our in-store at Rhino maintained an OK energy status, but was rushed and thus fairly mediocre. The Spaceland Club itself turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment; what we thought was going to look like the Death Star metamorphasized into a rather large LA hipster club/Captain D's. This show was a mess. The P.A. blew and the crowd was completely insane. Star Crunch tight-roped the stage bannister, and the drums got kicked over at least five times. It was either amazing or complete shit. I really wasn't sure. I had a completely solid readout of ambiguity on this one. Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo was out as well as the Cramps. Two of my all time favorite bands, but I was lacking the space balls (not to be confused with the Mel Brooks flick) to meet them. It's hard to face idols whom you've read countless numbers of zine interviews about. This was our most violent night of the tour. It even had closure. Dexter got knocked out by one of CoCo's Astrophonic Speaker Horns before the show, and after it was all over I got pissed at the Lounge Lizard and kicked a TV off a speaker. Birdstuff is the King of Embarrassment once again. Thursday, August 10 Venue: The Casbah City: San Diego, CA No Clash jokes please! The Casbah was a cool little club with lots of notoriety. It was right across from the airport, and it looked like in-coming planes were going to crash into the surrounding buildings. The Hi-Fives were great as always, but Deadbolt, who are on Cargo, were really hilarious. I never was very fond of their records, but the live show was as entertaining as an Alabama Offroad Mud Derby, which, I might add, is one of the world's finest sport spectacles. I thought our show was intense. We finally played Supernova's "Calling Hong Kong" so Dexter could display his goods, and the crowd completely lost logical brian patterns causing Dexter to get a tooth knocked out by a flying mic stand. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have ever made fun of Epitaph for giving their bands a health plan. Major surgery is looking like it's going to be a common experience for extended Astro-Tours. Friday, August 11 Venue: Double Down City: Las Vegas, NV Vegas is the wackiest, tackiest city on this planet. We arrived at 9 in the morning. Louis the Letch, our casino connection and one of the slickest gentlemen on Planet Vegas set us up with rooms at La Concha next to the spot where the Untamed Youth recorded their live album, the El Morocco. Here's the break: CoCo and Dexter ended up out $100 a piece, and Star Crunch up $120. The actual show was completely fucked. There's no way for bands to really play in Vegas so people do indie shows at different venues. The Double Down is definitely a bar and not a club. People were out for blood. Drunk, mad and out of their heads. This was a wild fucking crowd. I mean we could barely play. CoCo was getting leveled like a Jr. High School Offensive Tackle going up against the entire Pittsburg Stealers defensive line. Additionally, the place's wiring was fucked. Star Crunch got such a jolt that he blacked out and fell on a TV. We had to quit after 10 songs because someone was literally going to get killed. After the show the testosterone continued to flow like Niagra. "Let's prove our stupidity through violence" reigned as a guy popped another guy in the face with a glass bottle. The guy was screaming and bleeding like shit all over the asphalt. His face was going to be scarred for life. Flashing ambulance lights replaced the accustomed stage lights as everyone headed back to the casinos. Was this primitive ritual really fun? I'm into punk energy, but these Thundar and his Barbarians show goers will be annihilated when our invasion is completed. Saturday, August 12 Live Radio Broadcast Day in Tucson, AZ We escaped Vegas and Area 51, but our live Radio Broadcast in Tucson turned out to be a phoned-in sentence five miles outside of the Hoover Dam area. Our Earth Ground Transport Vehicle faltered, but with fate on our side we soon got back in sync, if only in a mechanical sense. The Hoover Dam was completely phenomenal in itself. The guide book said that with all the concrete used to build it you could make a passageway 5 feet across all the way from the North Pole to the South Pole. By coincidence, we met up with tour mates The Hi-Fives at the dam. Crossing the Mojave and surrounding desert plains, we headed for Phoenix, Arizona and the home of Eastside Records and Entertainment King, Ben Wood. Ben has an amazing Tiki Room and an equally great collection of Robert Williams, Coop, etc. artwork. Finally, we headed off to our robot dream states with our alien bellies full compliments of an earth cheese pizza. Sunday, August 13 Venue: Boston's City: Phoenix, AZ Ben Wood is probably the nicest gent that we have had the pleasure of examining. No alien abduction here; Ben will be one of the few that we spare at the cosmic time of inevitable annihilation. Ben runs Eastside Records in Phoenix which is a complete archetype of what an independent record store should be. Super recently Eastside has also started putting out vinyl. Man or Astro-Man?'s "Needles in the Cosmic Haystack" 7" being the impetus of their new endeavor. The in-store at Eastside was jam-packed with terrans ready to be blasted with that Astrophonic sound. This was really excellent: Star Crunch amazed onlookers by doing the noise section of "Nitrous..." by sliding used CDs up and down the fret board. After the in-store we got to see the Neil Young film "Human Highway" starring Devo. Fairly novel stuff, but can you say "1982"? Boston's, the chosen area for tonight's Astro-Incursion, was a weird place with a stage that was half indoors and half outdoors. The audience could stand on either side. With my well-known affinity for all that is backwards, I had to find a solution for the rearview on-lookers. Tonight the other three Astro-Men did it "for the kids up front," while I pleased the alternate universe crowd with my drum mechanizations. I actually had the bigger audience. The show went well. It was another riot ensuing crowd. One guy jumped on stage, unplugged Star Crunch's amp and bit my cymbal. I never thought the taste of brass was very palatable, but hey, I'm from space. Monday, August 14 Venue: Golden West City: Alburquerque, NM We had a strange drive on the way to Albuquerque. On the scary side of things, the van stalled right after one of those "Federal Prison Institution/Do not pick up hitchhikers" signs. Luckily, we re-ignited the retros before any thumbs became visible. However, on a more desirable circuit, we were able to check out the meteor site just outside Flagstaff, AZ. It was downright awe-inspiring . To think of something that size with that velocity striking the earth from space is just completely astounding. The crater is so large that 20 football games could be played simultaneously within its rim. In Albuquerque, our in-store at Dropout Records was completed to our working formula's satisfaction. Brief X energetic = happy crowd + happy Astro-Men. We couldn't see the National Atomic Museum because we did not have our insurance papers for the van, thus, we were unable to be a registered vehicle on the military base in which the museum is located. Space Poop! The club was located on Historic Route 66, and because of the installation of a new P.A. system we got a chance to walk around. What's this? Taco Bell closed at 7 p.m.? No running to the border was possible here. It was CoCo's earth birthday, so the Hi-Fives hit him with a birthday tune during their set while us Astro-Men handled cake duties. Our actual performance was rather tame. Possibly fortunately for us, we played in the dark. The sound guy never turned the lights on, so if you didn't have a pair of infrared goggles on, all you had was the dim light of the film projector to see four dorky Astro-figures by. Tuesday, August 15 Venue: Mercury Cafe City: Denver, CO This day was crammed into the waste module with all kinds of space gobble so try to hang on tightly. We landed in Colorado Springs at about 10 a.m. to complete CoCo's Tesla pilgrimage. The "Tesla Museum" was in absolute disarray. Half of the displays weren't completely up and the main show room resembled the interior of a shop class more than it did a museum. It is in honorable defense that the place is voluntarily run and the staff on hand were beyond informative and nice. The "tour" wasn't until 2 p.m., so we scoured the town for nifty thrift stores. Dexter snagged a farfisa compact organ for an even 100 smackers, and Star Crunch got a cheesy guitar/drum sample pedal that made some truly bizarre noises like all the freaked moog hits found on the Devo Hardcore stuff. The Tesla Tour was fascinating. We were shown an instructive video and then a guide did various experiments with a Jacob's Ladder and numerous Tesla coils. It's really amazing the technology that the world was provided with through the genius of Tesla: neon, x-rays, radio, alternating current, lasers, remote controls, robotics, radar - the 20th century would still be hanging on the apron strings of the industrial revolution if not for Nikola Tesla. Also, it is downright terrifying the simplistic technology that the government keeps from us for corporate profit or other devious gains. At the Mercury Cafe, we had dinner and somehow got entangled in the theory of "ebbing originality and creativity due to the emperical finite possibilities of current modern instrument line up and sound capability." Basically, everyone disagreed completely. The audience was hooked to the core on that all-ages energy tip. It was reanimating to my robot soul. Kids going wild without beating each other's cranium in or acting like they're in a Stone Temple Pilots video. The show was a stimulatingly good time. I got to climb in the rafters during the set, went back into a storage attic, and came back with a full-size moose head. After the inevitable destaging, we hung out with Brian from Weezer, who had played a show in town earlier. He was a super friendly guy and we almost stayed in Weezer's hotel rooms because they were leaving at 1 a.m. for Phoenix, but we met a fine gentleman also named Brian who let us crash at his place. Hotels are generally lame for a small touring band. You dish out $50 of your hard, space-sweated moula to have some insane maid wake-up ceremony at 10 in the morning. Fuck that earthly concept. I'd much rather stay with a cordial earth inhabitant. You get turned on to new bands, comics, movies, certifiably deranged local characters, and all kinds of new general philosophies. The final score of the night was the "Almighty Robotic Horn Blowing Gutiar Unit" that Dexter X scored from the rafters. Someone had attached two bicycle horns together, added about a dozen loopy knobs, and pulled out the wired interior of this old guitar to make the aforementioned device. Hey, but here's the strangest kick in the proverbial space booty - it actually worked! Astro-Luck on foreign worlds...nothing like it in the cosmos. Wednesday, August 16 Beautiful Day Off in Denver, CO Rest and relaxation on planet Earth. Today's occurrences were happily uneventful. Our host, Brian, was going way beyond the "mi casa, su casa" customs. We went to the "Breakfast King" to do an interview during which CoCo ecstatically declared it "The Quest for the Ultimate Pancake Sandwich." Unable to find an ultra-sonic dirt blaster we once again washed laundry in typical earth coin-op fashion. After a cleaning of the space suits, supplies were retrieved from Star Crunch's favorite outlet: Wal-Mart. We decided to make the cinematic death wish of seeing "Waterworld" come true. What's worse is that everyone got the student discount of $3.75 except for me, Mr. Forget to Ask for the Discount So Get Popped for $5.75 for One of the Worst Movies of Any Dimension. I really tried hard to appreciate this film, but it just bit like a giant celluloid stink patty. It touched on some decent, heady environmental issues, but then had these boring 15 minute "Road Warrior" on Jet Skiis rip-off action scenes. Back at Brian's we went through the normal Astro-departure procedure, 94-CX-2, including the idiot check. When we got on the road around midnight to head for Lawrence, KS everyone was honking their horns at us. The question of whether or not anyone remembered to shut and lock the trailer door was posed. Indeed it was as wide open as an Astro-patron's mouth right before chomping down on a Little Debbie. Fortunately, we packed that sucker so tight that nothing fell out. Why do an idiot check when the band is completely full of them? Thursday, August 17 Venue: Bottleneck's City: Lawrence, KS Okay, okay our D.I.Y. mode finally broke! 10:00 a.m. in Lawrence, KS - no way we were going to spend all day in a parking lot: Ramada Inn here we come! Pool side in top style, Astro-Luxury is as high society as can be imagined. Last year at the same space occupation unit, we had a great show while on our tour with Southern Culture on the Skids. For some inexplicable reason we had an enormous payload of interviews. We even did an interview for a Spanish magazine. Let me relay to you that my two years of Spanish that I had learned in a primitive Earth Education Institution served me nothing more than a plateful of humiliation. The show sold out and proved to be one of the most affable that we had all tour. For the Astro-Hardware Instrument Systems this was an extremely taxing night. Dexter smashed 1 1/2 guitars, Star Crunch kicked in a TV screen, and I personally tested the aerodynamic properties of my interstellar drum module. Also, we annihilated the back lighting and ceiling tile above the stage. So maybe we get docked for our juvenile space treachery, it was fun. My personal highlight was seeing Star Crunch scrap with a crowd member for one of my drumsticks. They were rolling all over the stage in the attempt to possess that prized Birdstuff souvenir. Small, yet cunning and adaptable, Star Crunch soon won out over his large, but technically undermatched earth adversary. At the end of the night the guys from Better Than Ezra came up to us. They were playing the next night in Lawrence, but had flown in early just to see the show. Actually, they used to open for us in Atlanta. Alas, those seemed to be the days of old as Dexter asked, "Hey, aren't you guys rock stars?" After the show at the hotel our key wouldn't work and there was "mystery hair," a cockroach, and a cricket in the bathroom. What was I blabbing about Astro-Luxury earlier? Friday, August 18 Venue: Cicero's City: St. Louis, MO Update: The "Almighty Robotic Horn Blowing Guitar Unit" has recently been bungeed and chain locked to the front of the van as a hood ornament. Dexter has refused to ever play it because of the myriad of bug intestines now enmassed on its surface. We did a rather enjoyable phone interveiw with a magazine in Orlando, FL. We have switched labels from the Estrus satellite to the Touch and Go Planet. When asked why we didn't consider any major labels, I relayed that we already made our own nuclear weapons, tested on animals (including humans), and harmed the environment in ways that earth scientists would never be able to calculate, so what could a major label possibly be able to offer us that we don't already possess, control or plan to conquer? Needless to say, we decided to continue to do E.P.s with Estrus but simply felt that Touch and Go was a solid, beneficial, honest place to coincide with our new "Tour Till You Drop" schedule. Tonight's show at Cicero's was with hometown mutant friends, The Quadrajets, which of course features the unbridled guitar debauchery of former Astro-Man, Captain Zeno. They're great guys in a great band (strange duality for these days, eh?) and they use more oil in their hair than that spilled by the Exxon-Valdez. A certain respect factor is thusly due. All said, we made the moronic decision of going to see They Might Be Giants at another venue instead of hanging around to see the 'Jets. They Might Be Giants are nothing but a completely dulled, blase parody of their prior, amazing selves. What ever happened to two nerdy, New England guys running around with a marching bass drum, an accordion, guitar and drum machine? The backing band had that uninterested, coked-out, glazed, "male porno star" look about them. It just completely sucked. I threw my gum at the bass player. In the immortal words of CoCo, "This is worse than "Waterworld"!" Back at Cicero's, the show was hotter than a Martian s'mores cookout and the show was a lot of fun. I'm being Captain Obvious. Isn't that every show? We left right afterwards for Nashville to stay with Star Crunch's cloned older sibling entity. On the way, this guy studied our trailer briefly then walked to his van and pulled out a CD. He then asked CoCo, "Is this you guys?" Well, well, what's that? "Destroy All Astro-Men!"? Our disease has seeped into mini-vans! Now that's an accomplishment! He asked if we would sign the CD for him. "Only if you sign something of ours first!" Saturday, August 19 Venue: The Mercury Theatre City: Knoxville, TN Back in the Southland! It made me feel that good ole space alien inbred vibe that I had been missin' on that durn new agey West Coast. The Branock Device and I spent the day coming up with new and twisted drum configurations. We were completely destroying the stale thinking that provides normal drum didones with standardized kit set ups. Nanotechnology is the new emphasis. Only Earthmen with micro-penises need a big drum set to equalize their egos. Come on, Carmen Appice, Jr., do you really need 7 crash cymbols? I'm going to blow that sucker away with the Astro-Shrinking Ray! One possibility was using a trigger that is secured to the stage itself as the kickdrum. The bass pedal would actually travel all the way to the floor hitting the unseen trigger. The illusion of a drum set, set up with a completely invisible, or more accurately, nonexistent bass drum. Silly? Maybe, but our advanced minds must keep themselves entertained. This led to discussions into new live shows. We collectively came up with the "Maximum Efficiency, Video Buddy System, Live Musical Experimentation" tour. Basically, each member would tour by himself with the other 3 members being represented by a "video-generated stand-in." This would allow us to still have a live element to the show, but at the same time allow us to play in four cities at one time. The ultimate in Low Budget Mass Media Marketing! Who needs Kraftwerk's expensive servo mechanisms, and hired computer automators when somebody's folks own a video camera? Hey wait, wasn't there something about a show played in Knoxville, TN in here? Okay, enough of our inane Astro-Futures. At the Mercury Theatre we were as tight as the artificial straps we secure our earth experimentees with. The crowd was an aggressive Little Debbie-throwing bunch. It's always great sitting behind my drum fortification and getting to watch CoCo being brutally pelted with Nutty Buddy's. Apologies went out from me to Dexter for biting his butt unit, but he should have never gotten it that close to my synthetic chomper by standing on my drum monitor. A lesson learned by all. Dexter won't get that close to me ever again, and I realize that Dexter X's butt tastes like a combo platter of fetid tofu and sweaty toe jam. Sunday, August 20 Venue: Local 506 - SLEAZEFEST City: Chapel Hill, NC The Last Great Show of yet another tour of Planet Earth. Sleazefest was a great 3 day smorgasbord of highly charged bands like the immortal Woggles, the Hate Bombs, Southern Culture on the Skids, the Flat Duo Jets, Sons of Hercules, Hillbilly Frankenstein and a slew of more phenomenal bands than most clubs have in an entire year. Astro-Friends had circled the globe and converged on the Local 506. It was practically like a "This Is Your Life" episode in which four lonely space dorks get entirely too nostalgic. Anyway, it was a perfect ending to our "Tour to End All Known Practical Science" because sometimes every Astro-Man longs for human companionship. The show was a macromolecule short of being one of the most enjoyable of the tour. Our main video historian, Craig Zeerfoss at No Place Like Home Productions was documenting the New Dexter Era Astro-Show. As soon as the Tour Probe returns to Alpha H.Q. we will be editing 7 shows that Craig has captured to contrive a Live Video Collage of some of the wildest and weirdest Astro-Performances. Our Sleazefest Show proved to be a valuable resource for wild and weird itself. First off, the Lounge Lizard fell on his ass bringing the likes of half our stage set up with him. A Human Avalanche of Mass Media, a sight beyond bounds. Secondly, I forgot to remind my center of brain cell activity that I can barely chew Earth bubble gum and walk, much less chew and play drums. Needless to relay, my nutrional chomping units punctured my fat smoocher. Being the clever space freak that I am, I quickly turned a punctured lip wound into a Gene Simmons blood spitting side show. Oh yes, the geniusness of stupidity comes to play once again for Mr. B.Stuff. Finally, some big chick and a burned out earth man got on stage for our second to last song. They were dancing right in front of the rhythmic sound device that I call home. It was really starting to piss me off. I said, "Get the fuck out of my way. No one can see me play." Drummers never get their fair shake to begin with. "Fucking move! Do you think I'm making my face contort like this for excercise?" They were oblivious. At the end of "Principles Unknown," our last song, I decided that they would look much snazzier if they wore my drum set as hats. They actually looked surprised. I continued the overly macho, Jesus Lizard-style antic all the way to the goal line, but the audience forced me back on stage with space dork kit in hand. Sorry guys for being a turd, but I like to be seen. Birdstuff is once again the provider of goose eggs. On that note, it all ended. The Astro-Van turned into a pumpkin. Branock and the Lounge Lizard were their original, mousey selves and CoCo, S.Crunch, and Mr. X looked just lovely as my wart-covered, wicked step sisters. We will meet again I'm sure as the Fairy Godmother will surely make us search for our own glass slipper up the East Coast in the oncoming month of October. See you then fellow dorkoids. - Birdstuff ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS -- An Audiophile's Dream (Part Two) by Steve Marshall In the last article, I wrote about several of the CDs and albums recently released by Mobile Fidelity (MFSL). This time, I'll go over more of the titles that MFSL has released and a couple of the accessories they have for your stereo and your music collection. We'll begin with the second release by John Mayall, "Blues Breakers (With Eric Clapton)". MFSL gave this classic album the 24 karat gold treatment, and it couldn't be more deserving. The Ultradisc II CD has excellent depth and separation, especially on the sparse guitar/piano arrangement of "Ramblin' on My Mind" (which also features the first recorded vocals by Clapton). The clarity throughout the 1966 recording is astounding. It's amazing to hear what the 21-year-old guitarist was capable of at such an early age. To date, John Mayall's "Blues Breakers" remains one of the best blues albums ever recorded. Keeping things in a blues vein, the crown jewel of MFSL's catalog has got to be the acoustic Muddy Waters album, "Folk Singer". It won the prestigious Golden Note Award for Best Reissue Recording in 1995 from The Academy for the Advancement of High End Audio. After hearing the Anadisq 200 version of the album, I didn't think it could possibly sound any better - but it does (albeit only marginally). The Ultradisc II CD includes two bonus tracks recorded in April 1964 -- "You Can't Lose What You Ain't Never Had", and the Willie Dixon tune, "The Same Thing". The dynamic range of the recording is breathtaking. You'll swear you're in the middle of the recording studio when you listen to this CD. The rest of the titles mentioned here are Anadisq 200 vinyl releases, all pressed on 200 grams of pure virgin vinyl. Starting things off will be the second and third studio albums by classic rock legends Emerson, Lake & Palmer. MFSL has released two ELP titles so far, "Tarkus" and "Trilogy". The dynamic range on "Tarkus" was excellent. Comparing the MFSL version to the CD in the 1993 "Return of the Manticore" boxed set, the Anadisq 200 sounded more natural. Bass response was better, although the high end seemed a bit muted on MFSL's version, especially on "Bitches Crystal" and "A Time and a Place". The album that really shines for Mobile Fidelity, though, is "Trilogy". There was no surface noise whatsoever. All of the instruments and voices were clear and distinct, much more open than on the boxed set. Bass response was deep and resonant, never boomy. Carl Palmer's drums at the beginning of "The Sheriff" sound great, extremely tight and clear. Keith Emerson's piano on the title track sounds warm and natural. Another of the album's many shining moments is on the Greg Lake track, "From the Beginning", with its acoustic introduction. Lake's vocals and guitar are particularly clear on the Anadisq 200 version. This is one of MFSL's best releases. Moving forward a few years to 1976, we come to Jean Michel Jarre's "Oxygene" album. As one of the founders of electronic music, Jarre has served as an inspiration to the many others in this musical genre (e.g. Isao Tomita, Kitaro, some of Brian Eno's material, etc.). At times, parts of the album (especially Part Two) are reminiscent of Pete Bardens' "Seen One Earth" album. With the technology and equipment available to today's musicians, the material on "Oxygene" sounds a bit dated at times. However, the pressing was virtually noise-free, and the sound quality on the album is outstanding. Shifting gears into reggae mode, we come to the classic album from Bob Marley and the Wailers, "Exodus". Overall, I was not very impressed with the sound on this album. The performance speaks for itself, but the sound is surprisingly "lo-fi" for an MFSL release. Not necessarily bad, but not up to Mobile Fidelity's usual high standards. "Exodus" includes several of Marley's most popular songs, such as "Waiting in Vain", "Jamming", "One World/People Get Ready", and of course, the title track. The last album to be reviewed here is the collaboration between blues guitarists Albert Collins, Robert Cray and Johnny Copeland - "Showdown!". Originally released in 1985, "Showdown!" contains choice cover tunes, as well as a few songs each guitarist had been performing live for some time. With such great tracks as Collins' "The Moon is Full" and the obscure "Black Cat Bone" (originally done by lap steel guitar master, Hop Wilson), this is one album not to be missed. The sound quality on "Showdown" is excellent, as is the performance. Again, the pressing was free of any surface noise, and the channel separation is superb throughout. Blues fans should take notice of this one, it's nothing short of spectacular. Moving on to the next portion of this article, Mobile Fidelity offers accessories for your stereo & your vinyl collection. One of the most important things a turntable owner can do to insure optimum sound and minimize record wear is to make sure your cartridge is properly aligned. Using the Geo-Disc alignment tool from MFSL, precision cartridge alignment is a snap. It allows you to easily set your cartridge's three most critical adjustments - offset, tracking angle, and overhang - to within .003" in minutes. The Geo-Disc effectively reduces the possibility of groove damage and distortion in both tracking and phasing, as well as minimizing any sibilance and tracing error. Mobile Fidelity also offers the protective inner sleeves used for the Anadisq 200 series separately. The rice-paper sleeves are excellent for protecting your prized vinyl collection. They eliminate the common problems associated with most poly-lined & paper sleeves, like scratching, static buildup, and stabilizer drift. They're excellent for storing laserdiscs as well. Mobile Fidelity has been providing the audiophile community with high quality products since their inception in 1977. Using the original master tapes for all their releases, they continue to produce the most natural & realistic sounding recordings currently available in any format. There have been several technological breakthroughs in the recording industry over the years, and MFSL has come up with some of their own, such as the proprietary GAIN mastering system. Audiophile companies have come and gone over the years, but Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs has proven time and time again that they are indeed the audiophile's dream. ========================================================================== [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[ [[ [ [ [[ [ [[ [[ [[[[[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[[[[ [[ [ [[ [[[[[ [[ [[ [ [[[ [ [ [[[ [[[ [[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ [ [[[[[ [[[[[[ [[ [[ [[[[[[ ========================================================================== THE AMERICAN RUSE - RETURN OF THE X (1+2/Barn Homes) If loud, fast and trashy 3-chord Rock & Roll is what gets ya goin', you're gonna dig the shit out of this little plastic thing. Think of everything you loved about bands like The Lazy Cowgirls, The Stones and The Heartbreakers and you'll get a pretty good idea of what these wildmen are all about. Of the 18 songs here (13 originals and a handful of cool covers by the likes of The Only Ones, J. Thunders etc.) there ain't a clunker in the bunch. This is pure, timeless, un-trendy Rock & Roll that will still sound great in 20 or even 50 years from now. And I bet that these guys kick some serious butt live too. (avail. thru Get Hip) - The Platterpuss THE BEATLES -- Anthology 1 (Capitol) One of the most eagerly awaited new releases in several months is the first in a series of three double-CDs from The Beatles, "Anthology 1". For the first time in 25 years, we have a "new" Beatles song -- the John Lennon-penned "Free as a Bird". Using an unfinished demo tape recorded by Lennon circa 1977 as the foundation, producer Jeff Lynne added instrumentation and vocal tracks by the three remaining Beatles to create the song. Unfortunately, the song doesn't live up to all the hype that was surrounding it. Is it interesting? Yes. Will you listen to it more than a few times? Probably not. The rest of the collection, however, is well worth the wait. The remaining tracks on "Anthology 1" are made up of rare, unreleased demos, outtakes, rehearsals & live performances -- commercially available for the first time. Some of the cuts that really stand out are a Paul McCartney/George Harrison song performed live by the Quarry Men in 1958, a newly discovered recording of "You Know What to Do" (the second song ever written by Harrison), five live songs from the failed Decca audition, two songs from the first audition for George Martin, and the rocking cover of Little Willie John's "Leave My Kitten Alone". The packaging for "Anthology 1" is first rate. It comes with a 48-page booklet and includes an introduction by the band's press officer, Derek Taylor. Extensive liner notes were written for each of the 60 tracks on the CDs by Mark Lewisohn. The cover art was designed by long time Beatles associate, Klaus Voormann (who also did the cover for "Revolver"). Some of the more entertaining tracks on the CD include five songs in excellent quality performed for Swedish radio in 1963, an unfinished version of "And I Love Her", and take two of "Can't Buy Me Love" with Paul messing up the lyrics. Other highlights on "Anthology 1" include takes two and three of "I'll Be Back" (which show how quickly the band could change direction in their songwriting), and the false starts on "Eight Days a Week" and "One After 909". If you like The Beatles, this is an essential addition to your CD collection. - (Steve Marshall) THE BOMBORAS - Savage Island (Dionysus) Pulp fictionites beware! If that's how you got interested in surf, and you still think that great Dick Dale tune is CALLED Pulp Fiction, go away and read a different review. This is very authentic surf, here. So authentic that it could easily pass for a 1962 recording. There's nothing particularly fancy here -- very few speed-picked lightning runs. Bomboras opt for melodic beauty in much the same way that their contemporaries, The Halibuts, do. (Although The Halibuts can speed pick with the best of them when they want to.) And like The 'buts, they even live in the authenticity-zone -- Los Angeles, California. Former members of The Finks, this band will make the traditionalists happy as hell, 'cept for the fact that they don't play Fender axes. Nobody's perfect, huh? The feel of this album is summed up nicely in the title, Savage Island. There's a definite tiki atmosphere in all that reverb. My only complaint is...25 MINUTES?!? I wanted it to keep on going. Thank God for the repeat button. - (DJ Johnson) DAVID BOWIE: Virgin Re-Releases Six CDs (Virgin) In late October, Virgin reissued six CDs from David Bowie's back catalog. Coinciding with his current tour with Nine Inch Nails, the reissues come at a time of renewed interest in Bowie's musical career. All were digitally remastered from (in most cases) the original analog master tapes. Five of the CDs now include bonus tracks. Originally released in 1983, the multi-platinum "Let's Dance" contains Bowie's biggest hits of the 80's -- the title track, "China Girl", "Modern Love", and his 1981 collaboration with Queen, "Under Pressure" (as a bonus track). Differences between the new version and EMI's original release were subtle. The reissue has color in the booklet, while the EMI version does not. The original CD has a more resonant low end, but the reissue has more punch to it. Bowie's follow-up album, "Tonight", didn't have quite the commercial success of "Let's Dance", but still reached platinum status. The album's first single, "Blue Jean", as well as "Neighborhood Threat" and "Loving the Alien" are all standout songs. Virgin's reissue contains three bonus tracks from various movie soundtracks. The booklet is the same as the EMI version. Sound quality on Virgin's CD is noticeably better than EMI's. Bowie's career started to wane with the release of his next album, "Never Let Me Down". Though it arguably contained some of his best performances, it was panned by critics. At Bowie's request, Virgin left off one of the original CD's better songs, "Too Dizzy". Apparently, he didn't feel the track fit in with the other songs on the album anymore. They added three bonus tracks to make up for it though. Virgin's remix of the 1987 album has a bit less bass than the original, but still sounds great. The booklets are identical between the two CDs. 1989 saw the debut release by Bowie's new band, Tin Machine. There are quite a few differences in the reissue of this one. The original EMI CD was a picture disc with the songs listed on it. Virgin's has the songs listed on a plain white label. The Virgin CD sounds tighter than the EMI, but EMI's is warmer. Virgin's CD also had a much higher output level than the original. Included as a bonus track on the reissue is a live country version of "Bus Stop". Virgin's reissue of Bowie's "Black Tie, White Noise" CD (originally released on the Savage label) is somewhat disappointing. There were no bonus tracks added, and the packaging was better on the original. Where the reissue has a blank white inlay card under the clear CD tray, the original had red lettering which lined up with the lettering on the CD. The sound on Virgin's CD is slightly better than the original. The last CD in the series is Bowie's soundtrack for the BBC television mini-series, "The Buddha of Suburbia" (available for the first time in the US). Bowie covers a wide range of musical styles on the CD, from the avant-garde jazz of "South Horizon" (featuring Mike Garson on piano), to the funky "Bleed Like a Craze, Dad". The CD also includes the original version of Bowie's latest single, "Strangers When We Meet". David Bowie has redefined the limits of rock music for over 25 years now. With the six new CDs, Virgin has documented an important period in Bowie's groundbreaking career. (Steve Marshall) THE BROOD - Hitsville (Dionysus) There's something very cool and primal about a good garage tune. It's not the MOST primal sound your speakers can kick out, but it's right in there. The Brood have been playing great garage music for something like a decade, and they keep getting better without ever abandoning the sound that made them cool in the first place. The music still sounds like it was recorded in a room flooded with psycho lights and sandlewood incense smoke. The Brood are four women from Portland, Maine, who choose obscure 60's tunes to cover and write originals that sound like they, too, might be obscure covers. Neat trick, doncha think? Not being an expert in the field of 60's garage (even though I'm a fan who's learning fast), I can't say who did these songs originally. I know The Damned did a great version of "Beat Girl," but if it was done before that, I confess my ignorance. So now that we've crashed through the song identification phase of this review, let's move on. Asch Gregory's Farfisa organ is the dominant sound, along with Chris Horne's streetwise vocals, which can be smooth as good scotch or mean as a cornered rattler. Horne's guitar paves the tracks with deep fuzz while Betsy Mitchell (bass) and Crystal Light (drums) keep things bouncing. Garage fans will need this album. It's essential to the collection. Mod fans will get into it as well. Just as you can hear the psycho lights, you can hear the boots and sunglasses. If you've never heard The Brood and you're looking for comparisons...write this down...Take 2 cups of Electric Prunes, 2 cups of ? and The Mysterians, sprinkle liberally with Standells, Lyres and Gravedigger V. Garnish with Count Five. Serve hot. (As IF you had a choice!) - DJ Johnson